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CHAPTER 63- Spirit: Tough Decisions

Me and Hannah padded off into the woods together, silent. She had her head lowered and winced with every step, telling me that the wounds had not stopped stinging yet. Which, if I knew anything about wounds I knew that they wouldn't for a few days yet.

"They will take a few days to heal," I meowed and let my eyes drop to the cheetah's foreleg that was still lightly bleeding. I swished my tail uncertainly and stopped, turning around to face the cheetah.

"Let me stop the bleeding," I begged, concerned as she sat down and began grooming her thin fur delicately. Small paws and ears, Hannah's yellow pelt looked dark but dainty under the shadows.

Pushing my paws onto the wound, I sat respectfully and waited for the cheetah to say something. Oddly enough I felt no humor in seeing her at such a state- after all, she would've been safe if she had posted a guard like I did every night or simply stayed with us.

Relief was the only thing that had washed my paws after we'd driven the pair of foxes away. Now it was hard just to bring my gaze upon my sister- the one who I hadn't had a proper conversation with since the end of Warm-Paws. Now it was the beginning all over again and my pads began to sweat with a certain embarrassment.

All night I hadn't been able to sleep- hearing owls hooting in the night and one of the foxes barking in the distance. My fur stood on end every time until the moment when a sort of rush had come to my paws- a sign that someone was in fact in danger.

Immediately after Midnight had come up with the idea to go check on the cats we'd come across the fox trail again and then Hannah and Blaze's, tingled with a sour scent on Fallan that told me she had been fearful and sad since being away.

"Fallan and Diamond are not happy," Hannah murmured as I felt the flow of blood begin to seep away underneath my pads. She sounded sad and to this I lowered my head in defeat- no use in pretending anymore.

"I don't think I really was either," the cheetah said in barely a whisper. I fought the urge to press my muzzle into her fur like a reassuring mother to a scared kit and wiped my paws off in the pine needles instead.

Wondering wherever I could start, I looked away from Hannah without knowing what to say.

Well, what would you say to fix so many days of tension and silence? It was hard to think of where to begin.

I sighed and brought my gaze up to look at the green-eyed cheetah again. Her face was sullen and she dragged her healthier paw along the stiff grass.

"I'm sorry, Hannah. For everything. I don't try to put you and Diamond or anyone in danger- I'm just trying to outrun it..."

I turned away with a sigh, not expecting her to understand. Of course the words must have counted for something- but how far was it going to get me in repairing this broken relationship?

The pretty cheetah's next words brought a wave of astonishment washing over my pelt, careful and calculated as if she were making sure she said the right thing.

"I'm sorry too," the cheetah said, much to my surprise. Her voice was stronger now, bringing on hope and strength that I hadn't felt all Cold-Paws.

"I just couldn't bear to think about Diamond dying in those mountains. Truthfully sometimes you push us too hard but I know it's only because you're trying to keep us safe."

Blinking, I studied my long lost sister; mentally speaking, of course. Never had I imagined she would've come out and said that... Maybe it was time for me to force out of my defensive shell now too.

Stepping forward, I gazed at Hannah uncertainly as her breath washed my muzzle.

"I can change my ways," I began to say forcefully. My voice was rocky and unsteady and caused my fur to rise uneasily.

"It will mean closer proximity to the wolves if they are still chasing us, but... "

My sentence faded out. Embarrassment stabbed through me as I fought to find the right words. How could I make it better? Desperate, I almost pleaded to the Sky-cat for a sign.

Hannah blinked, either oblivious to my nervous stance or just plaintively ignoring it.

"I'm not asking to stop traveling or spend half the day resting... Just let us hunt more and slow down the pace a bit so all of us can get healthy again. The training is also a break from all of it," she added at the end as if it were difficult to say.

I sat down again, in front of her, and gazed at all of the cuts along the pretty cheetah's body. Before Hannah had always looked delicate- now she looked as bruised as a field mouse caught underneath an owl's claws.

"I can do that," I said with difficulty. This decisions were hard to make but I had to do something to make my sisters and Diamond stay.

"It just isn't right without you and Fallan in the pride," I began- to make sure that Hannah wanted to come back and bring Diamond and Fallan with her. After all, without them what was the point of having the success of making it to cheetah pride?

It's been our goal since the wolves brought us together that day and killed my mother. We can't separate now.

"And we will come back- upon one more condition..."

I flattened my ears and looked away until Hannah's stare forced me to return it. Her eyes were shimmering with amusement by the time I'd looked back so I let myself relax again.

"You don't have to be nice to Blaze; but just regard him as if you do Storm now. With respect," to cheetah meowed with a flick of her tail. I stiffened and then stretched out my aching toes for a long stretch, contemplating that.

"Yeah, I suppose I can do that too," I said with a sarcastic roll of my eyes. Hannah's better mood had cheered me up instantly- all throughout her absence I'd been in a state of denial.

