I peek in the living room, seeing Klaus' big back. I roll of the bed, letting my bare feet collide with the wooden floor that surprisingly wasn't that cold. I enter the other room just when Klaus turns to face me. 

"Hi, Stella. how are you", he beams

"Fine", I lie.

"Do you want me to make you tea? It will help your stomach."

No. No, please, no more teas.

"Oh, no, it's okay. Where has Myles gone?", I ask, shifting back and forth on my feet like a child.

"Oh, he and Jimmy play football."

"Football?" I cock my eyebrow.

"Yeah", he chuckles, "Jim love play it with can."

"Mhm." I sit on the couch, feeling dizzy all of the sudden.

"Should I give you plate with those pancakes?" He points on the plate where the all the pancakes are rolled. I just shake my head. 

"I've just vomited, if you missed to see", I say way too bitter than I wanted to say it. "Sorry", I add.

"You must just cathed a cold." I try not to pay attention to his incorrect use of English. Myles is the one who can correct him. I feel that would be rude coming from my side. "I'll prepare you tea." Before I can object he approaches the oven and starts making a tea. I let out a sigh I didn't know I was holding. 

We were being in silencr until he sat next to me and handed me a cup with the warm tea. I tried no to roll my eyes. Suddenly I remember those days before I ended up in the hospital , before I had gone on that party with Chloe.  Myles was showering  me with teas every five minutes. And it would have stayed that way if I hadn't been so stubborn and gone to that party against hiw will, when he only wanted good for me.

But then again, we wound't have been here if I hadn't disobeyed him. We woudn't have escaped together and Scott would have continued beating Myles and he would have been silent and trying to suffer through that pain, not wanting to upset me. So, then maybe I had made a good choice, deciding to drag my ass to that stupid party in which I had almost died. 

So, the thing I had done there wouldn't have been the greatest choice and decision, but what can I say. It's not easy when you are suffering from unreturned love. 

"It's not that hot, you cam drink it immediately", Klaus' deep voice snaps me from my thoughts and I almost forgot about the cup around which my hands are wrapped, melting with its warmth. 

"Thanks", I whisper, bringint it to my mouth and take a sip of it, trying so hard not to scrunch my nose in disgust since I don't stand teas. But I'm surprised when this one doesn't burn my tongue. It's actually... good.

"Oh, I like this one!", I squeak, surprised. 

"It's hibiscus", he explains as if I know what that means. "It's from frut", he adds, probably hwen he sees my confused expression.

"Oh, Myles only makes me the ones that tastes like grass. Gross!", I snort. "Please, don't tell him that", I quickly add, hoping he won't tell Myles.

"Oh, don't worry, Stella, I won't", he chuckles, holding his big belly. "But those are better and can help you more. This one, though is the only one I have here currently."

"It's amazing trust me. My favorite so far."

"Then, I'm glad", he chuckles again. And leans on the couch. "Poor shame we don't have TV here", he complains.

Now it's my turn to chuckle softly. "Yeah, it is." I continue drinking this tasty tea while feeling it warming my belly that it is very much empty.

"Stella..."

I feel Klaus' hand on my thigh and I bounce back, spilling the tea over my shirt.

"No, no, I won't hurt you. Relaz, please." Must have been my terrified face that gone away my feeling of fear. "Sorry, I... I don't know why I did that, I didn't mean to..."

"It's okay", I cut him off, as he immediately removes his hand from my leg.

"Do you have a spare shirt?" He points at the wet stain and I follow his finger to see where he is showing at.

"I do, um, but it's not that wet I-I'll still change l-l-later", I stutter like an idiot.

"Okay. Don't go now, I didn't mean to do that. I will move slightly if I..."

I wave my hands through the air, and shake my head, "It's okay, Klaus. I'm fine, I promise", I lie, my voice, my whole damn body shaking.

We fall into silence again and I start staring at the wooden door, feeling how much my eyes are burning and hurting. Tired. I'm tired.

"Stella." I turn my head to Klaus for a brief moment, befote turning it back to the place at which I was staring seconds ago. "I just wanted to say that I know how hard this must be for you."

"What this?", I bite back bitterly not sure what is going on with me. Why am I back to  being a selfish bitch? And God, why am I so tired? I blink two times to get rid of the fatigue, as Klaus says:

"This... life. The fact that you had to escape from..."

"Escape from hell?" I cock my eyebrow and glance at him.

"Stella... I want you to know that I'm always here for you and Myles. He is now my son. And that makes you my daughter." I look at him with a softer expression, gasping, surprised.

I've never ever met my dad. And I'm not sure if I want to after I found out what he had done to mom. How he abandoned not just her but me at the same time. But you are already aware of my attitude toward male kind, and no matter how much Klaus looks kind and what he has done for us, I'm still kind of suspicious. I think I'll always be suspicious about men. Or people in general. Feeling scared that they may hurt me when I expected the least.

