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Sobbing Silently

If Cody could describe Obi-Wan, he'd call him a wordsmith, but if he couldn't, then he'd define him as a man in control of his emotions, his strengths and his weakness.

Cody had hardly seen him worked up to a raised voice and rarely heard his voice drop low in anger. Even when Skywalker spewed his hate at Obi-Wan, he never retaliated; the only sign that it affected him was the stiffness that developed in his shoulders.

Cody would be reading out the list of the fallen, and sometimes, when his voice started to go or wobble, Obi-Wan would rest his hand on his shoulder, a sad smile across his face, eyes a little cloudy. Cody would watch as the man continued the list, praying to the Manda to allow the fallen soldiers easy passage into its warm lands.

He'd read these lists, hundreds of words long, thousands of numbers who never stayed long enough to work out their name, his eyes misty but never falling. He'd go around the vode, sharing their sorrow at the fallen comrades. Obi-Wan would give the vode a shoulder to cry on, running his hand down their back or neck in whatever way helped them grieve.

Cody watched as Obi-Wan worked his tongue, bartering for crates of ceremonial candles designed to burn for hours, even in the harshest environment. Saw him pack bags and bags of ration packs, enough to source a vod for months, and never say a word when they disappeared, only signing off the death list with slightly clearer eyes.

Obi-Wan would spar for hours with the shinies too young to wind down from a long battle. Cody would fight next to Obi-Wan and tend to the wounds the man hid once the shines had all worked their adrenaline off. He'd never snap or say a thing when the young shinies hit harder than they should have or aimed at a weak point.

Cody would explain to those young shinies how Obi-Wan was helping them in a way they shouldn't expect from others. He'd help them control their adrenaline so that Obi-Wan did not have to make time to tend to hundreds.

Cody watched Obi-Wan grieve when Skywalker said the little Ahsoka had disappeared while they were caught on the front line. The man even checked in with Rex, knowing the vod had a closer connection to the little padawan than maybe necessarily allowed.

Obi-Wan sent the whole 212th to deal with the island where the little padawans were trapped. Cody watched as Obi-Wan wrapped Ahsoka in his arms before smiling and telling Skywalker to take all the little padawans off the world.

Cody listened as Obi-Wan sent out the order of "oya'karir" to all the vode on the land, sky and seas. And they did, turned hunter to prey, hunted them down with the ruthlessness of a strill, chased them right to the world's edges.

Cody knew the second they spotted the man who caught Ahsoka, Obi-Wan's whole body tensed, and the man froze like a deer in speeder lights. Obi-Wan ordered the rest of the vode off, keeping the man in his sights, Cody stayed, knowing, deep down, he needed to watch what was about to happen.

Cody frowned as he was handed Obi-Wan's lightsaber, clipping it to his belt automatically as the man knelt on the floor, flicking his finger, the cuffs clicking open and echoing amongst the trees. Cody heard Obi-Wan's word, just one single word enough to terrify even a grown man, "run", and the coward ran. He ran as if his life depended on it, and it did; Cody didn't know what would happen when Obi-Wan caught the man, but he knew he had to see.

Cody had counted to ten in his head when Obi-Wan leapt to his feet, moving swiftly through the forest, branches moving away without a single touch, feet falling as silent as an owl's wing beat.

Cody watched, and he saw the beast beneath the flesh, the strength behind the robes. He watched as Obi-Wan made it into a geroya, a game of playing with the man. Catching him, hand wrapped around his neck, restraining him to the trees and stone before letting him go, watching the hut'uun run.

Cody watched as Obi-Wan continued the game until the man was jiriad faced, begging to know why he was singled out like this.

Cody heard what Obi-Wan said, but he spoke it with such a bite it sounded like both a threat and a promise, "jurkadir ti". And that is all they did; they messed with the man until his chalky face turned white, his eyes dulling like a man who heard they had been sentenced in front of a firing squad.

But Obi-Wan never hurt him, not even a single scratch. Cody watched as he cuffed him back up, ordering an evac for them. If Cody hadn't been there, he would have thought the same as the vode in the gunship, that he'd just had a strong word with the man, enough to strike fear.

But Cody knew otherwise; he saw Obi-Wan use his body and presence as a weapon, his words — scarcely used — but as sharp as an obsidian blade. He was in awe, yet terrified of what would happen if this man wasn't on their side. If that was only a fraction of his power if he dropped his Jetii rules, Cody understood how one Force-user could flatten an island, how an army of Force-users could rip apart worlds.
Cody realised why the Jetii were one of the few groups that didn't develop a hunter companion, like the strill the Mandalorians had; they didn't need it. The Jedi were hunters, and they were scarily good at it.

So when Cody learned that Obi-Wan had been killed, a single bolt straight to the heart, he couldn't believe it. The vode thought he was handling his grief poorly, but he knew Obi-Wan wasn't that weak; he knew in a hunt that the man was untouchable. So, when he learned that this sniper of Concord Dawn had escaped from his cell within hours of arriving, he knew, deep down, that Obi-Wan was alive. 

He tried to stop Skywalker from tracking the sniper, but like a strill, he had caught the scent, and nothing would hold him back from getting his prey.

So when Skywalker stormed up to him, furious, demanding to know why *he* knew that Obi-Wan was still alive, hiding behind the face of the sniper. He smiled and explained that he knew because Obi-Wan was too stubborn and strong to die that way. It didn't calm Skywalker, but it got him away from the grieving Ghosts and 212th.

When Obi-Wan returned, face shaved, looking so much younger but more aged than Cody had ever seen him, Cody stayed with him. He remained as the man tried to catch up on his work; Cody felt like there wasn't anything affecting the man like he thought there would be until he realised he hadn't heard a second stylus against a datapad for a while. Looking up from his datapad, Cody saw Obi-Wan's shoulders shaking, the man's shaky hands holding onto his face.

Cody knew when Obi-Wan realised Cody saw him. The man straightened out, wiping his hands against his face before picking up the datapad and stylus, forcing the hands not to shake. Cody got up, putting his datapad down. He walked around the desk, pulling him close and tucking Obi-Wan's head against his chest. He held him, even as the man initially tried to pull away.

He rested his head on Obi-Wan's as the man's shoulders shook silently. And Cody realised.
Obi-Wan's strength, his skill with words, and never showing his weakness weren't something he'd mastered willingly but something he'd been forced to learn.

And Cody swore if he found who caused Obi-Wan to learn to cry silently and never show weakness, he would break them, the same way Obi-Wan went for that hut'uun before killing them — not caring if he just promised to hunt and kill a Jedi because Obi-Wan was a Jetii and should have been sheltered from the harms of the world the same way he tried with Skywalker and Ahsoka.

And Cody's priority changed; no longer was it just winning this war for the Republic. He wanted to win so that Obi-Wan could learn to be weak and that weakness wasn't bad.

So the next time Obi-Wan offered to read the list of the fallen, when his voice wobbled, he shook his head. He continued to read, even when his voice broke, and his tone was hardly more than a whisper. He saw the confusion on Obi-Wan's face, how he showed his weakness willingly.
He made a statement about how it was okay to show weakness around those you trusted.

And the next time Obi-Wan broke, he didn't fight Cody when he pulled him into a hug. He heard his whisper, "why did we push her away?" and his prayer to The Force to protect little Ahsoka as she started her newest chapter.

Cody hoped, after the war, Obi-Wan would feel comfortable enough to make a sound as he cried.

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