For the entire month of waiting for their results, it is a month of peace. At least, to Baekhyun it is. No more stressing, no more studying, no more late nights, no more spending so much time with his professor, even though he still wants to.

And when he's apart from his professor, he's able to think clearly, objectively, and without feelings attached. And then he's able to reason his sadness away, or, at least, push it down until it's suppressed and crushed.

Every time he sees his professor with his best friend, they're always holding hands, because yes: they had begun dating the day Baekhyun got drunk, and Chanyeol had wanted to announce it to him that very night he walked away.

EX'ACT Laboratory had exploded into whispers and gossip, but most of them have been supportive.

And just like them, Baekhyun is supportive too, pushing down every horrible feeling that wells up inside him every time he sees them. Of course, this makes him feel on edge, as if he's about to explode from hiding half of himself, and then pretending to be someone else.

But not being near them is helping him a lot, giving him a breath of air, and actually allowing him to breathe. Even though recently not being able to see (and specifically be in contact with) the doctor or his professor is making him feel colder inside, that's something he's willing to accept as long as he can stop hurting and stop being selfish. It's strange, how he would never have known how cold he actually felt until he met the two of them. And even though every day his body naturally craves for the warmth, he refuses to inch closer to them, and wonders every day whether he wouldn't feel like this if he never met them.

Maybe this is his own way of punishing himself.

Strangely enough, he's so okay with them dating during the day that he would tease Dara about it, ask Dara about it, smile and laugh genuinely about it. And strangely enough, some nights he would lay awake, wondering how he could ever have summoned up the energy and sincerity to truly be happy for her.

Two of his conflicting sides are acting at different times of the day – During the day, he would be the him that is happy and supportive, during the night, he would become frustrated and angry and feeling terribly cold.

One day, as he is walking to find a place to sit down and read, he hears the announcement calling all trainees to a certain place. Thinking that they had decided to announce the results early, Baekhyun's heart races as he walks towards the destination, thinking to himself that he's not ready to leave this place yet.

Not yet, not when he still hasn't got his feelings under control.

He finds Dara amongst the group and he quickly walks over to her, tapping her on the shoulder.

"I wonder why they called us here ..." Dara mutters. Baekhyun takes a deep breath and grabs Dara's smaller hands in his.

"Thank you for taking care of me this whole time, noona." Baekhyun says genuinely. "Please promise me that you'll take care of yourself, and of Professor."

"What are you saying, Baekhyun?" Dara looks shocked. "Don't say that, you're going to get in."

"I really ... don't think ... anymore ..." Baekhyun mutters, exasperated. "Let's not talk about it." Tapping Dara's hands quickly, Baekhyun lets go with a smile. "So how's life?"

"Life ..." The older stares at Baekhyun, concerned, but in the end she sighs. "is sweet. I got a best friend, I got a lover ... I think it will be completed if I make it to the final two."

"I'm glad you're happy." Baekhyun says softly, smiling brightly. "I hope your life becomes complete."

Before Dara can reply, one of the Professors stand at the front to speak.

"Hello trainees. This will be a short announcement." The man speaks. "One of the trainees, named Park Seho, has been reported to have cheated in many of his exams and tests." All heads turn to Seho, who is right in front of Dara and Baekhyun. Baekhyun can hear whispers, glares, horrified looks, and even though he should be one of those people, instead he feels sympathy, because once he had been the target of that sort of attention too.

"I didn't, I swear." Seho shouts.

"Cheating on multiple occasions. Messing the results of others. Using connections to climb to the top." The professor continues. "Take him away." Seho is attempting to resist, and Baekhyun is a little lost at all the ruckus, and because Seho is right in front, his resistance against the people taking him away is affecting him, as Seho's arm nearly hits Baekhyun if it weren't for Dara who drags him away just in time.

"I was framed!" Seho shouts again. "Framed!" Then he is gone.

"Because of this incident, it has deeply interfered with our scores, therefore, you must wait at least one more week until the results can be announced.

"Until then."

Once again, everyone files out, whispering madly. Baekhyun doesn't talk, staring at the ground as he follows the crowd outside. Dara probably understands his feelings and doesn't bother to bring it up.

"Hey, how about I give you a surprise?" Dara suddenly links arms with Baekhyun, as if sensing his feelings. "Come with me!"

Baekhyun blinks but follows her lead. On the way, Dara sees her professor and she lets go, bowing deeply at him before pulling Baekhyun away again.

"...?" Baekhyun blinks, confused, at Dara's conduct towards her professor.

"That's the code of conduct around here, didn't you know that? For trainees to bow to their trainers." Dara says. "I always thought you didn't bow to oppa was because he was just a nice person but ... do you just not bow to any staff here?"

"Am I ... supposed to?" Baekhyun asks slowly, gulping.

"Of course you are! If not the others, then definitely your very own teacher!" Dara hisses. "But I guess it's okay, since not being formal means that you're closer ... besides, it's cute that you call oppa Professor. No one calls their trainers that." Before Baekhyun can reply, Dara is shouting.

"Oppa!"

Baekhyun immediately wants to say bye and run away, but it's too late now, because those sparkling eyes have rested on them, and Dara is holding onto him too tightly.

"Hey." Dara says as she finally lets go of him. Baekhyun doesn't fail to notice the way his arm reaches out to take her in by his side. But now that Baekhyun's free, he won't waste another second here if he doesn't have to.

"Little one." Chanyeol calls out, his other free arm reaching out, as if ready to take Baekhyun too to his side. But never again is Baekhyun going to come in between the two of them.

