CHAPTER NINE.
( wailing woman. )

SHADOW SWAN COULD TELL something wasn't right. It was the first thing she noticed as her eyes blinked slowly open. She could feel it in the way her head swam and her room smelled different.

It wasn't until memory corrected her confusion that Shadow quickly realized that she wasn't in her room. Mortification was her only immediate emotion. Shadow lifted her gaze to the ceiling as the monitor beeped next to her hospital bed.

  When she realized she couldn't will herself into another reality, Shadow let her eyes close with a low groan. A headache was pounding against her temples and her body was tired and sore. Even now, she could feel the tense ache of her muscles despite her rest.

  Shadow pulled herself up from the bed. The rough blanket draped over her did little to keep out the cold and she shivered as jade eyes studied her surroundings. Shadow would've liked to feign some surprise at her predicament, but she wasn't.

When a girl starts screaming bloody murder and passes out, where better to take her than a hospital? (Mental or otherwise.)

She sighed, rubbing her eyes as she wondered what would happen next. She hadn't planned on telling Charlie about her condition any time soon. But, with her sudden screaming fit, there was no doubt in Shadow's mind that she'd be in fort the lecture of a lifetime. Something along the lines of how 'keeping important things secret is bad.'

  Anxiety crept beneath her skin. Shadow wasn't necessarily worried about her Uncle finding out. Her concern had more to do with how he would handle the news than anything.

  Random screaming fits weren't exactly normal. At least, not to anyone who wasn't close to Shadow's family. She knew it wasn't going to be easy news to hear, never-mind the mental load. To throw this onto Charlie, and so suddenly too?

  Shadow couldn't blame him if he was angry.

Her mother had never shared with her brother the nature of Shadow's screaming fits and it hadn't been mentioned once since Shadow had come to live with them. Of course, most adults would be concerned over these things. Considering how much Charlie fretted over her cousin, Shadow didn't doubt that he would start hovering over her too.

Which was exactly why she'd kept it from him. She had been doing fine. Months had passed since her last, real fit. What the hell happened?

Another groan, except this time it was one of exasperation. She was tired of thinking about this. She wasn't ready to explain to Charlie why these screaming fits happened to her— not even she knew exactly why they occurred.

Her doctor back home had deduced that it was merely a way for Shadow to vent out stress, grief, and anger. But, the Swan girl knew better than that. Her screaming fits weren't because she was an 'angsty, emotional teenager looking for an outlet to relieve stress.' There was something more to them.

Of course, she'd never told her therapist any of this. But, that had only been to save herself from getting five meetings a week instead of one. So, she went along with their 'professional opinions' and chose not to argue. Eventually, she got used to the fits and the routine discussions.

It became a sense of normal for her.

They weren't a constant occurrence, but when they did happen, it wasn't as shocking as the first few times. Though, Shadow couldn't help but feel that there was something different about this one. She knew it.

  The fear she'd felt was something raw and real and new.

Fear was something Shadow was entirely unused to. She'd long since learned what to expect from her fits. An impending sense of danger? It just wasn't something the Swan girl could wrap her head around.

Shadow had this strange feeling that there was something about this screaming fit that set it apart from all the others.

She knew she shouldn't give it too much thought, her therapist had advised her not to. But, she couldn't help it. While screaming fits weren't exactly normal for most, Shadow had been dealing with them for years. Passing out right after one just wasn't the usual stuff.

It was strange— it was strange and it bothered her. Something told her this was important. The panic and fear that struck Shadow in those moments were still vivid and fresh in her memory.

It didn't help that the word that sprung to her mind wouldn't stop slithering its way in from the furthest corners of her conscious. It was useless to push it back. To ignore it.

It demanded attention that Shadow refused to give it.

The Swan girl tried to fix her thoughts on something else— anything that would distract her from her wild and foolish accusation. She tried to justify it by telling herself that her mind was simply overreacting; that the panic she'd felt was the reason why she had come up with such a strange excuse for the Cullen's actions.

