"You're up." I couldn't stop the smile tugging at the corners of my lips. Napa-fist pump pa ako dahil sa excitement nang marinig ang balita. Finally, I got my first assignment.

The instructions were clear enough. Extract the package from the lab and bring it to the HQ for Shanvie to conduct her tests. The next part is much more complicated. I need to keep my eye on XH32 who is masquerading as a student here in UP Manila. The ghost unit Trixie developed just proved to be really efficient. She installed the surveillance system in Tiu's own cars yesterday habang nasa restaurant ang mga ito at nadistract sa biglang pagkawala ni 43. Whenever they use the GPS, we could ride in on its system and follow him and all the conversations he has while inside the car. Bonus pa na ginagamit niya ang bluetooth wireless system ng sasakyan sa pakikipag-usap sa mga contacts niya sa ibang bansa kaya maski gumamit sila ng secure line ay walang kuwenta dahil naiintercept namin ang lahat.

It wasn't hard getting into the lab. Ang mga pinto ay pawang nakabukas upang hindi ma-suffocate ang mga estudyante ng Bio habang nag-di-dissect ang mga ito.

"Ah, shit." Di ko napigilang magmura nang matignan ko nang maigi ang kasalukuyang specimen na pinag-aaralan nila. Sa dinami-dami naman kasi ng hayop...

No. Just no.

Hindi ako halos makakilos sa kinatatayuan ko habang pinagmamasdan ang kalunos-lunos na kalagayan ng mga pusa. Halos bumaliktad ang sikmura ko sa amoy. Kanina ay hindi ko pa masyadong pinapansin pero ngayong alam ko na kung ano ang dinidissect nila ay nasusuka ako. Bakit ang mga pusa pa ang napagdiskitahan nila? Napaka-cute at napaka-sweet nilang mga nilalang. Anak ng— paano nila nagagawa ito? Wala ba silang mga puso?

"Zebra. Move." Halos mapatalon ako sa boses ni Icen sa transponder ko.

"Anak ng talaba. Shit. Shit."

"Just do it, Zebra. Jaguar needs a full-report by dinner time." Lalo akong napamura. Kinuha ko ang bag at bahagyang binuksan ang zipper. Napansin kong pasimpleng nakatingin ang babaeng nasa parehong table sa kung anong ginagawa ko. Hindi ko siya pinansin at bumuntong-hininga ako bago silipin.

"Pusang gala. Tangina." Agad kong isinara ang zipper at dinampot ang buong bag. Naramdaman ko ang luha sa gilid ng aking mga mata habang binabagtas ko ang hallway. Parang bumibigat ang mga paa ko sa bawat hakbang. Ilang linggo ko rin siyang nakasama sa lab at tuwang-tuwa pa naman ako kasi ang dali-dali niyang turuan.

Magbabayad ang gagong gumawa sa iyo nito, Panther.

***

My agents fidgeted as I gave them the once-over. Mukhang napapadalas ang kain sa labas kaya nagiging complacent na sila. Sabagay, hindi pa naman talaga ganoon kadami ang naipasa sa amin na projects ng main branch dahil kaka-establish pa lang namin.

"Trixie, have you started training the boy?"

"Yes boss," she said proudly. "He is doing well."

"Send him to me later. We are going to make our first assessment on the Myght." Sumaludo sa akin si Trixie at hinarap ko naman si Icen.

"Icen." Napakurap-kurap ang assistant ko.

"Yes, Jaguar?" Kung titignan mo siya ay para lamang batang cosplayer na naligaw dito sa building. Nakasuot pa siya ng knee-high socks na striped at may disenyo ng pusa, Pusheen the cat na headset at malaking t-shirt na gray.

"What do we know?" Sumeryoso ang mukha niya at sumenyas sa akin. Binuksan ko ang pinto ng office ko at pinauna siya bago ipininid ito.

