❛ And if the world don't break, I'll be shakin' it 'cause I'm a young man after all. And when the seasons change will you stand by me? 'Cause I'm a young man built to fall. ❜

SEASON 3, EPISODE 9
the suicide king

━━━━━━ day 311.

CAL GOT BIANCA to himself for all but ten seconds before she was ripped from his arms again. Merle initially drove the wedge between them by opening his arrogant mouth, then by the rest of the group—her group discussing what they needed to do next.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca was a part of a family. She was essential to these people as equally as any other part. They looked to her for her opinion, didn't berate her (entirely) for her anger, and respected her.

⠀⠀⠀Cal was happy that she had found a home of people, unlike his place of survival. He couldn't stand the idea of what she would be like if she came across the Governor in his place. How she might turn out a shell of herself or, more likely, dead.

⠀⠀⠀Cal stopped the thoughts from proceeding. He didn't need to question the what-ifs of everything but bask in the happiness that he had found her. Cal just wished they had more time to talk. He had no idea what Bianca had gone through since their phone call. Cal knew Eugene and her parents were dead after the trip to her house; he knew she and Daryl were close based on their conversation before leaving. He knew that these people were closer than any other dynamic Cal had seen in this world.

⠀⠀⠀That was it.

⠀⠀⠀He didn't know how she had gotten here, if she had met anyone else, how many of her loved ones had passed to an early grave. He wanted to know everything. He wanted to dive into her mind and heal her of all the pain she felt.

⠀⠀⠀However, all he could do was sit in the car next to her and hold her hand as they headed back to the prison.

⠀⠀⠀That was another thing. It wasn't that Cal was met with a stranger when reuniting with Bianca. Cal recognized her. She still had the same smile, the same kiss, the same foundation of who she once was. But Carl was the one who had Cal's mind spinning.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca, the girl who never liked kids, was friends with one. Closer than friends even. Carl seemed to look up to Bianca like a sister, and he didn't doubt that Bianca likely saw him as a little brother. If she found Carl to be a nuisance, he would know quickly.

⠀⠀⠀Cal was excited to meet his girlfriend again. See who she had become, but it wasn't all roses and butterflies. He stared at her as they drove. A frown screwed into her features as she stared out of the window. Her hand was in his, but she didn't try to talk to him. She was distraught by Daryl leaving her behind, and Cal wished he could take away her pain.

⠀⠀⠀The car pulled to a stop, and Cal looked to the front to see a truck in Rick's path. He sighed in annoyance, getting out along with Maggie and Glenn. Bianca started to follow as well, but anxiety crept into Cal's system, and he held a little tighter onto her.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey, you can barely walk," Cal told her, a worried frown pulling down his face.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca gave him a soft, reassuring smile that broke away the heartbroken look. She leaned in and pecked the corner of his lips.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm alright," she said to him, then got out of the car.

⠀⠀⠀Cal and Michonne were left behind in the car and watched the four approach the abandoned truck. Cal tried to remove his thoughts from his girlfriend, stumbling around with injuries coating her body. It was hard, but he put his head to something else that had been bothering her.

⠀⠀⠀"We need to talk," Cal whispered to Michonne. His eyes were stuck to the front window, but he could see Michonne turn to him with a raised brow from the corner of his eye.

⠀⠀⠀"What about?" Michonne asked.

⠀⠀⠀"Rick's not letting you stay," Cal pointed out. He turned to her—away from Glenn smashing a biter's head with his foot repeatedly—and worried his brows at his new friend.

⠀⠀⠀"I did it to myself," Michonne sighed, turning away from his puppy-dog eyes, making her uncomfortable.

⠀⠀⠀"You saved my life," Cal retorted. "You should be allowed to stay."

⠀⠀⠀"That's sweet of you, but you're not theirs yet," Michonne stated. A faint smile crossed her face. "Saving your life... that was enough for you and maybe your girlfriend. Not the rest of them."

⠀⠀⠀Cal wanted to protest, but Michonne was right. Michonne didn't rescue one of them. She rescued an outsider with a shady backstory. He was lucky enough to stay with them because of Bianca. Even that seemed like a thin rope to walk.

⠀⠀⠀"DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID TO HER?!" Glenn screamed, catching the attention of Cal and Michonne.

⠀⠀⠀Glenn was in Rick's face, shoulders hunched forward as he pointed at Maggie fiercely. Cal's heart clenched, knowing what he meant and what that bastard governor could do. A sliver of his mind worried Bianca had been a part of it, but so much was rolling around in his mind he couldn't give it priority. What could he do now if it had?

