From the moment Kate got into Max's car she could tell something had changed for him, and that suspicion was only further confirmed as the date went on. When they arrived at the park and got out the car Max fumbled his keys and dropped them, giving Kate a wobbly smile and claiming the sun got in his eyes. She gave him a reassuring smile back. The sun was indeed beating down on them, but something told her that the sun wasn't to blame for his clumsiness.

He'd found a spot at the edge of the car park, so they only had a brief walk to find an unoccupied tree under which to sit for their picnic. Max opened the cool-box he'd brought along and set out a little spread as the two of them began to catch up on a summer's worth of time apart. Having done so much analysis on their relationship, Kate couldn't help but notice all the details that made this conversation different to the ones they'd had at the start of the school year when she'd been so smitten with him. It was jarring to see their roles reversed in so many ways; now it was Max who seemed to border on nervousness with her, not the other way around. It was him that now seemed shy and unable to meet her eyes at times.

Is this how I appeared to him before? Kate wondered to herself. If that was the case then how could he have not seen that she had feelings for him? His feelings for her were plain as day right now. The question weighing on Kate's mind, however, was how exactly they'd developed. But they were in the middle of talking about his hiking trip at the start of the summer, so she put those concerns aside for the time being. She was certain that her questions would be answered in time.

The food was eaten quickly, and they turned to people watching as time trickled by. Their conversation came easily, and if it weren't for the nervous energy Max was giving off Kate would've almost been able to forget this was a date. Throughout their talk about the summer, Kate deliberately avoided mentioning Sam. It felt like a strange secret, but one that she needed to keep for the time being. Sam had made it clear beforehand that he hadn't been in contact with Max for some time, so she supposed it wasn't too wrong for her to avoid talking about him. Still, it was hard; so much of her time at Greenfields, which she was currently telling Max all about, involved time spent with Sam, so she tried to keep to stories that revolved around her alone or with Eve.

She wasn't sure how long had passed when Max suggested a walk. Kate readily agreed, and waited alone by their tree as Max dashed back to his car to put the cool box away. When he returned, he suggested a lesser known path that wove through the edge of the woodland and began to lead the way. They crossed the field, skirting around groups of other people who'd come to enjoy the good weather, until they reached an almost hidden path that was marked only by a small wooden sign. It stretched ahead of them, dappled with sunlight that managed to burst through the trees above. As Kate and Max started on the path, which was plenty wide enough for two people, the hum of voices and occasional child's scream of excitement faded until it could barely be heard, and it seemed the two of them were utterly alone.

They walked side by side down the dirt path, taking each step slowly. They walked in silence for several minutes, and as they reached the end of the trail and leaned on the barrier overlooking a stream Kate stole a sideways glance at Max. She'd been waiting for this date for so long... but it felt wrong, twisted from the way she had always pictured it in her mind. This date had only served to confirm all the realisations she'd had about the nature of their relationship in the months prior. That it had been built on a weak foundation. And that although, yes, she had been the one to initiate that skewed foundation, Max also hadn't done anything to make it better on his side. In fact, if, as Kate suspected, Max had known how she'd felt about him, he'd made it much worse.

She sighed to herself. Max turned from the bubbling water in front of them to examine her face. Finding it unreadable, he met Kate's eyes and raised an eyebrow in questioning.

"Why did you ask me out, Max?" she asked. Suddenly afraid to look at him directly, she turned her gaze to the stream. Did she really want to know the answer? Or should she just suppress her curiosity? Regardless, it was too late now. The question was hanging heavy in the air, as if they both knew that the answer was more than an answer. When Max didn't reply immediately, Kate dared to look at him again and found that he looked thoughtful, almost guilty. Swallowing the hard lump in her throat she took a breath, ready to repeat herself, right as Max began to talk.

