You-sa In Big Doo-Doo Dis Time
A/N: The addition of the cat emoji (🐱) in the part separator indicates a change of POV.
Sand.
Lots and lots of sand.
I can feel the dry, powdery substance all over my body, getting everywhere. I remain still and unmoving, in case of any danger hovering above. I crack one eye open, expecting to see blue skies and scorching suns native to every desert planet.
Instead, I come face-to-face with a grinning, green-skinned Klatooinian. "The female human is awake!"
Wha-?
"Oy, Sebulba! Fancy losing to another human again?" Another alien taunts as the Klatooinian jerks me to my feet. The revving of engines stir in the background, crude and cocky unlike the ones of a starship.
"Vayai mudde, punde!" A Dug in a podracer, most likely the Sebulba in question, yells back in response to the alien's taunts.
The Klatooinian pushes me towards a worn, dusty podracer positioned in the horde of other podracers-
Wait. It's a podrace. What am I doing here?
"The Hutts are sponsoring for you, human. Make sure you finish the race and beat the crap out of Sebulba's wrinkly ass."
He shoves me into the podracer but does not stop talking. Each word is encouragement doused in warning, as if I should be grateful for the chance to participate in a deadly race, and should make the most of it so that the Hutts do not lose betting money.
"And if you think you can fly off-course to escape, you will find that you are dead wrong," he pauses to giggle at his terrible pun, "because of this." The Klatooinian points at an explosive strapped crudely on my forearm.
"Also, we have your other half, so you have no choice."
Other half? He means Haris, does he not?
Confusion must have been scrawled all over my face, for the Klatooinian pauses to stare at me in amusement. "Any questions, human?"
I look down to blink at the selection of buttons and levers on the control panel. I turn my head to face the Klatooinian. "Where am I?"
"Tatooine. You arrived just in time for the Boonta Eve Classic. Some years ago, a human also beat Sebulba in a Boonta Eve Classic. Jabba's looking forward to seeing that happen again."
Me? Win a podrace?
"Bright new day on the Mos Espa circuit, folks! Tatooine's two suns are high in the sky, and it's time for our racers to dominate or die!" A commentator's rounded voice booms, and I swivel to see a two-headed Troig alien positioned in the commentator's box, overseeing everything.
The red head speaks Galactic Basic. And the green?
As if answering my query, the green head then tweaks his mouthpiece before relaying the same message in Huttese.
"Nouvelle journée ensoleillée sur le circuit Mos Espa! Les deux soleils de Tatooine sont haut dans le ciel et il est temps que nos coureurs dominent ou meurent !"
The crowd is thrown into a frenzy, hooting for their favourite racer as the Troig heads begin to announce every single racer on the track.
"Our reigning Tatooine podracing champion, Sebulba!"
"Notre champion en titre de podracing Tatooine, Sebulba!"
The cheering reaches its peak, with the Dug raising his skinny beige arms in the air and nodding at the accolade.
I blink at the Klatooinian, pointing at Sebulba in his custom orange podracer. "Jabba the Hutt is betting on me to beat him?"
The green alien nods enthusiastically. "Of course. What better way to make the Boonta Eve Classic unique! Especially when it's the talk of the galaxy that the Galactic Empire might be pressing down on podracing soon, with Emperor Palpatine at its helm."
The Galactic Empire? What Empire? And since when has Senator Palpatine become an Emperor?... Order 66... something must have happened...
"What happened to the Galactic Republic? Why is there an Empi-"
I am cut off by loud feedback of the arena's sound systems as the red head leans forward to speak once more. His beady eyes are fixated on me.
"I'm Fode and this is Beed... and it looks like this year's Boonta Eve Classic has another late entry. A human participant."
"Je suis Beed et voici Fode ... et il semblerait que le Boonta Eve Classic de cette année a une autre entrée tardive. Une participante humaine."
The green head, Beed, mirrors Fode's expression, glaring cautiously at me. Fode clears his throat, waving a hand at the crowd below.
"What do you think, folks? Can she beat Sebulba in the race, or perish in the Mos Espa circuit?"
"Qu'en penses-tu, les gars? Peut-elle battre Sebulba dans la course ou périr sur le circuit de Mos Espa? "
The crowd goes wild, yelling in Galactic Basic and Huttese and all manner of languages. Some think I have a pretty good chance, while others want my insides splattered all over the arena. Judging by Fodesinbeed's faces, I would think that they want the latter.
