CHAPTER TWENTY THREE.
( a bond unbroken. )

IT HAPPENED IN THE NIGHT— the vision that jolted Shadow awake.

It was always the same one now; her death. The woods. Those three vampires, always trailing her. Laughing as their looming figures indulged themselves on her fear.

Fire in her veins. On her skin. In her heart.

Shadow wasn't sure what it meant. Dwelling on it was out of the question, regardless of Jasper's concern. He didn't seem to believe her when she blamed the horror on a nightmare.

  It took him a while to soothe her back to sleep, even longer to let it go.

  When she finally woke, it was noon and he was gone. In his absence, she couldn't help letting the anxiety fester. Every thought consumed by the impending doom inching closer to her door.

It was nauseating— so much so that Shadow found herself racing for the bathroom. It wasn't until she looked in the mirror that she realized her fear had manifested itself on her face. With gaunt eyes and dark circles just beneath, she was the picture of exhaustion.

Sleep was no longer an easy thing, hence her last-ditch efforts in having Jasper stay the night. But, not even he was enough to chase away the dreams. It was sickening.

Shadow sunk to the floor, feeling defeated as her mind went over those images again and again. Searing pain against her neck. On her wrists. The feeling of being burned alive from the inside-out. Shadow didn't want to die in that way; brutal and terrified.

Shadow didn't want to die at all.

The realization shouldn't have been shocking, but it was. Shadow had been so prepared to let go— had been so sure that it was all set in stone. From the moment the vision had first plagued her, Shadow was sure that acceptance was her only option.

But, if she was going, she wasn't going silent and still. A lamb for the slaughter. She refused.

There was still so much life inside her. A whole flame that embodied everything she was. Everything she could be.

There was a whole lifetime of things still left for her to do. She had a prom night to celebrate with her friends. She had a restaurant to visit with her family. She had her father's dream to see her make it to graduation.

How could she just give all of that up?

It didn't matter what the world wanted from her. Screw fate and the consequences of it. Shadow was determined not to be a bystander to this awful power. She was taking control now.

In a matter of minutes, Shadow had herself dressed and ready to leave. There was no time time to call ahead. She was seeking out Carlisle and Alice now, while the courage was still fresh.

As soon as her tires hit the pavement, Shadow found the anxiety easing from her. Her grip steadied on the handles. The chill of the wind served her well, but that knot in her stomach never left. A constant reminder of what was coming.

It was one in the afternoon when she parked her motorcycle in the Cullen's driveway. Jasper was already outside, looking down at her from the balcony. She blinked and he was gone.

Shadow looked to the door as it opened and found him waiting there. It made her heart ache in its entirety. Another thing she didn't want to give up? A lifetime of loving him.

When she entered the range of his abilities, she knew he was holding back. Shadow was grateful for it. This fear wasn't something she wanted him to bear.

"Alice saw you coming," he said, just as she entered.

Shadow turned to him abruptly, "Did she tell you why?" She doubted it, but it still made her nervous. Alice was more inclined to be polite about private matters. Unlike her sibling.

"No," he replied, though he looked annoyed by that fact. "But, Carlisle sent the rest of the family out on a hunt. I was just waiting to let you in before I leave."

Shadow didn't bother to ask what a 'hunt' looked like for vampires. What she imagined was explanation enough. When she didn't reply, Jasper nodded, as if to say farewell.

Shadow reached for his arm, "Stay." She wasn't sure if she could do this without him.

"You might not like what I have to say," she told him, "But, I want you to be there."

Jasper's brow furrowed. "I'll stay," he said softly, taking a moment to look at her carefully. "If that's what you want."

"It is," she told him, caring little if her words were too eager.

Jasper closed the door and took her hand. Shadow felt the courage dwindle as he led her up the stairs towards Carlisle's office. The idea that nothing could be done was daunting... but not enough for her to turn around.

  Regardless of the outcome, she had to try.

When they entered, both Alice and Carlisle were already waiting. The Cullen girl looked to her with a smile, but not even that was enough to lift her spirits. Not while Shadow could clearly sense everyone's unease.

  "Can a vision change?" The Swan girl asked, too restless to bother waiting.

  Alice visibly straightened, "Have you seen them too?"

  Shadow whirled on her, keen for an explanation. But, Carlisle had other plans. He gestured to the couch situated against the far wall.

  "There's no need to rush this," he explained, "We don't know what your vision means yet." Carlisle offered his hand for her coat and he took his time as he hung it at the door.

  Shadow was comforted by his calmness, but also made restless by it. Though, it was hard not to be relieved by the mindful way in which he handled her fear. As if death itself could halt entirely at Carlisle's polite say-so.

  "Alright," she said, taking a deep breath as she sat. "But, I'd really like to get this over with."

