I'm panting, feeling how the only thing that I need to remain in life is vanishing from my lungs, leaving them empty and threatening to let me die. I look in front of me and only see the blood that keeps streaming down her wrists, approaching me and staining my white sneakers. I try to move, to escape, but it keeps following me, not wanting to leave me alone. I make a move but I feel like falling and hitting some hard. My white lace dress is now, as well stained in that crimson liquid and I scream trying to wipe it off, but I make my hands dirty with it, too.

Now, my hands are covered with it start trembling and I can't take my eyes off them because the liquid makes me feel like it's my fault. Like I'm a killer. Like I killed her. Slowly and scared I move my gaze to the bath where she is, but I can't see her body only a big red puddle that is chasing me and that suddenly took a human shape, reaching its big arms to me.

"No! No! No!" I shake my head while swallowing the tears that are choking me squeeze my throat. I crawl backward trying to escape and not be caught by this terrific creature.

I keep crawling, but I hit my head in something hard that causes me to close my eyes and when I open them again I see that the blood is gone. But not just blood. Everything is gone. There's only blackness and I see nothing.

"Stella?"

I turn in the direction from where the sound is coming as if I could see who is the one who is calling me.

I feel someone's hands on me and I quickly push them, thinking that they belong to the blood.

"No, no, go away! Please!", I beg, sobbing.

"Stella, it's me."

"Mom?", I ask, turning my head. "No, no, go away! You wanted to leave me. What do you want now? How could you do it? Huh? I'm left all alone now. You should know what has happened to me. Do you feel guilty? Huh, do you?", I ask her angry, knitting my brows, still seeing only blackness in front of me.

"Stella..." She fondles my cheek and I almost stop being mad at her. But I quickly push her hand, realizing that this is my only chance to finally tell her everything I had wanted since the day she dared to leave me.

"No! You left me! You didn't think of me at all! How could you? Didn't I cross your mind? Not even once? What would your daughter think once she finds you dead? Huh, nothing? You were aware that I was going to come back once, haven't you? Huh? Answer me!", I scream, and my throat burns but I don't pay any attention to the fire in my throat, but the one in my heart.

I'm not sure if she is still here because either way, it's dark here at mine.

"Stella, listen to me."

"No! What can you tell me, hm? You're dead! This is my illusion or... or a dream, a nightmare actually and once I wake up you'll be gone, and everything that you have said I will forget. So, don't spend your precious time in heaven on wherever they sent your soul on the daughter you have left!"

"But, Stella this is me!"

"Who me? Me, me... who me?", I scream, pulling my hair and squeezing it in my little fists. "I can't see anything! Everything is dark here! You left me in the dark mom, yet you found light in the afterlife not caring un cazo (a fuck) what would I feel like and how would I live after you were gone. Why? Why didn't you...", my voice breaks, and the tears don't let me finish the sentence, squeezing my throat even stronger.

The person next to me wraps their hands around my shaking body and I sob in their chest, wetting their shirt and when I squeeze it with my fist I feel the familiar scent filling my nostrils. I lift my head, opening my eyes, but the sight I want to see is still hidden in darkness.

"Myles?", I whisper.

"Yes, it's me, Stella", he answers softly, and I tighten my grip around him. "It's okay. Everything is going to be alright. Just breathe."

"Myles, I can't see", I hiccup, "I can't see you." My hand travels to his features, and my fingers take his cheeks and brush his thin lips.

"It's okay. It's just temporary."

"No, maybe it's not!", I squeal. "Maybe, I'll be blind forever. Always in the dark. Forever."

"Shh", he hums in my ear, stroking my hair that has fallen on my face. "That won't happen, I promise you."

"How can you make it disappear? You aren't that powerful", I humiliate him without thinking. "You can't find against my miserable destiny." I start sobbing again.

"Shh, Stella. Don't think about that now, okay? Close your eyes and try to imagine something beautiful. Something that makes you happy. Or someone."

"Michael!", I retort.

