"HEY, KIDS!!!" I screamed on top of my voice and all the children came running towards me while screaming my name "JI WON UNNIE" "Unnieee!!!" "NOONA!"I chuckled and hugged them back with the same affection.

"Kids look what I got you"I opened my bag and put all the items on their tiny table.

"Yay!! Chwocolates, Snacks, toys! Bweads!" "Thwank you so much Unnie" Yes! Ji Won Unnie BEST!!"

They spoke in their baby language which had me laughing genuinely after a long time.

"Okay, common let's party kids!"

"Yes, Pwarty Pwarty!!"We all sat down and they started eating and playing with their toys.

 I was looking at them with envious eyes and a wide smile. Envious due to the fact they can laugh and be happy no matter what happens. Kids have their ways to get into your heart just by their smiles and eyes. 

How would my child look like? How would it feel to be able to hear 'momma or mom' from them. I wonder. I am sure my child is looking at me from the sky like an angel and asking me to not cry while thinking about them.

 But I can't help my child. 

I cannot forgive myself ever that I took a life before my baby had the chance to even look into the beautiful world. 

For the past 10 months, I visit the Little Kids orphanage on the exact date we had got to know that we were pregnant. It was such a happy day for us. I come here to celebrate that happiness with other kids, who do not have parents and try to give them the affection and care they deserve. I wonder how many times happier would these kids have been with their parents. But we can never change what is written in our fates. Just like I couldn't meet my child.

"Unnie Unnie" baby Aera came and stood in front of me with hands full of beads and another hand holding the string to make a bracelet.

"Yes, Aera baby" 

"Cwan you help me?" she asked innocently while tilting her head. She looked so cute and pure just like a cute little angel.

"Aww, baby you want me to help you?"I asked imitating her and she replied by vigorously nodding her head.

"Alright, baby come let's make it together hmm?" 

"Yes!" While she was making the bracelet I was looking at her when unknowingly a tear dropped on her hand. She raised her head and saw me with tear-filled eyes.

" Unnie Unnie Dwont cry"she panicked and hugged me and said"I will kiss you till all your pain goes away" She exclaimed and showered my whole face with kisses while I had more tears running down my cheeks. 

She wiped them once more and laid her head on my chest while sitting on my lap. I just caressed her hair and after a while heard cute little snores coming from her. I carried her and placed her on her bed and pulled a blanket over her body as it was cold.

 When I turned to look at other children, they were also sleeping on the mat. I pulled a huge blanket over them and kissed each of their foreheads. 

They were looking so adorable that I couldn't stop myself from clicking their pictures and laying next to baby Junwoo.

"Noona, Noona"I heard someone shaking me by my shoulders. 

I groaned slightly and woke up to see a face in front of my eyes. I got startled and hit their face with my head.

" Oww, Noona I was just waking you up," said Sung-Ho, the part-time caretaker for the kids in the evening.

"Ohh I am so sorry Sung-Ho I got startled, Noona is sorry," I said while pouting slightly to be forgiven.

" Noona you don't need to act cute for asking me sorry" he chuckled at my childish behavior.

"Oh wait Sung-Ho," I said while searching my bag for his snacks and gift. I gave him a pack of stationaries and art supplies which he would require during college."This is for you" I handed him the gift bag. 

He hesitated but eventually took it. He had his eyes wide open by looking at the gift and took me by surprise by giving me a sudden hug 

"Thank you thank you noona I actually needed few art supplies, Thank you so much noona" 

"Aish, stop thanking me so much, of course, I would gift you, you are a good boy" I said and patted his head." Noona!" he whined while blushing slightly.

"Oh, where is my good boy?"I exclaimed and pinched his cheeks while teasing him just for his face to turn a bright red.

" Noonaaa" he whined again."Okay I'll stop teasing you"

"Take care and let these kids sleep, they have already had their snacks, okay?"

"Alright noona" 

"I will come and visit next month again, bye Sung-Ho, say the kids I told them bye otherwise they will make a fuss by not seeing me after waking up"

"Okay noona Bye!! Take care"

"It was a tiring day" I groaned slightly and massaged my sore shoulders while bathing in the bathtub. I cleaned myself and wore his sweatpants and sweatshirt which was the most comfortable for me. 

I sat on one of the hanging egg chairs near the balcony and played his song from the recorder which I had recorded on the day we were the happiest.