*Advice: prepare tissues*

"Where the fuck did you decide to hide? At the end of the fucking world?", Chloe asks, waving her hands frustrated in the air, while she scrunches her little nose looking through the window at the literally black and empty surrounding that stinks. I close the window hoping that will help her and she sighs leaning further in the passenger seat.

"I don't understand why you didn't tell me." She pouts, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Because we decided so out of the blue and Stella was so scared..."

"... that she forgot to tell me. I get it", she finishes, pouting, but I catch tears forming in her eyes and she averts my gaze when it locks with hers.

"Chloe." I turn to her, she is looking at her painted nails.

"I wasn't the only one looking for you, you know."

My eyes widen and I stop the car abruptly, making her bounce and almost hit her head in the dashboard.

"Was it him?", I hiss through my teeth, looking at the wheel, closing my eyes.

"If under him, you mean Scott, then yeah it was him. He saw the camera footage", she says, digging nails in her palm, nervously, while I grip the wheel.

"No, no, no..." I shake my head trying to think of something, but nothing smart pops into my mind.

Klaus and Jimmy must be being beaten right now by Scott and his slaves who fulfill every wish of his even if it includes the beating of the young innocent boy.

"Do you think that you are still safe? I mean you can, you could come to my house and...", she suggests, stammering and I realize that now her nail is in her mouth, while she is biting it due to the stress.

"Elen likes Stella. She would like her to stay and you, as well..."

"No, Chloe", I shake my head determined, "we do not want to disturb you nor your foster parents."

"You won't disturb us!", she exclaims, and I turn my head to her, as she twists her body to me. "What if they come here? Please, I don't want her to go through the shit I went through. And she has gone through so many bad things by now."

"No, no", I shake my head, again, "she will not. I promise you that. No one knows about this place", I repeat Klaus' words, wanting so bad to believe in them, hoping that this is true.

"Are you sure? Maybe he followed you..."

"When was the time you came to the hospital?"

"Um... around 10."

"We were gone for five hours when he came, so there is no way he could follow us." I sigh in relief. "He didn't even know that we escaped." Once again, I sigh, trying to calm both her and myself down.

"If you say so. But don't forget", she cocks her eyebrow, "the offer is still opened and you don't have to accept it now, but whenever you need it and please, don't think that you will disturb us."

I nod, smiling slightly so she can stop worrying. She, as well as Stella, has been through so much and I love that they found each other in this really hard time for both of them. They need one another and I am so happy they are close.

I turn on the engine again, approaching the little wooden house. Chloe's bare leg is jigging up and down impatiently waiting to see her best friend.

"Chloe..." She snaps her head at me, and I try to look both at her and the empty streets of this industrial zone. "Stella didn't forget about you. Please, do not think that. She is in a really bad place right now."

"I know. I know." She bows her head and plays with the hem of her pink shirt, pulling the thread out of it. "It's just that I'm kinda sad, feeling neglected, though I know. I know everything." She glances at me, trying so hard to justify herself as if I was judging her in the first place. "I know that is selfish, I know. It's just that I thought I lost her and I can't describe to you how bad I felt when I left Tyler's house..."

"Wait, Tyler's house?", I cut her off, frowning slightly, puzzled. Why would she go to Tyler's house?

"Yeah, that friend of Michael's. The curly one with big big big", she continues adding the adjective big for some time, "biceps."

"I know who's Tyler, Chloe", I cut off her rambling, grinning slightly to myself. Does she have a crush on him? "But why would you go there?"

"I thought that Stella was with Michael... I... I didn't know...", she trails off.

"She didn't tell you", I whisper, surprised.

I cannot believe that she did not tell her the truth even after the party and what happened at it. But why? To Chloe? To her best friend. She did not tell her.

"But why, Myles? Why do I have to find out from Tyler that they had broken up? Or whatever the fuck had happened between them. I'm her friend. Friend. She should have told me. If not to me then to whom? To whom would she tell it?"

To me.

"Why is she always hiding and keeping everything in herself until it explodes and ruins her feeble body as well as her tiny broken heart? I mean, I understand if she didn't have anyone, but she did. She does. She has me..." She turns to the window, her voice breaking, and before she completely turns her face from me I catch tears forming in her blue eyes.