"Okay, Michael. Imagine Michael."

"O-okay", I say once I can see his tall frame with his gorgeous features clearly in front of me, them dispersing the darkness in a blink of an eye.

"Did you imagine him?" I nod. I have no idea in which position I am and can he see me.

"Okay, now tell me what do you see?"

"I-I see h-him. His green eyes th-they are burning w-with f-fire. No, no, he doesn't love me..." I shake my head quickly, feeling the tears that are falling on my eyes straight on the floor, not even bothering to first stream down my cheek.

"Stella..."

"No, no, that doesn't matter", I sniffle, wiping my tears. "I love him and it doesn't matter that he doesn't love me, right?"

I want to tell her that it does matter and that she cannot force herself to be with someone who does not love her back just because she is affected by him, scared to let him go because she thinks if she does that her life will fall apart. She is placing all her hopes in that green- eyed boy that does not care for her, who broke her heart, not caring about the faith she had for him, desperately trying to convince everyone that he is a good boy.

He doesn't even believe it himself yet she wanted to believe in it so bad, that she rejected to see his true colors, turning him into what her mind imagined him to look like. She convinced herself that he is the perfect man for her because she wanted so bad to have someone like she had imagined it and since she could find no one like that in this world full of evil men, she pretended that the evil one was good. And she continued pretending even when he hurt her.

"Did you call Tyler?", her question snaps me from my thoughts.

"I-I... ', I take a deep breath, "I still don't have a phone. Don't worry about that now. Try to see something in your mind, so your eyes can rest a little and you can calm down. Why don't you think of a beach", I say suddenly.

"A beach?", she pouts her lips.

"Yeah, a beach. Have you ever been on a beach before?" She shakes her head. "Me neither. Okay, so think that we are on a beach... And we are walking on the sand with our bare feet and approaching the ocean."

"Ocean."

"Yeah, ocean. The water is so peaceful and the color of it is so bright."

"So bright", she repeats, trying to imagine the scene. I close my eyes as well.

"Suddenly, a wave comes and it splashes your feet, so you startle and step back scared." She giggles and I join her, happy that I made her smile. I wish that sound would come more from her mouth and replace her sobs.

"Like this." My finger touches her leg playfully, tickling the bare skin just where her jeans end. She giggles again and kicks her leg, as well as my hand in the process.

"Wait, wait! Don't open your eyes just yet", I warn her.

"Okay, okay." She squeezes her eyes and adjusts on my chest, and I hug her better by her waist but try to be gentle and not grip too tight, so she does not get any flashbacks that she does not need right now.

"So, I somehow convinced you to get close to the water and put your feet in it."

"No way", she shakes her head determined.

"Just imagine", I drag the world, "please."

"Okaaay", she huffs.

"Now the water is tickling your feet as you go deeper in it while I hold you of course."

"Is it cold?"

"The water?" I feel her nodding because my eyes are closed again. "No, no, it's warm. It's a sunny day and it's like very warm."

"Okay."

"The water is now hugging your waist, like a circle around it. Can you feel it?" I put my hands on her hips as if they can replace the imaginary water.

"Mhm", her voice is low as she melts in this silly imagination of ours.

"Is it nice?"

"It is."

"Tell me about it."

"Okay, so, um... I'm a little bit scared."

"No", I shake my head, "no space for fear here", I add quickly, not wanting her to think about anything bad right now. "This is an imaginary place where emotions like fear, pain, anger, and miserability don't exist. There's only happiness, laugh, fun and joy."

"Okay, then. So, I'm floating in the water and it's nice. Um, I'm moving my legs so, I can keep my upper body out of the water. Are you here?"

"I am, I am." I wrap my arms tighter around her and lean into her back.

"No, next to me. In the water."

"If you want me to, then I am."

I will always be where you want me to be. Even if you want me to go to hell, I will go there just for you, thinking about how I am doing what makes you happy. And if hell for me is what makes you happy, I would run there.

