"Dear child. I see your eyes. You already know the truth. Whomever you're waiting for on Jakku... they're never coming back... But... there's someone who still could." -Maz Kanata

Leia's greeting reached Ben's ears through the inky blackness of the dank, musty cell as he sat with his back up against the concrete wall in the farthest corner. He enjoyed the darkness and the ability it gave him to not be seen, yet when it was his mother seeking his presence he slowly rose to his feet, teetering slightly. One shuffled boot in front of the other his pale face was the first thing to be seen by Leia's eyes. He emerged out of the blackness like a grumbling bear returning to the world from a deep slumber.

His mop of hair dragged over his face, sticking up in random directions. Bits of it too began to grow across his chin, upper lip and down his jawline from being unkempt, making him look even more roughed up as well as his scar that ravaged it's way down his eye. Leia ground her teeth lightly in aggravation, the elderly skin along her brow bone drooping slightly as she narrowed her eyes. She didn't narrow them out of disdain but more so of pity. 'All of the unimaginable things he must have been put through...' Her frown creased her chin and the skin between her gray brows.

Ben looked passed his long lashes at her, knowing full well what she was thinking. Reading her face far better than Han ever could, he could see the pain and sadness.

"I don't need your pity."  He about spat venomously, crinkling his nose in disgust. His anger ebbed and flowed like the tide, coming in waves. Ben's height towered over Leia, so she had to look up through the slits of the door to see his face. The white artificial light reflecting off of his dark irises that trailed along her anxious features.

Leia's glance flickered to the floor, merely ashamed he could read her so easily, taking away the pride she usually felt when others couldn't. He always could, it only reminded her how long it's been since she's spent actual time around him. Just being in his presence made her chest swell with anticipation and surprisingly pride. Pride that he's lasted this long and how much her son has grown. He was a man.

Loss is the side of love they never warn you about, or at least that you wish to forget until it's too late. In that moment of loss, the moment Leia sent him away and he became the thing she dreaded, her world collapsed - where there was light became shadows, the pain came and went like waves on frigid sand. Though her mind called out for his the connection was gone... he was gone... and finally she knew that her time to be alone had come.

Then she once again threw herself into her work. Building the Resistance from the rubble of the Rebellion, just as she was now. He scowled at her, remembering all the times he thought about her before she only became a distant memory for a long time. In quiet moments she came to him, ghost-like, a shadow of who she was. When Ben was calm the specter is kind, she laughed and he recalled the times he felt like she loved him. But always there is the knowledge she might have never did. She and Han gave him away like he was something they were glad to be free of, not caring how his story unfolded. In that cold stare, in the salty breeze that afternoon on Ahch-To, she bade him farewell more coldly than a stranger and that's when Ben knew. If you feel it you can't hide it, but if you don't you can't fake it. Perhaps some can, or think they can. Not that he needed to look hard. Her face seemed passive, untroubled at the parting. After all those years he expected more. She fought harder to keep Han home, she would get more upset whenever he would leave. So why did she still haunt him? At some point, he wanted to forget her but apparently, that wasn't his lot in life, because here she was once again.

"Ben..." She felt as if she was talking to a complete stranger, not even speaking his name in years. Only in dreams, memories. Now in these past few days, she's said it more than ever, and it felt good. Leia didn't even know where to start, did she ask him the questions she's been dying to for years? Tell him it's going to be okay? That he's not alone anymore? She's imagined this confrontation a million times over these past 15 years, yet now that she stared up into his eyes she was almost at a loss for words.

"I've missed you." She said finally, letting out a sigh. The light in her eyes returning with a happy twinkle as her face lifted.

Ben's face contorted into confusion as he remained conflicted. His mouth creased into a grimace, now he almost pitied her. How could she still love him? How could anyone? Convinced he didn't deserve it he shook his head slightly, astonished by her words. "No," he muttered, "you shouldn't- I..." His tongue suddenly grew dry and knotted itself in his mouth, his brain just refused to comprehend words. She needed to let go. He'd never be the same, he's changed for sure but he can never change back. He didn't deserve redemption.

