Two bus rides, one ferry ride, a trek through a mountain pass, and a banca ride got us to a deserted sand bar.

"Ang layo naman ng paradise, uwi na lang tayo," I murmured as I squatted on the fine white sand. Tirik ang araw at malakas ang hangin. May ilang isla sa di kalayuan ang makikita.

"Do we swim?" Si Yellow na nakapamewang at nakasimangot na rin sa di kalayuan.

"He'll be here any minute." Ali said as he walked to the edge of the sand bar. The water lapped at his shoes.

A white speedboat came into view. Buti na lang din kasi nakakapaso na ang init at wala man lang ni isang punong masisilungan dito sa sand bar.

"Just in time." He walked over to the speedboat and pulled the ladder down.

"Kuya." Nakipag-fist bump siya sa lalaking nagmamaneho ng speedboat.

"Akala ko bukas ka pa dadating."

"Nah. We had it rough but it's okay now." Binalingan niya kami. "Let's go."

Naunang umakyat si Yellow at sumunod ako.

"You!" Itinuro niya ang guwapong lalaking tinawag na kuya ni Ali. "Camera guy."

"Hey!" He grinned. "Long time, no see."

"You know each other?" Ali asked.

"We've met." Yellow said but didn't elaborate. She took a seat on the speedboat. Alistair gave me a hand and I climbed inside the boat. He guided me to sit.

"This is my kuya, Alejandro Zabala," he introduced us. Alejandro Zabala looked handsome in a rugged way. His hair is bleached and stood up in spikes. He also had a tattoo that covered his entire left arm. He had a devil-may-care air around him.

"Andro lang." He extended his hand and I shook it.

"This is Maria."

"Oh, THE Maria." He tightened his hold and gave me a wink before releasing my hand. Ano kayang ibig niyang sabihin?

"And you've met Yellow."

Andro grinned as he took her hand next. "Yellow?"

"Just Yelle," she said.

I felt Ali put his arm around my shoulder.

"Ready?" Andro asked to no one in particular. The engine roared to life.

***

I wrinkled my nose as we opened the hatch of the Bird. Kinailangan pa naming bumili ng bagong lupa at magtayo ng temporary warehouse para lang sa high-profile asset na ipinasa ni Jaguar.

"Eww..." Trixie murmured. Amoy panis na ihi na si Tiu. Tulog na tulog siya habang nakasako na ulo lang ang nakalabas at nakabusal ang bibig. "Kaya mo bang buhatin 'yan Icen?"

"Luh siya, siyempre hinde. Kaya nga nandito si Edge para tulungan tayo."

Pagkasabi n'on ay lumapit si Edge at binuhusan ng tubig si Tiu para gisingin. Nagpapasag si Tiu at isa-isa kaming tinignan nang masama. Kung nakakapatay lang ang tingin baka nasunog na kami. I have to admit, it could be intimidating if only he didn't have duct tape to cover his mouth and he didn't look like he rolled in a quagmire.

"Ewww..." Pinagpag ni Trixie ang kamay niyang natalsikan.

"Sus, dapat si Shan na lang isinama ko."

"Oo nga," pagsang-ayon niya. "Bakit nga ba ako nandito?"

"Kasi ayaw mo maglinis ng garahe? Huehue."

"Argh, sana naglinis na lang pala ako ng garahe."

"Shh..." saway sa amin ni Edge. Lumapit siya kay Tiu at walang alinlangan na binuhat ito at isinampa sa balikat. Dinala niya ito sa makeshift prison na bagong gawa sa loob ng forty-foot container van. Walang furniture sa loob ng kulungan maliban sa matigas na bakal na higaan, compostable toilet, at shackles. Wala ring signal sa lugar na ito at malayo sa kabihasnan. Nagulat pa nga ako at hindi pa isinagad ni Jaguar at nagpatayo ng secret hideout sa ilalim ng lupa. Well maybe one of these days.

We heard a few thumps, water running, and a few more thumps before Edge emerged from the van.