Instead, Baekhyun takes a deep breath and bows down deeply.

"Professor." He calls out softly, and when he lifts himself back up, he sees the smile frozen on his professor's lips. Unsure of what that means, and not keen on finding out, Baekhyun turns around and rushes off.

Planning to go back to his room to have time to himself, Baekhyun shoves his hands in his coat pockets and walks slowly, head down. But on his way, he hears a familiar voice.

"Tell him that it'll be soon. Should be done by results." Doctor? Baekhyun doesn't like eavesdropping, so he decides to continue walking and turn to see just what's happening. But when he does see what's happening, he only sees Yixing by himself, hands shoved in his pockets, as if he had been muttering to himself.

Finding it strange, Baekhyun doesn't do anything, and instead walks on, wondering what Yixing meant by that.

But then suddenly, something moving presses him up against the wall, tightly, suffocating him. Baekhyun would shout but there's no point because there is usually no one walking in this hallway anyway. Baekhyun's breath is caught in his throat as he stares up at the person that had so roughly pushed him, and the strange lighting reflects the blue off the man's eyes.

The expression looks so sharp, so deadly that Baekhyun at first doesn't recognize that it's Zhang Yixing.

And compared to all the other times that Zhang Yixing had touched him, this time the touch is aggressive and painful, where the older's entire arm is pressed up against Baekhyun's upper chest, so hard that he can hardly breathe.

The lights flicker spastically and then the room goes dark completely. In the dark, Baekhyun notices Yixing blink in surprise, where some of the anger dissipates. And just like that, Yixing lets go of him by pushing him away, and a small sound escapes from his lips at the hard impact of the force.

Heart racing, Baekhyun thanks the short power outage for saving him, feeling safe in the darkness. As if reflective of his feelings, the lights flicker back on later, and Baekhyun hurries away, feeling as his skin is on fire.

A few days later, a line of bruises adorn the parts of his skin where the doctor had touched. Baekhyun wonders just what he had eavesdropped on that had made him react like that.

He doesn't trust me.

The answer is that simple. The doctor is of course involved in top secret discoveries, and will of course naturally feel threatened at the presence of an eavesdropper. Even if Baekhyun had not meant to, he may have seemed as if he did mean to. After all, the place in which the doctor was speaking is not a place that one frequents, but Baekhyun is just one of those who appreciate complete peace and quiet a bit too much.

Even though he knows he shouldn't feel like this, Baekhyun still somehow ends up feeling gloomy as he winds his towel around his neck and sits on his bed, upper body naked. Strangely, even though he loves the peace and quiet, loves the buzz in his ears because he doesn't communicate with others often anymore, doing this seems to be digging a deeper hole inside his heart. Silly him, to let loneliness get to this level, until even he is beginning to crave the doctor's presence and touch.

Right now, in this sudden change of weather from a normal cool day to a sudden freezing cold night, the only warmth Baekhyun can find is the towel around his neck. But as soon as he thinks that, the towel falls from his neck, brushes across his back, and then onto his bed.

Sighing, Baekhyun takes out a long-sleeved shirt from his drawer. As he puts it on, he remembers that his professor doesn't usually take care of himself even on freezing cold nights.

It'd be strange if he doesn't catch a cold.

Grabbing the thickest of coats he can find that he owns, in the process not realizing that he's neglecting himself, Baekhyun puts them in a bag and leaves his room. The outside is like a blast of cold air compared to the inside of his room, and Baekhyun tries not to shiver as he rushes towards room 530 as fast as he can. Once he gets there, he opens the door. At that moment, his heart is beating so fast and at that moment, he's willing to accept his feelings for his professor, embrace them wholeheartedly, if it meant he can see him again.

But he's met with an empty, cold room.

Maybe he's gone out to do something. Shivering a little too crazily, Baekhyun quickly lights up the fire, and then stands near the door, waiting for his professor to come back. Even though it's warmer now, it's still cold, and Baekhyun leans against the wall, deciding that he'll only hurry home and be warm soon once his professor returns.

He waits for so long that eventually he falls asleep standing up.

Then he wakes up because of the cold. When he checks the time, he finds that it's been two hours but Chanyeol still isn't here. He's so cold that his fingers are frozen, because it's so cold that even the fire isn't enough to warm him anymore. Instead, Baekhyun writes a note to his professor, placing it on his desk before setting the bag of coats on the seat. Adding more wood, Baekhyun decides that it'll be enough to last the night, and then he goes back to his room.

It takes him almost the rest of the night to get warm in his bed, because Baekhyun can't sleep if any part of his body (except his face) is exposed and cold, and when he's finally warm all over his body, he falls asleep in the dawn of the morning.

The next time he wakes up, his body feels as if it's on fire, yet it's weak, and his mind is exhausted. Because of this sudden fatigue, Baekhyun falls back asleep.

His conception of time is fuzzy the next time he wakes up. All he knows is that he doesn't know how long he had slept and how long he had been in without food, and now his body is so weak he only has a little bit of energy left.

Not wanting to be a bother to others, Baekhyun forces himself to sit up to call and order food. He orders as many sandwiches as he can, hopefully to last him for the next few days, and once someone knocks at his door, he summons all his power to leave the bed and stumble towards the door.