"I can feel you trying." Leia deadpanned, looking up through the slits at his face as he ground his teeth in nervousness. His eyes didn't meet her's, they refused to. "You're clinging to your grief as if it were a lifeline, Ben. Are you so..." She stuttered fighting for the right words, "in love with it that you won't ever allow yourself to live again?"

His eyes flickered across her face, her delicately placed silver hair and deep purple robes. He attempted to hide his guilt and fury but it was almost impossible, he was angry at himself, at the people who had hurt him, at the people who he knew would hurt him in the future or even kill him, he was angry at the world so angry he could just throw his head back and scream. Scream until there was nothing else to scream about, just sit in the back of this damn cell for the rest of his days until he simply turned dust. Ben's heart drummed a furious ballad against his rib cage, rattling his bones in an annoying way. Why? Why couldn't she understand? He's killed so many- too many people. Men, women, children. Fathers, brothers, sisters, and mothers. Families. Just like he destroyed his own. On purpose.

"I deserve my grief, I deserve every..." He bit down hard, his jaw shivering, "ounce of pain. I do."

White knuckles from clenching his fists too hard, and gritted teeth from the effort to remain silent. His huge hunched form exuded an animosity that was like acid - burning, slicing, potent.

Leia's hand twitched, wanting to touch him. She placed a hand on the cold door. "It's okay to be angry, Ben." She explained, "you...you have plenty to be angry about." She couldn't help the chuckle that left her lips. "I failed you. So did Luke." She wet her lips momentarily while gaining her thoughts. Her mind was like a room filled to the brim with puzzle pieces and only a few were in place but the rest were just thrown askew without a care.

"So did Han." He muttered to himself, but she heard his negative remark. Another tinge of sadness chipped away at her heart at the mention of his name. No, he wasn't the perfect husband or father but she believed he still deserved more than he got in the end. "Ben..." She warned, her eyes growing stern.

He almost couldn't believe it. "You seem to cling to his memory with more passion and love then you had for him while he was still alive!" He raised his voice suddenly, startling Leia slightly. She was silenced into shock as he huffed, unable to deal with his stagnant anger any longer. He started to move about in the cell, even with the confined area, he paced.

Leia took a deep breath, shoving down her arguments in Han's defense. Remembering the reason why she was here, sticking to the mission at hand. She ran a frail hand over her forehead, "Ben...yes, you've done awful things. But we all have- maybe not to the same extent but the light in you is still there, I can feel it. So can Rey."

He bristled at her name. Bringing back the anger and conflicted thoughts. "I can't-"

"Ben, if you've got the guts to meet your own eyes in the mirror each day than you've got the strength to cross back over that line. To come back, to us." Leia about snapped, her voice clipping. "To me." His eyes met her's finally. He squinted at her through hardened eyes that once had been her salvation, but now they brought only the unfounded accusations. Those deep pools of dark earthy brown swirls were simply chilling. Every muscle in his face was tense and without a word, he communicated intense mistrust, anger, despising. Not for her, but for himself. He hated himself more than anyone ever could hate him. He was his own worst enemy. She was right, he could go back, yet the only thing standing in his way was him.

Silence slipped in between them like an old friend, pulling them apart as each of them was trying to come back together. Of course, one was more hesitant than the other.

"It's...easier to be angry." His voice cracked briefly, his eyes watering to the brims. "It's hard, once someone has adopted a mask...to give it up."

Immediately Leia's reaction as any mother was to console him, "I know, Ben. It's hard to let go, but please for your sake and mine, try." Her hand dragged a little ways up the door, the tips of her fingers almost reaching the ends of the slits.

Ben's eyes flickered to her arm movements as he noticed her hand on the door. Due to the darkness, she couldn't see, but she heard the shuffling of the metal and his wrapped arms. He had put his hand to the door. Leia smiled, a tear finally let loose to meander down her cheek, making its way down her small wrinkles taking away a streak of powder.