"Well I guess he's ready for us."

***

The island is pretty tiny and looked untouched by civilization, unless you were specifically looking for signs. We had to land the speedboat inside a very low ceilinged cave on the foot of a limestone wall. Andro turned off the engine and he and Ali used poles to move the boat and prevent it from hitting the sharp sides of the passageway. Andro looked like an expert navigating the tide coming in and the cave opened up to a larger gallery with a narrow ledge for us to climb. It reminded me of another spelunking experience which felt like a lifetime ago. It was the first time Ali and I met. The memory brought all sorts of memories back. Despite everything, the memories made me feel like smiling. I felt Ali squeeze my hand. He turned and gave me a wink.

Hindi ko naiwasang mapangiti. Now I'm back inside a cave with this madman who calls himself my boyfriend. Wow, progress!

After about ten minutes of walking in the near darkness we emerged outside a sunlit, lush bamboo grove. There was a spring bubbling somewhere. You can hear the sound of water tumbling over rocks. A gentle breeze brought the scent of the sea.

"Tara?" Tanong ni Andro na nauna ng maglakad. He picked a path among the tall grass and swaying bamboo.

I tugged Ali's hand and whispered to him,"matutulog ba tayo dito sa gubat?"

"Gusto mo ba?" He asked. It's difficult to distinguish him right now from the cold-blooded killer I've seen a couple of days ago. Somehow he is back to that taciturn guy I met in Sagada.

"Ayoko nga. Uuwi na lang ako."

Tinawanan niya ako. Yung nakakaasar na tawa. "Now where is your sense of adventure?"

I stopped walking. "I think I had enough adventures for a while."

He stopped and turned back to me. Probably sensing that I'm serious, he held both of my hands in his. "No darling. Life is supposed to be one hell of an adventure, or else what's the point?"

"I just want food, rest, peace and quiet. In that order." Gusto ko lang magpalit ng damit, magpahinga, at kumain. Gusto kong maramdaman na normal pa rin ako. The idea of food made my stomach grumble. Hindi pa kami nag-uumagahan at hindi naman ako nakakain ng maayos habang naglalakbay kami papunta dito sa... sa hindi ko actually alam kung nasaan kami. It's so hard not knowing where I am and what I'm supposed to do next.

"You'll get all four and more. I promise." Ginulo niya ang buhok ko.

"Ali, I also need to talk to my family." With those words his expression turned dark. Alam kong marami akong hindi alam at marami kaming dapat pag-usapan. I can't just sweep the problem under the rug and pretend that it doesn't exist.

"Maria, we will have that talk. But for now, trust me. We need this vacation."

***

"Welcome to Paradise, darling."

'Paradise' turns out to be a villa artfully concealed from the beach by a lush jungle front. Everything screams green. The house is a wonderful mix of wood and stone that melt back into the jungle that its almost impossible to distinguish where one ends and the other begins. The entire structure is off the forest floor by a couple of feet. The house redefined the word tree house.

"Come here." Ali reached for my hand and pulled me up. May mga duyang nakasabit sa isang malapad na sanga ng puno na nasa verandah. May mga puti at dilaw na bulaklak ang mga baging na nakapulupot sa sanga. Manghang hinaplos ko ang mga muwebles sa verandah na pawang gawa sa driftwood at mukhang walang mga pako. Niyakag ako ni Alistair sa loob at ang unang nakita ko ay ang higanteng puno sa gitna ng bahay. Ang palibot nito ay may hagdan papunta sa ikalawang palapag. Sa unang palapag ay naroon ang kusina at palikuran. Hindi kalakihan ang bahay, ngunit maaliwalas dahil sa malalaking bintana kung saan pumapasok ang ihip ng hangin. May parang glass na windchime ang isinasayaw ng hangin sa may bintana. Komportable rin ang sahig na gawa sa polished wood at may barnis. Gusto ko na lang maupo lalo na at ramdam ko ang gutom at pagod ng paglalakbay.