A procession of aliens bearing colorful flags begin to march across the arena, directly in front of where all the podracers are positioned. The crowd's cheering diverts to the flags instead, hollering for their favorite.
The Klatooinian pokes me in the shoulder. "Don't worry about Fodesinbeed. He's just worried because the last time a human won, he got accused of rigging the race."
I nod, then a thought hits me. "Where is Haris?" When the Klatooinian frowns in confusion, I hesitantly clarify. "My... other half?"
The Klatooinian points over to the tunnel where he had ushered me from. "As far as I know, he's still out cold. If he were the one to wake first, he would be the one podracing instead of you."
Wow. Lucky me.
The tall green alien starts up my blue-and-silver podracer's engines. The second the purple energy beams pulse to connect the two engines, he gives the podracer a pat on the side. "Destiny's Favourite, this one is called. Used by the legendary Anakin Skywalker when he defeated Sebulba many years ago."
Master Skywalker's podracer?
"You have to race for three laps around the circuit. Try to stay alive," the Klatooinian reminds me, as if I could finish the race with a crushed skull. He pulls both my hands to place them on the two protruding handlebars of the podracer. He then waves and leaves, joining the Hutts on a raised platform that oversees the entire arena.
The flag procession completes their course around the arena, clearing away space.
Without warning, the other podracers take off, each set of engines having its own unique sound.
"And the race begins!"
"Et la course commence! "
I crane my neck down to see the controls, my fingers racing over the variety of switches and buttons.
The controls of a podracer cannot be much different from that of a starship or any flying mobile. You can do this.
I flip a switch, and the engines blaze up, ready for work. I grip the handlebars of the podracer and push.
VOOOOOM!
"A late start, but the human finally gets the controls and is zooming at top speed!"
"Un début tardif, mais l'être humaine comprend enfin les commandes et effectue un zoom à toute vitesse! "
I catch up with the others on the rocky terrain, dead last, swerving left and right to avoid the random outcrops. In front of me, I can see the podracers slamming into each other, forcing scrap metal to scratch against hard rock.
TUM-TUM-TUM!
A green podracer smashes against a large rock, the engines twining around each other as the entire thing drops to the sand like a dead fly. One engine rips free of its wiring, an eye out of its socket, hurtling towards me.
How to lift this thing how to lift this thing I am going to die the engine the engine the engine -
I yank the handlebars up, my podracer narrowly dodging the lost engine, swerving ahead to overtake three other competitors. I force the handlebars lower, maneuvering the podracer just above the carnage of jostling podracers below.
Up ahead, the terrain narrows to a single opening into a canyon. Flicking another switch, I boost my engines and zip past more competitors, soaring straight into the canyon.
Master Skywalker is a truly incredible Jedi to have built this all by himself.
🐱☆☆☆🐱
Loud cheering blasts my ears from the moment I come to. I choose to lie still, ascertaining the situation around me before risking to alert any being around me that I have regained my senses.
"Look at that! The human dodged the Tusken Raiders' potshots! Not bad at all for a beginner!"
"Regarde ça! La humaine évita les tirs au but des Tusken Raiders! Pas mal du tout pour une débutante! "
My eyes flash open at the bilingual commentary. I notice three aliens of differing races standing in front of me in what seems to be the mouth of a tunnel, but they do not take heed of me.
Huttese. The second voice was speaking Huttese. We have crashed on Tatooine, home to the Hutt clan.
Sand sifts through my fingers as I move to one side, searching for Jo as more commentary pours in from outside the tunnel.
"Jo, kau di mana?"
"Astounding maneuver! And in Anakin Skywalker's old podracer, no less!"
"Manœuvre étonnante! Et dans l'ancien podracer d'Anakin Skywalker, rien de moins !"
I pause in the sand as the familiar name is spoken. Slowly, my gaze shifts to the mouth of the tunnel, where the aliens are undoubtedly preoccupied.
Anakin Skywalker?
I rise to my feet, creeping towards the three aliens and peering through the gaps between them. They ignore me, their focus entirely pinned on the screen broadcasting the podrace.
An entire arena of sand spreads out before me, filled with multiracial spectators. Above my left, I see Jabba the Hutt presiding over the race, his slaves scuttling around behind him, tending to his every need. I see the Troig in the commentator's box, merrily dishing out commentary.