Ben wanted to hold her, he wanted to touch her hair or even just stand in front of her without this door and Leia could sense it. "Don't try to open the door, it's ray shielded. Once you step out you'd be shocked with enough juice to down a rathtar." She chuckled lightly.

'Oh,' he thought to himself. Just a simple and short thought, he liked it. Yet he didn't like the whole shocked to death scenario. He took a long sigh through his lips, racking his shoulders causing his other hand to shake as he formed it into a fist.

"I'd like to have this conversation without a door between us." He said, his voice regaining its usual strength. He blinked hard, attempting to extinguish the salty tears.

"Well..." Leia let out an annoyed breath, eyeing up the door, "I don't have the clearance codes for it." She said irritably, clicking her tongue on the roof of her mouth.

Ben actually let out a light chuckle, bringing surprise to her face. "Strange." He looked about his cell for a moment before looking back down into her eyes, "aren't you the General around here?" He asked, his voice a bit snarky as a wry but small smile came upon his face. He looked like Han in that moment more than he ever to Leia. Her lips turned into a mock expression of irritation, "Usually, but Poe is being a bit of a..." She searched for the right word, looking at the ceiling briefly.

"Of an idiot?" Ben filled in quickly, his eyebrow arching up.

"I was thinking headstrong but that too at times." She laughed, "believe it or not he reminds me of you sometimes." Her mouth quirked into a mischievous smile, knowing full well that would irk him. Though it was true, Poe had more in common with Ben then they would ever care to realize.

His lips wrinkled up, "don't insult me to my face." He remarked, his brows creasing.

"As we established a moment ago, there's a door here, so." Leia and her son shared a laugh for the first time in a long time. To long. The tension in the air seemed to lift, allowing each of them to breathe.

"Is that why you keep him around?" He asked, his inquisitive face only slightly shown.

Leia's eyes shown confusion for a moment before she got his meaning, "no...he's a great pilot and a great commander- captain." She corrected quickly, shaking her head.

"Demoted?" He asked.

"Yes." Nodding she took a glance down the hall momentarily before boring her eyes back into his.

"Well indeed, he does sound great." He ground out a twisted smirk while shuffling his feet uncomfortably. His boots were beginning to hurt his tired feet, and his clothes smelled of sweat, blood, and dirt. He internally begged for a shower, his scalp itching with a thin layer of grime.

"Leia!" Suddenly a deep voice broke out through the hall, followed by many heavy boot steps slapping at the floor like a herd of thundering horses charging at her. Rey trotted passed rows and rows of doors shrouded in black, as she approached Leia she noticed the door that stood in front of her. Nothing was different about it, for Ben had backed away from the light as she and Poe approached. It was if a dark sheet covered the slits to conceal a beast inside from being looked at or it peering back out.

Ben lips quivered in unsuspected nervousness, his chest tightening at the mere sight of her. The sound of stretching leather met his ears as he realized the deathly pressure in his fists. 

"Poe," Leia took a calm step forward with an air of assuredness with an even voice, "open this door." She all but asked nicely.

"No can do-"

"Dammit Poe. Open this door." Poe took in a quick breath, like taking a shot of firewater her sharp tone and words stung momentarily before he took a step towards the door.

He hesitated, "Leia, we can't trust him."

"No one can!" A hoarse voice barked from a little ways down the hall. Ben recognized that flat, bitter noise anywhere. Had Hux been listening this entire time? That bastar-

'Are you even sorry?' A feminine voice sprung out suddenly in his mind, sticking out from his own racing thoughts like a sore thumb.

His boot took a jutting step back in utter surprise, his heart palpitating quickly in a short burst of fear. He recovered within seconds but to his surprise, he didn't hesitate.

'Yes.' His mental voice replied to Rey's solemnly.

He raised his head slightly to lock eyes with the bitter looking brunette from what he could see of her through the slits. Her face was scrunched up into a disapproving scowl. Her razor sharp eyes bore into his own, which was odd, she couldn't actually see him. Yet he was taken aback to see her staring straight through the bars at him. Straight through the darkness. He took a side step to see if her persecuting eyes followed. They did. It was as if he was standing in a crowd filled to the brim with people, yet she stood tall and pointed a finger, picking him out easily.

