Chapter 4 | A Swing And A Miss

Song: Call me by Blondie

Quote:"Never love anybody who treats you like you're ordinary."-Oscar Wilde

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I grabbed my bag out of my locker and set it on the floor. I shoved my homework into the bag and grabbed my phone. I closed my locker door and picked up my bag and started to walk out of the school. It was Thursday, meaning I had to go to work.

Underclassmen rushed passed me trying to catch the bus that they were late for. I smiled to myself thankful I no longer have to be here after this year. I no longer have to chase busses, and eat awful food, or pretend to listen to teachers. I climbed into my truck and put my bag on the passenger seat.

I jiggled the key and my old truck roared to life. The school parking lot was mainly empty, except a couple of band students cars who had class after school, or teachers cars.

I pulled our of the school parking lot and onto the road. My work was about sixteen minutes away from the school. So it gave me no time to go home and change, I would just have to do it there.

I work at Mellys Creamery. It was usually not busy. And for a weak day I might be lucky if I get four customers the whole time I'm there.

I pulled into the parking lot of Mellys and grabbed my bag full of my work clothes. I stepped into the shop and was greeted with the cool air. The girl who has shift before me looked up and smiled at me. I have worked here almost two years and I have no idea what her name was. I don't feel too bad because I don't think she knows my name eaither. But we both look at each other smile and wave every day I have work . She handed me the keys and walked out grabbing her jacket. She walked out and that left me by myself. There was no noise other then the passing traffic that has no intention on stopping in on a worn out ice cream shop.

I locket the door and went into the bathroom where I changed into my work clothes. I slipped the red hat on my head and pulled my ponytail threw the back. I unlocked the door. I walked to the back of the shop and flipped threw the songs on the jute box. Looking threw the songs on the jute box usually consumed my time. I liked to look threw all the songs and play songs that I had never heard of.

After listening to a few songs, I decided to quit playing with the jute box. I looked up at the big ice cream shaped clock and saw that an hour has passed. Groaning out loud in boardom I got up and sat behind the counter. I started to wipe down the counter top, but it was already clean. I put the wash cloth away. I felt a buzz and I pulled out my phone.

I looked at the contact, and I was surprised. It was Jacob. I sat for a moment deciding if I should pick up the call or ignore it.

This was a special call, the kind when you try to ignore someone for a long time and eventually they stop calling. A special call, when you try to stop thinking of that person and for a long time you do, but then you can't help but think, what are they doing right now? And when they call every part of you is telling yourself not to pick it up. Because you know they are out of your life for a reason. You know you shouldn't because what possible thing could they say to make you change your mind about them? But you still end up picking up the call. Because it's a special kind of phone call, one you just can't ingore. A phone call where you can't just ingore the emotions boiled up inside you.

I slowly put the phone up to my ear. "Hello?" I choked out. It was light and almost like a whisper.

Jacob seemed suprised that I actually picked up the phone call. I could hear his breathing, he struggled for words to say. "Hello." I said one more time. This time it came out sounding annoyed.

"Umm...hey Clare." He stopped for a moment letting me hear all the noise behind him. I knew where he was but I tried to pretend I didn't know. I didn't want to know where he was, and what he was doing. But I did, and it made me sick.

"I just wanted to talk. About things." I rolled my eyes. If he wanted to talk he would have talked to me about things two years ago.

"Well, then talk."

"Listen, I know you know why I called. I'm not calling to confess my unconditional love for you. I know we moved passed that, but I still never told you why I did what-"

I was quick to interrupt him.
"You had two freaking years to tell me why you did that Jacob. What the hell makes you think I want to know now?" I did want to know why he broke my heart on purpose, but I don't want to give him the pleasure of knowing I still cared.

"Clare, I just couldn't. I couldn't face myself to tell you. But I can now. And I know you still want to know. You can't just forget something like that." He whispered the last part. I was on the break of tears. I wanted to scream, or break something, or just fall on the floor and cry.

"Your a god damn coward. You have no clue what that did to me. Why the hell couldn't you face yourself and just tell me? It shouldn't have hurt you any, your the one that freaking did it. No one put a gun up to your head. This is all on you." I put my back to the counter and slid down to the floor. I shouldn't have picked up the phone.

"I couldn't tell you because it just hurt me to damn much. It hurt me because I was not suppose to be the one to hurt you, I was suppose to be there for you. You weren't suppose to find out about it." The last sentence was almost in a whisper. His voice was pleading, pleading for something I just couldn't give him. Forgiveness.

"Go to hell Jacob. You knew what you were doing. And you couldn't even face me and tell me why." I was no longer upset, I was furious. He can't just say he never expected me to find out and think I would be okay with it.

"I couldn't face you because I didn't want to see the hurt in your face. I knew it was over...I-I just didn't want to fucking believe it."

"Oh my god, your unbelievable you know that? You can't ingore your problems and expect them to fix them self." He stopped for a moment before replying.

"What, like you do?" I could no longer hear the pleading in his voice. He was getting upset, but I don't care.

"Don't you dare tell me that! I'm not ingoreing anything. Im trying to move on." I stood up and stared to pace back and forth behind the counter.

"Well it doesn't look like your doing a good job, does it. Your still holding a grudge on me, and on your self. I don't blame you for being mad at me, but you have to get over that anger over your self." He sounded like he was trying to give advise to me like he was some close friend.