"I don't have a dining table here. Sa verandah tayo kakain mamaya," Ali explained.

"Ali, bubuksan ko lang yung genset," pagpapaalam ni Kuya Andro. Nanatili si Yelle sa verandah habang itino-tour ako ni Ali sa bahay.

"Sinong nagtayo nito? Ikaw lang?"

"While I appreciate your belief in my talents darling, I had locals from the mainland help me," he said with a smile.

"Nasaan ba talaga tayo?" he started to reply but I put a hand on his mouth. "At wag yung pilosopong sagot, utang na loob."

"Well we're off the grid. I can't tell you the coordinates or I'll have to silence you."

"Ali!"

Tumawa lang ang hinayupak at hinila ako paakyat sa pangalawang palapag. Kung tinotopak lang ako e baka tinulak ko na siya sa sobrang siraulong kausap.

"Here is our bedroom." He ushered me inside a cozy room with a queen-sized bed. The color scheme in the room is very male; dark blue and gray with silver accents. Pati sa loob ng kuwarto ay puno ng mga halaman—there are ferns and palms at mga orchids na nakasabit sa may bintana. Sa ibabaw ng kama ay may mga branches na may nakakakabit na fairy lights na akala mo mga alitaptap.

"Anong 'our' bedroom? Walang guestroom dito?"

"As if we haven't slept on the same bed," paalala niya. Jusko, uminit ang pisngi ko. Naalala ko na naman ang mga kagagahan na pinag-gagawa ko.

"The hell are you blushing for?"

"Wala!" Sabay talikod sa kanya. Lumapit ako sa bintana at sumilip sa view sa labas. I can see the beach from here. Malakas ang hampas ng mga alon at maraming mga puno ng buko at talisay. Parang nakakaengganyong matulog. I felt Ali's arms encircle my waist.

"Relax and forget the world for awhile, darling."

***

I could feel all the tension draining slowly from my muscles as I soaked on the hot water. Birdsong could be heard from the nearby trees and their shadows played on the surface of the bubbles. The bathroom didn't have an exhaust, the only ventilation are from the small windows and the spaces between the wooden beams that support the thatched roof. Pati dito sa loob ng paliguan ay may mga indoor plants at ferns na malamig sa mata. Masarap ang init ng tubig na sabi ni Ali ay galing sa bukal. Ngayon lang yata ako nakapaglaro ulit ng mga bula mula nang mawala ang mga magulang ko.

Kung nandito pa kaya sila, anong masasabi nila sa mga nangyayari sa akin? Ang ate ko, nag-aalala ba siya sa akin? Alam kong simula nang mag-asawa si ate ay lumayo siya sa pamilya pero naiisip ba niya ang kalagayan ko? Alam kaya niyang kinidnap ako?

Hinahanap kaya kami ng pamilya ko? Ni Ahma?

Habang dumarami ang oras kong mag-isa ay dumarami rin ang aking mga tanong. Mali yata na mag-isip ako kaysa mag-enjoy. Tama naman si Ali na kailangan ko ring mag-relax paminsan dahil pasasaan pa at talagang haharapin ko rin ang realidad. Baka ito na ang pagkakataon para makilala ko ang tunay na pagkatao niya.

"Maria, brunch is ready." Si Ali na tumawag sabay ng mahinang katok sa pinto.

"Okay sige," I called back. I drained the water from the tub and dried myself with warm towels. Dahil hindi naman kami tumigil sa dinaanan na mga bayan at wala akong dalang mga damit ay pinahiram ako ni Ali ng t-shirt, boxers, at shorts. Buti na lang at na-aadjust ang shorts pero malaki pa rin sa akin at umabot sa ibabaw ng tuhod ko. Lumabas ako ng bathroom at wala na sa kuwarto si Ali.