His heart continued to beat so loud he was sure they could hear it through the cell door. Rey's face turned from a scowl to quizzical, no doubt wondering if she could actually trust him, all the while Poe and Leia bickered about his freedom.

"Rey..." Poe turned to her as if she had his backing on whatever he was talking about, she wasn't paying attention, just staring at the door in a curious way. "Hello...?" Poe attempted once more to get her attention, waving a tanned hand in front of her face.

"Let him out." She murmured just above a whisper, her eyes flickering to Leia's momentarily before gluing back to the steel sheet of metal that separated them from a mass murderer.

"What?" Poe asked, genuinely, not even hearing what she had said. Leia's lips cracked open into a small, knowing smile.

"Let him out," Rey repeated more sternly than intended, her eyes reaching his as his face morphed into one of surprise.

"We can't just-"

"I'll keep an eye on him. Poe, he saved me, and he could possibly save the whole Resistance with the information he holds about the First Order. Let's give him a chance." She explained. It was reasonable to be sure but downright crazy, in Poe's eyes. The pilot couldn't see the reasoning with harboring an evil murderer in their midst, but he was even more surprised that he was even considering opening the door.

Before he knew what he was really doing he was typing in the code for the key-pad. A small, low beep resided inside the system before the ray shield was disabled. The door opened with a creak due to the rust grinding against the steel, revealing only darkness. It was almost inviting, maybe even more so if the room was empty.

Poe stupidly pondered if they had been standing outside the right door or not, for it seemed minutes had gone by before the sound of shuffling boots set him on high alert. That was until his head was smashed against a concrete wall.

Poe's throat wheezed as it felt like it would cave, his vocal cords collapsing in a fit of absolute pain. It felt like a raging fire had bloomed in his chest, lapping up all of his senses at once. His left leg twitched uncontrollably out the sheer shock.

"Ben!" Leia shouted as his arms whipped out from his side forcing Poe into the air to hold him against the opposite wall with a sheer menacing look. Oh, only if they could kill.

Ben's dark brown eyes were drowning in red, his cheeks rimmed with dark, purple circles. He might be the type to keep his problems to himself, but he can't hide his outward discomfort or utter anger, or the toll all of this aggression is taking on his body. His large, wrapped arm was shaking as it stretched outward with his hand making a motion as if he was physically holding Poe's neck, and life, between his gloved fingers.

A familiar flicker of anger ignited in Rey's stomach, and she turns her head to meet him, taking in his bloodshot eyes and the exhaustion lining his features. Fear lit up her light own eyes as she looked from Ben to Poe a million times in a matter of seconds trying to quickly decide how to separate them.

"Ben, let him go!" Leia yelled once more, but to no avail. Ben tightened his hold, the leather of his gloves squeaking quietly in protest. Leia knew it was hopeless for her to physically try and stop him due to his sheer towering size, even if he was weak at this moment.

He began to take careful steps, threatening steps towards Poe. As if he were dangling the mere possibility of him surviving this encounter in front of his face. Rey stood there and watched helplessly as her feet remained glued to the floor, her jaw slacked open in shock of what could possibly happen.

Ben approached struggling Poe as he squirmed against the wall like a snake trapped under a boot. Strange noises and grunts escaped his lips but no words came out whenever he tried to make them, Ben silenced them before they could even leave his throat. "If you ever pull something like that ever again, I will make you witness the very thing you fear most over and over again until you won't even have the power left to scream out for help or pain or anguish or to say goodbye to the people you love because the last face you will ever see will-" Ben's voice halted as a strange sensation came over him. A wave of exhaustion yet power and fury, it crackled through him like a bolt of lightning, sending a fuzzy sensation down from his toes up to his fingertips. His heart jumped in his chest, pounding even harder as his lips trembled slightly. Slowly, he turned his head to look a ways down the hall.

