Author's Note: If you have any tips writing tips, please feel free to comment.

As always, I continue to hope that I am doing justice to the spirit of Star Wars as well the respective authors and characters from which I borrow. Again, I gratefully accept constructive criticism as a means to help me develop my skills further as a writer.

Mandalorian (Mando'a) words

Buy'ce (BOO-chay, BOO-shay): helmet; Colloquially: pint, bucket

Ika (EE-kah): diminutive suffix written as 'ika - also added to a name as a very familiar or childhood form, e.g, Ord'ika - Little Ordo

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Chapter 34

I wanted to give you a moment in time, an opportunity to remember. You needed to know who you fight for, not just what and why.

Cerina Browlin, liaison to RC-1168, "Dusty," during the Denon Mission

Tochin Moon III, 786 Days ABG

Jas held his helmet in his hands without looking up and found himself studying the dents and scratches, the reminders that he was a soldier who trained hard to be the best at what he does. His survival came from too many years of preparing for war in live-fire training exercises, and he knew that he shouldn't have survived at least a third of those simulated missions. For as much as he and his brothers fought amongst each other and bent the rules as necessary to get their jobs done, they also were one of the tightest knitted squads in the Republic Army. Gan had told them once that their bickering and fighting had made them stronger because they weren't afraid to be who they were meant to be.

Their opinionated differences gave them the opportunity to see all angles of a problem or a situation and by doing so they had the ability to find the loopholes. Orders for Crimson were nothing but a guideline to be loosely followed, something they were given to outline the situation that lay ahead of them. How they handled the problem was entirely up to the way the situation had evolved by the time they got there.

Jas often considered himself lucky that he wasn't just one of the regular troopers who was limited in skills and knowledge. He couldn't imagine following orders with something that seemed like blindness to him. He saw how the troopers did as they were ordered, barely questioning it. He wondered why the Kaminoans had created so many of his clone brethren without the want to think beyond their orders and challenge such commands.

However, Jas had decided that he should just be grateful that the Kaminoan scientists had given him and his brothers a little extra independent thinking, something that was required for the skills of a specialized soldier in a squad such as Crimson.

For a brief moment, Jas wondered what would have happened if he didn't have that independence and how it would have affected the bond he had formed with Les'ika. He was certain that if he had been developed with a lesser free will, he would never have taken the time to really look at her and see that she wasn't a material object he was ordered to retrieve and protect.

Because he could think outside the conventional borders, he was able to see her as the human she was, the gentle girl who lived a life of safety and comfort that most beings only dreamed to experience. And, he knew that it wouldn't be much longer before he would be sending her back to that existence, saying farewell to her and ending a special moment in his life that had somehow changed him.

Setting the helmet onto the ground now, Jas glanced at Les'ika, realizing that he had no idea how he wanted to approach the subject of their time together coming to its finality. They weren't even supposed to have grown close, especially not in the manner that they had, and Jas knew that he should have prepared for this separation better.

It was inevitable that they couldn't stay together, but he just could not deny the comfort he felt while in Les'ika's presence. He knew he would never have that kind of blind acceptance from anyone else—especially a civilian—again. Why Les'ika trusted him the way she did, he'll never understand, but he was ever grateful that someone outside of his tight-knit circle of brothers had.

Jas indulged himself for a few minutes with just watching Les'ika and taking at the moment, as he knew that he would never be able to develop such affections for anyone else. Even if he would ever chance upon another woman in his short future, he honestly didn't want to develop this kind of attraction again. He knew he would not connect in the same way that he had with this princess, and he couldn't imagine that there could possibly be anyone else in the entire galaxy like her. It didn't seem possible that there would ever be another woman who exhibited the same kindness and consideration towards him and his brothers.

Jas found himself suddenly thinking about how Zech had called Les'ika's mother unique, but Jas came to understand that Les'ika was the most unique being he had ever encountered. She was a contradiction like he had never known and for as much as he wanted to protect her, he wanted to give her everything she would ever need to be free. He wanted her to see how she was strong and intelligent, and that her sheltering had only delayed her chance to experience life, not extinguish it.