"I want you to", she breathes out, and I inhale the mesmerizing scent of hers.

"Okay, then. I am next to you."

"You are holding my hips, just like that." She touches my hands and squeezes them on her hips and I am surprised at how she is suddenly not scared from my touch. But I like that she is not. It makes me feel better like she has hope and faith in me. And that is exactly what I want to show her. That she can believe me no matter what, that I would never hurt her.

"Okay, I am holding it." I swallow hard while being mesmerized by her curvy hips and just her pretty body in general that is pressed against mine, leaning on my chest.

"Tell me you, how do you feel?"

"I-I... I feel good as well. I am looking at you and how you are smiling and it melts my heart because I wanted you to be happy for so long. And that sight makes me happy now. I splash you with water and your smile grows wider and that is exactly what I wanted. The sun is going down and the sky is orange and pink, switching between these two colors while you are nagging at me because I dared to splash you."

She chuckles, "That is exactly what I would do."

"I know", I whisper and press my head next to hers, burying my face in her long hair that smells on chlorin that just makes my imaginary vision be even clearer.

I feel her moving her head and when I open my eyes I see that her green ones are staring at me, her lips parted and I do not know why I again have that urge to kiss her. It shouldn't do that. I have to give her space. She needs space and a lot of time to heal. But how can I do that when she needs hugs so she can feel better?

Why do I intend to give her space but somehow her body always ends up in my arms, shaking and asking for solace that I cannot take from her and have to give it to her enough tortured self?

"Stella... c-can you see me?" I move my head back slightly, so my closure does not scare her.

She blinks once and nods. "I do. I do. Now I see your face clearly. Not like in that beach blurry and..." She leans and I find it impossible to move my head again and not look at her parted lips. "Myles", she whispers on my lips, never moving her gaze from my eyes.

"Yes?" I swallow hard.

"Would you call me baby like you did yesterday on that beach of yours?"

"I..." I scratch my neck, and as if she can sense my hesitating, she adds:

"I liked it. I liked it when you call me like that."

"I... I would then."

She leans closer and moves her gaze from my eyes and glances at my lips, but something falls and we both snap from our vision where only we existed, on the beach we never had an opportunity to see, in the water, splashing each other, while laughing the loudest we can, while we are so close and our bodies touching, on the edge to merge our lips.

"No, no, no!" Jimmy squats to take what has fallen from his tiny hands. "No, sorry, I-I... I thought you are going kiss like in movies..."

"For how long have you been standing there?", I ask, slightly sternly, scared that he has seen everything as if we had done something wrong.

"No", he scratches the back of his head, "not, um long. I..." But I don't listen to him until the end because Stella starts coughing next to me. I quickly turn my head to her, seeing her body curled up while she is holding a hand on her belly.

"What... Are you okay?"

"I...", she coughs again, "I have to go to the bathroom." With that, she gets up from the floor and scurries past Jimmy, and enters the bathroom like a tornado.

I follow her, leaving the little boy in confusion. I stop in front of the bathroom when I see her holding onto the toilet, vomiting.

No. No. No. Chloe was not right. She cannot be. Right?

I quickly snap from my trance and kneel on the cold floor, joining her. I remove her hair from her face, and hold it in my hands, trying to make it easier for her as if that is even possible.

After a couple of minutes, she lifts her head, panting and wiping her mouth with her wrist. I am still holding her hair and I grab the toilet paper handing it to her. She stretches her shaky hand and takes it, but it falls from it, and I take a new one and wipe her mouth myself.

"S-sorry that you ha-had to see that", she stammers when I flush the toilet, both of us still kneeling.

"No, it's okay. You must have caught a cold again", I beam at her, trying to convince both her and myself into this statement which is clearly just a lie.

Now I am the one who is trying to believe in something that obviously everyone around me can see and that is maybe true, but I myself, do not want to admit it because that would break me just like it would hurt Stella to admit that the man whom she loves is not the right one for her.

We all lie ourselves in order to spare us the pain.

