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Force jump

Ima burd. Ever wanted to say that with truth in your voice? Well now you still can't! Because even if you buy this product, you still can't fly, and are human. But hey. Doesn't everybody want to be able to jump and do backflips even though you are an old guy wearing a cloak? Use this product to reach the top shelf of the cupboards for the peanut that lies there! Warning, not to be used on or by children. If one where to use it on children, there will be severe neck breaking and if used at un mature age, might break backs. Buy for only 19283746564372819.3 pennies! But wait! There's more! If you call now (March 5 12:30-12:30.5) you get a free wallet! Only 465738 pennies to buy this free wallet! We hope you called! If you didn't then when this ad is gone there will be a bounty droid on its way to your current location! And trust me, we know who is watching or not.... You have 5 seconds to call! If you have no phone then we will have a Jedi knight himself slaughter you! Tick tock! You have 5 seconds!

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