Sinundan ko ang mabangong amoy ng sinangag papunta sa verandah. Naroon na ang lahat at puno ng pagkain ang lamesa. May inihaw na isda, sugpo, sinangag, sliced fruit, pako salad, sunny-side up eggs at buko juice na nasa buko pa. Naupo ako sa isang maliit na rug na nakalatag sa sahig sa pagitan ni Ali at Yelle. Nakakamay ang lahat na kumain at hindi ako sanay kaya maliliit ang subo ko. Ang dalawang Zabala ay parang nagpapaligsahan sa lakas kumain.

"Huy, huminga ka naman." I nudged Ali who stopped chewing with his cheeks puffed up like a squirrel. He glanced at my plate.

"Nngnghmlm..."

"Ha?"

He chewed slowly and swallowed what's in his mouth. He got more food and offered it to me with his hand. "Open."

"I can eat," tanggi ko, but he insisted and I ended up eating what he offered. The juices of the shrimp exploded in my mouth, together with the rice and eggs.

"First time mong kumain ng nakakamay, ano?" Andro asked and I nodded. "Mas nakakaganang kumain nang ganito."

"I don't eat this way either, but a girl's got to eat," ani ni Yelle na nagbabalat ng sugpo. Mas malinis pa rin siyang kumain sa akin.

"Some food you really have to get in there and eat with your hands. Hindi kumpleto yung experience." Andro started peeling shrimps and putting them on Yelle's plate. "Don't waste the heads babe, the best parts are there."

Ali continued feeding me kahit umaayaw ako. Sa huli ay siya rin ang nasunod. Tumigil lang siya nang nagprotesta ako sa sobrang busog.

Pagkatapos kumain ay nagligpit na kami. Dalawa kami ni Ali na naghugas ng pinggan—hinugasan niya at pinunasan ko habang nagpaalam si Yellow na matutulog muna. It felt comfortable and natural to be doing something so domestic with him.

I feel sleepy after eating so I took a nap after washing the dishes. Ali said he will take a shower.

Nagising ako na hapon na base sa sikat ng araw sa labas ng bintana. Nakaupo si Ali na nakatagilid sa akin, sa harap ng maliit na lamesita kung saan naroon ang Mac niya. Pinagmasdan ko ang payapang mukha niya habang may tinitipa sa laptop. Medyo mas mahaba na ang kaniyang buhok kaysa noong huli kaming nagkita. Halata rin ang eyebags sa kaniyang mata. He looked thinner too, but lean muscles still displayed prominently on his arms and that washboard stomach.

I realized I was ogling him.

I also realized he was watching me ogling him.

Shit.

"Do you want to explore the island or do you want more rest?" he asked. At least hindi ako napahiya sa pagtitig ko sa kaniya. Pinakiramdaman ko ang sarili ko. Nakapagpahinga na ako at hindi naman ako gutom. Medyo masakit pa ang mga pasa ko dahil hindi naman gentleman ang mga kidnappers sa akin pero gumagaling na sila.

"Sige."

"Sige, ano?"

"Sige, let's explore the island."

He smiled and gave me a hand up. "Let's go catch dinner too."

***

Hindi nagbibiro si Ali sa kaniyang 'catch dinner.'

Nandito ako at nakaupo sa dalampasigan habang nags-spear fishing ang magkapatid. Hindi ko alam kung saan nagpunta si Yellow. I would have loved to have the female company, but she has been rather quite and if my instincts are correct she doesn't really like me. The reason for which I do not know. Ayos din naman dahil nakaka-relax ang simoy ng hangin at medyo matagal na rin ng huli akong nakapunta sa dagat. I also enjoy watching the two Zabala men catch dinner. Minsan lang ako nakakapunta sa mga bundok at dagat dahil mas gusto ng mga pinsan ko ang city life.

Hinubad ko ang tsinelas na pinahiram sa akin at tinabunan ko ang aking paa ng pinong buhangin. Hindi masyadong ramdam ang init dahil sa puno ng Talisay na malawak ang mga sanga at malalapad ang dahon. The wind carried Ali's laughter to my ears. He looked carefree here. No hint of the cruelty or deviousness that I've come to see from his eyes of late.