Shadow closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. She could feel herself becoming overwhelmed with her own thoughts. Vampires weren't real, they didn't exist. To believe anything otherwise would be absolutely insane.

And Shadow did not want to add onto the list of things already wrong with her (or the list of reasons why she should be in a hospital.)

Shadow released a laugh, though the sound came out shaky and nervous. She felt childish. Vampires were something little kids believed in, there was no reason for her to feel as if the Cullen's were strange just because they chose not to eat.

A well-polished and manicured family like that? Anyone would believe the simple excuse of 'dieting' before vampirism. Shadow wasn't going to drive herself crazy over possible anemics with unhealthy habits.

She refused to think about the matter any longer. Shadow feared that if she put any more thought to it, she would drive herself mad. She let out a sigh and leaned back in her bed, waiting for a nurse.

Her thoughts ran adrift and, fortunately, none of them returned to the Cullen's. Instead, they went to memories of her mother and father. A smile bloomed as she recalled how happy her family had once been. How simple her life used to be.

Things had been so much easier then.

There was a time when smiles didn't have to be forced and dinners were never in silence. Now, when she sat at a dinner table, her throat felt constricted because her parents were no longer there. In their place were relatives who she felt a burden to— and this incident would only further prove that.

Shadow buried her head in her hands. There was no telling how much she had worried Charlie. It was bad enough that he was constantly checking in on her, asking how she was doing and if she felt okay. He didn't need the added stress of this.

  Shadow looked at the clip on her finger, the one that connected her to the heart moniter. She reached over to take it off, figuring she wouldn't be needing it much longer. However, before the ginger could even so much as touch the piece of plastic, a voice spoke up.

Shadow froze in place.

"I would strongly advise that you don't take off that clip." The voice was masculine and smooth and when Shadow looked up, she found herself staring at a man with the charming good looks only a Cullen could behold.

  "Carlisle," Shadow found herself whispering, recalling the adoptive parent that Jasper had mentioned so little of.

Carlisle had the same striking features as his family; a straight nose, even features, and the tell-tale flawless skin. As well as honey-gold eyes. The serene expression on his face was almost calming. Almost.

Carlisle looked mildly surprised by Shadow's recognition, but was quick to regain his smile. "I'm assuming Jasper has told you about me?" He looked down at his clipboard as he asked.

Shadow assumed that the chart had something to do with her vitals and condition. Her eyes fell, and panic swelled once more in her chest. "About the adoptive parent thing or the vampire thing?" It was out before she could stop it.

  Shadow stilled. It took her only a moment to realize what she'd said, but by then it was too late to play it off as a joke. She was crazy.

Shadow wanted to physically reach out and shove the words back into her mouth. Her eyes widened, "I'm sorry, I was—" She couldn't finish, she didn't know how to explain what she was thinking. Her thoughts were sparking on and off like a fried wire.

Carlisle stood still. For a while he said nothing. His gaze rose slowly from his clipboard, studying the Swan girl with calculated eyes. Probably contemplating my sanity, she thought mournfully.

  But, his next words would kill her sour sense of humour and lay it to rest.

Carlisle looked away. "I think we should save that discussion for another day," he said softly. Shadow's heart plummeted. What?

The door opened. Shadow looked away from Carlisle, fear quickening her pulse and sending chills across her skin. Her heart was racing erratically inside of her chest. She should've laughed. She should have thought that he was messing with her, or testing her sanity.

  Shadow didn't know what to think, nonetheless feel. He had just given her all the confirmation she needed and she still couldn't believe him. Vampires? The mere idea was so incredibly impossible.

Shadow had never been one to believe in fairytales, but all the evidence was right there in front her. How could she ignore it? How could she deny it.

  Those eyes weren't natural. No one's skin could be so smooth, or as hard as polished stone. There was a reason she felt so drawn to them. Why everyone felt so terrified and awed. They were made to draw in prey.

Shadow's breath hitched and her hands gripped the sheets. Her heart was beating painfully fast now, and she could almost feel the terror radiating from her body. She refused to believe this, it was absolutely insane.