"Place them ... near my bed." Baekhyun whispers softly, leaving the door open as he stumbles back towards his bed and climbs back in. Once the delivery man has placed all the sandwiches he has ordered and leaves, Baekhyun reaches out and takes a few sandwiches in his hands, opening the packets one by one and trying to consume it as much as he can. Then once he has a little bit of energy, he leaves the bed once more to drink water, wash his face, and wipe his body to relieve himself of the heat. It's still freezing cold and Baekhyun is constantly shivering with a constant headache.

Once he returns to bed, he eats a few more sandwiches again and then ends up falling asleep once more.

He spends the rest of the week lying in bed, eating whenever he can to replenish his energy but otherwise letting exhaustion take over his body.

But it is until he realizes he doesn't have much money left in his account anymore to order food, that he needs to resort to attending the cafeteria during meal times for free food.

Getting dressed, Baekhyun sets out for the cafeteria, still feeling exhausted. Still, he manages to get there, and manages to eat his food successfully. Just as he's about to return to his room, he remembers his bag of coats left at his professor's house.

It's been a week, and Baekhyun had been wondering all week just why he hadn't heard from his professor. Every day he had opened his eyes in hopes of seeing his professor, or if not, then hear from him in some way.

Maybe he's still using them. Baekhyun thinks to himself, still feeling really hopeful. Or maybe he's too busy ...

In the end, he decides to check room 530 again, and as he walks, his heart is beating hopefully. Still, when he opens the door, he is once again met with a cold, empty room.

Confused and disappointed, Baekhyun enters the room and walks around, trying to find a trace of his professor. When he walks towards his professor's desk, he finds his bag of coats resting at the exact same place as he put it, and the note in the exact same angle he put it last time.

Immediately, the hope that had excited his heart disappears and he slumps against the wall. Too tired to even think about his feelings, Baekhyun walks towards the desk once more and picks up his note, reading it with a tired heart.

Baekhyun remembers now that he's technically not Chanyeol's trainee anymore, and Chanyeol's not his trainer anymore. And here he is, still expecting things to stay the same even though everything's changed.

Sighing internally, Baekhyun grabs his bag and slips the note inside, then shuffles out of this cold, empty room with his bag in his arms.

On the way back, Baekhyun decides to see if there might be any medicine that he can afford. Then, making up his mind, he turns back to the elevator.

Thankfully, he has a little bit of money left to buy antipyretics. Clutching that in his hand and his bag of coats in the other, Baekhyun rushes back to his room, but in the midst of rushing, he bumps into someone when he's not looking forward properly, and his things fall out of his hands quickly.

Feeling weaker than usual, Baekhyun stumbles backwards, and would have fallen if he did not steady himself properly, but the person he bumped into catches his arm anyway, holding him steady.

"Baekhyun!" Baekhyun hears the voice before he can open his eyes, and if he had wanted to escape before, he realises it's too late now.

Instead, Baekhyun pulls away quickly and then bows deeply, before whispering out a 'Professor'.

"Why are you doing this?" Chanyeol asks. "You've never done this before."

"That's the custom." Baekhyun replies quietly. "I'm very sorry I've never done it before." With this, he bows even deeper, and stays there, unmoving.

"You know we're closer than that, little one." Hands reach up in an attempt to lift him up, but Baekhyun stays firmly. "Get up now."

Baekhyun had probably stayed for too long, because a wave of dizziness hits him and he stumbles a little. Of course, he doesn't have a chance to fall because his professor had already been holding onto him tightly, but even so, his professor had felt it, because he speaks.

"Are you all right?" Hands pull him up this time, and they move to touch his forehead. "You're burning!"

Baekhyun immediately reaches up to grab Chanyeol's forearms, then he pulls them down. "I'm fine. Thank you." Then he pulls them away from him and lets go.

"I'll come with you, Baekhyun." Chanyeol says as Baekhyun leans down to grab his medicine, then when he reaches down for his bag, his professor reaches down too. This time, Baekhyun remains firm to himself and he grabs the bag then snatches it away before the older can grab a hold of it.

"Professor, we're ..." Baekhyun mumbles softly when he turns to speak to his professor, and he finds that they're so close to each other. "... We technically have nothing to do with each other anymore."

You're not my trainer and I'm not your trainee anymore. We're not in a student-teacher relationship anymore. You ... don't need to take care of me anymore.

"So please don't come find me. I can take care of myself." With that, Baekhyun leaves quickly, sighing in relief once he's sure he's far enough away from Chanyeol.

Once he arrives back to his room, he feels so tired that he drops his bag at the door and climbs inside his bed, falling asleep almost straight away.

With the help of the medicine, Baekhyun recovers soon enough, but he reverts back to his normal self considerably poorer than he was before. Part of him is angry at himself for recklessly spending so much money (actually all of him) such that once it is determined that he would leave this place, he will have nothing to give to his parents. How silly of him, they would say, to spend all his money on food when he could have had free food at the cafeteria.

On the day of the results, Baekhyun sits up in bed, covering his face in his hand as he sighs. This entire journey had been the biggest part of his dream – these past few months had been his dream come true. Yet, strangely enough, it is probably one of the hardest and most unhappiest times in his life. It's not anyone's fault, but the fact that it is his own fault and his own doing that had caused him to be so unhappy. These past few months staying at EX'ACT had been nothing but Baekhyun acting recklessly, foolishly, unreasonably, in such a way that he feels as if he had contributed nothing at all, nor had he learnt anything that will help him contribute to the society.

And for all those reasons, he hates himself. For working so hard, oh so hard, to get to this stance, yet once he's here, he's unproductive, unhelpful, and useless.