Jas contemplated whether he should say something or touch her as he saw that she had remained silent, seeming to be deep in thought. However, he decided that he would just leave her be for the moment and take in his own memories while his eyes moved about the way the sun touched upon the wild, brown curls that spilled around her back and shoulders. The natural light gave her hair a highlighting of hues that he had never seen before, and some of the strands that covered her back were streaked with a shade of red so dark it blended seamlessly into the brown. Jas suddenly wondered if she was even aware of the colors in her hair and that when the sun struck it how this kind of hidden brilliance shone through.

Swallowing hard, Jas pushed aside the thought, conscious of how close that related to Les'ika as a person. She had stayed hidden for so long that those closest to her couldn't even find her anymore, and none of them dared to try finding the treasure that was right under their noses. Sadly, it took the likes of a cloned man who only knew how to fight a war to discover the true woman who was hiding in plain sight from the rest of the galaxy.

Not looking over yet to Jas, Arlesse was aware that he had finished his silent conversation inside his helmet. She had taken the time while he was busy earlier to position herself so that her legs were bent toward her chest and her arms were crossed over her knees. She now rested her chin upon her crossed arms and simply studied the greenery around her. She watched the birds flying above, and she tried to find the small creatures that continued to rattle within the bushes and scurry the leaves. The only time she ever came so close to so much wildlife was in her garden back at the palace, but even there everything was cultivated and tamed.

The trees in the expansive garden were of a breed that would not grow past a certain height, and the shrubbery had been trimmed back regularly so that everything stayed within its predetermined spacing. Despite the limitations imposed on the wildlife in the garden of her father's palace, however, it was vastly beautiful, and for that, she had no complaints. It was full of colors and scents, textures and shades.

In the spring and summer, the garden was a rainbow of every hue in the spectrum and it was filled with an intoxicating blend of sweet, floral aromas. In the season of autumn, when Tochin went through an abbreviated cycle of hibernation, she would walk amongst the falling leaves, finding an odd satisfaction to the crunching sound they generated beneath her feet. Tochin never produced a winter so she had never seen snow other than in holos or read about it in her flimsi novels. Because of the lack of a winter season, the end of autumn would bring forth the new buds, as nature cycled through rapidly on her world.

Thinking about it now, Arlesse came to realize that the garden was a place where she spent most of her time, simply enjoying the peace it provided. It was where she could lose herself in the flimsiplast stories of adventure and excitement, stories about heroes and opportunists. They were the stories that drifted her away to other worlds, other places that didn't exist. She sometimes felt like she was a witness walking through those stories, connecting in emotional ways to some of the characters, and she always read them with bated breath, hoping that the ending would be as happy as she could imagine.

Some of the tales ended tragically and those always left her daydreaming about an alternate ending. She remembered reading once a story where the hero died in a blaze of glory to save the lives of the unusual group of beings he had befriended. Other tales concluded with an ending that left her content, with a desire to reread the story again for the joy it had brought her. One of those stories, in particular, was about a young and humble shopkeeper who had fallen into a multitude of romantic misadventures until he learned that he was the heir to a fortune that had been stolen from him when he was switched at birth.

Reminiscing now about some of her recent exploits with Crimson, Arlesse wondered if there was ever a chance that someone had written a story about a situation like the one she was within. She tried to speculate the possibility that there was a tale somewhere about a princess like her who wasn't a strong heroine but had the opportunity to encounter a brave warrior like Jas, and how they both discovered an attraction that they shared while surviving their adventures.

Then, she dismissed the thought quickly as she realized that sheltered princesses and heroic clone soldiers weren't something anyone would want to read about. Honor and chivalry were forgotten terms in the realm of her father's court, and she believed that the rest of the galaxy probably wasn't much better with displays of honor.