It was better to stomp out her hope before it could spread. If her past were any indication, being desperate for good news had only ever left her hurt. So, Shadow figured it was best to withhold her expectations.

After a silence, Alice spoke. "How often?"

  Shadow wrung her hands together. "All the time," she admitted. "And it's always the same. Nothing changes. I just die." It was hard not to let the words sound bleak.

  Jasper visibly recoiled, "Are you sure that's what's happening?" He seemed unable to convince himself that her mortality was a very real thing.

  "My visions can always change, are you sure yours can't do the same?" Alice's question was a gentle prod, as if she knew Shadow couldn't handle holding out hope.

  However, for her sake, Shadow thought it over. "The outcome has never changed... but the circumstances have. In small ways," she admitted, struggling to draw on her memory.

  Shadow could remember the nightmares; haunting visions of loved ones dying. The details were harder to remember now that she was older. Back then, it had always been so much easier to brush them off. They were always just dreams. Bad dreams.

  Clearly, that was no longer the case.

But, it never changed. The subject of her visions always passed, even when events from the vision itself were avoided. There would always be a new one to take its place. There was no way to stop it, or warn someone of what was bound to happen— because it was bound.

  "I think it's getting closer," Shadow continued, fingers pressed tightly together now. She hardly realized what she was doing until Jasper reached out to slip his hand into hers.

  "What makes you think so?" Carlisle asked, having observed the conversation silently thus far.

  The Swan girl glanced to him, then to Jasper. "The closer a death comes, the more frequent the visions." Her stomach turned with the realization of what she'd have to tell them.

  "And how often have the visions been coming?" Carlisle didn't entirely look prepared to hear the answer.

  "Every night," she whispered.

The entire room went still. Shadow was suddenly nervous. Alice looked to Carlisle, but he was looking at Jasper. Shadow turned, but the Hale boy was already gone. The door shook on its hinges, left open in his wake.

Shadow frowned, "Well, that certainly inspires hope."

Before anyone could reprimand her to 'go easy' on him, Shadow continued. "I saw my father's death coming. I had the same dream every night, days before he died."

  "And your mother?" Alice asked, peering at her curiously. Carlisle cut her a sharp look.

  Shadow buried her wince. "No. I think some part of her was already gone. I didn't see anything, because there was no one left to see." She wasn't sure if that made sense, but it was the best explanation she had.

  Carlisle regarded her carefully for a moment. "I've been looking into banshee's since our last meeting— and I found something."

  Shadow's interest was immediately piqued. She stood from the couch, taking the seat across from Carlisle's desk. It was hard to restrain her eagerness as Carlisle waited for Alice to take the seat next to her.

  "There isn't much left that remarks on the existence of banshee's," he told them, "The Volturi destroyed most of it. What I do have is only what they permitted me to learn."

Shadow felt her mouth go dry. "What?" Everything she needed to know was gone— destroyed. All at the whim of a group she didn't even care to know about. "Why would anyone do that?"

Carlisle looked uneasy; an expression he rarely donned. "Before anything, you should know who exactly the Volturi are, Shadow."

She scowled, but didn't argue.

"The Volturi," Alice began, "are a powerful coven built upon keeping the vampire world intact and— most importantly— secret."

Carlisle nodded as if to verify her words. "And some hundred years ago, banshee's began banding together to form their own covens. Large groups that claimed it was necessary for protection against the vampires who were hunting them."

"Why were they being hunted?" Shadow wasn't entirely sure she wanted an explanation, but she couldn't help herself.

Carlisle's expression twisted in disgust. "A foul rumour," he explained, the words biting. "It was said that banshee blood was superior to human. Hundreds died, even those that were only suspected of being banshees."

Carlisle sighed, releasing some of that anger. In its place, he struggled to hide grief. Shadow braced herself, stomach turning.

"However, the leader of the Volturi did not believe these covens were built out of protection. The idea of grappling for power with another species was too chaotic to allow. So, the Volturi sought out every group and— each time— they found a reason to slaughter them."

Shadow felt the words like a punch to the gut. Entire covens slaughtered, all for the sake of power. It didn't just make her sick. It made her angry.

"It was the Volturi's belief that these covens were plotting to destroy the delicate balance the Volturi had forged between the human world and ours," Carlisle said, unable to look Shadow in the eye.

There was loss on his face. For something that was forcibly taken and then erased. The Swan girl studied Carlisle a moment longer. The hard look in his eyes.

"And what's your belief?" She found herself asking.

Carlisle looked at her like she had just said something incriminating. "The word of the Volturi is law," he said softly. Sternly. "They are all that stands between our two worlds falling into chaos."

Shadow frowned at him. "I don't understand," she said, confused by the sudden change. It was clear to her that he didn't entirely agree with the actions of the Volturi. Why wouldn't he voice it?