"I know, Chloe. I understand you." I take her hand really gently trying not to tempt her and she lets out a sob from her full lips. When I see that she did not pull her hand from mine, I speak, "I wish, too if Stella could be more open, but she cannot, unfortunately. She is so scared of everything. Not even I can fully understand why she does what she does, but I try to respect it no matter if I can comprehend it or not."

"I try to respect it, too, but it's killing her, Myles!", she snaps turning back to me, pulling her hand from mime strongly and I place it on my lap unsure of what to do with it. I glance at my black shoes, inhaling.

"I know. I know."

"Do you know what happened between them? Did she tell you?"

I glance at her, seeing how she's wiping her red nose, as I shake my head. "I know something, but that is because I found her that night..."

"That night?", she repeats, confused.

I sigh, before explaining, "He told her he didn't like h... love her", I correct myself, "back." She gasps, covering her mouth with her palm, but quickly the puzzled expression changes into an angry, if not furious one within the second.

"Motherfucker! How dare he? Men..." She shakes her head, tsking. "I mean, no offense", she adds when she realizes what she has said.

"None taken", I chuckle kindly, parking the car behind the abandoned fabric.

"So, that is why she took those drugs", she puts the puzzles together. "To stop feeling the pain that non returned love caused to her."

"Yes."

"And that is why you asked me not to take her that party. I was stupid. So so stupid." She shakes her head, slapping her forehead weakly. "I'm sorry."

"No, it is okay", I try to convince her, but she keeps shaking her head, making her blonde locks cascade with each shake. "She was sick, so sick and kept throwing up... She thinks that I do not know that she throws up, but I do. I try to make her eat but she does not and that must have ruined her stomach..."

"Wait, wait, wait", Chloe knits her brows, lifting her hand in the air as a sign for me to pause, "throwing up?"

"Yeah, because she goes days without eating and her belly must be exhausted from all the starving..."

"Myles..."

"... and I do not know how to make her come back from that shock she is still in since that night when she ran out from the hospital he..."

"Myles?", she raises her voice and I bounce, looking back at her extremely blue eyes that remind me of the sea I have never seen before. But I hope that one day I will. Maybe with her. "Do you know why she's throwing up?", her question snaps me from my idealized reverie of the sea and Stella in bikini, showing that shiny olive skin of hers and absorbing the sun laying in the sand, while I am only absorbing her beauty.

"Why?" The moment this stupid question leaves my mouth it hits me so hard in the face as the boomerang. The flashback of my twin brother comes back to me, the second when I realized what he had done to her against her will, and it replays in my head over and over again.

"No... no way, no way..."

She sighs and wets her lips with her tongue as if she is trying to process the fact that I still do not want to admit even though it is pretty obvious, I keep trying to think of something that could prove it all wrong. But I cannot.

"First of all, we have to make sure that is what we are assuming it is."

"What you are assuming", I correct her, trying to let her know that I do not share her opinion, or d not agree, or just do not want to admit it and reconsider it.

"Okay, what I am assuming."

"Let's not tell her that, though, nor mention that you saw Scott and that he knows about our escape."

"Oh, okay, okay. Don't worry. I won't tell a word", she drags the word, and zips her full pink lips with an imaginary key, and throws it behind her back.

"Chloe?"

"Mhm?"

"Do you think that she will ever heal from Michael?", I ask Stella's best friend, hoping that she has an answer, the exact time that will take a friend to forget about him and for the wound he made her little heart heal.

"I, honestly don't know, Myles", she admits, sighing.

"She wants to see him", I blurt out loud what I have been thinking the whole time while I was driving to her and bringing her here at ... our new home, I guess? Or just a temporary safe place. A safe place, yes that is what our current situation requires- a safe place for us; to hide, to express our feelings, and to relax one and for all, because we are both tired. She probably more than I am.

