Jonathan King Jr.

            I sat on the edge of the bottom bunk in my cell reading over the letter for what felt like the millionth time; I still couldn’t wrap my head around the contents of it. I had just started building a relationship with my father over the past year but according to this letter that all came to an end; the letter announcing my fathers deaths felt like a twenty pound weight in my hands instead of the thin piece of paper that it was. Since my mother had moved me away with her when I was just two years old a relationship with my father had been basically nonexistent; we had talked on the phone a few times throughout the years but until I got locked up this last time we hardly knew anything about each other. To say that I was surprised when I got the first letter from my father would have been an understatement; why after twenty years did he want to be a part of my life now?

            I still didn’t understand my fathers sudden interest in getting to know me but from the letters that we shared over the last year I have grown to know the man that has been missing from my life since I was just a child; I was looking forward to finally being able to get to meet him face to face in a months time. Looking down at the letter in my hand once more it started to sink in that not only would I never get to meet the man face to face but I no longer would have his long thought out letters to read to help get me through the next month. Over the series of letters that we had shared within the last year I felt like I had grown to know him and connect with him more than I had with any other person in my life; even the relationship I had with my mother, the woman who had raised me from birth, I didn’t have the same connection that I was beginning to share with my father.

            We had more in common with each other than I had originally thought possible; we shared the same love for old cars, football teams, MMA fighting and countless other things. I couldn’t help but wonder how different my life would have turned out if I would have grown up on the farm with him instead of in LA with my mother; I had made more mistakes in my life than I could count on my fingers and toes growing up on the streets of LA, I have a feeling that getting in trouble on the farm would have been next to impossible. It’s not like I had a hard life in California with my mother I just chose to make bad decisions and was paying for them now; serving my third bit for distribution since I was just sixteen I almost felt more at home in prison than I did when I was actually at home. 

            Joining a gang at only fifteen my life had taken some unexpected twists and turns, I have done so many things that I regret daily and if there was a way to take them back I would do so without a second thought; after I started writing back and forth with my father I thought that maybe my life was starting to take a turn in the right direction. He had offered me a job working at Walker Stables with him once I was released but now that he was gone I could only assume that opportunity died right along with him; I didn’t know or have any relation with the Walker family, all I knew about them was what my father would tell me in the letters. My father had been working for their family for almost twenty years and bringing me in to work on the farm was something the owner had offered out of respect for my fathers loyalty to the family; I wasn’t expecting the job offer to still be available now that he passed so my only option now when I got released was to go back home to LA.

            I joined the Imperial 13 gang when I was just fifteen after being talked into how great of an idea it was by some of my friends; now six years later every one of those friends are either dead or locked up just like me. Joining a gang is relatively easy compared to trying to get out of one; to be honest the only way to get out of a gang was to disappear, if you were spotted in the area by a known member you either got yourself sucked back into the life or got yourself killed. Gangs had too much to hide to just allow members to quit and move onto other things, there was only two ways out of a gang; option number one, you served your time until you were too old to be of any use to them anymore or option number two, death; personally I was looking forward to option number three, run. I knew that the Imperial 13 gang didn’t have any connections or ties in Texas where my father worked so when he offered me the chance to move there and work with him I jumped at it; now that option was gone and I had no other choice but to go back to a life I wanted nothing more than to put behind me.

“What’s that man?” My cell mate Eric asked when he walked in and seen me holding the piece of paper that announced my fathers death in my hands.

“Nothing.” I replied flipping the paper over and laying it on the bed behind me; Eric had been my cell mate for over six months now and while we were on good terms with each other we never got into each others personal business so I didn’t figure he would care much to hear about my fathers death.

“Oh come on man, what is it? Release papers?” He asked before quickly reaching behind me and snatching up the paper before I had a chance to stop him; the cocky smile he had on his face when he reached for the paper dropped to a frown as he read its contents.

“Oh shit man, sorry.” He said handing the paper back to me; he stood there rubbing the back of his neck like he wasn’t sure what else to do or say.

“It’s cool man; I haven’t seen him since I was two anyways.” I replied leaning back on the thin mattress; I was trying to keep up a tough front because it was never good to look weak in prison but inside my heart felt like it was shattered, I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that I would never meet the man that I had actually grown to love over the last year.

“Didn’t you guys like write letters back and forth and shit though?” Eric asked taking a seat in the single chair we had in the small room.

“Yeah.” I didn’t really know what else to say; it’s not like I could sit here and have a heart to heart with my cell buddy.

“Well man at least you had some type of relationship with him, I don’t even know who my pops is.” Eric twirled a pencil around on the desk with his fingers like it was the most interesting thing in the world; hell in prison it was pretty to close to being exactly that.

“If he never wanted to be part of your life then you’re probably better off without him anyways.” I replied trying to turn the conversation away from my own father.

“Yeah, you’re right. So you’re getting out of here in less than a month, right?”

“Yep. Sure going to miss this place though.” I joked trying to lighten the mood.

“Yeah I mean where else are you going to find comfortable beds like these, rooms with toilets and let’s not forget the views.” He said pulling a piece of peeling paint of the wall with a chuckle.

“Oh don’t even get me started on the five star meals; I’m going to miss those the most.” I added as we both started laughing.

“Shit man, I’m really going to miss having you around.” He said slapping my shoulder before crawling onto the top bunk.

“Oh I’m sure you’ll get a new roommate just as wonderful as me; with any luck maybe one that doesn’t snore as loud.”

“You’re right; I definitely won’t miss the snoring.”