"What happens when you break the law?" Alice asked, her words designed so carefully.

The Swan girl looked at her, slightly put off by the imploring look in her eyes. "Punishment?" She asked, but the words came out unsure.

"And how do you punish a vampire in a world where no cell can contain them? When time means so little to the immortal?" Carlisle looked almost ashamed that he was leaving her to figure it out on her own.

And Shadow realized what they were saying. What possible punishment could there be for a being whose strength was unmatched— un-killable by wounds or the passage of time? It was death.

Shadow was at a loss. There was still so much she didn't know. "How do you even kill a vampire?" And why were they discussing it at the mere mention of challenging this Volturi coven's beliefs?

"You tear the body apart to incapacitate them," came Jasper's familiar drawl from the door. "Then, you burn the pieces."

Shadow didn't even bother to look in his direction. "How good of you to join us."

She felt his gaze brush over her. "I didn't think you needed to be coddled." Oh, he was about to be deader than he already was.

Shadow sneered at him. "Are you sure you're not the one that needs coddling?"

  His glare was unforgiving. "Do you enjoy this?" He asked, stepping close enough that he loomed just over her. "Do think this is easy? Simple?"

  "Jasper," Carlisle warned. "That's enough."

  That frustration flared to life in her. "No, let him speak," she insisted, rising from her seat. 

  "I'm so eager to hear about how hard it is for Jasper Hale— eternal teen— because his human high school sweetheart is going to die sooner than expected." She was in his face, refusing to let him hold his height over her.

  Jasper's laughter was vicious. "You think that's what this is? Me being selfish?" That anger was so vivid. Shadow could feel its influence on her completely.

  "Tell her, Carlisle," Jasper said. A quiet calm descended on his face. A storm in his eyes. "Tell her what happens if she goes."

  No one spoke.

  Shadow felt her anger falter, replaced with confusion. Fear. "What the hell is he talking about?"

  Silence.

  Jasper finally tore his eyes from hers. "If you don't say it, I will."

  Shadow looked to Carlisle as he stood from his chair, but even his usual picture of calm was in disarray. He seemed to debate his options. Not that there were many now that Shadow's suspicion was roused.

"Say it," she insisted, staring Carlisle down. Shadow didn't bother hiding her anger. She was sick of the lying— of the never-ending secrecy that threatened to bury her under.

Carlisle caved. "Shadow... Do you remember what you said about the weeks before your mother died?"

  Her knees felt suddenly weak. Shadow couldn't speak. Blood on her hands. Her mother had already been gone, long before she truly passed. Blood on her clothes. But, what did that actually mean?

  "Do you remember anything about what your parents relationship was like?" Carlisle continued, urging her to remember. "With your father being a banshee?"

  Shadow could never forget it. So much of her younger years had been consumed by her parents reminiscing. Sharing their memories with her— sharing their love.

  Shadow adored her father; for how he looked out for his family, his wife. How he had travelled and moved with her mother right from high school. Her father had left behind a dozen opportunities just to stay with her. With his family.

"Your mom is the centre of my universe," he had told her once. "Where she goes, gravity pulls me right along with her. Two ends of the same string."

"And where am I on this string?" Shadow had teased.

  He looked at her very seriously then. "You, Shaden, have your own string."

  Shadow was so sure that she knew what he meant back then; that he loved them both equally. It was the only thing that made sense. She figured that it meant they shared a string all their own. A bond entirely different.

  And while that was true, it was clear now that her father had meant it in more ways than one.

  "The same way vampires have mates, banshee's have bonds."

  Shadow couldn't exactly tell who was speaking beyond the ringing in her ears. So many details flashed between her thoughts. Things that had seemed so minuscule. How could she have missed it?

  The dreams leading to her father's death. Her mother always standing just off to the sidelines; a spectator, in the same way Shadow was. A detail she had always overlooked. How could she be so stupid?

And she could never forget the way her mother had reacted— and then stopped reacting altogether when he died. The way she simply stopped existing.

  "The bonds are so strong that two people who are Bound cannot be separated by life and death." Shadow was distinctly aware of Jasper's voice as he spoke.

So acutely aware, that she hardly recognized her own. "How do you break a bond?"

Jasper seemed to stop moving entirely.

But, Shadow's father had left and taken her mother with him. Kora Swan was his center, in the same way he was hers. Two ends of the same string. A string not even Death itself could cut.

How could Shadow doom them both and not stop it?

Yet, Shadow couldn't imagine letting him go. Not ever. The idea of it alone was a jagged wound. A pain in her chest she couldn't breathe past. It was enough for her to realize how real this was.

  There was no breaking this, not without first breaking herself.