Chloe glances at me, and I shrug not knowing what to tell her since her expression is saying what the hell or what the fuck, considering the way she talks, that, of course, resembles Stella's vocabulary, both of theirs taken from the teacher herself- Maya Johnson. Yeah, I do know that Maya taught both of them how to act as they do- to hide their own feelings, to do makeup so they cover their natural features, to dress the way that probably makes them uncomfortable since I have seen Stella dressing completely different when we are at h... the house. Always so causal, in some sweatpants and well, tank tops probably to keep one part of her persona.

Chloe and I maybe have not been friends from the beginning and I do not even know now are we friends or just have a mutual one about whom we are both so concerned, but I have seen her, even when she did not know I was looking. Even before Stella had come. She was glued to Maya, who was again, glued to us, or to my brother, whom I was just like the blonde girl was following the now red-haired one, followed my brother everywhere.

Yes, I was once hanging out with Martin and others from the gang, with everyone with whom Chris was being until I decided that even though we look alike, we do not have to have the same friends, and stand the same people. I just did not feel comfortable around people whom Chris picked to be close with, so I distanced myself, but the girl who is now in front of me, studying my face, stayed with all of them, wanting so bad to blend it and escape the reality that was not outside, at this case, but waiting for her at her home, where her dad was hurting her.

She ought to forget all the disgusting things she was being done, to cover all the wounds by simple movements with brushes, a little foundation, and lipstick, following every step of the girl that turned her back on Stella when she needed her the most.

But thank God Chloe recognized her pain, and left Maya alone, scurrying to help the other friend that both of them neglected, deep in their problems and busy to make the perfect camouflage behind which they would then hide, just like my Stella was, learning the trick herself, to which process, just as I attending to Chloe's, I was to Stella's, too.

I clear my throat, coming back to my reality, "Before I called you she begged me to let her see him."

I blink away tears and shake my head when I remember the heartbreaking sight of her kneeling on the ground, sobbing and begging me to see the person who broke her heart in the first place, afraid that he could be in trouble, or alone needing someone to console him, even if currently she is the one who needs consolation.

"She told me that it hurt her so much and that she had to see him again because she was scared that he was not okay and could be somewhere drinking."

She just shakes her head, sighing unsure of what to say or do. Same, Chloe, same, but a little help here, I am desperate, and well a man. Guess, she was right when she insulted my kind. We really are dumb sometimes. Blind actually. Selfish even. Michael was selfish, I shan't be that.

"Okay, let her see him." Her response throws me off the edge. Then she adds the words that pain even my heart and I can imagine how Stella would feel if she heard them. "One last time."

"But what if that will not be the last time?", I ask her, desperate. "Do you think she is able to leave him for good? I have a feeling she will go to him and intent to be with him again even if he doesn't like... love her."

"That", she lifts her index finger and I catch her pink nail polish that unlike Stella's isn't chopped, "she will certainly do. But we have to make sure that it is her last time and that she doesn't humiliate herself more. I mean, she doesn't have to do anything with him!", she exclaims as if she was angry with Michael. And maybe she is. And slightly I think, I am as well.

Actually, more than I can and should confess. So angry that he dared to do this to her breakable heart that was on edge to break again, glued by the safety he gave her. And now that he is gone, her heart is broken all over again and she does not feel safe anymore. Not even in my arm, I can make her feel safe.

"Don't you mean that is a little harsh? I mean it is her life at the end of the day. She will hate us because we will forbid her to see him", I say, looking straight into her warm blue eyes, wondering if we are doing the right thing and if the right thing even exists.

If there is a right thing to do when someone's heart is broken. What do you do when you want someone's heart to heal and their pain to go away? What do you do when someone close to you is hurting due to breaking up with someone who did not love them back? Is there even an answer? A solution? Is it?

"Do you want her to hate us or him to break her even more until he kills her completely and we can do nothing?", she raises her voice, turning her body more to me. I blink, parting my lips, studying this option, but before I can process it, she starts speaking again." Imagine if she drowned that night... ", she trails off, unable to finish her painful imagination.

"He dug his nails too deep in her skin, that he made it bleed. Now she has to take care of those wounds, but instead of doing so, she still wants to take care of his. And he can't appreciate her kindness. He doesn't deserve her. He never did. I just don't know how I didn't see that he was hurting her this whole time... Not physically, but mentally, and that is way worse... ", she groans and pulls her hair aggressively.