"I -" He paused, looking at her and pressing his lips together as he contemplated his words. "Kate, I've done a lot of thinking over these past few months, especially during the summer. I thought about the women I've been with and the subsequent disasters, and about how you were there to pick up the pieces of my broken heart every time." He rolled his eyes as if to acknowledge the drama of that statement, then looked at the ground. "At first I didn't think much of it – I just assumed you cared about me and that you were doing what any friend would do. And I guess it probably started that way, didn't it? Any decent person would help a pal out after a rejection. But over time I did notice something in your eyes, in your actions. How there was something else in the way you looked at me, the way you'd just listen and listen to me ramble on about it all."

Max paused and stared out over the water as if it could tell him what to say next. Kate sensed he wasn't done with his monologue, and though she desperately wanted to fill the silence between them, she didn't. Finally he continued, "I don't quite know when the switch flipped in my head, but at some point I realised that you were the first person I thought of whenever I had something I needed to work out, something I needed help with. Not just for relationships, but... for everything really. For a while I tried to pretend it was just a developing friendship, but eventually I couldn't deny that I had truly fallen for you. But did I ask you out like a mature adult? Of course not. I'd never had a relationship grow so slowly before and I didn't know what to do with it." He paused and sighed, "Frankly I've never even had a friendship like ours before. I've never had someone I could just open up to, someone would actually just listen to me, outside of my family. I guess it's a guy thing – we don't talk about our feelings a whole lot. Ha. Apart from right now apparently."

He suddenly pushed himself off the barrier, turning and taking a few steps away as he ran his hands through his hair. Max muttered to himself so quietly that Kate couldn't hear him over the rushing water and sat down on a bench a few feet away from her. He spoke slowly, as if choosing his words one by one, "Did I want to be with you? Yes. Was I terrified of losing what we already had? Also yes. I was scared of turning you from 'Kate – my closest friend' to 'Kate – just another failed relationship'. So, I kept treating you the way I always had. Simply a shoulder to cry on, and a thing to be flirted with while I pursued other options. It was wrong of me, to say the least.

"And then of course school finished for the year and we said we'd keep in touch over the summer. But as time went on, I could sense you changing. The way we talked was different. It wasn't bad, just different. How I could tell through texts when I hadn't seen you in person for over a month escapes me. The less you texted me, the more I missed you. I found myself just waiting and waiting for your name to appear on my phone. I suddenly realised what an idiot I'd been with you, that you were exactly what I needed in a relationship, and that if I didn't act then I was going to lose you to someone who would actually treat you the way you deserved to be treated." Max gestured broadly, "And so here we are."

"So here we are." Kate echoed, bridging the gap between them and sitting next to him on the bench. She hadn't expected such an in-depth admission of feeling from him. She took a moment to absorb everything she'd just heard. Max was unusually quiet as he gave her the time she needed, and although she was looking at the dirt beneath her feet she could feel his eyes boring holes into her as he waited for her response. The events of the past few months played like a film on fast-forward in her head. How a simple prompt from her mum to volunteer had led to so much change. Meeting Eve, who was walking proof that you shouldn't judge people on their first impressions. All the sage advice she'd received from Maria about her career and life in general. The fact that she'd finally moved on from Max not reciprocating her feelings, and the relief when their friendship remained steady. Moving out from her uni house and in with Eve. Her success in finding a new job, a new road to travel. Lastly she thought of Sam and a tiny smile involuntarily appeared on her face. So much had changed in such a short amount of time. Kate tried to erase the smile before Max could see, but he was studying her so intently that he spotted it before she could catch herself.

"You've met someone, haven't you?" Max said quietly. If Kate's smile wasn't already gone before, it definitely was now. "I'm not surprised. I knew something had changed between us. So you don't have feelings for me anymore? Why say yes to this date if that's the case?"

