TW: Cussing (please let me know if I forgot any!)

Virgil looked around, trying to find his car.

This was AWFUL. This was horrible, this was insane.

All that flirting was a lie, Virgil knew it, he could tell just by Roman's personality that he would flirt with anyone. It was a lie. Virgil's whole life was probably a lie.

Although it might be a good thing that it is a lie, because Virgil didn't want to think about the truth.

The truth was awful. He wouldn't think about it. No no no-

The truth is that you got to the doorway of the theater and then stared at the drama director like a lovesick dumb ass. 

WOW. Thank you, intrusive thoughts.

No problem.

He finally found his black Mercedes and turned the key. Only to find that it didn't turn on. He turned it multiple times and the car was just out.

No. Oh no no no...

Virgil groaned and slammed his head against the wheel. Oh please god, NOT TODAY.

He heard a light knocking on his window and looked over to see a man about his height with freckles and khaki brown hair. He beamed.

Virgil raised an eyebrow and rolled down his widow. "Do you need something?"

"Hi! I'm the English teacher, Patton. I was just wondering if you needed a ride. You seem to be out of gas there."

Virgil narrowed his eyes.

This man didn't seem like a conniving rapist, so Virgil was pretty optimistic. He hated accepting help but, he really didn't have another choice.

"...yeah, sure. Thanks."

Patton smiled even wider. It was like a shard of sunlight was trying to kill Virgil with kindness- Virgil almost wanted to reel back and hiss like a vampire.

When they got into Patton's silver Toyota, Patton asked, "Where do you live then?"

Virgil thought for a moment. "Well I'm supposed to move into my new apartment today with a roommate, so I live at [insert clever address name here]."

Patton gasped with delight. "OOH MY GOODNESS! I LIVE THERE TOO! You must be my roommate!"

Virgil blinked at him. "Oh."

"...Aren't you excited?"

Virgil tried to smile but it looked very forced. "Y-yeah."

Patton's eyes sunk. "Is there something wrong with me...?"

Virgil frantically shook his head. "No no no, nothing's wrong. It's just that I am a very antisocial person and you are really... sweet. Like, overwhelmingly sweet and kind..."

Patton took a moment to process this. "You want me to be mean, then," He joked.

"No! No, don't change yourself, just... I can manage to handle it I think. I'm just very antisocial."

Patton smiled again. "Okay, good- because as soon as we get home, I'm making cookies! It'll be like a little happy moving gift to ourselves!"

Virgil's eyes widened and he looked over at Patton. "You don't have any friends coming over to help you with moving, do you?"

Patton shook his head. "Nope."

Something seemed weird about that answer but Virgil couldn't quite put his finger on-

Oh.

"Do you have ANY friends...?"

Patton scoffed. "Of course I do!"

But Virgil could practically see him trying to think of one person.

Great. So Virgil's roommate was a repressive depressed optimist who probably thrives off of social interaction. Virgil's crush was an egotistical, most likely insecure theater nerd, who thrives off of making Virgil want to sink into the floor and hide forever.

Wonderful.