Instead, he feels as if he had only been a burden. These past few months of getting hurt and constantly worrying the two legends of EX'ACT, namely his professor and the doctor, who are probably two of the busiest people in the Lab. Then he had let his feelings get in the way, almost breaking up two of the people he cares most about.

And with those thoughts, Baekhyun can't wait to leave this place, so he can stop bothering others and by doing that, let peace restore. Of course, he's not that arrogant to believe he had caused a disruption in EX'ACT, but he knows he had been a burden, if anything, to the people here.

Even though he says that to himself, his heart won't rest in peace. Even though the time at EX'ACT had been the worst time of his life, it had also been the best time of his life. Here, he had the opportunity to live his dream, to fall in love, and to meet the best friend of his life. He had the chance to learn so much about Monsters and Lucky Ones, about researching, about himself, whether it's good or not.

Taking a deep breath to encourage himself, Baekhyun takes a look around. His bags are packed, the room is spotless clean, and there's nothing else he can do to erase traces that he had been here. With a final check, Baekhyun leaves the room and prepares himself for the big day ahead.

In EX'ACT Laboratory, there is a floor full of huge celebration rooms, and Baekhyun had been given a suit that matches his proportions perfectly. Attached to the suit given to him is a note that gives him directions on where to go before the 'graduation'. After much difficulty wearing the suit (he's really not good at this), Baekhyun heads down over to the address given.

Arriving at the small room, Baekhyun checks the note again before he knocks on the door. The door opens and someone unfamiliar gestures for him to come inside. Baekhyun blinks in surprise, because this man does not look as if he's one of the staff members, but Baekhyun enters anyway, feeling lost. As he looks around, he notices that one surface of the wall is adorned with mirrors, a long table, and a chair. There is no one else in the room.

"I will have to style you up before your graduation." The man explains before gesturing for him to sit down. Still lost, Baekhyun absentmindedly follows.

For the next hour, the man styles his hair and dabs something onto his face until he looks much more awake than he was without the powder. Feeling like a different person, like a much more awake, energetic person, Baekhyun stands and bows deeply, thanking the man before he moves onto the graduation ceremony.

On his way there, he finds a reflection of himself on one of the large windows. Stopping by, Baekhyun performs his fight song, for the final time.

"Hah! You can do this, Byun Baekhyun!" He whispers to himself, smiling slightly before finally allowing himself to move on.

He's one of the earlier ones at the graduation ceremony, and he stands closer to the walls, wanting to blend into the darkness. He keeps his eyes down, not knowing what else to do. As more people file in, Baekhyun would look up once in a while, noticing the other trainees who are wearing the same thing, styled up in their own way. They all seem to be glowing, standing out, with bright smiles on their faces as they accept countless bouquets of flowers from people ranging from staff members, their own professors, and even their family who had come all the way inside to celebrate with them, or take them home.

Baekhyun forgot that people outside the Lab could be invited, because he had been sick when the invitation cards came for him to send, so now he knows no one is going to come for him. The emptiness inside his heart had been there and never left ever since the night he walked away from his professor, and upon watching other trainees surrounded by their friends and family, the hollowness inside him aches a little.

Still, even though watching hurts, it's become an addiction that he can't pull away from, so he continues staring at everyone around him, who are all showered with love from all different kinds of people. In the midst of the growing crowd, he sees someone familiar popping over the entrance..

Just like that, the crowd seems to disperse slowly as the chattering ceases and eyes turn to stare, wide-eyed, at his best friend whose makeup and hair enhances her beauty and whose dress emphasises her elegance. She holds a bouquet of flowers in her arms, and Baekhyun thinks that even the flowers are beautiful. At her arm, she holds the accessory that completes her perfectly.

Her man.

Dara catches his eyes and begins to wave, but Baekhyun immediately lowers his own eyes and turns, rushing quickly into the crowd. He's not sure why he's avoiding her, or maybe he's not, he's avoiding him instead.

How come, even on his last day at EX'ACT, does his professor have to torture him so?

Dara looks beautiful, for sure, but Baekhyun hates that he can only really be entranced by his professor's handsomeness.

Baekhyun finally pushes himself out of the crowd, wanting to just breathe, but before he has the time to, he bumps into someone's arms.

He gasps in a breath of air, and can smell the sweetness of the flowers he's fallen into.

Baekhyun pulls himself away, bowing deep as he apologises numerous times, afraid that he had ruined flowers for someone else, but those flowers are thrust into his face anyway, and once again he can smell the sweetness that makes his head go dizzy with calmness.

"For getting through the trainee period." The sharp, alert voice enters his mind as Baekhyun attempts to catch the flowers to stop them from falling to the floor. After steadying himself and the flowers in his hands, Baekhyun looks up at the doctor who's still staring at him sternly despite everything he's said. Even though the memories of the last time they had met flood through his mind, even though those flashbacks are making his knees go a little weak in fear, Baekhyun straightens himself up anyway and bows.

"Thank you." He says softly, and even though this man had hurt him so deeply that the bruises are still there on his chest, Baekhyun somehow feels a little warmth return to his cold heart, and like any cold person, he's desperate to cling onto that little bit of warmth. Despite their last meeting, this time Baekhyun smiles, lifting the flowers to his face as he breathes happily, once again letting the sweetness waft into his nose.

Maybe time passes quickly when you're happy, because not long after that, Yixing steps closer to him, hand resting on the small of Baekhyun's back before pushing him towards the seats. A little surprised, Baekhyun reaches out to grab the doctor to steady himself, but lets the older push him towards his seat.