"Miss Swan, please calm down. If you don't, we'll be forced to put you to sleep." Shadow looked at the nurse. How long had she been there? She hadn't even heard the door open. Nothing was making sense.

  With her breathing laboured and eyes panicked, Shadow looked at Carlisle. Her body burned with sudden anger.

"I'll take sleep over this any day," she bit out, glaring. The last thing Shadow saw as the medication kicked in was Carlisle's eyes, his piercing gaze never leaving hers until she was fast asleep.

The only thing Shadow could be sure of then, was that Carlisle Cullen was achingly, painfully sad.

→

When Shadow returned to consciousness, she found that she wasn't alone.

Beside her bed was a familiar boy with familiar curls— and at Jasper's side was Alice, who smiled at the ginger with hesitance. All Shadow could think was 'they know that I know.' The realization didn't come with the dread she thought it would.

  In its place was an odd calm; almost stifling.

Shadow opened her mouth to speak, but choked on her words as Charlie appeared. He stepped out from behind the curtain shielding her hospital bed. His eyes were tired and beneath them Shadow could see visible bags beginning to form.

  Tears sprung to her eyes alongside her guilt. She was tired of being a burden to her family and she hated that she couldn't control these fits. Most of all, Shadow despised the fact that she had no idea what they were caused by. Despite what her therapist and doctor's had told her, it was hard to believe that her outbursts were the product of stress.

If she had wanted an outlet, she would've found it in the sports she once participated in, or the parties she used to sneak out to, or the friends she used to confide in.

  Any alternative would have been better than the screaming. The gut-wrenching sadness. The way she couldn't control her own body.

Shadow bit her lip, looking down at her lap and pulling off pieces of lint that were stuck to the blanket. Everyone in the room was silent, simply because there was nothing to say. But, there was— there was so much that Shadow knew had to be said.

  She just didn't know how to say it.

  "Would you like us to leave?" Jasper asked, his eyes only on Shadow. She stared at him for a long moment, then nodded. Why was he here?

  Shadow felt her tense muscles relax. It didn't matter. Her worry faded as he slowly left the room, taking Alice with him.

  When the door closed, Charlie sat at the edge of the bed. He didn't look angry, just concerned. "Why didn't you tell me?"

  "I'm sorry," was all she could think to say. They were the only words that felt right. She didn't know how to explain her problem, so she would apologize for it instead.

"I was so worried when the hospital called, I—" Charlie stopped, visibly shaken by his own thoughts. "I thought something bad had happened to you, too."

  Charlie looked at her then, and Shadow immediately wept at the sight of his tears. This was more than worry. It was fear. It was grief.

  "I'm sorry," she choked out again.

  "Come here," he said softly. Shadow felt the tears fall harder as her Uncle embraced her. She clung to him, wounded and relieved to be held again; to have someone who still cared.

  "Let's go home."

→

  It didn't take long for Shadow to be discharged. After routine paperwork and other check-ups, they were done and on their way to the parking lot. Jasper and Alice never returned to her room and Shadow was grateful. She didn't know what to say to them, about her screaming fits or... things of a different nature.

  "Chief Swan," Carlisle's voice called out.

  Shadow wanted to curse. She wanted to go home. She wanted to sleep, and convince herself that her encounter with Carlisle Cullen had been a nightmare.

  She turned with her Uncle. Carlisle was no longer in his work attire. Instead, he was dressed casually, clearly having finished work.

  "Is something wrong?" Charlie asked, his tone hiding none of his concern.

  "No, not at all. If it's alright with you, I'd like to meet with Shadow to discuss options about her... condition."

  His pause was not lost on Shadow. She furrowed her brow. "Options?" she asked.

  Carlisle nodded, but didn't look at her. "Your previous doctors and other professionals might not have had the access to these resources. I can't guarantee anything, but I can help."

  "Sounds expensive," Shadow challenged.