⠀⠀⠀Bianca needed space, that much he knew. The bruises on her face, the welt of disappointment on her heart. He couldn't do anything right now.

⠀⠀⠀"LEAVE IT ALONE!" Maggie screamed back at him.

⠀⠀⠀"Do you know?" Glenn continued to press but was not as deafening as before.

⠀⠀⠀"Back off, Glenn!" Bianca snapped at Glenn. Her expression was deafeningly angry, especially with cuts and bruises on her face. Her brows furrowed down, and her lips dragged deep into her skin. Her fists clenched, and Cal hoped he didn't need to be out of the car to hold her back.

⠀⠀⠀Glenn turned to Bianca, but Cal couldn't see his face. His back was towards the car, but his shoulders relaxed an inch before his voice returned to a normal pitch that they couldn't hear inside the car and turned to Rick.

⠀⠀⠀They continued to argue further, Maggie looking exhausted as she tried to get the men to work with her. While they continued to scream their frustrations, Maggie and Bianca ignored them and worked to move the truck out of the road. Bianca put the car into neutral before hopping out and pushing it off the road with Maggie.

⠀⠀⠀There wasn't a concern for damaging the truck, so when it plowed into a tree, alerting the two men, they were both stunned, but neither said anything. Instead, they just returned to the car with an added layer of tension before their journey back to the prison continued.

CAL'S TIME OF feeling at home while at Woodbury was short-lived. There was a blissful era when all seemed absolutely horrible and as good as it could ever get for a while. Still, it quickly turned into an all-around nightmare. Returning to the prison brought a warm feeling to his chest that he could return to something like that one day. Especially if Bianca was there at his side.

⠀⠀⠀Rick stepped out of the car to greet his son and an older woman at the gate while Glenn took over, driving them up the rest of the way. Cal helped Bianca get out of the car when he parked as exhaustion settled over her. Pushing herself to help move that truck was getting to her.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca leaned into Cal's side as they stood outside. Her body weight rested on him rather than her own two feet. They watched as Maggie greeted Hershel and Beth while Glenn and Michonne passed by them without speaking a word.

⠀⠀⠀After their sweet reunion, Beth left her sister's side and bounded over to Bianca and Cal. Bianca gave the girl a bone-crushing hug and a wide smile. A sparkle reached both of their eyes.

⠀⠀⠀"I'm so happy you're alright!" Beth exclaimed, leaving the hug as quickly as it started. "We were all so worried."

⠀⠀⠀"I know. I'm just happy your sister's alright, too," Bianca agreed.

⠀⠀⠀Beth looked like she wanted to say more but stopped herself as she noticed something behind them. She stepped out of the way as feet kicked up dirt behind them. Bianca didn't have time to react as Carl tackled her into a hug around the waist. If it wasn't for Cal holding her upright, the two would've tumbled to the ground.

⠀⠀⠀"Hey, little man!" Bianca chuckled, her hands pressed into his back, and she smiled warmly down at the kid burying his face into her side. "You alright?"

⠀⠀⠀"Am I alright?" Carl asked in exasperation, looking up at her with incredulous eyes. "Are you? You look... awful!"

⠀⠀⠀"I know, I know," Bianca muttered in annoyance, rolling her eyes as she pushed him a step away from her. "I'm alright, don't worry about me."

⠀⠀⠀Carl narrowed his eyes as they slowly moved toward Cal's arm around her waist, then trailed up to stare deep into Cal's eyes. The child was more fearsome than any man Cal had ever met. It was like he was meeting Bianca's dad for the first time. The thought was strange, but he couldn't compare it to anything else.

⠀⠀⠀"Have you met Cal? My boyfriend?" Bianca asked when she noticed the stare-off. She smiled awkwardly and returned her arm back around Cal's waist.

⠀⠀⠀Cal waved in greeting, growing further awkward. Carl's eyes dulled in annoyance. The two had already met.

⠀⠀⠀"Yeah, I've met Caliburn," Carl assured her, his tone unimpressed as he flicked his eyes toward Bianca.

⠀⠀⠀"I thought you were gonna forget that," Bianca said under her breath, and she turned to look up at Cal with a pitiful smile. "Sorry, I might have told him your full name and when we first met and some other stories, but that's it."