Natapos na siguro silang manghuli dahil umahon na sila sa dagat. Dala ni kuya Andro ang yerong timba kung saan naroon ang kanilang huli. Pinanood ko silang lumapit sa akin.

"Anong nahuli niyo?"

"Madami. Iba-iba." Ipinakita ni kuya Andro ang laman ng timba. Marami ngang iba't ibang isda na hindi ko alam ang pangalan. Nakakahiya mang aminin pero mahina ako sa pag-identify ng mga isda. Tilapia at bangus lang yata ang pamilyar sa akin.

"Linisan ko na para sa hapunan," paalam niya. Naiwan kami ni Ali sa ilalim ng puno. Nakiupo siya sa tabi ko.

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Ayos lang."

"Want to take a walk?" He had a serene expression on his face.

"Hindi ba natin tutulungan si kuya Andro sa pagluluto?"

"Nah, kaya na niya yun."

"Weh? O baka hindi ka marunong magluto."

"I do know how to cook." He had an indignant look on his face.

"Talaga nga?"

"Yes. Talaga. Tomorrow I'll cook you breakfast."

"Promise?"

I let him pull me up and I dusted my borrowed shorts. Alam kong mukha akong ewan sa suot ko, pero wala akong magagawa dahil wala naman akong dalang gamit. Kailangan kong magtiis sa maluluwag na shorts at tshirt ni Ali.

It felt good to walk on the shore. Palubog na ang araw at iba't iba ang kulay ng mga ulap sa langit. May kulay lila at orange, asul, at abo.

"Are you okay? How's Paradise working for you?" he asked.

"Relaxing. Hindi ko maalala ang huling beses na nakapagliwaliw ako nang ganito. Yung walang iniisip na itinerary. Walang magbabawal ng activities or iisipin saan kakain, matutulog, o sasakay."

"Good." He caught some of my hair and tucked it behind my ear. "Now you look like your age."

"Maka-age ka diyan." I punched his arm. "Bakit, mukha na ba akong manang?"

"Hindi naman. Mukha ka lang inaway ng mundo." I punched him harder and he laughed as he dodged my fists.

"Napaka neto." He caught my wrists and lifted me over his shoulder like a sack of rice. "Ali ibaba mo nga ako!"

I shrieked when he ran to the deep and drenched both of us in seawater. "Baliw ka talaga!"

I froze when he kissed me.

"Well darling, how many times have you jumped to the unknown?" his arms were around my waist as we floated in the water.

"Bago kita makilala, hindi pa. Since makilala kita, hindi ko na alam. Para kang great, big, unknown." I shivered under his gaze. "At nakakatakot. Natatakot ako kung saan papunta ito."

"Well I'll tell you a secret," his fingers lifted my chin. His thumb traced my bottom lip. "Before we met, I've always been the rational one. I always had a plan A, B, C, D—until the last letter of the alphabet." He sighed and closed his eyes. "But with you around, it's hard to think—heck sometimes it's hard to breathe."

I found myself tracing his lips. "I think you're bad for me, and I am bad for you. Eversince we met, it's like the fates are coming between us."

"You can't possibly believe in that star-cossed lovers shit because one, we make our own fates." He opened his eyes and pulled me close our noses are touching. Nahihilo ako sa sobrang lapit niya. "and two, we're not even lovers yet."

"Baliw," I whispered without conviction.

"We all have some bit of crazy inside. We need it to survive the harshness of reality."

"You always have an answer for everything." I kissed him. I felt him smile before he took control and deepened the kiss.

We floated in the warm waters until the first of the stars emerged from the bowl of the sky. The breeze picked up and Ali's arms around me tightened. We swam back to shore before we get too cold in our wet clothes. In fairness, hinintay niya ako kahit alam kong kaya naman niya akong buhatin kung nagmamadali siya. He put his arms around me to shield me from the wind.

