Life Lessons From A Flugelhorn Hero

I hated to admit it, but I didn't have a good answer to Miles' question. We were at the top of the Willis/Sears/Whatever The Hell It Is Tower, and he had just asked me why I was with Alan. It should have been a simple response, but our relationship couldn't be boiled down to just a few words. It was far more complicated than that, quite possibly too complicated to explain to anybody, but that wouldn't stop me from trying.

I took a deep breath and said, "Alan's not as bad as you think he is. He's a great guy on the inside, even if doesn't always know how to show it. He's very charming, and he's never treated me badly. Besides, Alan's very attractive."

"He doesn't have the best personality," Miles said. "I'm just not sure what you see in him, because if I were you, I would have left him a long time ago."

"I don't have any reason to leave him," I said. "I don't like what he did to you, but he's never been like that around me, or anyone else for that matter."

"You're right, but it's still wrong," Miles said. "Alan will do anything for attention, and that's what scares me. He's unpredictable."

"It scares me too," I admitted. "I can't leave him though."

"Why not?" Miles asked.

"He means a lot to me," I said. "Alan helped Madhouse become popular, so I owe a lot to him. Even if I did leave him, I don't think I could ever find a boyfriend as attractive or talented as him. Robin clearly didn't want me."

Miles laughed. "He's not that talented, Bianca," he said.

"He can play the guitar," I said. "That's talent."

"Plenty of guys can play the guitar, and most of them aren't worth dating," Miles said. "You need higher standards."

"Maybe, but I like Alan," I said. "He keeps things interesting."

"I won't argue with you, but it's something to consider," Miles said. "If he's like this around his bandmates, then there's nothing stopping him from doing the same to you."

"I don't think he would do that," I said. "Miles, what's going to happen to Phantom Cat now?"

"I want to finish up this album, but after that, we're going to go away and not talk to each other for a very long time," Miles said.

"So you're going on hiatus?" I said.

"I think so," Miles replied. "I need some time away from the band, and I think Byron and Alan do too."

"How long will the hiatus be?" I asked.

"I don't know," Miles said. "I haven't quite thought this through yet, but we're definitely going on hiatus."

"How will you finish the album without a drummer?" I asked.

"We'll figure it out," Miles said. "Maybe I'll drum like I did on Battleground."

"That would be cool," I said.

"I just don't want to go back to performing with Alan," Miles said. "He needs to learn to respect my boundaries before I go back to doing that."

At that moment, I saw Miles for what he truly was: a broken, miserable man who had endured far too much from Alan over the years and was in desperate need of a hug. As he stared out over the city from the Skydeck, I reached out and gave him a great big hug. "It's okay, Miles," I told him. "I'll talk to Alan for you. He'll stop this."

"I don't like being touched, but I guess this isn't so bad," Miles mumbled. I let go, and he said, "Thanks Bianca. I needed that."

"You're welcome," I said.

All of a sudden, Alan appeared out of nowhere. "Hey guys," he said, adjusting his sunglasses. "Where's everyone else?"

"They're by the exhibit," I said. "We were looking for you."

"Sorry," Alan said. "I was just checking my Twitter account. It looks like someone got a good picture of us, Miles." Alan winked, and Miles recoiled in disgust.

"Stop it, Alan," Miles said. "Let's go find the others and see the rest of the city."

We headed towards the exit, and we found Byron, Sara, and AJ waiting for us. "Where are we going next?" Byron asked.

"I heard there was a White Sox game today," Alan said. "We should see that."

"We're still on the North Side!" AJ exclaimed.

"Don't bother correcting him, AJ," Miles said. "He'll never learn."

"Why don't we go to the Shedd Aquarium?" I suggested. "I've heard that's cool."

"Sounds good," Byron said.

"I like that idea too," Sara said.

"Me too," Miles said.

"It's settled then," AJ said. "We're going to the aquarium."

Alan wasn't exactly happy that he was missing the baseball game, but the rest of us had a good time. We spent the rest of the day wandering around the aquarium, seeing everything from beluga whales to stingrays. In the evening, we had dinner near the aquarium, and then returned to the hotel. I knew that I needed to talk to Alan, but I figured that could wait until we got back to Los Angeles. I didn't want to ruin his trip to Chicago, even if he had ruined it for everyone else.

I barely slept that night, but it wasn't like I was going to get much sleep in the first place. I didn't get to bed until eleven, and I had to wake up at six to go to the airport. However, I kept tossing and turning throughout the night. I still didn't know what to do with Alan, and as much as I loved him, he needed to treat his bandmates better. Strangely enough, Alan seemed to sleep fine. He was snoring loudly next to me, but he slept soundly through the whole night.

The next morning, we all got up early to go to the airport. O'Hare was crowded that morning, as usual, but we made it through security without too much trouble, and within a few hours, we were on our way back to Los Angeles.

I don't think Alan looked up from his phone for the entire plane ride. He alternated between playing some mindless mobile game and checking his various social media accounts. Every so often, he would give us an update on the status of the #phantompalooza2k16 tag, but I somehow doubted that it would ever become a trending tag, especially with the way Alan was obsessively watching it. I finished my book within the first hour of the plane ride, and stared out the window for the rest of it.

Four hours later, Alan, Byron, Miles, AJ, Sara, and I landed in Los Angeles. After I found my suitcase in the baggage claim, I said goodbye to all of them. "Bye Bianca!" Sara said.

"Goodbye," Miles said.

"See you soon," Alan said.

"I'll stop by later today," I told Alan. "See you all later."

Abby and Kyle picked me up from the airport, along with their daughters Darcy and Lydia. "Hi Aunt Bianca!" Darcy exclaimed as I sat down next to her in Abby's minivan.

Abby pulled a piece of her bright red hair away from her face and started to drive. Once she was on the road, she asked me, "How did it go in Chicago?"

"I saw a few pictures of the show online," Kyle noted. "I still can't believe that Alan dragged you onstage to sing. I don't think Phantom Cat has played The Sound since we opened for them on the Fire and Rain Tour."

"They haven't," I said.

"That show looked insane," Abby said. "I wish I could have been there."

"No, you don't," I said. "Miles is still mad at Alan for kissing him, and Karim just got kicked out of the band."

"Seriously?" Abby said. "Phantom Cat needs to get better at keeping drummers in the band, and Alan needs to ask before he does any more stage gay. I can't believe their manager hasn't talked to them about that."

"Not everyone has a manager that's as great as you, Abby," I said.

"Abby's pretty great, isn't she?" Kyle said.

"Yeah! Mommy's great!" Darcy said.

I continued to chat with Abby and her family until we arrived at my house. "Thanks for the ride, Abby," I said.

"No problem," Abby said.

"Do you need any help with your suitcase?" Kyle asked.

"No, I think I've got it," I said as I opened the trunk and pulled out my suitcase. "See you guys soon!"

"Bye Bianca," Abby said. She waved as she drove off, and I went inside and crashed onto the couch. I was glad that Lollapalooza was finally over, but I knew there was more I had to do. I still needed to talk to Alan, and after that, Abby would certainly schedule more interviews and shows before I started working on Madhouse's fifth album.

I watched Sunset Boulevard for what must have been the hundredth time before realizing that classic movies wouldn't help me with my problems. It was better to get this over with, so I got back into the car and drove to Alan's house. Hopefully I would be able to talk some sense into Alan, but if nothing else, maybe I could help Miles and mend my relationship with him at the same time.