  "That isn't your concern," Charlie warned her, picking up on her defensive tone. "A meeting would be good, whenever you're free Dr. Cullen."

  "I have time this morning, if that works with you."

  Shadow felt her stomach twist with panic. She did not want to be alone with him. She didn't want to wonder anymore at strange happenings. At stranger people.

  "Does another day work? I have to be at the station this morning," Charlie explained. Shadow's heart swelled with relief.

  "I can drop her off."

  Shadow felt her body jolt at the sudden appearance of Alice. The smaller girl looped her arm in Shadow's own. Her smile was all charm.

  Charlie's hesitation lasted for all of three seconds. "Yeah, that works," he replied, not at all concerned. Shadow wanted to throttle someone. "But, it's straight home afterwards, Shadow, and I want to know everything as soon as you get home."

  Oh, she was definitely going to throttle someone.

  Charlie left fairly quickly, leaving Shadow in the care of Alice and Carlisle. She knew she had no reason to be afraid, but she was. Shadow looked at Carlisle, who was watching her again with that gloomy gaze.

"Have you ever heard of something called a banshee, Shadow?"

→

From where she sat in the passenger seat, Shadow turned to give Jasper a pointed look. "So, why exactly are we going to your parents house?"

  As of current, the pair were in Edward's shiny Volvo, on their way to the Cullen household to 'get some answers' as Jasper had so vaguely explained.

It was a red flag at all angles, but there she was; sitting in a car with Jasper Hale. Alice and Carlisle had left ahead of them, in another vehicle. Shadow reasoned with the idea that perhaps Carlisle's resources resided in his home.

  But, her imagination had been slowly eating away at her nerves.

Shadow was exhausted, confused, and tired. She would have rathered this entire ordeal be a prank—a set-up to embarrass her— than be faced with this improbable 'truth.' Every time she thought about it, all she could feel was the urge to laugh, and a deep-set panic that had been getting harder to ignore.

"You want to know why you have this condition, don't you? Who better to ask than a doctor— put your seatbelt on."

  Shadow rolled her eyes. Still, she reluctantly clipped on the belt. Once that was done, she looked at Jasper with a wry grin. "Sorry to disappoint, but Carlisle already said that he doesn't know—"

  Jasper cut in fairly quick. "Carlisle lied."

Shadow's heart stuttered in her chest. "Carlisle what?" She breathed, disbelief clouding her judgement. A doctor lying to their patient? There had to be some kind of rule that went against that.

Shadow was stumbling over her thoughts. This entire situation was already proving to be a mess and all she could think was, what on Earth could have compelled Carlisle to lie? If someone found out, this could be a career-ending feat. Prank or not, the Swan girl felt suddenly anxious.

"Carlisle knows exactly what your screams are caused by, Shadow. But, you have to promise to be open to any suggestion he might give. Keep your mind open and, no matter what, don't—"

"Scream?" She finished for him, unamused.

Jasper shrugged, looking back to the road. "I was going to say freak out, but that works too."

Shadow gave an annoyed tsk with her tongue, crossing her arms. She had no idea what she was doing here, in this car with Jasper. It wasn't as if Carlisle could really have anything for her.

All that could be said by the Cullen man was the same as every other doctor she'd been with. What changed? Sure, Jasper could say that Carlisle had lied. He could say that he knew exactly what made Shadow scream.

But if he'd known before, then why hadn't he told her? Why hadn't he told Charlie? Shadow toyed with her fingers, knuckles cracking. Whatever was happening didn't sit right with her.

She felt nauseous and, ever since her scream-fest back at the school, she'd been tired. It was worse today. In turn, that also meant Shadow's patience was wearing thin.

There was a build-up inside of her; a whirlwind of emotions stirring between the hollows of Shadow's ribs.

Shadow feared what might happen when that build up reached its peak. She sighed, rubbing her eyes before leaning against the car door. She should have been at home, studying for the Chemistry test she had the next day.

Instead of balancing equations, Shadow's mind was clouded with doubt and foolish horrors.