"Are you okay, Stella?" Jim storms into the small bathroom and squats next to Stella, stroking her long messy hair.

"I am, Jimmy. Don't worry, honey", she smiles at him with her pale lips and even more pale face which only color is coming from the dark begs underneath her eyes and caresses his soft cheek with her shaky hand. My eyes snap at it, and my heart breaks at the sad sight, at the sight of the girl I love who is suffering so much.

Why God? Why does she have to suffer?

"Bring her some water, can you, Jimmy?", I suggest, my face mimicking Stella's only minus the paleness. He runs to the kitchen once the words leave my mouth.

Stella tries to get up and I immediately take her hands that are freezing cold. I squeeze them trying to warm them a little in mine and then wrap them around her waist, holding her safely. "Can you walk?"

She locks her eyes with mine and I notice the fatigue in the green orbs of hers. She is exhausted. Exhausted of pretending, of faking all of her pain, of nightmares, of people whom she leaves and who leave her, and I want to take it away and replace it with happiness as if I am replacing her clothes, but unfortunately, I cannot.

"You asked me the same question that night", she whispers, and I instantly remember that night she is talking about without needing her to use any other description. "And I will always tell you the same answer- I can. Because I have to, right?"

"You don't, Stella." I shake my head. "If you are tired, you just need to tell me and I will do anything to make it easier for you. If you can't walk, I will carry you, if you..."

"If I can't live, will you live for me?" I open my mouth but close them, and she continues speaking, understanding that she has taken me off guard. I have no answer on this, unfortunately. "I have to live on my own, right? Just like I have to walk on my own."

"But, Stella..."

My eyes catch Jimmy standing in the corner and I move my gaze to him. He is holding a glass of water with his little hand squeezing it tightly, scared that it will fall on the floor, struggling to balance it since it's filled until the top. The big smile is on his cute face, as well as the dimples on each cheek. Stella takes it and I keep my hands prepared if she cannot hold the glass, but she drinks it all and hands it back to Jimmy.

"Thank you."

"Are you okay now?"

"I am." She brushes her hand through his short hair and turns on her heel to go back to the room.

"They made pancakes, Stella! Pancakes!", Jimmy squeaks chasing her and jumping after her which makes Stella turn to him and stop at the entrance of the room. Her eyes glue back to me as if he is asking me did we really do that. I just shrug and she shakes her head, tired.

"Yeah, they made them for you and your dad, Jimmy", she pinches his cheek, her eyes half-closed. "Go, now, eat them!", she tells him with a little squeaky voice, trying to fake a smile. And that sight breaks my heart in a million pieces as if it was not broken for her. Not by her, but for her.

"Who they?" Jimmy's eyes dances between me and her, confused, his lips parted.

"Stella's friend and me", I answer him, putting my hand on the small of his back, trying to guide him to the living room, so he can leave Stella to relax a little. I lift my head to take one last look at the pink-haired girl, but when I see her back turned to me, and the way she is walking tiredly to the bed, I sadden and sigh, focusing my attention back on the Chinese little boy.

"Come on, try them", I tell him when we are next to the table, glancing at his father who is on the couch, with closed eyes. I wonder if he fell asleep, but he proves me wrong when he opens them, revealing that he was just relaxing a little bit.

"Do you want to join him?", I ask him, while he is rubbing his bright blue eyes. he just shakes his head and I pull out the chair for Jimmy to sit, but he does not, so that makes me focus my gaze back at him, asking him what is wrong with only my expression of confusion.

"Myles?", he coos, and I gesture for him to tell me. "Can we play football?"

"Football?" I cock my eyebrow while glancing at Klaus who is just shaking his head, smiling. "But", I turn back to his son, "we do not have a ball."

"Oh, we do! Come outside!" He does not give me a chance to stop him because he storms out of the house, leaving the door open so, I have no other option but to follow him. I just look at Klaus one more time to ask him with my eyes only to take care of Stella and he understands my request perfeclty, nodding, wanting to tell me not to worry.