Nakahanda na ang pagkain ng makabalik kami. We ran upstairs like kids and I slammed the door of the bath shut before Ali could enter. Hala, ano siya swerte?

In fairness, pagbaba ko ay nakaligo at palit na rin siya.

Ang sarap ng pagkaluto ni kuya Andro sa mga nahuli nila. May ceviche, inihaw na tulingan, at pako salad. Iba pala talaga ang lasa ng isda kapag fresh na fresh.

Pagkatapos ng hapunan ay nagyaya ng inuman si Yelle. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya nakakuha ng drinks sa isla.

"What's paradise without a little wine?" Sabi niya habang nagmi-mix ng cocktail. Iba-ibang alak at fruits ang pinaghalo-halo niya. Pagkatapos ay naglapag siya ng inumin sa harap naming lahat. Andro took a drink.

"Go on, drink," Andro urged me with a smile.

I sipped the drink. It was sweet and creamy at first before heat spread across my chest. Whoa. Masarap naman siya pero hindi talaga ako umiinom. "What's this?"

"That's a pina colada." Ali took my drink and downed it in one go.

"All that's missing here is some music." Yellow downed her second glass. Di ko talaga alam kung saan nanggaling yung mga wine. May portable bar ba siyang dala?

"No. You will scare the wild life away," Ali said in a flat tone. Yellow pouted and mumbled something.

Kalahati lang yung nainom ko pero parang nahihilo ako. I stood up and excused myself. I sat on one of the swings in the verandah to get some air. The drink made me feel hot and my stomach in a knot. Malakas ang tunog ng mga kuliglig sa paligid at panaka-nakang sumisilip sa pagitan ng mga ulap ang buwan. It is a waxing moon.

"Are you alright?" Ali asked as he sat on the swing beside mine.

"You've been asking me that the whole day." I answered with my eyes closed because the sky feels like its dancing.

"Well, I want to make you comfortable. In the beginning of this journey, it felt like there is this space between us and I didn't like it." I opened my eyes and stared at him. His cheeks looked flush but he'd just drank the rest of my drink.

"Sorry. Everything is just a mess. I have so many questions than answers."

"Go on," he urged me.

"Like, what's going to happen next? What's next for me? Pababalikin pa ba ako ni Ahma pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari?" I sighed. "Gusto ko bang bumalik?"

"It's up to you Maria. It's your life after all."

"You keep on telling me that it's my life, but one life is always connected to another in an endless web called family and friends. What happens to me creates a ripple around the threads around me."

"Is it always so bad, change?"

"I can't help it. This is how I was brought up."

"Good point. What are you going to do about it?"

I opened my mouth and closed it. Hindi ko alam ang sagot.

"Humanity has always survived because of our adaptability." Ali leaned closer to me and took my hand. "Life is not black and white, there a lot of colors in between. You don't have to choose one and stick with it, you can be many different things and still be the person you are.

Remember I told you that life is not just about existing in this earth. Life is about living. Life is experiencing the world.

Too much in your comfort zone can be a prison. You start being afraid of change. You start being tied down with too many what-ifs and doubts and questions. You overthink. Overthinking spoils life. It is a poison."

A/N:

I remember a night so many years ago when I thought about this last scene. It was back in November 2014 and I was lying down on the private boardwalk of Siargao Blue looking up at a sky shot full of stars while my kuya recovered from eating too much uni. I was nearing the completion of ISITL and preparing to continue SC, but other things happened too... and I guess it took very long for memories to resurface. It was a harrowing day. We just divided the job of twenty people between the two of us and we were both feeling sick and tired, but triumphant too because hey, it's not everyday you mount an entire marathon between two persons. It takes complete trust in each others abilities, and luck, and faith that God will make things alright.

It feels like an entire lifetime away. Life's lessons come to you when you are on the verge of exhaustion and still have the will to fight back. 

This was supposed to be a Christmas present to SC readers, but I guess it still counts because it's the Feast of Epiphany and it's the last day of the Christmas season. Yay! :D Thank you for reading this far.