A light fixture flickered as the white, ghostly glow basked a hooded figure in a pool of frosted light. It didn't move, it made no sound it merely seemed like a spirit here to haunt him. The sounds of Poe struggling to breathe refused to meet his ears as he retracted his arm, releasing the focus he had on him. The sound of fabric scraping against the wall came to Rey's ears as she ripped her gaze from the figure in the hallway as well to see Poe fall from the air and hit the floor with a thump. He gasped greedily for air, desperately trying to see his surroundings, blinking rapidly. Leia rushed to his side, resting a gentle hand on his back after kneeling to the ground.

Ben took a hesitant step towards the figure as if stepping out onto a frozen pond. Testing the waters, to see if the ice would web with cracks before you'd fall through into the frigid depths. The brown cloaked figure at the end of the hall began to move, revealing pale hand to gingerly pull back the fringes of the hood that shadowed his face.

Ben sucked in a quick breath, not even realizing he had stopped breathing. All noises and sensations became obsolete to him as he took in his bearded features. The wrinkles that covered his face, the same judgmental eyes, and pain wreaking from his very being. It was like a vexing of the soul for what Ben felt was not human, it was twisted and distorted but it was something strong. It burned so bad like fire lacing his veins and creeping up his spine, his skin was a sore looking red but all he could feel was desire; desire to hate. He was intoxicated with emotion he had no intention of ever feeling, the acidity of it was residing in his stomach waiting to be spat out of his mouth in foul and vulgar words he would be stared at for saying, except he wasn't going to say them, Ben was going to screech them with every ounce of breath that dwelled in his lungs.

"You..." The simple word was drawled our menacingly, his lips and nose wrinkling up into a snarl as he bared his teeth. Ben's boots stomped against the floor as he made his way over to Luke.

"Ben-" Rey began to call after him before his back was already turned and retreating from her reach. He halted mere feet away from the old man.

"You failure, you thief, you LIAR!" Spit flew as he roared, his fingertips itching for his lightsaber but sadly there was no weapon to grip, it being taken by Poe before he had him locked away.

Luke just stood there, watching the hurricane of anger and conflicted emotions known as his nephew boil to the breaking point in front of him. A trickle of sweat ran down Ben's temple, trailing to his chin only to be licked away. His eyes were those of a madman's, red-rimmed, glassy and wavering. His huge figure that was normally intimidating, especially cloaked in such an ominous way, was shaking abnormally. His exhaustion and weakness were sorely evident to Luke as he looked him up and down with his usual judgmental glint in his penetrating gaze. That just set Ben off even more.

"Finally decided to crawl out of your island squabble?" His voice trembled as he mocked, "I've waited a long time coming for this reunion with the legendary Luke Skywalker!" Ben said, a sick smile cracking his face like a torturers look once he's decided on his new victim. He laughed slightly, eyes boring into Luke's, "you coward..."

Luke tilted up his head toward the light, the shadows concealing his face melting away like dark wax. His face was grim, creased with anxiety and weakness yet a mysterious determination lying under the surface, he let out a breath. The sigh was resigned and weary. It signaled the end of deliberate effort and the beginning of passive deterioration. It was a sigh so quiet that it went unnoticed, it's sound and it's movement dissipated out into the vastness of the world and made no effect at all.

"I failed you, Ben." Luke brought his electric blue eyes to his nefarious nephews, sadness coating his features, "I'm sorry." It seemed genuine.

"I'm sure you are!" Ben screeched, baring his teeth as his hair tussled in front of his eyes. Rey's ears popped, wincing she brought her hand to her temple as Ben took a stomp forward.

"What?" He almost chuckled, a sound of choked air releasing through his lips. "Are you here to save my soul?" He said, almost completely forgetting the small progress he's made that day. The understanding he's seen in his own mother and the possible forgiveness and redemption he could achieve.

"No." Said Luke, his grating voice spoke out. He sounded as if he had completely given up on him, just like that night. Luke remembered Ben as a young boy, how innocent and kind he was. He was gentle, he was worth knowing. Yet now, after his corruption, Luke never believed he could turn back. He was gone. All these years he had blamed himself for the loss of his sister's son, even if she blamed Snoke and not him. All because he was Luke Skywalker. He couldn't deny the fact that he had failed his family and led this boy down a dark path of pain and deception. Luke has held this heavy weight on his shoulders for years, sending himself into exile because of it. This was all of his faults.

