The Beginning of the End

I can pinpoint the exact moment when my relationship with Alan Rodriguez began to deteriorate. Before that day, I never even thought to question it. Alan was the Sexiest Man Alive, after all. Every woman in the world wanted to be with him, and I was the only one who could even think about living that dream. Sometimes, it was easy to see why my lifestyle was so glamorized.

Yes, there were warning signs. Alan had a bit of a temper, he occasionally flirted with other women (and even more rarely, his Phantom Cat bandmates), and his fashion sense was unusual at best and cringe worthy at worst. None of these were dealbreakers for me, however. Everyone had their flaws, even the Sexiest Man Alive, and as I always reminded myself, I was lucky to be with him in the first place.

I was eating my lunch at home when I got the call. At first, I was reluctant to pick up the phone. I was in the middle of a rather delicious sandwich, and I didn't want to interrupt my meal to answer the call. The phone rang three more times before I finally answered it.

"Hello?" I said.

"Bianca!" Alan exclaimed. "I have to tell you something!"

"What is it?" I asked, hoping it wasn't just another one of his publicity schemes.

"I came up with a brilliant idea," he said.

"What's the idea?" I asked. Alan's ideas were almost never good, but I tried to have a little bit more faith in my boyfriend.

"I'm throwing a New Year's Eve party, and you're invited," Alan said.

"It's May," I reminded Alan. "Why would you plan this far ahead for a New Year's Party?"

"Do I have to explain this to you?" Alan asked. "Anyone who's anyone in the entertainment industry will be invited, and it takes a lot of work to plan a party for that many people. Also, I heard a rumor that Justin Blubber is throwing a Christmas party, so I'm making sure that people come to my party instead."

"I'll certainly come to your party," I said. "It's just really far ahead."

"It's going to be the best party ever," Alan said. "All of Hollywood will be bringing in 2017 in style!"

"I'm sure it will be fun," I said. In fact, I was sort of excited. Alan's parties were always interesting experiences.

"I don't know where I'll get a bartender, but that's a detail that I'll have to work out later," Alan said. "Right now, I'm just trying to get the guest list out. I already invited the rest of Phantom Cat, but there are a few others that I need to call."

"I can help you if you need it," I said.

"I need it," Alan said. "Can you please contact Abby and Kyle? I still need to call Taylor Swift. I know she's busy, but she has to come to my party."

"I can text them," I said.

"Great," Alan said. "I know they're going to ask this, so I'll answer it right now. No, they are not allowed to bring their children. They're going to have to find a babysitter."

"I'll let them know that," I said. "Is there anything else I need to do?"

"Not right now," Alan said. "I'll let you know if there's anything else."

"Alan, you're coming to the studio tomorrow, right?" I asked him.

"What?" Alan asked.

"I thought that Phantom Cat was going to the studio tomorrow to work on your next album," I said. "Miles told me all about it."

"I forgot," Alan said. "Yes, I'll be there."

"Excellent," I said. "Do you think we could meet up for lunch afterwards?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Alan said. "We can talk about the party more then."

"That sounds good," I said. "I'll see you tomorrow, Alan."

"Bye Bianca," Alan said. "I love you."

"I love you too, Alan," I said. "See you later."

I hung up and finished my lunch before texting Abby. Texting her seemed useless, since I saw her so frequently. She was my manager after all. It was her job to look over the business side of my job, and I knew Kyle well too. Besides, Abby was my best friend. Even when Madhouse was on tour and we were seeing each other every day, we would still carve out time for the two of us. She was the only familiar face throughout my life.

I picked up my phone and texted a quick message to Abby. "Alan told me to invite you to his New Year's Party," I texted, and I got a response back surprisingly quickly.

"I know," Abby said. "Lizzie already invited Kyle and I." How many people had Alan invited before me? I wondered. I didn't have time to text Abby back before she sent me another message. This time, it was even more surprising.

"You know Robin? Kind of short, kind of hot?"

My heart began to race. I hadn't even thought about Robin in years, and Abby's comment had caused all kinds of memories to rush back into my head. I typed up a reply as quickly as I could. "Yes, of course I know him," I said. "We dated."

"Kyle invited him to the party. I hope that's okay," Abby replied. When I saw that text, I froze, uncertain of how exactly to respond to this revelation. It doesn't matter if he's coming, I told myself. There are going to be hundreds of people at the party. You probably won't even see him. Nevertheless, I could not shake off all of the feelings I was experiencing.

I took a few deep breaths and texted Abby back. "Okay, that's fine," I texted. I contemplated adding a smiley face for good measure, but I decided that would be too much. I sent the message, and I only had to wait a few seconds for a reply.

"Great! I forgot to ask Lizzie this, but is it okay if we bring Darcy and Lydia? Darcy overhead Kyle talking to Lizzie, and she really wants to go," Abby texted.

"Alan said that he's not allowing children at the party," I texted. "It's probably not the best place to take the kids anyways. You know how Alan's parties can get."

"Kyle might stay home with the kids then," Abby texted. "I'll let Alan know later." I was going to reply back, but Abby sent me a second message. "It's going to so nice seeing you and Robin together again!"

Of course. She just had to bring Robin up again. "Yeah, I'm looking forward to it," I wrote.

"Me too! You two were such a cute couple," Abby replied.

"I'm dating Alan," I texted. "You know that."

The conversation continued on, and the rest of our messages looked something like this.

Abby: I do know that, but I get nostalgic sometimes. It was just so sad when you and Robin broke up.

Me: We broke up for a good reason, Abby.

Abby: I disagree, but I suppose you're not going to listen to me. We'll just see if you're so attached to Alan when Robin shows up.

Me: You didn't invite Robin, did you?

Abby: Don't be silly. Kyle invited him. He just thought that Robin should be invited, and truthfully, I don't know why Alan didn't invite him.

Me: Can you tell Kyle not to invite him?

Abby: It's already been done. It would be rude to tell him that he can't come now.

Me: That's fair. Will you be at the Revelation Records office tomorrow? Phantom Cat is recording tomorrow, and I'm meeting Alan for lunch.

Abby: No, I'm working from home tomorrow. I have a few more interviews that I need to schedule for you, and I can do that from home.

Me: Okay, I was just wondering. Have fun :)

Abby: Thanks, and have fun with Alan. See you soon, Bianca!

Me: Bye Abby.

I turned off my phone and went upstairs into my bedroom. The room was decorated in shades of blue, with memorabilia from my favorite musicians and movies hanging on the walls along with pictures of myself and my friends from the last few years. I looked through the pictures, and I found an old picture of Madhouse performing. I was standing in the front, struggling to concentrate on playing the bass while singing. Robin was right next to me. He was grinning into the camera, and his grey eyes had a sense of wildness in them as he played his bright red Stratocaster. Kyle was drumming in the back, not even paying attention to the camera and keeping a steady beat for the rest of us. Looking at that picture, I could see why Abby might get nostalgic, but I couldn't afford that luxury. I had Alan to think about, not to mention my career.

One luxury that I did have, however, was time. I still had months before the New Year's Eve party, and until then, I didn't have to think about Robin if I didn't want to think about him. It wasn't like I didn't have other things to worry about. I had other aspirations and other projects, and none of them involved Robin.

For that afternoon, I let my mind wander. To my dismay, the first thing I thought about was the only subject I was trying to keep my mind away from. I relaxed a little bit and let my imagination loose, and my mind drifted away as I remembered the day when I first met Robin.