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20. Sometimes is harder to hold onto something than to let it go

I put away the plate with pancakes after I take one, trying to spare as Chloe has said, so Stella, Klaus, and Jimmy have something to eat when they came back, and when she wakes up.

I am so hungry, but now I cannot allow that luxury of having a full stomach, so I am going to be satisfied with this small amount of meals from now on. Even if I do not have an opportunity to eat, I will make sure that Stella has. And if what Chloe is assuming is true, then she has even more reasons to eat every single day at least three times a day.

Before my mind can drift to think about how Stella would feel if she knew that she maybe was carrying one more life in her belly, the door creaks and opens, stopping my thoughts. Klaus is the first one to get in, followed by little Jimmy who is not holding that usual joy on his cute face with glasses. My eyes catch bruises on Klaus' lip and forehead and Jimmy's torn shirt.

I sigh, getting up, not knowing what to say because I knew that this was going to happen. I just did not know what the hell was I thinking when I pulled them in our run away. I open my lips, still not sure what to say and before words can form in my mouth, I feel Jimmy's little arms wrapping around my legs. My gaze lingers on Klaus who just shrugs, tired, and tilts his head looking sadly at me with that bruised lip.

"Myles, we didn't told them where you are! We didn't!", he sobs and I do not pay any attention to his mistakes, I kneel down so I can be on his level. My hand cups his soft cheek and wipes the tears that are rolling down it.

"I know", I whisper. Let's go outside because Stella is sleeping."

"Oh, sleeping!" He covers his mouth instantly with both of his tiny palms and my lips curl in a small smile. When I lift my gaze back to Klaus, he has already turned around and left the house.

Jimmy and I follow him in silence. He takes us to the stream with green water and garbage swimming in it, not being able to drown due to the small amount of water. It stinks but when I see that neither Jimmy nor his father seems to care, I decide not to care either. At least we are safe here, it does not matter if it does or does not smell like a perfume. Or that is what I am hoping for.

"Are we safe?", the question leaves my mouth almost immediately once we sit on the black grass which significant green color that seems to be sucked out of it.

"You are, don't worry, son", Klaus assures me, sighing.

"You are safe! You are safe!" His son rushes to hug me and his little hands grip my shirt squeezing it, and I wrap my arms around his tiny frame that climbs on my lap like a five-year-old kid.

"Will you tell me what has happened?" I glance at Klaus who still is not looking at me but at the distant hilss that may hold a better life. The higher the better, they say. "I know that Scott has seen the camera footage." His eyes snap to mine and I take that as a cue to explain this further. "Stella's friend told me that he was at the hospital the same time as she was."

"Oh."

"I want meet Stella's friend", Jimmy squeaks and Klaus shushes him, telling him that this is not the right time to discuss that. I smile at him apologetically and hug him tighter, wondering how much did they hurt him. I look at his face and see that it is not bruised, just the hem of his tartan shirt is torn, but that's it.

"We went to our apartment. So they didn't follow us. Though one of Scott's people is still in front of the building, playing a guardian. We only sneaked out to tell you that we are fine."

"Yeah, we are fine", Jimmy repeats his father's words, hoping to make more impact on me and assure me better.

"I shouldn't have pulled you into this", I murmur in my chin.

"No, son, don't... How you say that shit", he shakes his head, "stress yourself. Eat yourself alive. Goddamit, you know what I mean!" I nod, my expression sad. "You couldn't run somewhere without having where to hide. Now you have a place for yourself." This time I do not pay attention either to Klaus' or Jimmy's grammar mistakes because this is not a situation where I should lecture them to speak English correctly.

"But what about you? You had a place where you could be at peace and we stole that from you."

"No!", both son and father shout at the same time. "We have our apartment. This is what we found by accident."

"Yeah, but you..."

"Myles", the grey-haired man cuts me off and I look at his brown eyes and grey beard that is old for weeks. "You are like a son to me. Both you and Stella were paying attention to Jim, more than once, when I couldn't. And I didn't even ask you to do that, So, the least I could do was to find you a place to hide from that bastard."