Ben pinned Luke with a cold stare, and Rey couldn't decipher if she was seeing him or Kylo Ren. She couldn't let him fall back down this mountain he's climbed, he finally had a foothold yet now he was slipping.

"Ben!" She cried, "Don't do this." Her face was stern, filled with determination.

He looked back at her then. Rey was almost startled by surprise that his eyes weren't darkened by utter hatred but they looked as frightened as a clueless child's. His face was drowning in sorrow yet a spark of strength within let him stay strong that moment longer before he turned back to the old, robed man.

"Tell her." Ben said slowly, jabbing an index finger in Luke's direction, "tell her what happened that night!" He shouted somehow with his whole body, desperately trying to make everyone understand. His chalky face gaunt and immobile, the fists trapped in his thick gloves clenched with blanched knuckles and the nails digging deeply into the palms of his hand.

Luke knew exactly what he was referring too, unfortunately. The night on the island. The night his life spiraled into chaos, by his own mistake.

Rey's palms were clammy before she wiped them on her thighs, and keeping a ready hand near her lightsaber hilt. Licking her lips anxiously she waiting on the tips of her toes for Luke's reply.

"Ben..." He said weakly, trying to diverge the subject.

"NO! NO- SAY IT! TELL HER!" His scream tore through Leia like a great shard of glass. She felt her eyes widen and pulse quicken, her heart thudding like a rock rattling in box. He seemed so...human. More so than he ever has. Less of a monster now even while he was spitting threats.

Luke's sad gaze tore away from Ben's and bored into Rey, his attention shifting. 'Finally' Ben's mind cried victoriously. They would finally know the truth.

"Rey," Luke spoke almost to softly to hear, "whatever Ben has told you is the truth." He knew Ben wouldn't lie to her, assuming he has already tried to use every tool in his collection to persuade her to his side of things, including his origin.

"No-" Rey immediately croaked, stepping forward as Ben turned his back on Luke to face her, "No, he's a liar!" She tried to yell but it died even before it left her mouth, leaving her voice to crack. Her vision seemed to have blurred. It felt as if two cold hands had grasped tightly around her throat, enveloping her in darkness. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she held Luke's guilty gaze, ignoring Ben's presence.

"No Rey, I am."

Her heart shattered. Could she trust no one?

"I..." Luke began again, "I had a lapse of judgment. An unforgivable one. I tried to kill him, Rey." He attempted to explain. She didn't want to believe him but she did. The truth was ugly as it stared her in the face, its blue eyes piercing her through. He was admitting this horrible act as if it were no big deal as if he hadn't tried to kill his own nephew, yet she could see the guilt and pain in his eyes. She could feel it.

Her eyes shifted to Ben. He didn't smirk, nor look triumphant yet he simply stared at her with a relieved look. As if her learning that he wasn't a liar removed all of his troubles in life.

Rey's gaze shifted as she turned to look at Poe and Leia. She had a pale face and her mouth was covered by a firm hand. Her eyes wide with an emotion she couldn't read. Then it was as if time slowed. Rey backed away from them, not wanting to believe a word of it. Betrayal causing Rey's lips to curl and her nostrils flared. Her mind felt as if lead were coursing through it instead of blood. Her once positive memories of Luke now felt as if they were tarred, disfigured into something grotesque. She kept her gaze off him, she couldn't bear to look his way, because if they made eye contact she thought she might vomit. Disgust. Total disgust. Her mind numbed over, heart beating loudly as her feet gained use once more and before she could even comprehend it, she was stumbling backward. Her sight grew weary as a coat of water seeped through, her emotions getting the best of her. Allies and enemies seemed now relative terms for these people. Turning her back on all of them, she picked up speed into a run toward the lift, she desperately needed air, feeling as if she were choking. Yet, another set of steps came after her.

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Sorry for the long chapter guys! xD Please let me know what you think!