Shadow tried to breath, but air wasn't coming. She was choking entirely on panic. On memory. A lifetime of regret. The anxiety led to fear and the fear led to a crushing wave of devastation.

Shadow couldn't even find the strength to be embarrassed as she stumbled to the floor. She didn't even have the strength to cry. It was just pain. How long had she spent being angry? Resenting her mother?

  This whole time, she thought they had left her behind— and it was never true. None of it was. There was never even a choice.

  Her chest hurt. She didn't have to open her eyes to know the room was spinning. But, the feel of her nails digging into her skin was only a temporary focal point.

  "Shadow," Alice whispered, her voice soothing. Always lulling her to comfort. "Let me help."

  Shadow felt herself jerk away at the cold feel of Alice's hand on her back, but it did little to deter her. Alice slowly guided Shadow to sit with her back against the desk, her knees tucked in close. She had no energy to fight. To be angry.

  "Count with me," Alice instructed.

  And Shadow tried. She spoke through every gasping breath for each number Alice made her count. Focused solely on the lithe fingers ticking down from ten.

  It was only when she could finally breath that the tears came. Shadow balled her fists against her eyes, seething and distressed with her own emotions. The reaction of her body felt like betrayal.

"No more lies," Shadow rasped out, still curled on the floor. "No more secrets."

  If this simple rule was something they couldn't abide by, then she was done. Regardless of if it meant carving out the space Jasper held inside her— Shadow would risk that. For her own sake. 

When no one said anything, Shadow forced herself to stem the tears. It took another handful of minutes, but eventually she was on her feet. She had to do this.

Shadow turned to Carlisle, whose remorse was written all over his face. He didn't give her the chance to reiterate her request. He nodded once.

It was as if everyone could sense her teetering on the edge. Not that Shadow was entirely sure what the edge even was anymore. Between the anger and all-consuming grief, she was one bad day from completely spiralling.

Shadow knew everyone wanted to call it quits, but she wasn't finished. Not until she got every last secret out of them. She sat back down. No one argued.

"If the Volturi are what keep you all hidden, then what happens if a human finds out?" Shadow figured there was no better starting point than the most loaded questions first.

Carlisle didn't exactly look eager to reply. "The human must either be changed, or—"

Shadow refused to hear the end of that sentence. "And how do you plan on protecting Bella from this?" She couldn't help her accusatory tone.

"We can't," Alice said. She was the only one who met the Swan girl's gaze. The only one who wouldn't lie to her, Shadow realized.

"Bella's future has been tied with Edward's for a long, long time," Alice explained.

  And it always would be.

  She didn't have to say it. They all knew the truth, even if Shadow refused to admit it. It seemed the future was entirely out of her control now. All that was left for them to do was reign in the damage.

Shadow fixed her hard gaze on a specific spot. "Fine. Anything else I need to know? Like whether or not I'll be hunted down by an entirely different coven of vampires now?"

"You won't," Jasper insisted, but his cold tones weren't reassuring.

"Thanks," she spoke dryly. "I'm going home now." Shadow stood from her seat on shaking legs.

  She tried not be too upset when Jasper stepped out of her path, lingering within Carlisle's office as she left. It was bad enough that she expected him to follow. It was even worse knowing that she wanted him to.

  Shadow would always want him there.

She paused at the end of the steps leading down from the Cullen house. They wouldn't have enough time together as it was. She was angry— and with every right to be. But, not enough to not want him.

  This bond between them was a frustrating thing...

"Are you coming or not?" Shadow asked, her cheeks flushed as she turned towards the house. When there was no response, Shadow felt her frustration peak.

  "Fine!" She snapped. With an abrupt turn on her heel, she made for her motorcycle. The frustration turned to anger when she saw Jasper already waiting there.

"You know, normal people say 'hello'," she told him, planting herself a few feet away. It required every effort to restrain her attitude.

His stare was uninterested. "Hello."

Shadow usually would've lost it at his remark, but found herself distracted by his spot on her motorcycle. "Do you really think I love you enough to let you drive?"

"You love me enough to take me home after fighting with me," he challenged. "Now can you get on?"

Shadow felt a muscle in her lip twitch. "I could change my mind."

"You won't," he stated, holding out the helmet she'd left on the back of her seat. "Get on." Jasper clearly wasn't asking this time.

Shadow pursed her lip, but begrudgingly took the seat behind his large frame. It was a struggle to resist throttling his neck. As soon as he had the motorcycle started, he gave the handles a sharp turn, spraying rocks across the driveway. Shadow immediately yelped, her grip tightening around his waist.

She was sure of it now; Shadow was definitely never letting him drive again.

Edited 02/25/2016 @2:25 AM

AUTHORS NOTE: Shadow and Jasper vs. Pissing each other off but still expecting to hold hands right after.