Lina’s POV

            The sound of the alarm on my phone going off woke me up the next morning; my head was pounding and I wanted nothing more than to just throw my phone at the wall to shut it up and go back to sleep. I knew my parents would ring my neck if I even thought for a second about skipping church; it was a requirement for the entire family and I knew that even if I tried to fake sick I would never be able to talk my way out of going. I was instantly regretting getting as drunk as I did last night as I sat up on the cot and tried to regain focus; my vision was still blurry and it felt like the room was spinning around me for a few minutes before everything went back to a semi-normal state.

            I slipped on my boots and made my way out of the barn to go back up to the house; when I saw my truck was in its normal spot in the driveway my mind floated back to the reason why I got so drunk last night. When I had walked in to see Sally all over Jon I wanted nothing more than to walk over and grab her by the back of her sluty tank top and pull her off of him; I almost found myself doing it before I regained some sence of normalcy and realized that I had no claim over Jon. No matter what I thought about him, no matter how much I liked him, I had no claim over him; hell, he didn’t even know that I had feelings for him and if the last week told me anything it just proved that he didn’t have feelings for me.

            I thought that the night he held me close on the Ferris Wheel at the fair that maybe he might have felt the same way about me as I did him but I was clearly just entertaining a fantasy; the whole next week it was almost like he avoided me like the plague and knowing that I needed to create space between us I started avoiding him too. I don’t know what happened to me when I got around him but I all of a sudden found myself flirting with him and checking him out every chance I got; it was stupid of me to do those things and every time I caught myself doing it I just wanted to punch myself in the face for being so stupid. Clearly there was nothing between us other than friendship but for some reason I couldn’t get my mind wrapped around the fact that that’s all it was; in my own little fantasy world that played in my mind we were together, he liked me as much as I like him and one day we would start a life together and have a family.

            I needed to just pull myself together and get it through my thick skull that there was nothing between Jon and me; no matter how much I wanted to have a relationship with him it wasn’t going to happen. Walking in the house was still quite and as I made my way up the stairs I could hear the shower running in my parents room; I quickly ran into my room and into the bathroom to start my own shower in hopes that my mom would think that I had been there all night. While I showered I allowed my mind to clear away any thoughts of Jon and by the time I was finished I finally felt like I could focus on something other than the sexy man down at the barn and what he surely did with Sally last night. By the time I was dressed and ready my mom was calling me down for breakfast; when I got to the bottom of the stairs my parents and Jon were already seated at the table in their church clothes.

“Mornin’ Kit-Kat.” My father greeted as I made my way to my seat next to him; it just so happened to be between him and Jon and I offered Jon a quick smile on my way by. Just seeing him again had my mind going crazy; I couldn’t help but think about him with Sally and as much as I didn’t want it to it just pissed me off.

“Mornin’ daddy.” I said back sitting down in my seat and playing aimlessly with my napkin to try and keep my mind and focus off of Jon.

“Your momma and I have agreed to go out shoppin’ with the Millers after church so you and Jon should ride together today.” My father said as my mom brought in the last of the dishes and we all started to load our plates; well so much for trying to keep my mind off Jon for a while.

“Ok.” I replied before digging into the biscuits and gravy.

            My mom started talking to Jon about how things were going so far for him on the farm and they fell into easy conversation with each other for the rest of the meal; my dad joined in too and I did my best to just stay out of the whole conversation. I just wanted to get breakfast and church over with so that I could go hide out in my room for the rest of the day and drown in my own sorrows; it wasn’t normal for me to be feeling so upset about Jon and Sally but I just couldn’t help it, it didn’t matter if he didn’t like me it still didn’t change the way that I felt about him. When breakfast was finished we said goodbye to my parents as they headed off before making our way to my truck so that we could follow behind them to church.

“So you and Sally have a good time last night?” I asked once we started the trip down the driveway; I told myself over and over that I wouldn’t bring it up but the moment we were alone together the words just seemed to flow out of my mouth without my control. At least I was somehow able to hide the anger I was feeling from my voice; I would assume that it would be awkward for him if he knew that I was jealous.

“Uhh… I just dropped her off then came home.” He said rubbing the back of his neck with his hand; I wanted to believe that was the truth but I heard him pull in last night and it was hours after he had left the party so something had to keep him busy for a while and I knew it was Sally.

“So you’re one of those don’t kiss and tell kind of guys, huh?” I asked trying to make it sound like a joke but it was far from it I really just wanted more information.

“No, I did kiss her but that’s as far as it went.” He leaned his head back on the seat and let out a breath like he really didn’t want to talk about it anymore; I wanted to push for more information but I didn’t want it to seem like I was obsessed about what happened. I wasn’t obsessed, was I?

“Oh.” Was the only reply I could think of and the rest of the ride was in silence.

            Church went by the same way without either one of us speaking a word to each other and the ride back to the farm was just as awkward; I never wanted it to be weird between us, we had always got along well and were never uncomfortable around each other. I guess me opening my big mouth about what happened with him and Sally last night just ruined that; I wanted nothing more than to just rewind time and take it all back, I wanted to go back to the way we were together just a few days ago or last night at the party before he got up to get a drink. I tried to think of something to say to break the silence but my mind was drawing blanks; he didn’t seem to have anything to say either so the whole ride was silent other than the soft hum of country music coming through the radio.