Raising her eyes up, she looked to the endless ceiling of the blue sky, watching the treetops sway lightly. The scene above almost reminded her of paintbrushes touching upon an empty azure canvas, swirling white clouds into the infinite distance. Her own world—this moon of Tochin—which she had never been able to explore so liberally, was wild and free in ways she only dared to dream about. She understood now that there were no rules for colors to be in a certain range or for shrubs to be forbidden to extend past their borders. Nothing was expected of the life around her, nothing beyond just being. This moon's nature lived in its own rhythm and harmony, never being suppressed into any kind of frivolous restrictions or laws that were created solely because of someone's foolishness.

"How am I supposed to go back?" she asked softly, not exactly a direct question to Jas but simply venting out loud to the life around her.

Jas tried to follow her eyes, straining to see what he couldn't beyond the forest and the sky and realized that he had been wondering the same about his own life. Resolving instead to look at his armor, he decided it was easier to think while looking at something familiar than the expansive world around him. Silently, he also had questioned how he was supposed to return to a life of war and just forget the emotions that he had developed for a woman who left him starving for her touch and kindness.

"I don't know," he answered quietly.

Arlesse turned now to Jas, watching as he flexed his fingers in his glove, seeming to look at the armored shell around the back of his hand like it was some kind of alien skin.

"Don't worry about Zech talking to you," Jas told her as he dropped his hand back to his lap and abruptly changed the subject. He needed to quickly get back to facts and reasoning. Thinking in factual terms was the only way he could get on with telling her that sooner rather than later, they would be apart. "He's been sedated, and when he awakens, he won't be able to talk."

Arlesse silently studied Jas, afraid to ask what exactly Crimson had done. However, after a moment, she decided that she would accept the actions that Jas' brothers took with Zech. She knew that she would not have been able to dissuade them otherwise, and it was obvious that the less Zech said to her, the less she would have to listen to whatever twisted words he would try to influence on her.

Jas took a long pause before telling her the rest of what Gath had told him, again building his resolve to face the fact that their fantasy that was about to be destroyed. He was foolish to have ever thought that feeling affections for her could be turned off like the switches inside his buy'ce. "Mouse is working on fixing up a communications device."

Arlesse sighed with understanding and then spoke softly. "That means I'm almost home now, aren't I?"

Jas nervously scratched the back of his neck, realizing that when around him she had proven that she was sharper than she gave herself credit to be. "Mouse is good with stuff like that. It probably won't take him all that long, maybe a couple hours."

Picking at the frayed edge on her skirt now, Arlesse closed her eyes softly and breathed heavily for a moment. She thought about the brave men who saved her life, and despite their unconventional ways of dealing with their situation, they were never less than noble with her. Opening her eyes, Arlesse smiled wistfully. "I'll never forget you, or any of your brothers."

Jas' eyes dropped suddenly, and he caught himself strangely nervous as he tried to rub out one of the carbon scoring marks on his wrist gauntlet. After a futile attempt, he realized it was one of the places where her hand had touched upon him, and he was trying to remove a mark she had clearly traced only a couple days ago with her small fingers.

Feeling like a lost child suddenly, Jas told her softly, "I won't forget you, either."

"Going home doesn't feel right," she breathed quietly, eyes blinking hard against whatever it was that caused her to hesitate in her thoughts. "It..."

Jas looked to her waiting for her to finish, but she attempted to make her words remain a mystery. Her long pause extended, and Jas couldn't stand the confusion she had just reaped. He needed clarity and needed to understand why she suddenly felt that her home wasn't the place for her. He needed to be certain that he wasn't returning her to further danger. "Isn't that where you belong?"

Arlesse smiled in a depreciating way and shook her head as though trying to forget whatever it was she had initially planned to say. However, the words fell from her lips before she could stop them. She felt as though she was revealing even more of her weaknesses, but in Jas' presence, it became more of absolution to her failures than admittance of her faults. "If by 'belong' you mean because of my title and status that I need to live there, then yes. But, you know that I've never learned to play political games, and you saw how Zech practically shredded me with his words. Sadly, that kind of malicious attack is how my father's court can be sometimes."

"But, you told me that your father does all he can to keep you from harm," Jas gently argued.

