I could not breathe.

I mean, I'm breathing but I'm so nervous, I feel like more air is escaping me than entering me. While the first stage of the auditions was just in front of the staff members, this audition was in front of everyone. I know singing and dancing live was a part of the job description but I didn't realize I would be dancing and singing in front of everyone now!

I snap out of my worry when I feel Annabelle clasp my hand, her thumb rubbing calming circles on the back of my hand. Even though we stay silent, I could feel her encouragement coming through. It calmed me, the gentle gesture helping me do my breathing exercises, especially when Hana walked on stage. I sat up straighter. While all I receive from Hana are nasty glares, I couldn't help but wonder where her talents lie. People call her a natural for a reason and I wanted to see how true that was albeit, a small subconscious part of me want to see her not live up to her name. 

Hana announces her name and immediately my nervousness comes back tenfold. It was as if the world suddenly became clearer and now, it just makes sense why people refer to Hana as a natural. Just her voice alone holds all the confidence in the world. It was as if Hana knew she was going to debut and this whole audition was just a little game to her. 

And then, Hana began to perform.

Every single person in the room was entranced. I could feel myself lean towards the stage, my eyes only seeing Hana. That's when it clicked. Sure Hana was seen as a natural but it was her skill as a performer that makes it seem like it. She's got the visuals, the body, and the skills for sure but it was the way she expressed these and use these assets of hers to really entrance an audience. She was like a reincarnated Jang Wonyoung, just not as nice.

"Jinah!"

I snap out of my reverie upon hearing my name. "Yes," I respond back in Korean.

"You're up!"

I shoot up out of my chair, Annabelle sending me the most intense stare I've ever seen from her. I stare back. We both knew I was going to kill this audition. 

I get upstage, the bright lights blinding me and a surge of confidence fills me like never before. Of course, I wanted to become an idol in the hopes of meeting my inspirations but now, after getting on stage, I also remember why I wanted to become an idol. I have the talent and the attitude to make it. I have the star power that makes me stand out against some random person. I was the perfect person this niche job needed to make it better. 

As the music starts and I dance and sing, my confidence only grows. Yes, singing 12 parts as one person is hard and it doesn't help that the song is in a higher register, but that doesn't deter me. Instead, it fills me with a sense of completing a challenge to prove myself better than others. Maybe it was because I watched Hana's performance but doing this audition now, I could practically see myself as a part of the girl group. I could just see myself debut this year. 

As I hit the final pose of the choreo, I'm all smiles. I couldn't control my facial expression and as I was doing my final goodbyes to the judges, my smile wasn't leaving my face. Even as I sat back down next to Annabelle, my smile wasn't going away. Not like I didn't want to smile for how good I felt performing, but I didn't need people to think that I was some stuck-up prissy little b*tch. 

I turn to Annabelle, my mouth open but nothing comes out. Annabelle's eyes are closed, her chest moving up and down very slowly. I turn back, leaving Annabelle to collect her thoughts when I feel someone tapping on my shoulder. 

I turn around to tell the person to stop when my voice gets stuck in my throat. "V," I finally breathe out. V's face was already close since he had to reach to tap my shoulder but he leans in closer. "V," I question, this time a little louder. I'm hypnotized in a way I've never felt before and instead of being repulsed by this menace being this close to me, I'm feeling way too confused. 

"You did great up there," he simply says before giving me one of his paparazzi smiles and leaving. 

I feel breathless. As if someone just asked me to be their date to prom. Only this time, it was on a bigger scale. V was a superstar and I was a trainee. I hate him.

Or... I should be hating him. I think... 

~~~~~~~~~~

Hello Hello~

So um, I promised my friend that I would write this chapter if she followed my trade Instagram and she did so this is how this chapter was made. I hope you all enjoyed it!

Song is Iconic - Aespa and while it wasn't explicitly stated in the chapter, I like to think that Jazmin felt iconic during her audition. 

Don't forget to vote, comment, and I'll see you all next time!

An extra thing: if you're into kpop, trading/selling specifically, I have a trade/sale account at queenanna_trades if you wanna follow!