Baekhyun sits down, watching as the doctor disappears elsewhere, then snuggles into his seat, hugging the bouquet of flowers that he never thought he would receive. He can't stop sniffing them, even though part of him is afraid the scent would fade away.

A while later, he hears Dara speaking to the person sitting next to him, and he turns, blinking as he watches his best friend sweettalk the man to him.

"Come on, it doesn't matter once we all go up the stage, no one will notice, I swear!" In the end, the man stands up and leaves, and Dara takes the seat next to Baekhyun happily before turning to Baekhyun.

"You got flowers too, Baekhyun! From oppa?" Dara asks.

"From someone else." Baekhyun replies a little timidly as he holds out his flowers for Dara to smell. Dara scrunches up her nose and moves backwards.

"Oh, so these are daisies." She says. "I wondered why you kept sniffing it, and thought it must smell nice."

"It really does." Baekhyun replies, smiling genuinely.

"That's strange. Not many people like the smell of daisies." Dara replies thoughtfully. "The smell is usually too strong and not sweet at all."

"I think it's sweet." Baekhyun replies before taking a sniff once more. Dara's grinning widely as she thrusts her bouquet of flowers to him.

"Look what oppa gave me!" Dara leans over and points out every different flower and outlines the meaning of it. "This means eternal love, this means happy love, this means desire, this means beauty and youth, this means declaration of love, this means admiration, this means longing for me, this means I'm lovely, this means secret love ..."

There are so many different kinds of flowers that Baekhyun can go dizzy on them, but instead, he only smiles and nods, happy that Dara is happy even though some part of him is sad.

"Of course," Dara adds, "I got flowers from others, but I can't hold all of them so I decided to hold oppa's one." His friend turns around and points somewhere in the crowd, and even though Baekhyun doesn't want to have even one glance at his professor, he turns anyway, and spots him immediately. Chanyeol is holding one bouquet of flowers, while the others are in the seats around him in such a way that he has the whole row to himself.

"How cute is he?" His best friend chuckles.

"You're so popular, noona." Baekhyun notes, then catches himself. "Oh! I forgot to get you a bouquet ... I'm sorry." It's not like I have the money for it anyway.

"That's fine, I forgot to give you one too." Dara waves him off. "But I'll give you one of mine."

"It's okay –"

"Gotta share the wealth, you know?" Dara grins.

"They're meant for you though."

"It's okay, they won't know." Dara hugs the bouquet in her chest, then sighs. "I wish I got the other bouquet too."

"What do you mean?"

"Oppa bought me another bouquet, full of carnations this time." Dara explains. "They're for congratulating me, but they also mean pure love and affection. Oppa is so sweet."

"Mm." Baekhyun replies, hugging his own flowers to his chest. Soon, the entire room darkens and the whispers cease into silence. The ceremony starts with speeches that come one after the other, until Baekhyun nearly falls sleep with his face down into his bouquet of daisies, but eventually, Dara nudges him to wake him up, whispering that it's almost time.

Baekhyun watches as all the professors go on the stage, and begins to sweat and panic. Eventually, all the trainees around him stand up and he does too, standing frozen in his spot even though the people in front of him begin to move.

"Baekhyun?" Dara's soft voice enters his ears, melting him. Baekhyun forces himself to take a step forward, and after that one step, his legs start moving on their own. One by one, the trainees wait at the foot of the stairs, waiting for their names to be called out. Baekhyun doesn't even realise Dara's back to where she was supposed to be until her name is called out and she walks confidently onto the stage, smiling dazzlingly as she accepts whatever they're giving her and stands to have her photo taken. As the line in front of him slowly declines, Baekhyun's heart is racing so much he swears the beats can be physically shown.

"23 years old, Byun Baekhyun."

"23 years old, Byun Baekhyun."

"Move." Someone behind him whispers, and Baekhyun doesn't know that's directed at him until someone gives him a gentle shove forward. Baekhyun stumbles, almost falling, but he catches himself and walks forward, heart in his throat. When the man in front of him holds out his hand, Baekhyun holds out his own. The man stares at him strangely, then moves his hand until it's clasping Baekhyun's. Baekhyun holds out his other hand stiffly to hold whatever they're giving him, then he bows deeply before walking stiffly over to where the other trainees are. Once he's melted a little, he looks around, noticing the woman that had first looked after them, at the very start: Professor Choi, along with other staff members that had been with the trainees throughout their journey. On the other side are all the professors, and his eyes accidentally turn to his own. Immediately he flits his eyes away, not wanting anything to do with his professor from now until when he finally leaves the Lab. Even though his body is aching to speak to him.

Trying to calm himself down, Baekhyun buries his nose into his daisies, closing his eyes before taking a whiff. The smell calms him down a little, and he loves the feel of the flowers against his skin.

"Now is the most important moment." The man at the podium says. Baekhyun freezes, heart firing up again.

Even though he knows the outcome, he still can't help but feel anxious, excited ... hopeful.

Hopeful that maybe his bad results don't count at all and he'll still be able to stay.

"9th place ..." The man begins, and every time he announces the name, Baekhyun would clench his fists and shut his eyes tightly, and at every moment, he would suddenly realise how much staying means to him.

It's until 5th place is announced that Baekhyun is surprised how far up he was on the ladder than he had imagined himself to be. Dara is next to him now, smiling at him encouragingly, confidently, as if she just knows that the two of them will end up being the final two.

"4th place ..." Dara's hand sneaks down and holds his, and even though Baekhyun doesn't feel the rush of warmth like he does with the other two, it still comforts him. "... Donald Trump."