They can't really be gone for good... Can they? I'd asked myself multiple times over. Midnight had done her best to comfort but no right words came when the two cats you'd known since kit-hood had just walked out of your life willingly.

"Please don't ever leave again," I murmured shyly. How would she take seeing such a vulnerable side of me? I knew that Hannah and Fallan had only ever glimpsed a fierce and defensive cheetah full of fighting spirit. That was why I hadn't been pulled under yet by the claws of struggle that had dared to drown me each day.

Without them, it'd felt like that might finally happen.

After the shock would have worn off, of course.

Hannah nudged me with her muzzle uncertainly. I didn't say anything until she spoke, clearly new all over again to being comfortable and friendly towards me.

I didn't blame her. This was an awkward experience for me, too.

"I won't," she promised, daring to add a small purr to that. Purring with my sister, I stood up to head back towards the other cats but stopped dead in my tracks.

"So we can be sisters again? Like, act like sisters," I murmured shyly at the end.

Hannah's response was a wave of relief to my heart all over again and she bounded forward on light paws to brush her pelt against mine. "Of course. Me, you and Fallan."

I winced at the mention of my blood-related kin, feeling shame drench my fur as I thought of how my sister had been treated since the rift between me and Hannah had grown stronger.

"She never displaced you like I did," Hannah added reassuringly, her bright green eyes fending off the shadows of night. Only then did I realize how late it was and how tired I really felt, paws wanting to drag themselves along the ground.

"In fact, Fallan has been yearning for us all to come together for a long time now. But ever since I scolded her for eating Diamond's prey it seems she lost hope..."

As we passed underneath the even darker shadows of the pine trees I remembered that morning on the mountain when Hannah had woken to find Blaze's catch gone, saved all night for Diamond to enjoy the next day. Hannah had retaliated immediately and hissed at Fallan, demanding she go catch something else for Diamond to replace the stolen prey.

My sister had come back with frozen paws and whiskers without prey in her jaws. Hannah had been silently steaming the rest of the day and not spoken to Fallan for almost a week. I was glad that finally all of us might be able to move forward.

"Well Fallan doesn't have to worry about anything like that anymore... We both know she's always been greedy with prey but I'll start hunting a minimum of twice a day," I promised Hannah as we approached the rest of the Pride and fell silent.

Midnight stared at me calmly and I gave her a single nod of my head. Relief seemed to swamp her gaze as she huddled closer to Aspen, clearly trying to avoid the chilly breeze swirling through the pines.

Fallan looked sad but hopeful at the same time and stared at her paws until we came nearer, obviously not planning to say anything. Storm and Blaze both eyed us warily, as if they both feared what I might say for different reasons.

Diamond stared at us with a strong hope in her eyes, and if she'd had any traces of fear about the foxes I knew they were all long gone. Clearly the kitten was hoping just as much as Fallan that the Pride would be re-joined. My heart warmed at the shine in her light blue eyes as I reminded myself to start paying more attention to the special diamond-cat.

It seemed all the cats were holding their breaths, staring at their paws or swishing their tails impatiently.

"Me and Hannah have decided it's best for the Pride to stay together," I said strongly.

"All of it." Hannah finished strongly, flattening an ear as if afraid of some cat's response. I was throwing a questioning glance her way just as Blaze moved forward to speak up.

I had to force my hackles to stay smooth as the cat stared down Hannah, an almost pleading look in his eyes. There was something else there, too- it looked like a shielded gaze of anger as well but I couldn't be sure.

"But Hannah- we had a future planned," he begged while letting his voice drop to a quiet mew. I flattened my ears uncertainly and wondered what the two cats had been discussing while away- had Blaze been the whole point to this rash decision yesterday morning?

"We can still have that," Hannah said. She looked devastated as she stared into Blaze's amber eyes, smoldering with betrayal, anger, confusion and hurt. I almost had to look away at the amount of expressions on the cats face- but almost as soon as I did he replaced it with a gaze of calm acceptance. If I knew anything about Blaze it was that he was good at hiding emotions, just like Storm seemed to be.

"Right... Okay. That's fine," he whispered as if he didn't want the other cats to hear and immediately avoided every cat's gaze. I could see Storm staring at me from the corner of my eye.

"As long as your happy," the cheetah said, seeming to finally accept the fact that things were changing back to normal.

I turned away to let them talk and walked up to Fallan, knowing what I had to do now.

As I neared I nudged my sister playfully with my muzzle and sat close beside her, watching the others just as she had been doing. Her soft amber gaze turned towards me, uncertain and almost afraid.

"I'm sorry about how things have been going lately," I began, feeling just as uncertain as she was on how to put things right again.