"The ghost system was successfully installed. We have bugs all over Tiu. Mas madalas na rin na magkasama sila ni Hernandez. There's something weird going on Jaguar. I think Hernandez is targeting your sister."

"I know. Lex talionis, Icen."

"At yung last feed that we got when you took Ria this afternoon. I can't help but think that it was meant for you."

"Basta keep her safe. She's valuable to us." To me. "May bago bang developments?"

"I have Rin keeping an eye on XH32. He's planning something soon. Intel says he is preparing three units for tomorrow. Mukhang may ipapakidnap siya."

Napangisi ako. It pays to be one-step ahead. "We'll put decoys. Hindi ko hahayaang may gawin siyang masama kay baby girl. We need to get him this time."

"Pero boss, wala tayong lalaki sa team." She reminded me with a pout. She grimaced as her glasses fell too low on her nose.

"I have more than enough men in my family, Icen."

***

I knew then that my family deserves to have knowledge of what is going to happen. I've always taken it upon myself na ilayo sila sa mga problema ko dahil kaya ko ang sarili ko, pero kung si Diosa na ang pag-uusapan, alam kong sasama ang loob nila na hindi nila alam kung ano ang nangyayari. Isa pa, maaring sino man sa kanila ay maging target kung hindi nila alam na may threat sa aming pamilya.

I wanted to talk to them so I arranged for a little get-together. Tanging si Prince lang ang may hint that something is going on. Chineck ko rin ang trail ko to Melanie and I was surprised to find out someone managed to delete all traces of her in the net. Sure sign na isang pro ang trumabaho.

I recognize the signature of the hacker.

XH32.

I started preparing the pasta for our family dinner.

***

"Wala kang kuwenta." I threw the glass of milk he prepared and it shattered against the wall. "Sabi mo magiging akin siya pero hanggang ngayon sila pa rin ng punyetang Aya na'yon!" Kumukulo ang dugo ko sa tuwing makikita ko ang pictures sa Instagram ng hayop na babaeng 'yon. Hindi ko makakalimutan kung paanong inagaw niya sa akin si Prince.

Prince and I, we are meant for each other. I never loved anyone the way I loved him. Siya lang ang ginusto ko nang ganito. I gave him everything... mga bagay na akala ko ay hindi ko maibibigay kahit kanino. Alam kong mahal niya ako at naguguluhan lang siya ngayon. Kasalanan ng babaeng 'yon. Inakit niya si Prince. Alam ko dahil marami na ang kagaya niya na iniligpit ko.

Girls flock to him. Kahit naman noong kami pa ay marami na ang naghahabol sa kaniya. Sino ba naman ang hindi? He is handsome as hell, tall, athletic, and intelligent. Napaka-sweet niya. He didn't judge me kahit na ilan na ang naging boyfriend ko before him at laman ako parati ng mga blind item. Even with my reputation as a playgirl hindi niya ako iniwan. He understands me more than anyone, my artistic soul just found its mate in him. In my Prince.

I crave him. I crave the feel of his skin against mine. I want to bury myself under his skin and never leave. He is always in my thoughts... kahit may kasama akong iba siya ang naiimagine ko... above me, under... his face when he reaches the pinnacle.

I shudder as I feel large hands touching my skin, sliding under my camisole.

"You are mine..." His urgent whisper brought a frisson of revulsion inside of me. Gusto kong masuka tuwing hinahawakan niya ako, yet I'm powerless under his ministrations. His hands roamed my body freely and I let him. Small enough prize to get what I want.

"I found his weakness baby... soon he will pay for what he did." His lips crushed mine. I feel like he wants to devour me whole. His weight drove the breath from my lungs. "All for you, for you my love."

I just imagined it was Prince's hands on my skin, Prince kissing me... because if I think about reality, I might just want to kill myself instead.