The man next to him curses and moves over to the other side of rejected trainees. Now there's only three of them, and Baekhyun feels his heart lifting. Even though it's not the case at all, Baekhyun feels as if he's achieved so much at every moment he's not eliminated, but if he's eliminated now, it'll mean he's achieved nothing at all.

The man is speaking but Baekhyun can't hear what he's saying anymore. All his ears can catch are his name and possibly the other two names, but probably not the other two.

"... ... ... Byun Baekhyun."

There it is, spoken out there as if it always belonged there. Baekhyun had predicted that he wouldn't make it even though he hoped to make it. But really, this means that he doesn't need to be a burden here anymore, doesn't need to let his feelings get in the way anymore. Despite this, Baekhyun had told himself that he would change himself, and improve himself if he was allowed to stay, and now he can't ever challenge himself to do that.

Dara turns to hug him tightly, doing little bobs up and down excitedly, and Baekhyun hugs back loosely, a small smile lighting his lips because at least his best friend made it. The line of professors are there in his view, but Baekhyun is too ashamed to meet Chanyeol's eyes, so instead he closes his eyes and lets his despair float into his vision beneath his eyelids.

Then Dara pulls away, and the last comfort is gone. Baekhyun turns to walk towards the line of rejected trainees, feeling dizzy amongst all the clapping, but as he walks, the man who was speaking at the podium blocks his way and then slings something over his head. Confused but dazed, Baekhyun absentmindedly follows the man to the podium, absentmindedly lets himself be pushed towards the podium until the microphone is right under his lips.

"Uh ..." Baekhyun croaks, staring at the crowd that's staring back up at him expectantly, then he turns away, blinking as he realises that he's supposed to walk towards the rejected trainees. As he steps off the podium, the MC grabs him again, keeping his grip on him as he speaks this time.

"I'm sure we deserve a speech from 1st place, don't we?" He says, and the crowd agrees. "He seems a little shocked right now, let's get his trainer." This time, the crowd goes a little wilder.

"Trainer Park, can you please speak on behalf of Baekhyun for us?" Finally the hand on him disappears, but Baekhyun's frozen in place anyway, and watches with wide, confused eyes as his handsome professor pats him on the head, grinning dazzlingly, reaching down to grab his wrist before pulling him up towards the podium again.

Baekhyun is frozen, entranced, as he feels the warmth spark in the small space between their skin. Once again, Baekhyun can feel the warmth spread to him and into his previously hollow core, slowly filling him up through that one touch of his wrist alone.

"I know that everyone probably believes my student had received first place because he was blessed to have me –" The crowd laughs. "But in truth, being my student is probably the most disadvantaged student out there, because he had me.

"I was always busy and hardly had the time to look after him or teach him. Baekhyun is a slow learner, but he learnt everything by himself, and was very hardworking. His hard work was what had brought him here today." Then he lets go of Baekhyun's hand, bows, and steps off, walking away.

Once again, Baekhyun follows absentmindedly, eyebrow curved at the loss of warmth.

Still unsure of what's happening, he watches as Dara steps up this time with her professor, giving a dazzling speech. Maybe this is a dream, because if Baekhyun had gotten first place and is allowed to stay, then why can't he feel anything?

After this, the ceremony ends. Some people stay for refreshments, and Baekhyun, at a loss on what to do, stands near the wall awkwardly, with his daisies in his hand and something else that he had been given but he still doesn't know what it is. He watches as people surround Dara to congratulate her, and almost smiles at how popular she is, and how deserving she is of that popularity and of the place she had gotten. In fact, she deserves first place.

But still, the fact that no one had come up to him to congratulate him once again makes him question whether he had really gotten first place at all.

"Little one." A deep voice hovers above him, and Baekhyun stares up by reflex.

"Professor –" Baekhyun is about to greet, but the older catches him.

"I need to do something, then I'll be back. Stay right here." Chanyeol says, looking slightly more serious than he usually is – or maybe that's because his hair is swiped backwards by gel, revealing his handsome eyebrows that emphasise his maturity.

Baekhyun nods absentmindedly, unsure of what his professor has said, and he watches as his professor disappears out the door. Then when he recovers, he stares at his feet, heart racing as he wonders just what his professor is going to do. As he stares downwards, he notices in the corner of his feet slim legs with glittering high heels walking past him, and hears soft voices.

"Did you see? Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun were so awkward."

"Park Chanyeol probably neglects him a lot."

"This was Park Chanyeol's first time asking for a student – he probably wanted Park Sandara but got Byun Baekhyun instead."

"What else can he do? Obviously he has to show that he cares to an extent."

"Do you think that's why Byun Baekhyun's trying to get in Zhang Yixing's pants? After all, he's probably trying to get the two legends to back him up."

"I hear the system's rigged. I don't think Byun Baekhyun was supposed to be first."

"He probably rigged that system too, trying to get in. Those people never last long."

"Right ... He's too young and probably not mature enough, how could he beat all the others who had so much training and so much knowledge?"

"Maybe he bribed the higher ups, you never know just what someone can do just to stay."

"I hear there was one trainee that was doing really well, actually. He was supposed to be final two, but suddenly dropped out for cheating."

"I heard it was because Byun Baekhyun pulled some strings and got him kicked."

"Byun Baekhyun doesn't deserve first place. Let's not congratulate him."

This isn't even one group that's talking like that. Just about everyone within his earshot is talking about it. His heart is racing, his palms are sweating, and his entire body is hot with shame. Unable to meet gazes with anyone, and unable to listen any longer, Baekhyun rushes out, hugging the daisies close to his chest.

