CHAPTER 66- Spirit: Different Feelings
Me and Storm had slept side by side last night. The thought kept returning to my head, but still I couldn't put my paw on how I should feel about it. Obviously not exited or ecstatic, but if not that, what else? Sometimes when it returned to my mind, I felt warm and content. Other times I just felt embarrassed or numb, like the whole thing had meant nothing.
I gazed over at Hannah and Blaze, talking quietly together with their heads close, lost in conversation. After having at glance at Aspen and Midnight doing the same, some weird feeling stirred in my belly. It seemed like all the tom's and she-cats were mooning over one another, except for me and Storm, and Fallan and Diamond who were of course too young or immature to do such a thing.
What must it be like, to be that close to another cat? I tried to pry the thought into my mind that me and Midnight and my sisters were that close- just not in the same way.
It didn't work. I still knew that even the prospect of a connection like that was missing.
Not that I wanted a connection like that with any of the she-cats... What was I saying? I didn't want a connection like that with anyone! Mooning over some cat like they were the world's best prey, being treated fragile and having a pelt to curl up next to whenever you wanted.
It's rubbish, I thought dejectedly and focused on the ground in front of me instead. At least me and Storm weren't like that- Midnight had expected me to jump into the embrace of another cat at the whisk of a dream's tail, which was pretty accurate.
"It's so nice outside!" Storm said dreamily, jerking me from my thoughts. He'd been walking in my paw-steps for some time now and had finally came up beside me. Thinking about such things only made my ears feel more hot.
I shook out my fur and knew that I should've been thinking about more important matters in the first place- like the fact that a death-path was going to be right in our way on our journey to Cheetah Pride.
Had I ever even crossed one before? I couldn't remember. It must not have been any ones that were hard, black stone trails that smelled of smoke. I'd seen those from a distance and moved over the skinnier, quieter stony-rocked paths but not the ones that were as dangerous.
Despite my thoughts I couldn't help but feel optimistic- it was nice today. A butterfly drifted past every now and then and Diamond enjoyed the sun by rolling around on the grass until one of us called her to keep up. She practiced hunting by using grass stalks and didn't get tangled under any cat's paws.
The warmth of the day seemed to have brought everyone into a sort of dream state... Especially Fallan, who pranced about if she were a deer and played with the tall grasses like a kit. Soon her and Diamond were jumping around like frogs.
Flowers dotted the grass under-paw, in bloom now that the Great Paw was at it's highest peak and had been warming the earth. Soon, though, I knew our paws would be touching rough dry dirt and the pointy stalks shooting in rows from the ground. Either way I remembered how hard the Cold-Paws had been up on the mountains, and relished that the hardships were nearly over.
My eyes landed on Blaze and Hannah again, bubbling with laughter and twining their tails as Diamond demonstrated one of her unique side-flips. Fallan watched from close by, her amber eyes glimmering in the heat. The kitten meowed happily up to them, clearly pleased to have so much attention on her.
I heard Storm move his head back and forth and shuffled a mouse-length away to give him space. He must have realized I was watching my sisters and Hannah's mate and foster-kit. Instead of empty air I felt the whisk of a tail touch my flank, light as a brush of the softest kit-fur.
Watching the tom confusingly, I almost looked away in astonishment as the cat nipped off something small and white from the ground. My heart seemed to plummet as he swiveled around.
There's no way that can be for me. But why pluck a flower and-
My thoughts were cut off as Storm came to a stop in front of me, cutting off anymore prospects of avoiding something so...
Small?
What could I say? My cheeks burned but nothing came to mind at why I should think this was bad, or very bad.
What was I possibly supposed to think, though?
Drawing a blank while I stared, Storm smiled and leaned forward willingly so that his nose was the length of a pebble from mine.
Teeth clenching the flower lightly, I let my muzzle brush his as my heart pulsed in my ears and my paws curled in embarrassment.
Bewildered that I had just took the flower, I wondered what to do with it now. It had been a nice gesture, but...
I knew I couldn't have just denied; that was rude and no cat had ever considered doing such a thing. Storm hadn't don't anything wrong- at least I couldn't see any reason for it to be wrong. What did it mean, though? The thought seared through my head like a forest-fire until I finally mumbled awkwardly around the flower.
"What was that for?" His dark green eyes flicked to mine as he paused, then back to the ground. Suddenly my fur was tingling- he was so close that I could feel his flank lightly brushing mine.
"I don't know," he said with a splutter of laughter at the end. I almost joined in but forced myself to be quiet, staring at my paws in concentration.
He's just as new, uneasy and awkward to this as I am. It didn't mean we were mates or anything- I just meant that Storm had probably never been fond of a female cat before. And... Where did that leave me?
Am I fond of him? Eventually I had to tell myself yes, I guess I am.