"Hey, hey, hey! Chloe", I take her hands, stopping her from pulling her clear blonde hair that reminds me of Stella's. I miss it so much. But yet again it reminds me of Emily's, too. And I miss her, as well.

"It's my fault!"

"No, it's not! No, how can Michael being...", I stop before I can say something bad about him.

He was, after all, Stella's salvation at some moments, as well as he was her poison, he was the antidote at the same time. A remedy with side effects.

"It cannot be your fault, Chloe", I tell her softly, and pull my hands from her, remembering that it could upset her because of her father. "I blame myself, as well, but we could not do anything because it was her choice. We could not do anything until... We cannot do anything until she realizes that it is a wrong choice to choose someone who hurt her."

"So, you want to let her be hurt until she realizes she has to let him go? Myles", she shakes her head and her blonde locks dance from one side to the other, "she is never going to understand that. He manipulated her and now she is under his control and we have to pull her away from his strong arms that are choking her."

"Chloe, I want to do that so much!", I exclaim, though not so loud. I run my hand through my long hair and sigh before continuing to avert my gaze from her to the car wheel. "You don't realize how much I want her to stop bringing him up! But that isn't easy at all! It takes so much, so long to stop bringing someone up when they were your whole word. Hurting without them, not knowing how to live without them. When you wake up, they aren't next to you, when you want to call them, you realize you can't do so, when you go to school they aren't there, when you go to their house they aren't there, either...", my voice breaks and before I realized that I was crying, Chloe's arms wrap around my neck, pulling me closer to her.

"Myles..."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry", I sob, not being able to remove the image of Emily from my mind.

The image of her bright blonde hair with beach waves that she loved so much to rock, always braiding her hair in two braids and that was the reason she learned me how to braid. The image of her smiling while her crystal blue eyes shine under the sunlight and her full pink lips parted because she's calling my name. And when I stretch my hand to reach her because she turns on her heel, still smiling, and pulling her skirt, and runs, her petite frame vanishes, and her ashes become flowers, the ones that were always around her head, hanging as a wreath she loved so much to make. Every time we would go on a field she would leave her hair whole covered in flowers because of how big her love for them was, she wanted to drown at them, making angels as you do in the snow.

And those flowers also remind me of the ones I used to bring her and the wreath I bought her, though made of fake flowers, because she used to complain how the ones she would make always got ruined, so I gave her the one that was going to stay on her gorgeously blonde hair forever.

"It's okay. It's okay." Chloe smiles and takes my hands and I bet I look like a child while crying and sobbing like this...

I don't remember the last time I cried. I just know that I always hold everything in myself just like Stella. Actually, we are more alike than I thought. I hold worry for everyone around me and I spend nights wondering how to help them, and what I should do to stop them from hurting, but as you saw, my diary, I always end up being late and not being able to prevent anything bad from happening.

And I cry now. I cry for my twin brother, for how he is going to be angry with me and hate me until the end of my life as if he had not tried to end it himself. As if he had not been hating me before I reported him. He always hated me and I could never figure out why and what is that I did to him. I was suffering from my father's punches, just like he was. I tried to explain to him that could not treat women the way our father treated mom because she would leave hin just how momo left dad, but he never listed, thinking that I was his enemy, only wanting to beat him in the ring and take the win as well as everything else that ended not being mine, nor his, but dead because he killed it.

I cry for Stella. I cry because I couldn't stop Michael from hurting her. I decided to stop being with her and maybe if I hadn't done that maybe things would have been better now and she wouldn't have been broken, and in pain, suffering. I cry because she loves him more than she loves herself and wants to help him when he clearly can only hurt her, not appreciating her kindness, as Chloe has said beforehand. I cry because we had to escape and we are hiding now, scared that we will have to go back to hell once they catch us.

I cry for Klaus and Jimmy because they must be being beaten at the moment, while tears are entering my mouth, leaving a salty taste. Scott must be demanding from them to tell him where we are hiding. I cry because I brought them into this, not caring if they might get hurt.