Arlesse closed her eyes and swallowed hard. When she opened her eyes, she caught Jas' irises with her own. "He does, Jas, but there's no place in the royal court for me. Friends are something I've been denied for most of my life. Udi was the last person I really confided in, and I've been without her for a few years now. The servants can't look beyond my title, and those with titles think my father is weak for having raised me as a normal child instead of as his heir. Papa broke the standards and expectations of what a royal successor is supposed to be. By allowing me to step down from my royal station and giving me the choice to elect my cousin to my duties, it rejected me from my peers."

Shaking her head now and feeling that pain in her chest that she often felt for her father, she softly said, "The truth is that they punish Papa for being a father, and they try to make it my fault. That's really what he protects me from."

Jas felt his fist clench suddenly, wishing for some way to keep her from going home. Unfortunately, he knew that such thoughts were impossible, and it would only lead them into trouble that neither of them needed. Execution for desertion wasn't exactly the way to help her. Instead, he said, "Your father sounds a little like Gan. He didn't care what was expected of him. He did what he felt was right."

Arlesse now chewed on her bottom lip for a moment, thinking about everything she had been through as well as the newfound emotions she shared and how she knew she had to discard them as though they never existed. She was afraid of what everyone in the palace would think of her and her father now that she had developed a fondness for a Republic soldier, a man who was so cheated out of life that to even hold her hand was considered a crime. She knew that if the Tochin nobles ever found out about her affections for Jas, they would have even more fuel to throw at her father.

In her usual and quiet way, Arlesse would continue to protect her father because she knew that the nobles didn't always think of him as strong. He consistently put his concerns for his daughter first, and it was often frowned upon. Arlesse now understood was why there was a squad of specialized soldiers protecting her. They were here solely because of her father's demands, not because of a vote that came from the entire royal congregation.

Closing her eyes, Arlesse fought to suppress the burning in her eyelids from the tears that were trying to form there. She tried to reason that it wasn't sensible to be so distraught over this man that she barely knew. Jas wasn't supposed to be anything more than a soldier in a squad who was assigned her retrieval from a kidnapper.

If the nobles who called him a flesh droid were supposed to be right, he wouldn't have been able to be so kind and gentle with her. He shouldn't have been able to feel the similar emotions that she felt and share them. But, nothing could change how they had developed compassion and an attachment to each other. Knowing it was all about to end broke her heart in a way that hurt more than any rejection she had ever received from any member of the royal court.

Opening her eyes now, Arlesse knew that she would never be able to look at the men in the Tochin court with the same respect and affection that she once thought she had for them. The way Jas looked at her and touched her could never be replicated by anyone else. He had no connection with her politically and no wants to gain any kind of status. All he wanted from her was what she was willing to share with him, and that made her want to give him everything.

"Will you..." she paused, making certain that her eyes were locked with his, letting Jas see how much he meant to her. "Will you stay with me, until you no longer can?"

Jas saw the concern in her eyes, the compassion that he knew he was never supposed to know. It was this part of her that he could never resist, and how he had managed to do so for an entire day, he'll never understand. Why he had pushed her aside then made no sense to him now, and he was angry with himself for having wasted countless hours avoiding her and all she wished to share with him. He saw so clearly how Les'ika cared for him and how she had developed compassion for a soldier who was never given a choice in the decision that his life was to be nothing more than an instrument to fight a war.

Kneeling before her, Jas took Les'ika's hands in his and stared into her blue irises, finding everything in them that the Kaminoans denied him from ever knowing. She was innocent and kind, compassionate and gentle. He could clearly see that she had developed a deeply embedded sense of trust and faith in him that he had not ever known from anyone before. No matter how much he and his brothers trusted each other, what she revealed to him was different somehow. It was intimate in a way that he could not entirely comprehend; however, he experienced it instinctively in a way that made him strangely feel...whole.

Forcing the curious emotions aside, Jas told her, "When they order me to stand down, I have to obey, but until that moment, I promise that I will stay right beside you."

Suddenly, angry voices carried through the forest and the sound of a scuttle broke through the silence.

"We need to get back," Jas told Les'ika as he helped her to her feet and grabbed his helmet while she took hold of the blanket from the ground.

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