Once he has more time to himself back in his room, when he has stripped off his clothes and washed off the gel and makeup off his hair and face, changed into the clothes that he had first worn when he entered EX'ACT, and climbed into his bed, the reality finally hits him.

Grinning from ear to ear, Baekhyun sits up on the bed, then lies down and covers himself with blankets, then shifts around and kicks into the air, then sits up again. And the whole process repeats.

At this point, he doesn't even care what they say anymore. Who cares if they think he cheated the system? Who cares if they think he pulled strings, did some unthinkable things just to stay? The fact that he did not do any of these things remain, and he should not feel guilty for something he has not done.

Unable to contain himself, Baekhyun rips the covers off him one last time before he jumps to the mirror in his bathroom, taking a deep breath to finally take a good look at himself, something he hasn't done in a long time.

His face looks much brighter now, and definitely happier – the mirror reflects how he feels inside. Right now, he really does feel happy, and he wants to embrace this no matter how shortlived it is.

Taking a deep breath, Baekhyun bends his legs, straightens his back, and pulls his fists to his sides. He hasn't done this in a while – maybe that's why he's been feeling down lately.

"YOU CAN DO THIS, BAEKHYUN!" He shouts, then punches into the air. "YOU CAN DO THIS!!!"

As if that isn't enough, he jumps, spins, and lands again, punches the air, wiggles his butt, kicks sideways, jumps again, all while staring at himself in the mirror if he can.

Then he stops, laughing at how silly he looks and how silly he's being, and instead straights his entire body, still staring at the mirror.

"I will keep my promise." He whispers. "I will make sure I'm not a burden, make sure I'm making some sort of contribution to bring peace to this world. No matter what happens, I will stay true to myself and my beliefs, achieve my goals in an honest and kind way, and will not let any rumours or borders stop me. I can do this."

Then he returns to his bed, lying down and staring up at the ceiling.

"Thank you for giving me this chance." He whispers. "I will do my best."

The next time he wakes up, it's because his stomach is growling. Deciding to get free food from the cafeteria, Baekhyun dresses up, then heads over to the door, opening it to leave.

But when he opens the door, he nearly jumps because someone is standing directly on the other side of it, hand lifted as if he's about to knock on the door.

Baekhyun does yelp though, a small 'Ah!' as he steps backwards, clutching his heart. Then he recovers and bows, mumbling 'Professor' in greeting. When he lifts back up, wondering what his professor needs, his professor doesn't speak for a little while, staring at him as if scrutinising him, ready to read his heart.

But Baekhyun's not ready for his heart to be read.

"Congratulations." Chanyeol says.

"Thank you." Baekhyun replies.

Silence.

Maybe they're right. It really is awkward between us. Even though this is probably expected, especially ever since they ceased becoming a teacher-student relationship with each other, Baekhyun's heart still sinks at the thought. After all, when he had the mindset of an ideal little child, he had believed that wanting to be close to his professor was a small wish that isn't too much to ask, that isn't too difficult for anyone, that won't hurt anyone. But he realises now that indeed, it's too much to ask, it's difficult for them to be close especially when all Baekhyun does is burden others, and being close might hurt people and Baekhyun might not be aware that he's hurting others.

"... Getting ready to go?"

"Huh?" Baekhyun blinks.

"You're all packed and ready. Getting ready to go home?" Baekhyun turns around and sees his packed luggage that he hadn't had time to unpack, and turns back, reddening as he shakes his head violently.

"N-No, Professor!"

"I'll have you know all my students will stay in EX'ACT."

"You've ... only had one student."

"I'm surprised you remember." Chanyeol grins, reaching out to ruffle Baekhyun's hair. Baekhyun naturally closes his eyes, finding how at peace his heart is at this gesture. Truthfully, Baekhyun misses the old times, when he could just freely speak to his professor without his internal conflicts, when he could genuinely, genuinely enjoy his time with his professor without feeling guilty about it. He wants to speak normally with Chanyeol again, he wants to feel as if he has a right to care about Chanyeol's wellbeing again.

Baekhyun opens his mouth, ready to ask how his professor is doing, or whether his professor is taking care of himself, anything to confirm to Baekhyun that his professor is well.

But his professor beats him to it.

"Am I still your professor?" Chanyeol asks.

Technically he isn't. Not anymore. And Baekhyun wants to say no because it's the truth, and yet the other option is also the truth.

"You'll always be my professor." Baekhyun replies, and once the words leave his lips, he feels that this answer is truer than any other answer he could possibly have had.

"Mm ..." His professor looks thoughtful, then those bright eyes focus on him again. "Then meet me in our room this morning of next week."

"Why?" Baekhyun asks before he can stop himself, then dips his head down in embarrassment.

"Because I want to celebrate." Chanyeol replies, smile handsome. "Celebrate my little student coming first."

"Did you see? Park Chanyeol and Byun Baekhyun were so awkward."

"Park Chanyeol probably neglects him a lot."

"This was Park Chanyeol's first time asking for a student – he probably wanted Park Sandara but got Byun Baekhyun instead."

"What else can he do? Obviously he has to show that he cares to an extent."

"It's fine if you don't have time, Professor. Thank you though." Baekhyun says quickly, grabbing the door. "Bye bye." Swings the door to close it –

"Hey." A long arm blocks his way, so strong that it easily pushes against the door. No one had ever been stronger than Baekhyun so easily before – Baekhyun is usually the stronger one. Surprised, Baekhyun stumbles backwards, letting go of the door. Chanyeol takes a step forward, and Baekhyun takes a step backward, alarmed.