"Stop it. You can't tell me what I should and shouldn't do when you couldn't even be a fucking decent boyfriend." I lied. He was a good boyfriend. He would do anything for me. He would call me in the middle of the night just to talk to me. He would take me on dates at random times. He was there for me when I was down, he would do anything just to make me smile. But then he had to lie and hurt me.

He didn't reply for a while and I could hear the roar of people at UGFC cheer even louder. Jacob was a fighter. He wasn't some high class fighter, but he was a pretty good one. If he lost to someone he'd make sure to give the other fighter one hell of a fight. I may not have gone to all his fights, but he would always call me and tell me about a fight after he was done.

"Clare, I'm sorry." He sounded tired and out of breath. I heard someone in the background and Jacob snaped. "Shut up you ass. This doesn't fucking involve you. Get the hell out of here!" I thought his voice was angry towards me, but when he yelled towards the guy I knew how much he was holding back. Im guessing the guy got the note and left.

"Jacob I-"

"Listen, I know you hate me. Hell, I would too. But that doesn't give you a reason not to let me tell you why I did it. " I put my two fingers at the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes I saw a family in the parking lot get out of their car.

"I can't talk about this right now." I grabbed the ice cream scupper and got ready to hang up the phone.

"Just think about what I said. That's all Clare." I could tell he was ready to hang up the call but I had one more thing to say.

"Be careful Jacob. Don't get yourself too hurt." He paused at my suddan comment.

"How did you know where I was at?" I could tell he wasn't suprised that I knew.

"Jacob, I know you. You fight on anger. Plus, the people there are not exactly quiet." I softened up my voice a little. I could hear him chuckle in the background. At that amazing noise I wanted to run to him. I wanted to hug him and tell him I'm here for him. But I couldn't ever do that, not after what he did to me.

"Clare I didn't call you to get angry, I called you-"

"I know Jacob." He huffed out in exhaustion.

"Don't worry about me Clare. I'll be fine, just think about what I said." And with that he hung up the call.

That special call that somewhere deep inside you thought might make things just a little bit better, just turned out to make them worse. It made you want to pick up that phone again and talk to them even if all you did was fight. Because you just hoped that maybe you could go back to when things were better. Back to the days where you thought you could never lose the person closet to you. But that special call was over. And you just wish you didn't pick up the phone at all.

The family walked in laughing. There was a little girl with brown hair, and a little boy with blonde hair. The boy looked to be a little younger then the girl. I smiled and waved at them. One by one they told me what they wanted. The little girl was missing two front teeth so it was a little hard for her to pronounce what she wanted. But after a few tries I finally understood what she wanted. They left with their ice cream. After the family left only two more groups of people came in.

When my shift ended I locked the store and walked outside. By now it was a little chilly but not too bad. I put my bag back into the truck and walked around to the drivers side.

By the time I got home the sun had started to go down. I walked inside the house to see Sid on the phone with a worried look on her face. I looked at her confused but she just smiled and waved me off telling me things are fine.

I walked upstairs to my bedroom looking for something to do. I pulled out some of my homework, but decided I could do it later.

The only thing that was on my mind was the call with Jacob. We broke up two years ago and I don't want anything to do with him now. But it's not that easy. Even if someone breaks your heart so bad it changes you completely you still can't get the thought of losing them out of your head. But some how I did it. After what he did I'm not supprised, I was furious. But now I don't know what to do.

I picked up my phone and called Jackie. She would know what to do. It dialed for a few minutes before she picked up at the last second.

"Hey." I said into the phone as soon as she picked up.

"Hey Clare. What's wrong?" I laughed as she instantly knew something was upsetting me.

"Well today at work, Ja-" I was inturupted by her talking to someone.

"Yeah, order me a hamburger, no mayo. Sorry my mom decide to take me out to dinner. So what we're you saying?" I wasn't sure if I should tell her right now or just wait. I don't want to take time away from her and her mom. Things are going to change big time for her, and I don't think she needs to be thrown in my problems. Expshley, if she thought they we long behind me.

"Umm I was just saying that... some girl spilt a smoothe all over me and acted like it was my fault." I lied. I felt awful about lying to her. But she's been threw a lot and she shouldn't have to worry about me right now.

She started laughing. "Wow, did she at least get a discount. I mean if it was bad service like you..." I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever big mouth. It was all her fault. But I got to go, Sid wants me for something." I lied once more.

"Okay, talk to you later." I hung up the call and threw my phone on my bed. I sat on my desk chair and ran my fingers threw my hair.

No girl spilt a smoothe on me today. But it was the only thing I could think of. This stuff with Jacob is suppose to be long behind me, and Jackie shouldn't have to worry about me.
I stood up and walked out side onto the small baclany to my bedroom. The stars were hidden by large clouds.

Tomorrow I'm going home with Jackie. That's also where I'm going to see her dad. The rest of her family is coming Saturday. Jackie has been nonstop talking about this weekend. I smiled to myself thinking about how excited she was. But tomorrow didn't cross my mind as much as that phone call from Jacob did. Jackie was the only one I could talk to about it. I couldn't tell Sid anything, Ryan and Kora don't know the full story eaither. I'm not trying to hide it from them but I don't want to talk about it. Anyway, they are both probably doing something together tonight anyway. It's not hard to see they have feelings for each other. However they both are blind.

Jackie is with her mom, and I can't talk to Jacob about Jacob. So instead I just sat down on the chair outside and looked up at the sky.

The stars my have been hidden but the moon was out shining bright. I closed my eyes and let my head rest on my arm on the railing.

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And that my friends is chapter 4.

What happened with Clare and Jacob?

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