Not in a way that meant something as strong as Blaze and Hannah, though. Definitely not. More like a way to where... We could be allowed to express what we wanted.
No matter how nervous it seemed.
"Those corn stalks- I've seen them before. They mean signs of humans," Storm said.
"The way they're arranged in rows and all organized- humans do that. I don't know why but I know it's like usually some kind of border to human lands."
"So you think there will be human-places not far after the death-trap path?"
"Probably- or even more paths just like it after that."
The wind picked up, pulling at my whiskers. I felt my fur being tugged back by it and pulled forward into a quicker pace.
Storm and I looked up, seeing just the very edge of a dark line of clouds forming along the bright blue Sky-cat flank. It was coming directly from the direction we were headed.
Nervousness stirred in my belly. If the Howler and Sky-cat were going to start a storm tonight should we try and make it to the path as quick as possible or stop before it?
"I'll bet it starts smelling like rain here soon."
Storm was proven to be right as I clutched the small white flower in my teeth, knowing if I let it go the wind would sweep it far away. However, I couldn't help wondering- was I supposed to hold onto it forever?
"Spirit! We should hurry to the path and get across it before a storm starts." That was Midnight now, her ears blown inside out from the strong winds. Upon opening my mouth to reply the flower was ripped from my jaws and swept away in the air.
"Sorry," I muttered to Storm and moved forward to speak more easily.
"We're waiting until dark or near-dark to cross so there is a better chance of crossing safely," I told her and rose my tone so that every other cat could hear. I had seen the line of death-traps up on the hill, at the edge of the forest- there was almost no complete gaps in-between, and the rows of them had looked like tiny beetles running across the path in both directions.
Immediately protests rose up from Hannah and Fallan but I silenced them with a lash of my tail and let my eyes drop to the terrain below. Midnight had kept her mouth closed, and I imagined she was watching me intently now.
We were almost among the tall, hard grass stalks now which meant that soon we would be upon the path. It was about an hour or two until dark now but the Great Paw was hidden behind the clouds and the ground under-paw already held shadows.
When we reached them, Fallan and Diamond complained about the toughness of the ground. I didn't blame them. It was rough and crumbly, like the texture of pebbly rocks except in dirt form. The rain came soon after and I swished my tail as my eyes rose to the Skycat's darkening pelt.
There was a mass of dark clouds along her flank, ascending quickly. I wondered if it was in fact more dangerous to cross a death-path when a storm was crossing, just as rain began to whip in my face. What a great combination with the wind and oncoming danger.
The corn grass stalks were sharp and sometimes stung my face as we pushed through them. The dried dirt began to turn to mud and cling to everyone's legs, slowing the process. I was thankful that the weather was darkening the way but that meant that by the time we made it to the path there would be no light from the Great Spot to help us cross, because it would be hidden by the mass of cloudss. The thought was foreboding- I couldn't decide whether it was a good idea to cross now, or tomorrow.
"What do you think, Midnight?" I ask her now. The black cat shuffles her paws quickly through the yellow stems, twitching water from her ears and raising her voice above the noise.
"We should still cross tonight. That would be better than waiting until tomorrow, when the death-path will be too crowded to cross. Don't want to wait another day without moving our paws, do we?"
I knew what she was talking about immediately. The wolves, and their appearance after we had kept our paws rooted beside a river and traveled that day only to find a place to sleep. Our recklessness could of been what had let the wolves catch up to us, and I couldn't let it happen again.
My fur rose a bit as the mud squelched between my claws and clung to my fur. As soon as the rain washed it away, more mud clung from frequent paw-steps striking through it. Storm's heavy steps were kicking up clumps of it as I let him lead the group between the corn stalks.
Now I was thinking about what the death-traps must look like up close. From a distance, they had always traveled about as fast as a cheetah and this put my nerves on end. Would this be our most difficult challenge yet, or was crossing a path that brought with it death a small obstacle to Cheetah Pride's journey? Whatever it was, we had faced many harsh terrains before and I figured we could pull through it as long as there was precautions.
I shook out my fur and stole a glance a Storm, then Midnight, and the rest of the pride. Whatever was coming, I knew it wasn't going to get easier until it got harder. Midnight's ears kept turning inside out because we were facing the wind and she narrowed her eyes as if she was annoyed, then stepped closer to Aspen who rested his tail on her back.
A bit self-concussions, I moved closer to Storm and he regarded me with a warm stare. Just when I thought he was going to never stop staring, he looked at the cats back behind us and rested his tail on my flank in a gentler way, to where it was only touching my shoulder lightly. I'd never realized before, but his tail was almost as long as mine and fluffy.
Whatever was coming wouldn't be impossible to face as long as these cats were by my side. I was sure of that.
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