My heart melts at his words and I feel something warm coming from his eyes that are piercing at mine. It is as if the feeling was slightly familiar, yet not so. It is something I have never had. A father figure in my life that was going to take care of me. not just beat me for every mistake I make. Before I find words to thank him, Jimmy budges in my lap, making me look at him.

"I have to pee", he whispers and I bite my lip trying to stop myself from chuckling.

"Jim!", his father's voice growls and both Jimmy and I bounce. "How many times I have to tell you that isn't something you should tell other people."

"But, I wanted I...."

"Go!" He gestures for him and Jimmy quickly gets up from my lap and stands on his short legs. "And remember to be quiet and not wake Stella."

"Okay!", the kid yells as he runs to the house as fast as his legs can carry him.

"You do not have to scold him, he is just a child."

"I know but you really don't need to know if his bladder is full or not", he chuckles and I join him, but quickly stop when I remember that he had to suffer from punches because of me.

"Did they hurt him?"

"No." He shakes his head and I let out the sigh of relief, the breath I did not know I was holding and the load has been lifted from my mind. "Then why is his shirt torn?"

"Must be that someone pulled him when he tried to jump and stop Scott from beating me." When I open my mouth to ask him did he hurt him badly, he cuts me off, already knowing what is on my mind. "Don't worry, son, I'm fine. I'm stern and strong! I'm like a stone!" he pats his chest strongly with his palm and he resembles a big bear who is fighting for his children, not letting anyone hurt them, and to try and take him down first instead.

I shake my head, chuckling slightly. "Yeah, but Klaus you did not deserve this. I do not know how I did not think about camera footage..."

"Shush, Myles! I would really do it all again and if you left without telling us I'd be very angry. So, I'm happy you asked me for helo and I will gladly do everything that is in my power to save you and Stella from Scott and his cruelness."

"Even though that could hurt you?"

"Even though that could hurt me." He nods firmly and I feel my eyes starting to water because of these beautiful words that have awakened something in me.

And before I can realize what I am doing I wrap my arms around his bear-like figure. I catch him off guard, but his hand quickly hugs me back, while I adjust my face on his chest just the way I did it with Chloe earlier today. I have no idea what is going on with me and why am I so emotional and most importantly vulnerable today.

Must be all those years without anyone hugging me. Actually, I am a person who loves hugs so much, and it has been hard to survive without them when Emily left. And I cannot describe to you how happy I felt when Stella had hugged me last... night. And when she placed that kiss on my back... No words could ever describe the feeling that coursed through my body in that special moment that I am going to remember for the rest of my life.

And today when I felt that wound of emptiness which Emily has left when I saw her laying on the floor, lifeless being opened, I could not stop myself from crying and I was so happy that Chloe was there to comfort me. Because I do not want to bother Stella with my problems. She has enough of them on her own, way bigger than my stupid and lonely ones.

And now when Klaus has said these words that no one has ever said to me I cannot help but hug him, squeeze him tightly. I longed so much for someone like him for so long. Since the day we left our dad, pulled by the arms of the social workers and no matter how much I knew that it was for the best to leave him, I was still kinda sad at the same time because some feeling deep down was telling me that we would never have a chance to have someone similar to a father figure. And no matter how abusive our father was, he was still our father, and it felt hard to let go of him. But if we wanted to stay alive, and safe, healthy, we had to, we had to let go of his hand that was pulling us, sucking the life out of us.

Because sometimes it is harder to hold onto something than to let it go.

So, the ginger twins being five-years-old had to let go of their dad and greet him one last time, while he was just cursing and insulting them still, even if that was his last time seeing his kids. And they had to watch the police taking him somewhere where they would never see him again. Somewhere he would not be able to hurt him ever again. But even if he was locked, there were other people who hurt the twins who looked so much alike although they had such different personalities.

But the thing no one of them knew was that the time when they saw their father being taken by the police for the last time, was nowhere near the last time.

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