"Hoshi, p-please be ok." Saki's voice whimpered, but strangely, her voice sounded distant.

Am I dead? Is this what happens when monsters die? Suddenly, I became aware of my strange lack of pain. The dark pool of magic inside of me felt minimal, but at least I had some. I could feel my power diminishing; I knew the danger as well. That dark energy is my life force; I don't have much time left. I hope Saki found a safe place in the town; I'm not going to be able to help her anymore.

"I've done the best I can," a strange voice spoke, sounding closer and less echoey than Saki's voice.

"Will he be ok?" Saki's voice seemed close, almost as if she was speaking a few feet away.

"I've done the best I can, but I've never tried to help a monster before. The voice paused before it continued in a soft voice I somehow still heard, "it's strange, especially with the war and all."

"He's not one of those monsters; he's different." Saki sniffled, "Hoshi saved me and has been trying to care for me. He even protected me from the bird monsters when they attacked me."

Why did I do that? What kind of monster am I?

A traitor... that's what I am.

I defied Master's orders; I failed.

Why am I still alive?

Why shouldn't I just die?

Because you are needed.

I paused, unsure if that last thought was mine or not. Suddenly, I had the strange urge to wake up, and my muscles slowly responded to my will.

"Hoshi!" I felt something halfway wrap around my neck as I slowly rolled off of my size and onto my stomach.

"You should have just gone to live in that city," I say as nausea and soreness slowly returned, though not to the extent I remembered from before. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at Saki. "Your eyes are leaking again."

"I didn't want to leave you." Saki sniffled and wiped her tears with her sleeve, "I'm scared, what if monsters destroy this town too? What if they come for me because I'm the last one from my village left?" She hiccuped, then buried her face in my fur with renewed sobbing.

My ears flattened as the strange feeling rose inside of me, and I suppressed my desire to puke.

A third person hummed slightly to herself, then spoke, "if you feel that guilty, then perhaps you are redeemable after all."

My head immediately looked at the speaker, the owner of the strange voice I had heard while I was still semi-unconscious. My body tensed as I stared at the green-cloaked Stellan wearing a broad-rimmed hat instead of the traditional hood, though she wore the cape every other Stellan I had ever seen wore.

"That is not the kind of gaze I would give someone who patched you up and saved your life." The woman crossed her arms, her off-white hands buried beneath her green sleeves tipped with reddish-brown triangles.

I snorted, then looked away and mostly relaxed, but I was still rather annoyed, both at her and my pain. Suddenly, I paused as I realized my left wing no longer hurt more than the rest of my muscles.

How? I rotated my previously-injured wing in its socket but felt no pain other than slight soreness.

"You're welcome." The older Stellan brushed aside a strand of white hair out of her face and tucked it beneath her hat.

I huffed, then noticed a bit of dark magic rising out of a hole in the ground just under my paw. I must have missed some of the magic from the largest bird. I greedily absorbed the magic to replenish my supply; I immediately felt better. My muscles were not as sore anymore. That will last me the rest of the day, though I doubt I have enough to last me until morning.

I stood, then looked down at Saki, "now, you can live here." I turned to look towards the forest.

"Wait!" Saki jumped onto my tail and hung onto it. "I want to stay with you! You can protect me from the monsters!"

"Are you willing to learn magic?" I paused mid-step and turned my neck towards her. "If you're going to be with me, you need to be able to defend yourself." My voice remained firm and unwavering. I hoped she wouldn't pick this option, as I still wasn't sure I would live to see the morning.

"Why don't you both stay the night on my property?" The older woman suggested., "curfew is only a few hours away at sunset. The monster can stay in the barn as long as he doesn't eat or kill anything, and Saki, I can supply you with supplies and an outfit proper for traveling. Yours is already in rags."

Saki paused, then released my tail, but kept her eyes on me. "That sounds like a good idea, but only if Hoshi promises to not run away during the night. You better be there in the morning."

I scowled as the "guilty" feeling washed over me. "If it gets you to consider staying here, fine."

The woman nodded, "Hoshi, keep your head low in the grain fields. Thankfully, I live alone outside of the main part of town, and I'm not expecting any company until noon tomorrow." The woman offered a hand to Saki with a small, reassuring smile.

"Ok..." Saki accepted her hand but watched me as she walked behind the older Stellan woman.