The Swan girl could only hope that this entire ordeal would turn out better than what she feared. Carlisle's words at the hospital had not been forgotten, and they gnawed at her thoughts without relent. This is ridiculous, Shadow thought to herself.

Annoyance sparked to life. She wanted this joke to end. The car turned onto a winding gravel road and, slowly, the Cullen house appeared through the trees. Shadow inhaled a breath of surprise as they parked.

Jasper got out, the sound of his door drawing Shadow out of her reverence. "Here comes the punch-line," she muttered, stepping out into the morning mist.

Shadow followed Jasper carefully, taking her time to study the structure in front of her. There was so much glass. A wrap-around deck surrounded the entirety of what she could see of the home. It was beautiful— but that was to be expected of the Cullen family.

Jasper didn't bother to wait, walking into the house without another glance back. The ginger scoffed. She wasn't oblivious. She could tell he was upset with her.

Shadow had no desire to apologize. To her knowledge, she'd done nothing to deserve his cold shoulder. Jasper's attitude wasn't her first concern anyway. Not while he was treating her condition like a game to be toyed with.

Possibly, his anger was due to her refusal to go along with their joke. Shadow felt her jaw clench as she marched up the steps after Jasper. She wished she had brought her bike with her. Having reached her capacity for bullshit, Shadow was ready to escape.

She pushed open the door, making a show of her surprise, "Wow." She kicked off her shoes. "You know, for vampires I was expecting more doom and gloom."

Shadow followed the hallway rather than the staircase. She quickly found herself entering a living room full of Cullens. Her heart skipped a beat. They were all staring at her.

Shadow crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the entrance. She was aiming for casual. No fear? No fun. She wasn't going to let them do this to her.

Emmett grinned from where he sat on the sofa with Rosalie. "We keep the coffins in the basement."

  In spite of the situation, Shadow couldn't help her bitter smile. Rosalie gave Emmett a nudge and Shadow's expression quickly fell. Everyone looked so serious, she almost wanted to applaud them.

Carlisle gestured to the sofa opposite of himself. Nobody was sitting on it. "Please, have a seat."

"I'm fine standing," she replied, the ice in her tone unhidden. No one had expected the attitude either, as the family bristled with tension.

"I'm not here to visit or chat. I'm here for answers, if that's all you have." Shadow made a show of glancing at the corners and doorways. The camera crew must have been well-hidden.

Carlisle nodded and his smile was sad again. "That's fair," he said as he glided towards her. Shadow's heart lurched inside of her chest, but he merely offered the water in his hand.

Tentatively, the Swan girl took it, but she didn't take a drink.

Shadow licked her lips, glancing towards the tall, brunette woman who came to stand beside him. This was clearly Esme. She had kind eyes, and they seemed to urge her to say something. Anything.

  "I'm not Irish," Shadow finally blurted, feeling her cheeks warm as Carlisle gave her a curious look.

Shadow sputtered to explain, her free hand waving. "I mean, yeah, I'm a ginger. But, this banshee thing..." she paused and her nervous antics stopped too.

From across the room, Shadow's eyes flitted towards Jasper. He looked away. Shadow crossed her arms once more.

"It's Irish folklore," she explained, "a banshee spirit screams to warn a family that someone is about to die." The Swan girl swallowed back the lump in her throat.

"No one died," she pointed out, but her smile was wicked as she looked at Emmett. "But, I guess that's because you're already dead. Right?"

Carlisle gave the softest sound, like a sigh, "Shaden—"

Shadow was angry. She whirled on him, the name tugging at her heart in a way that made her want to collapse. "Don't call me that," she seethed, her free hand curling into a fist.

That name burned at her chest, and she was so tired. Shadow turned her eyes on Esme, whose expression was so concerned. It made her want to cry.

"And stop looking at me like that," she snapped. "I'm not glass, for God's sake!" Shadow cornered herself by the window, the furthest point from Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens.

  Her against them. Her against the world. It had always felt like that— but this was something different. This was teetering on the edge of dangerous.