And I cry for everyone else except for myself. Because even when I cry which is rarely, I do not cry for myself, but for others and think of how they were hurt because of lack of my caring.

"It's okay, Myles. Let it all out", Chloe's gentle voice comforts me, patting my back and I squeeze her tiny body as if it can make me feel better.

My sobs fill the car and she fondles the hair that I wanted to cut this morning but did not because the girl with pink highlights stopped me from doing so. "Shhh...."

I put my head on her chest, imagining that she was my mother who is comforting her son who fell and hurt his knee when he was playing football. I imagine that she was maybe my sister to whom I can show how bad I feel because I cannot hold all these worries for others anymore.

I may always look as if I have no problems in my life as if I can solve others' when instead whenever I see someone in pain I feel like it's personal. And now I cry for all the problems of the people I loved who entrusted me hoping I could solve their problems, but I did not. I cry for people who left from my life because I was not good enough in helping them or because I was too young to even listen to them, to their problems, so they never entrusted me, just like my mom.

And I cry to get all of this out of me, out of my unstable back that is wobbling and shaking from all the load of unsolved problems of other people that I'm carrying, secretes, including from which I cannot see my own. And all of this I am trying to let out on Chloe's pink T-shirt that is wet from my tears.

"Myles, don't worry. Stella is going to be okay. One day she is going to realize that you are the right one for her. That you are the guy who loves her back."

Before I move my head from her chest to look at her, confused about how does she know that I love Stella, a knock on the window startles us both and I quickly bounce back, my head immediately leaving Chloe's soothing chest that for a moment felt like my mother's even though I don't quite remember hers that well. I don't remember it all. I think she never hugged me and consoled me like this kind girl has been doing. Like the mother I never had because she left me and my twin while we were begging her not to, running after her, falling on the rough ground, and bruising our knees because we were still kids who barely learned how to walk.

Chloe turns to the window puzzled and I see Stella's face frowning and putting her hand on her forehead as if she's trying to see what is happening inside the car. Her black now straight locks make me feel odd since I am used to seeing them curled touch the window and I pull it down, revealing her best friend and me, but not before I make sure to wipe my tears so she does not see them.

She cannot see me breaking because then it will discourage her completely and I do not want that to happen. I have to be strong for her. I always have to remain the strong one so people next to me don't fall. I have to be the one who catches the persons who cannot stay still on their unstable legs anymore. And I do not mind being that person, although a minute ago I was kinda tired of that. But now when Stella's worried face came into sight it immediately pushed the black clouds and rain and made them vanish and make space for the sun to enlighten the previously wet territory and rainbow to paint the environment that used to be in all the shadows of black and grey. Now the colors that are painting it resemble her highlight- bright, neon, happy.

"What are you doing here?", exclaims with her high-pitched voice. "I have been waiting for you for an hour! I was so fucking worried they caught you, Myles!", she scolds me and my expression saddens and I part my lips, ashamed that I have kept her waiting just because I was crying like a baby.

I have to be stronger.

I get out of the car, wiping my nose, and making sure my eyes are clear, and Stella moves so Chloe can open the door and do the same thing as I.

"We are here! Don't worry!", her best friend consoles her. "In fact, I am the one who should be scolding you and maybe even strangle you." Her finger waves through the air in a threatening way. Stella frowns and I join their side, but the eyes of neither girl glance at me focused on each other. "You gave me so much worry, but now I just want to fucking hug you!"

And with that, the blonde girl who was shushing my upset self minutes ago throws her arms around her pink-haired best friend's neck and pulls her closer. She puts her head on Chloe's shoulder and her eyes find mine and I smile, trying to cover that I have been crying. I hope my eyes aren't puffy. But I cannot as she sees it clearly just how I see that she has been crying as well, due to her bloodshot eyes and dried cheeks with tears.

She, though, forces a smile and I just wish that one day she will be able to smile for real, forgetting about the pain all men in her life have caused her. Including me.

A/N

Thoughts of Myles crying and Chloe consoling him? I like this duo, you'll see more of it.