I sighed, then kept my head low as I followed. At least this is in the right direction of what I want, though I have no idea what a 'barn' is.

I followed for a while as we continued to walk down the path between the forest and the field.

Suddenly, we stopped, even though we had not yet reached a building. The old Stellan looked left and right, then motioned for them to follow her. "Quickly cross the road before anyone comes around the corner." She rushed ahead, at least as fast as her old bones could carry her.

Saki quickly followed, and I remained behind her, though my sore muscles screamed in pain, the woman's pace was no more than a slight jog for me. I crossed the uneven dirt road, then ran into a field of tall green plants with broad leaves. Hair-like tendrils from bulb-like protrusions attached to the plant's single stalk tickled my nose, and I resisted the urge to sneeze.

"Not much farther." The woman promised as she led Saki and me through the long, perfectly straight rows of plants. After a few more moments, we emerged into a clearing of short grass illuminated by the orange glow of the setting sun. A red wooden structure connected to a large fenced field sat on one side of the clearing with a stone building on the other side. "Let's get the monster to the barn first; then we can go inside."

"Does Hoshi have to stay in the barn all night?" Saki asked. "Why can't he join us in the house?"

"He's too big for my quaint little farmhouse," the woman assured with a gentle voice, "but the barn has heat lamps; he will be safe there."

Saki slowly nodded as we approached the red building as the woman undid the latch. "Here we go," she pulled one of the wide doors open, then entered with a wave of her hand for us to follow.

Non-monstrous animals whinnied and moaned in fear at my arrival, but I paid them no mind as I followed the white-haired lady.

The woman calmed the animals in a gentle voice, and they ceased their cries, but I suspected they were still a bit scared.

The old lady adjusted her hat as she stopped in front of a large empty stall with dusty thin yellow things all over the floor. "When I had chicks, I kept them in here, but you can sleep here. It already has hay in it." The woman opened a stall door, then hit a switch on the wall. The lamp dangling from the ceiling flickered to life as she pulled a rope and raised the red light to where I could fit beneath its warm glow.

Saki weakly tackled me and wrapped her arms around my neck. "It's not bad in here, and I'll be back first thing in the morning to check on you. You better not be gone because you ran away in the middle of the night. I'll hunt you down and make sure to stick to you like a flea!"

If I'm still alive, I will be here. The "guilty" feeling washed over me once more. "Don't worry about me," I stated as Saki released the hug. Once freed, I calmly entered the stall and laid on the crunchy dried grass. The warm lamp above me felt pleasurable against the unbandaged parts of my body. This barn isn't a terrible place to die. It's warm and comfortable.

Saki watched as the older woman closed the door to my stall. "Don't worry," the woman assured the child Stellan as the grown person took her hand and lead her down the hall and back out through the doors.

Though I had a feeling Saki watched me as long as she could, I refused to even think about giving her a parting glance as I settled down beneath the warmth of the heat lamp above me. I closed my eyes and succumbed to a sleep I assumed would end with my death.

Pain consumed my body, but I didn't wake up. Is this how death feels? I didn't fight the agony, wishing death as two mental voices, both mine, fought in my head without a victor.

You're a failure! An angry voice snarled loudly in my head. You had one job! Kill and destroy! Yet you disobeyed and helped the enemy! It would have been easy to kill her! One swipe of your claws and there! Dead! You've killed before; you've even killed Stellans before! You should have killed her!

But you didn't, a soft, barely hearable voice rang in my mind. It wasn't right. Why do we need to fight the Stellans? The slightly higher-pinched voice lacked the grovel of my real voice and the darker voice.

They're the bad guys! The loud voice roared! The monsters that betrayed Master! They deserve to be slaughtered for what they did!

Maybe Master is the bad—

SILENCE! STOP YOUR DOUBTS! You are defective! A real monster wouldn't care! You're defective just like Stellans! If you go to Master, he can fix you! Then you can go back to doing what Master made you for, killing!

I'm defective...

The pain strengthened to the point I wished death would arrive.

Just like Stellans...

I'm defective...

"Hoshiryu!"

Author Notes!

I just realized that I am evil with this chapter. At the beginning there is the joy that Hoshi is alive, and then he's going to die again by the end of the chapter.

Whoops.