Rosalie stood up fast, her glare scalding. "You won't talk to her that way."

"Or what?" Shadow demanded, and her laughter was brutal as she turned to face Rosalie. "Your prank won't go viral? You'll suck me dry?" The Swan girl's heart was writhing in her chest. She couldn't stop now.

Jasper pushed off the wall he was leaning against. He met her eyes, furious. "You think this is a joke?"

  Shadow had to admit that his anger was convincing. "What else am I supposed to think?!" She shouted, the reaction stunning the room into silence.

It was a reset button on the conversation, and Shadow's shoulders sank as she was overcome with sudden calm. She brought a hand to her mouth, fumbling to form an apology as she realized how wrong she was acting. This wasn't like her.

"Jasper." Shadow watched as Carlisle gave the Hale boy a sharp look. She furrowed her brow.

Suddenly, the calm was snatched away with force. The Swan girl gasped. Her knees went weak. She hadn't realized how suffocated she'd felt then. Her previous anger turned to fear.

The build-up of emotions was gone now, and all that was left was a hollow drop. Shadow felt her limbs go numb. "What the fuck was that?"

Shadow drew back as Carlisle took a careful step towards her. He was treating her like she was a frightened deer, and the worst part was that she felt like it.

"Shadow," he spoke her name slowly. "We can explain, but you need to calm down."

Shadow couldn't help it, she laughed. She struggled to muffle it, but caved as she realized how absurd this all was. Shadow was hysterical and she was done taking this seriously.

She sneered, "Calm down? How am I supposed to do that when none of you will give me a real answer." Her grip tightened on the glass in hand.

No one said anything, and Shadow smiled with bitterness. They must have run out of anything convincing enough to say. Not that any part of this ordeal had ever been convincing.

"We have been givin' you a straight answer, you're just too stubborn to listen," Jasper said, his accent made more prominent in his anger. His glare was harsh, but it was nothing compared to hers.

Shadow smiled, but it was without kindness. "Fine," she spat. "Say I'm a banshee. What does that make you then?" Shadow already knew.

She had known when she first met Carlisle in the hospital. It was just a matter of hearing them say it and the contemplation of whether or not she believed them. (Spoiler alert; she didn't. She couldn't.)

Jasper scowled, but Shadow had the time. She thought back to everything she thought she knew about what the Cullens claimed to be. Vampires were characterized by strength beyond comparison, speed beyond sight, and an insatiable desire for blood.

So far, Shadow had seen none of that. All she had to go by were their strange appearances, the clear lack of appetite, and the odd occurrence with her screaming fit. They were mocking her. They had to be.

Shadow shook her head. "I think we're done here." She turned to leave, but a blur in her line of vision sent the Swan girl stumbling back instead.

Jasper appeared by the doorway, a considerable distance from where Shadow had last seen him. Everything in her seemed to hollow out. Her stomach dropped. She caught herself against the wall as her knees gave out.

"Shadow," Jasper said, reaching out as if to help her.

Immediately, she held out her glass with threat. "Don't. Don't you dare touch me." Shadow tried for a warning tone, but the words came out too shaky to hold force.

Nonetheless, Shadow kept her fingers wound tightly around her weapon of choice.

Jasper moved once more and something inside her snapped. Shadow's fear was so overwhelming. She was so scared. Her mind spun as panic set in, and suddenly everything seemed to fall away into a pit.

She had enough proof to believe that the Cullens were different, that the world she knew was so much more.

But, Shadow couldn't. She was too afraid of the world she knew changing, and afraid of waking up with the knowledge that things that went bump in the night did exist. Shadow couldn't handle this, she knew what was coming.

Shadow's mind went blank, and all she could think was to run.

Her feet moved and the glass was falling from her fingers. Shadow could already feel the terror seeping in; the roots of what she was writhing in her throat. But, before she could dodge past Jasper, he reached out to grab her.

His cold arms wrapped around her body, as if to be comforting. But, whatever he had done to calm her down before, it couldn't touch her now.

"Wait!"