"I know you are afraid of everything and don't want to give them chance when a lot of people hurt you, but... It's not okay when you push people who want to help you", the old wise Chinese man speaks everything I'm thinking about.

"How do I know who wants to help me and who not when they all act the same at the beginning, pretending that they are all good", I ask numb, while still staring at the door.

"I understand your fear. I had the same when I came in America with Jim. Still have. People are judgme... they judge", I chuckle when he struggles to pronounce an adjective, but I try to shut it down. "And they don't help a lot."

"I agree." I hugged my knees and adjusted my head on top of them. I feel so tired, more tired every second.

"But that doesn't mean that they aren't people who help. It just means that there are little of them and that you have to let 'em help you. Will you let us, Stella?"

I stay silent, feeling the weakness jn my eyelids, that threaten to close my eyes every minute. I sigh, and tilt my head, focusing my eyes on something more interesting than door so I can keep them opened and don't fall asleep here on the uncomfortable couch without Myles.

I need to sleep next to him.

When I sleep with him I don't have nightmares.

And the one I had was so heavy, so hard for me to suffer through, and him making me think of a beach really helped, but unfortunately after every nightmare I'm more exhausted and now I just want to fall asleep on his chest. I can just hope that he will let me.

"I dunno", I shrug lazily, realizing that I haven't given him the answer.

"But, Stella..."

"Maybe, I just can't be helped."

"Don't talk like that", he scolds me, and I only glance at him sadly qnd nostagically. "Look... I felt so helpless when me and Jimmy were left alone. But I had to pick myself up for Jim."

"Well, I don't need to pick myself up for anyone", I say, playing with my fingers. I miss my ring so much. Perhaps Chloe has some and could bring me?

"And Myles? You don't think he would be sad if you give up?"

I turn my gaze to him, still tilting my head lazily. His blue eyes shine back at me. "He cares about you so much. He puts so much effort in you and you have to make it easier for him. You have no idea how much happier he will be if you are as well. His happiness is your happiness." I break the eye contact. "And since you are together at this it would be well, stupid if you leave him alone. Then he would go back there and that bastard will continue beating him. Do you want that Stella?" I quickly shake my head."Then you have to pick up yourself. He is tryjng so much. But you have to try as well. No matter how hard that must seem to you."

Klaus is right. I have to make it easier for Myles. He is trying so much, doing almost everything for me and what do I do in return? Nothing. I just cry and cry and cry like a baby. Myles doesn't cry at all. He is so strong. How is that he is so strong? How can he not cry when his life isn't good either? How can he keep fighting and not give up nor once when all I do is give up on every single step, on every obstacle that shows up on my path. I'm so fucking weak and I hate myself for that.

Also, I'm again being selfish, not thinking about other people in my life, only focusing on my own pain and not others'. Myles is hurting, as well. I mean he had to report his brother because of me. For me. And I act so childishly, always crying in his arms, while he doesn't even shred a tear. 

But how can he not cry? I would cry so much if all of that happened to me. If I was being beaten every single day. Yet, he barely winces, doesn't talk about it and acts as if his life is nothing but perfect. How? I want to be strong like him. But, I'm so fucking weak.

"Shh, it's okay", Klaus says and wipes something from my cheek that I assume must be tear. See? Am I crying again? What the fuck?

"I'm so weak, Klaus. I always cry. I can't endure what is happening to me. How I'm being rejected by the people I love. I'm so selfish, Y-you're right. I don't help Myles nor one bit. I'm an idiot", I burst into tears and he hugs me, but moves when he feels my body stiffening.

"I won't hurt you, Stella. Relax." He massages my shoulder, then I slowly after hesitating put my head on his shoulder, lifting my knees to the coach. His big palms find their way to my greasy hair, and i place mine on his fat belly. 

"And you aren't an idiot, Stella. You are just a girl that has been through so much. I have no idea what has happened to you, and I don't want to give you a pressure to tell me. I just want to tell you that it's all over."

"Is it, though?", I sniffle.  "Because each time when I think that it is over, something happens again."

"I know, I know", he comforts me, stroking my hair and tugging it behind my ear very gently that I really like it. It feels like... so fatherly. "That's how life supposes to be."

I don't pay attention to his bad grammar, I understand him, "Painful?"

"No. A mix of bad and good things. A test."

"A test for what? Because I'm falling it."

"No, you aren't. You are doing a great job."

"What happened to your wife, Klaus?", I change the topic. His hand stops fondling my head and he puts it on my shoulder, taking some time to answer.

"She died." Another pause.

"You don't have to tell me", I rush to tell him, knowing perfectly how hard it is for someone to describe the death of their love one. 