“See you tomorrow then?” Jon asked as I pulled the truck into my spot and cut the engine.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” I replied offering him the best fake smile I could muster before getting out and making my way back up to the house.

            I went up and locked myself in my room not planning on coming back out unless absolutely necessary; I didn’t plan on even leaving to eat dinner, hopefully my parents would buy the ‘I’m not feeling well’ excuse that I planned to use on them. My mind was going crazy with thoughts about Jon; I wanted to believe him when he said that he didn’t sleep with Sally but I knew what type of girl she was and I couldn’t see him leaving her house without sleeping with her first. God, why did it bother me so much? It’s not like we’re together; he doesn’t even like me for Christ sakes. So why did I feel like my heart was hurting at the thought of him being with someone else? As much as I tried to clear my mind of thoughts of him I just couldn’t bring myself to do it; before I even realized what was happening I found myself standing on the top landing of the barn knocking on his door.

“Hey, what’s up?” Jon asked when he answered the door; he looked stressed about something and I couldn’t help but wonder what it was.

“I…umm…” Shit, why the hell was I even here? I didn’t even register the fact that I had walked down here and up to his apartment until I knocked on his door; what the hell was I supposed to say? I looked up to see him staring at me with his eyebrows raised waiting for me to continue.

“I got bored.” I said hoping that he would accept that as the reason why I just showed up on his doorstep.

“Well I’m just watching some TV, you want to join me?” He asked moving to the side so that I could enter.

“Yeah, thanks.” I replied as I walked in and made my way to the couch; we sat there in silence for a few minutes before he spoke up.

“So uh, sorry for leaving you at the party last night.” I glanced over to see him leaned forward with his elbows braced on his knees looking at the floor.

“It’s fine; I told you to, remember.” I replied hoping that he wouldn’t feel so bad about it.

“I came back to get you but you were already gone. It took me a while to find Juniors house again and once I got there I walked around for about a half an hour looking for you before I found Junior and he let me know that you had already left.” Well that would make sence on why he didn’t get home until hours after he left; I didn’t even think about him not knowing his way around or the fact that he would have went back to look for us after he left Sallys; maybe he really was telling the truth about nothing happening.

“Yeah we only stayed for like forty-five minutes after you left; Jen and I started playing ‘I have never’ with tequila and it didn’t take long before she started throwing up.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little at the memory of Jen hanging her head out the window of Jerry’s truck as we took her home; her and tequila never got along very well.

“Tequila, really?” Jon shuttered at the thought of drinking straight tequila before continuing. “What were you thinking?” He shook his head and chuckled looking over at me for an answer.

“It sounded like a good idea at the time.” I shrugged my shoulders and he reached over to mess with my hair.

“Tequila is never a good idea.” He replied.

“I realize that now. Do you know how hard it is to go to church hung over?”

“Well I have a hard enough time staying awake when I’m sober so I could only imagine.” He wasn’t lying either I had to nudge him to keep him awake multiple times over the last few weeks at church.

“One of these days my mommas gonna’ catch you noddin’ off and you’ll earn yourself a swift smack to the head.” I warned him knowing that my mom wouldn’t stand for someone sleeping in church.

“Let’s just hope that never happens.” He said with a chuckle. “So did you get in trouble when you went in this morning?” He asked.

“No they were still gettin’ ready when I went in so I was able to sneak in without them noticin’; I think that they thought that I had come in last night because momma didn’t say anything to me and usually I would’ve gotten an ear full.”

“I knew you must have been pretty lit when I found you sleeping in the tack room again; I thought for sure that I was going to have to hear your mom laying into this morning at breakfast.” How did he know that I was sleeping in the tack room; was he checking up on me?

“Aw Jon were you checkin’ up on me?” I asked grinning at him.

“Had to make sure that you made it home alright.”

“And if I wouldn’t have been in there then what? Would you have snuck in my house and checked my room?” I asked curious to see how much he really cared.

“And have your daddy shoot me? Hell no! I would have just called you to make sure you were home and safe.” He replied sitting back on the couch and kicking his feet up on the coffee table; it was nice to be able to fall back into easy conversation with him and all the awkwardness from earlier was gone.

“Smart boy! So what kinda’ grub you got in this joint?” I asked standing from the couch to rummage through his cupboards. 

“First of all I’m a man not a boy; secondly you better keep your paws off my Oreo’s!” He warned at the same moment my eyes landed on the box of cookies; I smirked to myself as I grabbed them and ripped the fresh package open stuffing two of them in my mouth before I made it back to the couch.

“What was that, I didn’t catch what you said?” I said through a mouth full of chocolate and cream.

“You little…” He trailed off as he dove across the couch trying to get the box of cookies back from me.

            We spent the next thirty minutes wrestling over the box of cookies; I managed to get about five more before he got a death grip on the box and started to guard it with his life. Every time I would reach for another cookie he would actually growl at me like a dog and raise his lips over his teeth; I would shake my finger at him telling him ‘bad dog’ and he would proceed to snap his teeth in the air like he was going to bite it off. We did this for another fifteen minutes before I changed tactic and used my best puppy dog face and begging techniques to talk him into sharing with me; hours later we were both in a cookie coma and I had to pry myself off the couch to go home. The smile never left my lips as I made my way back up to the house; we were back to normal again and even if I couldn’t be with him like I wanted to at least we could still be great friends and things weren’t uncomfortable between us anymore.