"I do have time. And I want to." The softness in Chanyeol's eyes seem so real, as if he's being truly affectionate, yet it makes no sense. After all, if what the rumours said were true, then it'd be strange if Chanyeol doesn't resent him, for being the mistake of a student that he wasn't supposed to have. And Baekhyun doesn't want to force him, doesn't want him to feel as if his duty is to take care of his student even if it means going out of his way to do it. After all, Baekhyun knows now ... he doesn't deserve this attention in the first place.

"You really don't have to, Professor." Baekhyun whispers, voice soft because every inch of his body wants this, wants more time with the older, yet his heart is fighting against every inch, telling himself not to be selfish.

But one more tip of the iceberg and Baekhyun will turn selfish.

"Do you not want to, is that it?" The older tilts his head, blinking. When Baekhyun opens his mouth, a breath of air escapes, but nothing else does.

"I ... I want to." Baekhyun admits quietly in the end, guilty. I really do.

"Then it's settled." There his professor goes again, ruffling his hair as if he doesn't know how much it affects Baekhyun. The next time Baekhyun looks up, his professor is gone.

Of course Baekhyun is nervous and excited for the next few days, even though it really shouldn't be anything. Sometimes he'd even get jumpy randomly, and smile to himself, and look at himself in the mirror to cheer himself on. Even though he had been busy for the next few days, with organizing forms and getting ready to become an official staff member of EX'ACT, whenever he's free he would think about this meetup, until his mind would become as messy as his heart.

"You can do this!" Baekhyun shouts in the mirror around half a week later, then he decides to take a walk outside to calm himself down. Silly, how his emotions are so out of place, so random, but if that's a part of him, then he would have to deal with it.

Walking around, Baekhyun notices that the people he passes all seem jittery and alert, heads constantly bent down in whispers. There is not one person that walks by himself or herself, which is a rare sight to see, and every time he walks past them, they stare at him with wide eyes, as if unable to believe that he dares to walk alone.

Baekhyun wants to ask, but at the same time he doesn't know how to begin, so in the end he can only shove his hands in his pockets and walk around by himself. He settles down later, sitting at the cafeteria and eating his own food quietly. Fortunately for him, two women sit not far away from him, and he's close enough to be able to hear their whispers.

"Can't trust anything nowadays, now that there's a spy among us ..."

Hm? Curious, Baekhyun moves a little closer.

"Are you sure it's true? Because after all, it's just a rumour ..."

"It's definitely true! People don't make up these things, it's so sensitive ... Besides, I heard that it was because some very important research got permanently deleted in the systems. Usually there would be many backup files or backup programs to retrieve the data if it had been, say, accidentally deleted, but because it was permanently deleted, wiped out as if it had never existed, people stay there's a traitor among us."

"What if it's one of those Monster Experiments?"

"No way, they're too dumb ..."

Baekhyun has heard enough to understand why everyone is on their toes. Finishing his very last burger, Baekhyun gathers up his rubbish and then leaves, ready to return to his room because he knows this time he won't be thinking about the next time he'll see his professor.

But despite this sort of 'relief', his thoughts go astray again. At the word 'traitor' and 'spy', Baekhyun can't help but think of Zhang Yixing as his first suspect.

His thoughts automatically flit back to the first time he had met Zhang Yixing, who had seemed in a huge hurry to leave the Lab. Then the second time he acted strangely was when he had acted that strange scene that one time Baekhyun accidentally went up to the forbidden floor – was that necessary? Then the third time was all those times Baekhyun had noticed Zhang Yixing heading towards a direction that was either not his own office or that no one else frequents. The last time was ... not long ago, when he had eavesdropped on the doctor who seemed to talk to himself, who then hurt him physically because of that.

No, I shouldn't think that. Baekhyun shakes his head wildly. What am I thinking? He's one of the legends at EX'ACT, I shouldn't even question him.

The first time, Zhang Yixing probably had something important to do, for EX'ACT. The second time, he was trying to protect Baekhyun (Baekhyun hits himself for even suspecting him using that as proof). The third time, Zhang Yixing is a well-respected member of EX'ACT, of course he will be able to walk freely and go wherever he wants to. Lastly, what if he was trying to protect the secrets from spies, and he suspected Baekhyun was one?

Now that Baekhyun thinks about it, all his suspicions are instantly knocked down by fact and reason. Baekhyun already feels guilty for thinking that about the doctor, who, although may be intimidating and scary, is ultimately a great man who had contributed a lot to EX'ACT. In fact, he should be the one that Baekhyun admires, if anything.

Thinking about this, Baekhyun feels stupid once more as he returns to his room and sits down on his bed. Absentmindedly, his gaze flits over to his bedside table, noticing the tall object that hasn't been there for very long.

A vase of daisies.

It was Zhang Yixing who had given them to him, Zhang Yixing who had remembered him when everyone else had forgotten him, or did not care about him. And no matter how scary, harsh, violent Zhang Yixing might be, there are also times when he is gentle, kind, and caring.

There's no point trying to figure it out anyway. Baekhyun thinks to himself in the end, remembering how with everyone else he had passed, they had attempted to guess who the spy is but all those names spouted from their lips were never mentioned more than once. If allowed to vote, Baekhyun's sure the EX'ACT Lab would be chaotic, and there would be no true result since everyone's heart is all over the place.

So instead, Baekhyun shrugs it off his mind.