"It's okay", he assures me. "She died when she gave birth to Jim. We knew that it was going to happen and... I tried to stop her, but she wanted so much to give birth to him. I told her that we can adopt someone, that only thing that matters was that she was alive, but...", he takes a deep breath, "she didn't listen to me." I can sense sadness behind his voice, but he doesn't let it break him. "She made me promise that I would do anything for Jim and treat him the best way I can, as if she was there."

"Did it hurt?"

"What?" I feel his head bowing to look at him, but I keep my stare at the wooden door, expecting Myles to walk through them any second.  

"When she died. Where you devastated?"

"I was", he whispers. "I was", he says louder, "and if it wasn't for Jim, I would probably be next to him now." I somehow noticed that he sometimes gusses the right sentence when he uses the conitional sentence, and sometimes he doesn't, which is funny, because that doesn't matter right now at all. It didn't matter. His pain is what I should accurate with. 

"So", he clears his throat, "you have to try your best and try to get over it."

"I'm trying to get over it for three years, and it still hurts the same."

"I still remember her every day, every second, Stella. Her dream was to have a daughter."

"A daughter?" I lift my head to have a better look at him.

"Yeah. She didn't want to know the sex of a baby, is that a w..."

"It is", I say, understanding what he wants to ask.

"... sex of the baby until the last moment. And she didn't want to use anesthesia, so she can be there to see her. But, it was him. I wasn't there to see her reaction when she...", his voice breaks and I clutch on his shirt, trying to comfort him.

"I'm so sorry", I mumble, and he hugs he tighter.

"You two, as well as Jim are hurting, but I'm hurting, too. And I have to be strong for you all, but sometimes I find it hard, Stella." His hand is pulling me closer as if I could take away his pain.

I don't say anything. I stay quiet, wanting so bad to have a magic wand to take all of our pain away because we don't deserve it. We deserve happiness that is nowhere to be found. 

He pulls away and his fingers are wipping my tears, while I'm sniffling.

"We all have weak moments, Stella, but we have to be strong if not for ourselves then for the people we love, the ones who care about us." I just not, feeling so emotional. Overwhelmed.

"Klaus?"

"Mhm?"

"Why did you come here and not stayed in China?"

"That is a story for another time. Let's now stop crying and go to  see our boys. Shall we?", he asks, and I nod, getting off his lap.

"Also, can I have one of these pancakes?" He points on the plate that is on the table.

"Of course you can, they are for you." I straight my shirt, moving the dust for it. Chloe's shirt. 

"They are for all of us. You should get some, but I hope that for now tea helped", he says, sitting for the table.

"It did", I beam, still sniffling. "Klaus?"

"Mhm?" He turns his head to me with full mouth. How did the hell he manage to pit teh whole pancake in his mouth in one piece?

"Can I maybe borrow your phone? I need to talk to someone?"

"Um... sure..." He hands it to me once he takes it from his tight jeans that hangs low under his big belly. Weirdly, I can't picture him without it, as a fit man, this weight suits him so well. 

I've always felt the fat people are better than the slim ones. Mom used to say that if they don't enjoy in food then they must be arrogant, while the ones who enjoy in it don't have any reason to bite back. That was the erason why I always had a little fat on my lower belly. And look at me now. Skin an dbones after she had left me without her specialtines, and candies that we used to make together.

"Um, are they... You know, they", I try my best to express who are they without saying their names. Myles always know how they are, and for that I am grateful.

Silly, he knows everything you do.

"... eavsdropping or..."

"The phone is my private one, don't worry. I would never give you the phone I use for errands. I didn't even took it since Jim found out that they have some chip. Don't worry, Stella, call whoever you need you call."

"Thanks", I mumble, smiling, squeezing the small old version of Nokia in my hands. 

"I'll be outside", Klaus announces while shoving another pancake in his mouth, lwalking to teh door.

When he gets out I immediately dial Tyler's number. It is a good thing I know all the numbers by my heart. I wait impatiently for him to pick up while listening to the annoying beep sound.

"Yes?", his hoarse voice answers and I hear some noise from the other side. Some female voice. She asks him who is it, and he tells her tow ait. I wonder if that is his girlfriend, the one he ran to that night. he ran to his girlfriend whom he must love and she must love him back, while I...

"Stella! Is everything alright? Your friend was at mine this morning. Chloe. She wanted to find you. Did she manage?"

I frown at this. I thought that Chloe found out where I was when Myles had called her. That is how she told me. So, she lied.

"Um... Yeah, yeah", I rush to say, so he can't sense my confusion.

"Tyler?"

"Hm?"

"I want to see him... I need to see him."

"Stella..."

"Whenever he is, I don't care. Just please, at least to see him if I can't talk to him. Only to see that he is alright. Please, I beg you."

"Okay. Come tomorrow to me, I'll take you."