“Lights out!” A guard called from down the hall; we bid each other goodnight and I flipped off the built in lamp on the wall before lying down.

            I stared at the peeling paint that covered the concrete block wall next to me as I thought more about my father; there were so many things that we had planned for when I got out and now that he was gone I wasn’t going to be able to share any of them with him. We planned on going to see our first Cowboys game together at Cowboys Stadium, the upcoming MMA fights in Dallas just a few months after I was to be released, hell I even agreed to go to a rodeo with him even though I had no interest in bull riding at all; I had this whole new life planned out for myself, a fresh start in Texas with my long lost father, now I was left questioning what I was going to do with myself when I got out. As I thought about my fathers death  I allowed a single tear to fall from my eye before quickly wiping it away with the back of my hand; crying in prison was not acceptable it didn’t matter how good of a reason you had, you just didn’t cry in prison. For now I would have to stay strong, time to grieve over my father would have to wait until I was released; once I wasn’t stuck in the concrete cell surrounded by other prisoners who were just waiting for a reason to find your weak.

            The next few weeks went by in a blur; being in prison you got yourself into a daily routine and days seemed to all blend together at times. It’s not like being on the outside where you had work Monday through Friday and had the weekends free to do whatever you wanted, in here you did the same exact thing day in and day out; get up, shower, eat, work out, eat, paced around your cell for hours, eat, sleep and then get up the next day just to do it all over again. We were in lock down for someone getting in a fight in our cell block when one of the guards came around with our mail; when my father was still alive I looked forward to this time of day but now that he was gone I wasn’t expecting any letters, its not like my mother ever took the time to write me anymore, she was too busy with her life and new boyfriend to care much about her delinquent son.

“King.” The guard announced standing on the outside of the cell holding an envelope; I sat up in bed confused before walking over to take the letter from him.

            Looking at the return address it was the same as my fathers had always been but the name listed wasn’t Jonathan King Sr. like it normally was, instead it read Thomas Walker. I knew from my fathers’ letters that Thomas was the man he had worked for for the last twenty years and I was surprised and confused as to why I would be getting a letter from him: I went back over and sat in the chair by the desk to open the letter.

Jonathan,

            I would like to start by introducing myself; I am Thomas Walker, owner of Walker Stables. Your father Bubba had worked for me and my family for nearly twenty years and not only was he a loyal employee but also a part of our family. I am writing first of all to offer you my deepest condolences for your loss; your father was a great man and I’m sorry that you never truly got the opportunity to know him. He has talked a lot about you over the years and I want you to know that he was really proud to have you as his son, even though the two of you didn’t speak much over the years you should know that he spoke of you and thought about you all the time. Bubba was one of the greatest men that I have even had the privilege of knowing; I’m not sure how much you really know about your father but he was loyal, loving and one of the kindest men to ever walk this earth. We had spoken recently about you coming to work on the farm with him once you completed your sentence and I am writing to let you know that the offer still stands. If you are anything like your father it would be an honor to have your presence here with us; I understand completely if you are not still interested in the job but my family and I would still like the opportunity to meet you some day, you are kin to Bubba therefore you are kin to us. Bubba spoke very highly of you and even though you have made some mistakes in your past he believed whole-heartedly that you were on the path to a better life; I would like you to know that my family and I will always be here to help you in any way that we can. I hope that you will still accept my offer for a job and I hope to hear for you soon whatever you may decide.

                                                                                                Thomas Walker

            It took everything I had not to break down right there on the desk; the way that this man spoke about my father just made me hate the fact that I never got to know him even more. I always knew that my father was a good man but to have someone else put it into words shed a whole new light on just how great of a man he was; even though he was not blood to these people they still thought of him as family and that alone says a lot about a person. The letter said a lot about Thomas Walker and his family too; the fact that they were still willing to accept a convicted felon into their home and offer him a job with no questions asked was mind-blowing. I had blood relatives that wouldn’t even speak to me anymore because of the things that I’ve done and here was a family that has never met me yet are still willing to accept me into their lives knowing my past; maybe it was just southern hospitality but part of me told me it was something more, like my father was still looking out for me from heaven offering me the second chance that I desperately needed.

            I knew that this was the chance that I needed to start my life fresh and get on a better path and I wasn’t about to pass it up; I immediately got to work writing Thomas back to let him know that I would accept the job and thank him for the opportunity. I was determined to make this work and not waste the opportunity that was offered to me to make a better life for myself; I would do everything in my power to turn my life around and make my father proud. Even though he was no longer here to see me succeed I could only hope that there really was a heaven and he would be up there looking down on me and be pleased with the things I planned on accomplishing.

            Through a series of a few more letters between Thomas and myself we worked out a plan for when I was released; Thomas had made arrangements with a couple of different bus companies so that my tickets would be waiting for me when I arrived; luckily there was a bus that came right by the prison daily so my first stop was just a few blocks away and I wouldn’t have a problem walking there. I didn’t want to step foot back in LA after I was released; not only was I no longer interested in having a relationship with my mother after she all but forgot about me when she started dating her new boyfriend but I also wanted to stay off the radar so that I wasn’t sucked back into a life with the Imperial 13 gang. The trip would take over seventeen hours if you were to just drive straight through but having to deal with the bus schedules for me it would be a two day trip; I didn’t mind though, the bus seats were more than likely more comfortable than the thin lumpy mattress I was used to and I knew a better life was waiting for me in Texas so even if it meant riding on the top of the bus I would still do it without a second thought.