One Year Later:

The first thing i noticed in her office was the dead plant. Who the hell keeps a plant after it's dead? It's not that hard to just throw it out. It's all i could focus on. I just stared at it the whole time.

It reminded me of my old home. Not Hawkins, but before that. When my mom and dad were still together. When Sarah was still alive.

My mom had a massive rose bush in our front yard. They weren't the usual type of roses, they were bright pink. I used to watch her tend to it everyday whilst she was pregnant with Sarah. And when Sarah was born, we'd both watch her tend to it.

But when Sarah passed and my mom and dad grew further apart, i watched the bush get worse and worse every day. My mom had given up on it... Along with everything else.

Eventually the rose bush shrivelled up completely. My mom brought me to England not long after. We lived in a small flat, just the two of us for a year or two until she met Bill. He was nice but, it was obvious i wasn't in their "perfect future family" plan.

"Joy? Are you listening?" a voice said snapping me out of my day dream. I looked up and remembered where i was. "You know, you should really throw that out" i said pointing at the plant.

"So your not listening" she said. "All i'm saying is that, a therapist having a dead plant staring at her patients who may want to die themselves, isn't a good look. And it also shows that you don't care enough to get a new plant, so what if you don't care about your patients?" i asked with a small smirk.

"I'll be sure to get rid of the dead plant... Any other architectural critiques?" she asked. "Yeah. your office looks like a hospital. I hate hospitals" i said. "Really? Why do you hate hospitals?" she questioned.

"Does anyone like hospitals?... The only good thing about them is that they don't have dead plants in the rooms" i said trying to cover my smirk.

"Can we move on from the plant, please? How about we talk more about this trip your going on?" the therapist asked. "I'm going to see my sister in a couple days in California... There's not much else to say" i said.

"When was the last time you saw your sister?" she questioned. "A few months maybe. I went to visit her at Christmas... But i haven't seen her since" i said. "Do you miss living with her? With her and your dad?" she asked.

"I miss a lot of stuff about my old life back in Hawkins" i said. "Like what?" she asked. "Jesus, what is this, therapy or an interrogation?" i joked. The therapist sighed in disappointment.

"Joy, i do want to help you, but i can't do that if you don't open up to me. Your mother is worried. She just wants to know if you okay" she said. I scoffed.

"I'm fine. I don't need to be here. My moms just being a worried, control freak as always" i said as i began playing with my fingers. "It's almost the anniversary of your dads death, right? How are you coping? Are you doing anything special?" she asked.

I bit my tongue as i tried not to snap at the woman. "I don't want to talk about my dad" i mumbled. "Okay then... How are you feeling about college next year?" she questioned.

I rolled my eyes slightly. I did in fact get into Yale but i took a gap year due to "mental health" reasons. My mom said she thinks i wouldn't reach my full potential in college if i went in the state i'm in. The only people who know i got the scholarship are my mom and this therapist.

"I feel good. It's exciting going to college. And i can get away from my mom so" i said with a small laugh. She gave me a forced smile. "Your mother has been telling me you've been starting fights... Is that how you got the cut on your lip?" she questioned.

"Yeah, you should see the other guy" i said with a small laugh. She was not impressed. "Why did you start the fight?" she asked.

"It was just some bitch in my English summer studies class. She was talking about me. About stuff that's happened in the past when i used to live here... But i don't want to talk about it." She gave me a small smile.

"Well! Look at the time. That's the end of today's session. I'll walk you out" she said as we walked into the hall. When i walked out, i spotted my mom sitting on one of the chairs as she read a magazine.

She wasn't easy to miss. She was wearing a dark red, long dress with her freshly styled hair. She had dark red lipstick on and her makeup looked as if it was professionally done. Her nails were also painted red which matched with everything.

My mom was a very strong woman. She is from the rough side of Alabama which no England, fancy house and rich husband could hide.

"Hey sweetie, how was therapy?" she asked. "Progress is definitely being made" the therapist said with a fake smile. She was lying. It wasn't.

"Yeah, what she said" i mumbled. My mom paid for the session as we walked to her car. "Okay, now how was it really?" she asked as we sat in the car.

"Shit. Just like last week" i replied. "I cant believe i'm paying hundreds of pounds for this latte drinking, hippie to try and help my daughter and she's not even doing anything!" she exclaimed.

"Then don't make me go back! It's not working. I told you all of this!" i exclaimed back. "No, Bill says it's what's best. I need you to try and be a little cooperative with this therapy thing, Joy. Please" she said.

"I don't need therapy mom. I'm fine. Tell Bill i'm fine and then this will all be over" i said. "Really? Your fine? Spending every day in your room, on your own, doing nothing is fine?!" she snapped.

I rolled my eyes as put my headphones on. She grabbed them off of me. "Hey!" i exclaimed trying to grab them back. "If you won't talk to her then talk to me. What's going on, Bambi? Is this about Hopper? Or is it something else?" she questioned.

"Don't call me that" i said with a scowl. "So it is about Jim? Jesus Joy, it's been a year! I get you miss your dad but you have to move on. You need to do something with your life. Make him proud!" she exclaimed.

"I'm fine mom. Can we just please go home now? Please!" i mumbled. She shook her head as she reluctantly gave me back my headphones. I put them on and put the disk in my walkman.

"This song again? Really?" my mom asked. I gave her an annoyed look as i ignored her. This is the only song that reminds me of home. Of my friends... Of Steve.

As much as i love this song, there's a bittersweet feeling from it. I haven't been back to Hawkins since i left a year ago. I still talk to Robin a lot. I try to call her at least once a month. But i feel her drifting more and more away.