***

I tried to explain to my brothers in the simplest of terms. Hindi naman sa minamaliit ko ang kakanyahan nila na maintindihan ang nangyayari; almost my whole clan has above average intelligence, pero ayokong magbigay ng unnecessary details na maaaring mag-compromise sa mga plano. Knowing too much is about as dangerous as knowing too little. I told them about what we know based on the intel; about Brian Tiu, Hernandez, and Mel's connection to him. I left out the things about Myght and Maria.

Halos inaantok na ang lahat matapos ang usapan namin at madaling araw na rin kaya natulog na sila Diosa dahil may classes pa sila bukas. I almost laughed when Kuya Alfredo tried to punch Prince when he looked like he was going to sleep in the room with my sister. Minsan nakakalimutan niyang hindi na bata si baby girl and at some point, we really have to let go of her. Though I do feel like masyadong mabilis na-inlove ang kapatid namin kay Prince, I trust the guy. I know he won't do anything to harm my sister. Nagkataon lang na he came from a bad relationship, but it can happen to anyone.

Nagpaalam na ako sa mga kapatid ko na mauuna sa bahay. Kuya Alfredo opted to stay behind at magkakasama silang natulog ni Kiko at Prince sa iisang kuwarto. Si Aidan at Adam ay umuwi sa condo nila na ilang blocks lang din ang layo dito sa apartment ni Prince.

"Keep your eyes open," I reminded Edge who is assigned to watch over them tonight. Tumango lamang ang agent at sumaludo sa akin. Napakatahimik masyado ng agent na ito kaya minsan hindi ko matantiya ang loyalty niya. "Make sure no more surprises tonight."

I drove back home in my car. Habang nasa kalsada ay tumawag si Icen para mag-report samantalang si Sanada ay nasa surveillance kay Tiu. Masyadong tahimik si Tiu nitong mga nakaraang araw pero after this day, I know things are gonna blow up sooner than later.

I only wish that I can protect my family from the enemy.

***

I still have a happy smile on my face when I got back to my condo. Sobrang na-touch ako sa gesture ni Ali. I didn't really want to admit it pero deliberately ayaw kong mag-enrol kung hindi rin naman sa kursong gusto ko. I figured I will just make myself doubly miserable kung pipilitin kong lumipat sa business kung wala roon ang puso ko. It's not like I'm really planning to go through with the wedding. Naghahanap lang ako ng magandang tiyempo para sabihin sa pamilya ko. Tama si Ali, kung malalaman nila ito ngayon tiyak gagawin nila ang lahat para kumbinsihin ako.

Sa sobrang saya ng prospect na papasok na ulit ako ay nagpunta na ako sa bookstore para bumili ng school supplies. Inayos ko na rin ang schedule ko sa planner ko. I hope hindi agad malaman nila Tita Eliza what Ali did kasi siguradong pipilitin na naman nila ako. I need to be firm this time.

If there's one thing that I learned from Ali, I need to go for the things that matter to me. Kung mahal ako ng pamilya ko, maiintindihan nila ang choice ko. I can't live in their shadow forever. Baka habang-buhay kong pagsisihan kung hindi ko ipaglalaban ang gusto ko. I can't always bow down to their wishes then hate my life. I'd only succeed in embittering my self. 

I was startled out of my musings when I heard my door bell ring. Binuksan ko ang pinto at mayroong babae doon na may dalang bouquet ng azaleas. It's got to be from Ali. I smiled at the girl. Mukhang hindi siya komportable in her leather jacket at boots. I was gonna say something about it kasi hindi siya mukhang delivery personnel pero basta iniabot niya sa akin ang delivery receipt. I got distracted and forgot to ask as I immediately signed the delivery receipt. Pagtingin ko ay nawala na siya so I just brought the flowers inside. Okay, that was a little weird. I didn't let it bother me though as I got my cellphone and sent a message to Ali to thank him for the flowers.

I fell into the best sleep I had in weeks.

***

Maaga akong nagising kinabukasan at ang unang tumambad sa mga mata ko ay yung flowers na ipinadala kagabi.