Kate gathered herself and looked him in the eye. She hadn't ever expected that she'd one day have to explain her revelations about their relationship to him. "To be frank, you were right about the way you treated me. I deserved better." Max winced a little as she said this but didn't deny it. She continued, "You were also right about me meeting someone. But that's not the reason I changed. When we first met I fell for you hard. That's not a healthy start to a relationship, but by the time I realised that, it was too late, I was too far gone. And I kept waiting for you to realise that I had feelings for you, that it was me that was always here for you when you needed me. It was me that had all these inside jokes with you. It was me that knew how to cheer you back up when you were down. I felt like there was everything but a neon sign above my head saying, 'hey this girl likes you!' but you still couldn't see it. It got to the point where I was so obsessed with winning your affection that it was practically a personality trait.

"But then I started volunteering and I met these amazing people. Long story short, they made me see how much I had to give just as me. That my self-worth wasn't directly related to how much I was willing to sacrifice for someone. It made me realise just how much of myself I was giving to our relationship and that it wasn't going anywhere at all... and that I was exhausted." Kate let out that phrase with a laugh that was closer to a sigh. "A relationship that starts with one person having to beg for the other's love isn't ever going to work out in the long run."

Looking over at Max, she saw he was no longer looking at her. He stared at the ground without seeing it, but she could tell he was taking in everything she said. After a moment, she carried on, "I had all these revelations and realised that I was ready to let those feelings for you go. I didn't ever want to lose your friendship though, and I think that's why I hadn't moved on before then, because I didn't really know what we had beyond this warped relationship we had going on. But I just couldn't keep going like that. It took time but I did get over those feelings, and those last few weeks of term were great. I finally had a true friendship with you, no strings attached.

"When you asked me out yesterday, those feelings that I thought I'd got rid of suddenly appeared again, if only a little. I suppose it was a lot of curiosity at that point. I'd been dying for you to take me out for so long that I couldn't resist saying yes, even if I knew it wouldn't go anywhere. I had to see if there was actually a chance we could be together after all. And... well I hate to be this blunt, but I don't think there is. It's been great seeing you again after those weeks apart, but there's no spark there, so to speak. I care for you, of course I do, but purely as a friend now."

Max looked up at her, quietly saying, "So this wasn't as much a date for you as it was... closure?"

"I hate to phrase it like that, but I guess you're not wrong. Like I said though, there was still a part of me that hoped it'd work out. But this whole time I've been waiting for that spark to come back, and it didn't." She met his eyes and gently said, "I hope you know it was never my intention to hurt you with all this. I just knew if I didn't come out with you today I'd always be wondering 'what if?'"

"Ah, Kate," Max replied with a sad smile, "I know you well enough that you meant no harm. I'm just sorry I didn't act sooner, and that I blew my chance with you. Whoever your new fella is, he's a lucky guy." Kate couldn't help but crack a shy smile at Max's subtle compliment, deciding to tell Max that her 'new fella' was Sam another time. That particular detail could wait. "I get what you mean about the 'what if?' by the way – regardless of the fact that it didn't go the way I thought it would, I'm still glad we did this."

He stood up and nodded his head in the direction of the trail, and Kate stood to follow him. They walked in silence again as each of them thought through everything that had just been said. Kate was relieved to feel that the lack of conversation wasn't actually awkward. They both had a lot to think about and seemed to recognise that.

As they approached the end of the trail and the field came into sight, Max said, "I hope this isn't weird to ask, but is there any way you'd consider still being friends after all this? I'd just hate for us to feel like we have to avoid each other at work when term starts again."

Kate smiled, having thought similarly, "Of course we can still be friends. Things may not have worked out between us romantically, but I don't hate you or anything. I know you weren't ever trying to be cruel. Your actions just weren't thought out particularly well. The fact that you recognised that says a lot." They crossed the field, reached his car, and climbed in, "As for work... you won't have to worry about awkward passes in the hallway. I actually handed in my resignation last week. I got a new job."

Max's head snapped around and his hand paused with his keys halfway to the ignition, "What?!"

"I just needed a fresh start! My roommate got me the job actually. Pays better than Five Oaks too." She said with a slight smile.

Max's keys still hadn't made it to the ignition, and as Kate saw his look of stunned amusement she laughed for the first time that afternoon, "It was one heck of a summer, Max."

The End

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Read on for my afterword!