When i went to California for Christmas, i saw Nancy and Mike which was nice. Even though all Nancy and Johnathan could talk about was college which was the one topic i was trying to avoid.

The only person who is being consistent in my life is El. I call Eleven once a week, even though she prefers to send letters. It's a small relief knowing she fits in there. She always tells me about her friends, how she loves her new house and how much fun she is having.

Me on the other hand... I haven't been fitting in so well. Even though i used to live here and used to have friends, they all know what happened. They all know about Liz and the crash.

I've been trying to occupy myself with an English class for college students. It keeps me busy but i haven't been able to write anything for months. I have no inspiration.

When i'm not in class, i'm in my room. I hate that room. It's my mom and Bills spare room. I haven't decorated it because it's not my home.

I lived with Joyce and El for a couple of months. It was nice. But then my mom threatened Joyce with taking legal action to take me back and Joyce couldn't afford lawyers, so i was forced to go to England. I told her she could take me back to live in England, but i would never call it my home. My home was Hawkins. And that would never change.

There is one person in Hawkins who i haven't spoken to since i left and that is Steve. He hasn't tried to get in contact either. Except for a letter he sent a few months back. I still have not opened it.

I don't know why i haven't spoken to him. I didn't want to hurt him even more than i did. I wrote him a letter but i never sent it. I also asked Robin to keep giving me updates on him and she did.

He seems to be having a lot of fun without me. I'm glad he's happy. I just wish there could have been a chance of him being happy with me.

Once my mom and i arrived home, i looked around at the huge garden and the house towering above me. My moms house was five times bigger than our old cabin. It was even bigger than Steve's house.

Bill was a doctor so he earned a lot of money. I walked into the big house and was about to run upstairs until my mom grabbed my arm.

"We're having family dinner. And you are going to join us" she said with a fake smile. "I'm not hungry" i said trying to break free from her grip. She held my arm tighter.

"Joy, it's time to stop it with the angsty teenager crap. Your eating dinner with me, Bill and your siblings" she said. I reluctantly followed her into the kitchen.

As we walked to the kitchen, i saw Bill and the twins sitting at the table. My mom had the twins a few years back and i never knew they existed until i came home.

They are called Rose and Olivia. They are both very irritating. I slowly sat at the end of the table as i put my head in my hands.

"Joy! Your sitting with us for dinner?" Bill asked with a smile. I nodded as i put on a fake smile. "Yeah, she is so excited" my mom said. I don't know why she was so adamant on me getting close with her family.

She never tried to before. She's had years to try call me and try and have a relationship with me. I think the only reason i'm here is because when my dad died she felt guilty. That's why she dragged me into a life i didn't want.

"How was therapy?" Bill asked. "It was fine" i mumbled. "Joy, speak up" my mom snapped. "It was fine!" i exclaimed loudly. My mom rolled her eyes as she continued eating.

"Any progress? Are you feeling any better?" he asked. "I'm feeling great. Really great" i said. "Good! I have to say, it will be nice to have Joy back and not a ghost roaming around the house" he said with laughter. The twins and my mom joined in on the laughter.

I froze as he spoke. It reminded me of what Steve said. Why he didn't want to be with me. Because i was like a ghost. Because i wasn't Joy anymore.

"Do you know what? I'm done with this 'family dinner' bullshit" i said as i stormed off from the table. My mom ran after me as i ran upstairs.

"Joy! What the hell was that? You don't do that to someone in their own home!" she exclaimed. I turned around swiftly as i scoffed

"That right there! It's your home. Not my home. And you're there to remind me of that every second of the day, that i don't have a home! Now would you please, leave me alone" i shouted.

"Do you know what, i've put up with a lot Joy. A lot. But i am your mother. You have to listen to me and i'm telling you, that you need to get your act together. Suck it up like the rest of us!" she shouted back.

"My mom? Really? You only decided to be my mom a couple of months ago?! Other then that, it was just me and dad. So stop pretending to be mom of the year. Your not!" i exclaimed.

She shook her head. "Your father was nothing but a drugged up, alcoholic cop. And you think i'm worse than him? Think of why i left him in the first place!" she questioned angrily.

"He had his problems. But atleast he was there for me. At least he wanted me around! Unlike you, who sent me away so you could start your perfect life with your new family" i shouted.

"You know why you had to leave. You had to leave, because you got your friend killed. And your dad didn't want to take you back. He had too. Because he was the only one left who was stupid enough to think it wasn't your fault!" she shouted.

I took a step back as i took a shaky breath in and out. "It wasn't my fault" i mumbled trying to hold back my tears. "Really? You know why she crashed the car? Because you were drunk and made her drive you home after you... After you did what you did" she spat.

"I didn't do anything wrong... I just... I-" i began to say. "You kissed her Joy! You kissed her at that party, and she freaked out. The only reason she got in the car was to bring you home so she could get the hell away from you" she exclaimed.

A tear streamed down my face as i remembered that night. "Good talk mom... Good talk" i said as i walked into my room. I locked the door quickly as i put my hand over my mouth to hold in my sobs.

I climbed into my bed and put my headphones on. I grabbed my favourite disk and put it on. "It's been a long, long time" began playing as i closed my eyes.

I thought back to when i used spent every day with Steve. How i would force him to play this song every time we smoked in the woods.

Or how we'd watch movies in his basement when his parents weren't home. Or how scared he was around my dad. I missed everything about him. Everything about my old life.

I missed it all.