"Good morning world!" Parang luka-lokang bati ko sa mundo habang binubuksan ang kurtina ng kuwarto and let the sunshine it. Maaga pa naman and my class is not yet until ten am so I decided to go for a morning run.

Sa sobrang depressed ko the last few weeks ay ni hindi ko nabisita ang gym o nakapag-jogging man lang and I could feel my muscles protest after only a few blocks but I kept at it. Soon enough ay parang nagbalik yung sigla ko at nagpatuloy ako sa pagtakbo around High Street all the way to Rizal Drive. After the run, I feel refreshed. Dumaan na ako sa isang resto para mag-breakfast.

I was still in a happy daze when I opened the door of my unit. Napatili ako nang biglang may humablot ng braso ko papasok.

"And where have you been young lady?" Nanlaki ang mata ko nang makita ko ang nagpupuyos na mga mata ni Tita Eliza. They are all inside my unit. Ama, Tita Eliza, Cassie, Andi, Bryan and Alex.

"Um... I..."

"Hindi ba sinabi ko nang huwag kang umaalis na hindi nagpapaalam?" I could feel her fingers digging into my arm.

"Who were you with, Maria?" Malamig na tanong ni Brian. His face looked impassive at napalunok ako. I'm not used to his serious gaze being directed at me.

"Were really sorry about this Brian." My tita threw an apologetic look to him. He took a step towards me.

I took a step back, "Sorry, I just needed to get some air."

"Air?" His voice took on a dangerous edge. Napatungo ako. Pakiramdam ko ay matutunaw ako sa titig niya. He grabbed my wrist. "ADZ?" I felt the metal of my bracelet digging into my wrist.

"He is quite clever, pero mas magaling ako." Hindi ko namalayan na naroon na si Alex sa aking likuran. I could feel him breathing down my neck. "Tell me how long have you been playing fire with Alistair Damien Zabala?" Biglang tumayo lahat ng balahibo ko sa boses niya.

"Answer!" Napatili ako nang gumuhit ang sakit sa aking palapulsuhan. Hinatak ni Brian ang bracelet at naputol ito. Ramdam ko ang kirot at nakita ang hiwang dumudugo. Nanhilakbot ako sa kaniyang nanlilisik na mata. Napatili ang aking mga pinsan.

"Stop! What are you doing to Ria?" Cassie was hysterical as she tried to reach me pero pinigilan siya ng mga tauhan ni Brian. "Tama na!"

"Who?" Litong tanong ni Tita Eliza na naguguluhan sa nangyayari.

"ANSWER ME DAMN YOU!" Napahikbi ako sa pagyugyog ni Brian sa aking mga braso. Pakiramdam ko ay naalog ang aking utak sa lakas ng pagyugyog niya. Napatili ang mga pinsan ko.

"Let go of my grand daughter!" Narinig kong utos ni Ama pero hindi pinansin iyon ni Brian. Pakiramdam ko ay mas lalo lamang humigpit ang hawak niya. Pakiramdam ko gusto niya akong patayin ngayon.

"BULLSHIT!" I flinched as Brian roared. Hinila niya ako at halos ibato sa sofa. Namutla si Ama at hinawakan ni Tita Eliza ang braso niya para makaupo.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it," Alex replied cooly. "I know the agents assigned to your case." He slid several pictures on my coffee table.

"What is happening?" Ama demanded.

"Your grand daughter is sneaking behind us with the enemy," Brian spat. "I knew there was something off."

Hindi ako agad nakakilos. I stared at the photos. There is one of Ali, yung girl na nagdeliver ng flowers kagabi, yung waitress na nasa restaurant kahapon, and yung si Lana na nakilala ko sa Sagada. Is this some kind of sick joke? I felt like someone sucker punched me in the gut.

"I have a personal score to settle with Jaguar's team." Alex smirked.

Alistair, were you playing me for a fool?

***