⠀⠀⠀"That's it? You sure?" Cal asked sarcastically with a blank expression. She had told him a lot, not that he wasn't happy about it. He was glad she still thought about him after everything and even told her friends about him, but the kid seemed more judgmental than any man Cal had ever met. It got under his skin and made him wonder the age-old question, 'Am I good enough for her?'

⠀⠀⠀Like before, Bianca and Cal's short moment was short-lived after Carl left them. The woman from the gates returned with Rick, and Bianca's attention turned toward her. Bianca left Cal's side despite his protest and met the woman halfway.

⠀⠀⠀"Thank God," Bianca whispered into the woman's shoulder, hugging her.

⠀⠀⠀"I know, T-Dog saved me," the woman told her softly, removing herself from the hug after a minute and holding Bianca back by the arms. "He made sure even... even after he was bit," she said through tears.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca sucked in a sharp breath at the news. She wiped her hands across her face. The woman frowned solemnly, pinching her hands against Bianca's skin in reassurance. Bianca then nodded, understanding that T-Dog had passed, and returned to Cal's side.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca took his hand this time and led Cal inside along with Carol as she introduced them.

⠀⠀⠀Cal had lived within a small town community for almost a year that had electricity, water, and food on demand and a little less than a hundred people within its walls. Going back into the prison was hard to return to. Dark moments from eating crackers and spam in an abandoned apartment surrounded by strangers flooded his mind.

⠀⠀⠀The prison was cold and unwelcoming, even with the warmth Cal felt earlier prickling at his skin. Carol explained quickly that an outside group had found their way into the prison and was trying to find passage into their group. Carol then went on to ask them not to talk to them where they waited in the same holding pattern as Cal and Michonne had. Rick's job was to determine if they would stay or go, not anyone else's.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca didn't have a problem with keeping out of the way, which seemed out of character for her. However, she was tired from her journey, so Cal chalked it up to that. Bianca led him through the cell block but stopped when she noticed Beth collecting a baby into her arms.

⠀⠀⠀Cal watched Bianca's face intently. The way her expression changed so suddenly felt like it never had. One moment she was okay, her expression neutral, and then he blinked. Bianca looked near tears, a watery frown pulling down her features and her face flush with unexpressed emotions.

⠀⠀⠀Beth noticed her stare and smiled faintly.

⠀⠀⠀"You wanna hold her?" Beth asked sweetly, staring down at the baby.

⠀⠀⠀"No!" Bianca said suddenly, her face turning bright red and her hand in Cal's grip was suddenly bone-crushing. "No, I—I'm tired. I should go to bed."

⠀⠀⠀Beth looked at Bianca but didn't seem appalled by her sudden reaction. She only gave Bianca an understanding look in response. Cal believed it was because of his earlier knowledge that Bianca didn't like kids, but he wondered if it might be something else.

⠀⠀⠀Cal didn't have the nerve or chance to ask as Bianca dragged Cal behind her and into a cell, she claimed as her own. The room felt stifling like the rest of the prison. Bricks painted gray, speckles of blood attempted to be scrubbed away but not all the way, a toilet on one side of the room and a bunk bed on the other side.

⠀⠀⠀None of it seemed real, especially her.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca sat on the lower bunk and pulled back the covers. She laid down, her head resting on the flat pillow, and she stared expectantly up at him. He felt like he was dreaming.

⠀⠀⠀Bianca's hand patted the open side of the bunk, and he floated into bed beside her. When he settled, Bianca curled into his side, resting her head on his chest. If he closed his eyes, they were back in college when he'd show up unexpectedly to her dorm.

⠀⠀⠀Cal's fingers brushed through her hair as he untangled the knots, and not long after, he could hear the soft snores. Cal couldn't sleep, however. Bianca was in his arms, he had everything he wanted, and it didn't feel quite right still.

⠀⠀⠀Cal pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind as he opened his eyes. If he couldn't sleep, he might as well take her in. He would memorize the features he missed so dearly so he would never forget and think of the future they might still get together even if it was nothing like he'd ever imagined.

AUTHOR'S NOTE —

Sigh. I love them but there's so much other stuff going on it's hard to focus on this. I kind of forgot these two scenes were next but I enjoy them. Kind of a calm interlude before the storm.

SONG: Mind Over Matter by Young the Giant

Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you'd like. However, this is an all kind of reader safe space. So even if you ghost read or comment every chapter, I hope you know it means the world to me that you've come into this fic ♡ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and until the next one.