Carlisle was too late to warn them. Shadow fell and the dread washed over her like a wave. She turned towards the floor. The memory of a child with blood seeping out of his ears flashed in her mind.

The scream released and the glass she'd dropped shattered before it could touch the floorboards. Shadow closed her eyes. She felt Jasper collapse beside her, but she couldn't look at him.

  All Shadow could focus on were the tears burning on her cheeks and the terror in her chest.

Then, a hand touched hers and whatever had went wrong seemed to snap back into place. Shadow felt the scream stop. Calm enveloped her body and she clutched tightly onto Jasper's hand, afraid to let go as her shoulders sunk.

The room was silent. Wearily, she lifted her head. She could see where everyone had fallen, because they were still struggling to recover.

Shadow sucked in a sharp breath of air and horror replaced calm. God, what had she done? Her eyes snapped to Jasper and what she saw terrified her, but only because she had been the one who'd done it.

Cracks— small fractures— as if his face were made of actual stone, lined Jasper's face. His expression still took the form of a grimace and it was obvious that he was in pain. The sight left her gaping.

Her eyes darted around the room, coming to find that everyone had suffered just the same.

Shadow's bottom lip shook. "I'm sorry," she stuttered out, voice barely audible in the all-too-silent house. Fear made her heart pound painfully inside her chest and, before she knew it, Shadow was fleeing the room.

It didn't take long for her to realize that she had nowhere else to go.

Shadow fell on the grass, still damp from the rain that had fallen that morning. She struggled to breath and knew she had to calm herself before panic turned into a full-blown anxiety attack.

Or something far worse.

She pushed all thoughts from her mind as she doubled over, hands digging through the dirt, desperate to hold onto something solid. She concentrated on her breathing; inhale, hold. One, two, three. Exhale.

Shadow clawed at her chest, but repeated the steps, putting them on replay until her heartbeat calmed down. Her body was still shaking and exhaustion was quick to set in like a sedative.

"Shadow?" The voice that spoke behind her was gentle and soft.

Shadow tensed, glancing over her shoulder to find Esme watching with concern. The look in her eyes was so caring and worried that Shadow couldn't help but be reminded of her mother.

Her heart hurt. Tears stung her eyes and, with no strength left to hold them back, Shadow broke down into sobs.

Esme was by her side in a second, embracing the Swan girl gently. The gesture was comforting, but with the reminder of the mother she'd lost, Shadow could only feel longing. She held tightly to Esme, her heart aching with grief and all the frustration she'd been trying so hard to hold back.

Esme stroked her hair gently, whispering soothing words into Shadow's ear until the ginger's sobs had quieted to no more than a small sniffle. Shadow felt Esme pull back from the embrace and she lifted her head, meeting the woman's kind gaze through watery eyes.

"I think it's time to take you home," Esme told her softly. She rose to a stand, helping the Swan girl up with her.

Shadow's knees felt weak as she stood up, and Esme allowed her to lean against her for support. They walked over to the Volvo, where Shadow collapsed into the passenger seat of the car.

During the ride, Shadow couldn't help but feel guilt weigh heavily on her heart. She felt horrible for what she'd done, but with no idea as to how she could make up for it or apologize, the Swan girl said nothing.

There was simply nothing left to say. There were no thoughts. Beyond guilt and exhaustion, Shadow Swan felt a vast emptiness inside her.

When they arrived, Shadow said a soft goodbye before exiting the car. Her movements were sluggish as she made her way into the house, walking slowly up the stairs. When she made it to her bed, she collapsed.

In what seemed like seconds, all the events of the day seemed forgotten and Shadow found herself falling asleep.

Edited 02/10/2016 @6:44 PM
Edited 09/18/2016 @4:48 AM
Edited 08/26/2017 @9:30 PM
Edited 12/30/2017 @11:33 PM

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I TOTALLY FELT LIKE CRYING AT THAT ESME & SHADOW SCENE, WHY DO I CAUSE SO MUCH PAIN FOR MYSELF ???