And at last, I train my eyes on the footage onscreen, recorded live by several camera droids around the circuit. I notice a pod, one silver and blue, flying haphazardly, as if it is afraid to take damage. Its racer has human body proportions, fair skin, and black hair.
Is that...?
The camera droid filming the particular course zooms in right at that moment, and I stare in unbidden shock.
My Wildcat is risking life and limb in a podrace.
🐱☆☆☆🐱
"It is the final lap; all our racers have to do now is cross the finish line!"
"C'est le dernier tour. Tout ce que nos coureurs doivent faire maintenant est de franchir la ligne d'arrivée! "
I grip the handlebars tighter to swerve as yet another podracer smashes into an outcrop and bursts into flames, shrapnel slicing through the air.
Only three more left in the circuit.
I sweep above the wreckage, hovering right before I lock on the dirty cheat of a racer I have to take down.
Sebulba.
My hand swipes across the controls, doubling the effort of the engines. I brace, tipping the podracer forward. The podracer dips dutifully, accelerating in a downward arc, heading straight for the rocky terrain.
Three.
The podracer plummets to the ground at an alarming speed, whipping up dust.
Two.
The ground prepares to swallow me up, my podracer ceaseless in its efforts.
One. Now!
I jerk the handlebars, leveling my podracer to the ground. The rear of Sebulba's garish orange podracer leers at me, but I stay focused.
Sebulba's attention is entirely fixated on the maroon podracer beside him. His podracer whittles it mercilessly, forcing it against the rocks. The maroon podracer is already sparking, signifying its imminent doom.
I zip around a rock as a Tusken Raider potshot hits the maroon podracer. It bursts into flames, and even Sebulba pulls to the side to take cover. I duck another potshot, stepping up the game as I zoom out of Tusken Raider territory.
The main arena is in sight, and with it...
The finish line-
VOOOOOOOOOM!
Engines roar behind me, and I whip back to see Sebulba to my right.
"Punde!" He yells, clearly furious. I try to look offended, although I never learned Huttese and have no idea what he just said. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him holding out a thin, cylindrical object.
A flamethrower.
Sebulba spurs his engines on, moving further ahead of me. I make to speed up my engines too, but I catch the sleazy grin on his face and realise his scheme.
He's going to hurl that into my engines.
I rush to spin my podracer aside, but the Dug is too quick. With a wink, he casually tosses the flamethrower back, its arc just right to fall into my right engine.
No!
On impulse, I flinch, mentally shoving the flamethrower off its course. It hits the side of my engine and bounces back. The cylinder smacks Sebulba on the head, causing him to steer his podracer off the course.
I rev up the engines one last time and race into the arena. The flamethrower explodes behind me, but I do not look back.
Almost there...
I wrench down the handlebars, almost jumping up from my seat as the crowd screams itself into a frenzy and the finish line draws closer. All at once, thoughts burst into my head, soaking me in adrenaline and regrets.
Master said not to use the Force, that was her last message. Reveal yourself to be one with the Force, and Sith will cut you down. And I did just that...
I soar past the finish line.
The cheering reaches a maximum, and the Klatooinian scrambles over to help me out of the podracer. "You have done well, human," he says, patting the podracer at the same time. He strips the explosive off my arm, and I nod at him.
"Jo!" A whirlwind of grey sweeps me in a hug. I pull back, fingers digging into Haris's elbows as I stare up at him, my eyes haunted.
"Ris, we have to get out of here."
A/N: After one month, I finally pulled through to finish this chapter. We have at least one part and one epilogue left. Fingers crossed that I'll be able to finish this during CNY holidays!
Btw, this part sucked, as you can tell and I got stuck writing it halfway. On to the gallery:
This is a Klatooinian. I'm not sure if this particular one works for Jabba, but there are Klatooinians who work for Jabba.
Fodesinbeed Annodue: Fode and Beed, the two-headed Troig commentator. He also did the commentary during Anakin Skywalker's Boonta Eve Classic, where he was accused of rigging the race and was chased by an angry mob.
Podracer: Those two yellow thingies are the engines.
Boonta Eve Classic: An annual podrace hosted by the Hutt family to commemorate the Boonta Eve holiday. One of the most popular podraces in the galaxy.
Sebulba: Popular podracer. Dug species.
Okay, I'm done. Back to writing the next part!
Scarlet.
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