"But me, you and Hannah can go back to normal now. It's not going to be like it has been anymore- I'm going to make sure of it. Ignoring you and having tensions with Hannah was wrong. I'm sorry... " I apologized, not knowing what else I could say to make it better.

Being so unkindly to Fallan had mostly passed me by throughout all of Cold-paws, what with so many worries nipping at my paws. Now I felt sure that with time she would return to her goofy, cheerful, complaining self that I'd always been fond of but never realized.

That didn't seem to be a problem, though, as Fallan's awkward stare ended- she leaped on me with a happy yowl and bowled me over, buffeting me excitedly with her paws. My fur fluffed out involuntarily as the uncoordinated cheetah stepped on my chest and squeezed the breath out of it.

Wheezing, I pushed her off gently and sat up. Fallan's eyes were shining happily now, nothing like the dull shadow of hurt I'd been seeing for so long.

"Easy, now. I'm not as young as I used to be." I joked, knowing very well that I was only on my second year and not very far along at that.

Fallan laughed and bounded forward to play with Diamond, waving her tail as if yearning for someone else to join her. I knew it was late but no cat seemed the least bit tired now so I hurried forward to bat a pinecone past Diamond's muzzle cheerily. Midnight joined shortly as Blaze and Hannah talked together quietly a few tail-lengths away.

"Everything okay?" She murmured quietly into my ear, grasping the play-toy in her claws as Diamond bounded forward to try and steal it.

"Couldn't be better," I replied and found I actually meant it. Eventually Storm was joining in the game and brushed his fur against mine as he swerved around my pelt to avoid being showered by a spray of snow from Fallan.

"Hey!" I joked, jumping out of the way and shaking our my fur as Fallan kicked her back legs through the small pile, aiming to cover us all in the powdery whiteness.

"Don't use me as a shield," I said mockingly as I cowered behind the tom so that he could suffer the worst of the damage this time. The pale scar along the length of his pelt was much more visible than the rest of him, reminding me of where he'd gotten it from.

Suddenly weary and not wanting to play so much, I stood up and shook out my fur to move to an area of much drier grass where the snow had already melted away. Seeing as I wasn't joining in anymore, Midnight stopped abruptly and came to sit beside me while Storm was a bit slower coming up.

Eventually I was surrounded by the cats I cared about- oddly enough, all of them meant something to me. Even Blaze, simply because I knew how much he meant to Hannah now. They all sat quietly until Diamond yawned, her little pink tongue curling up underneath the kitten's sharp white teeth.

"We should go back to the thicker part of the forest where we have proper nests. We can all share them until morning when Spirit wants us to set off again," Midnight said suddenly. I turned towards as many of the Pride as I could, standing up to speak to them all.

"No... Tomorrow we're going to wake up, hunt and then train. The rules will be bent a little from now on because with full bellies and sharper skills we can travel faster and be prepared if the wolves catch up."

"Can I hunt?" Diamond asked eagerly, snapped out of her game by the chat. I gazed questioningly at Hannah but she looked as uncertain as ever as she looked over the tiny kit, barely bigger than both of my paws put together.

"She's too young." Hannah's mew was barely a whisper so I titled my head to the side, knowing her strong sense to protect the kit from all possible dangers of the outside world. But Diamond was fearless, and would one day soon want to learn how to do things on her own.

"Not actually hunt- just train with someone so that she can start to use her skills when she's a bit bigger." I said to reassure her.

Diamond still looked pleased at the thought of this, her gaze pleading as she looked up at her symbolic mother-cat.

Hannah stared silently, looking from me to Blaze and back to Diamond. Her gaze rested on the calico kitten for a long while as the wind whistled through the trees, lifting every cat's fur on their backs.

"In a few day's time she can start to learn stalking and pouncing techniques- but that's it," Hannah ended firmly. I shrugged and figured that was at least something for the kitten.

"Watch what I can do!" Diamond meowed loudly at once, running forward and into the path of everyone's eyes. She faced us all eagerly and puffed out her chest proudly as if just catching the biggest elk in the forest.

Without speaking we all stared as the lithe kitten did a somersault, flicking her back legs out strongly. I heard Aspen's mouth drop open and Storm gasp as if he simply didn't believe a cat if this size could stick such a landing.

"I fell on my nose earlier," she admitted shyly as we all gazed in astonishment. It was only a second before every cat recovered themselves, Hannah breaking into a purr, Storm laughing and Midnight congratulating the young cat.

"Keep that up and I might teach you to jump like me one day," Midnight said fondly as she peered down at the kit. Diamond looked up as if mesmerized by her purple eyes- just as I had been the first time I'd seen them and then a few more after that.

Hannah huffed suddenly and Midnight turned, clearly embarrassed.

"Er, that is- only if your mother agrees." Hannah rolled her eyes a smiled, proving that she had not been hostile. I almost laughed aloud but instead beckoned everyone to begin following.

Midnight fell in step beside me, Aspen on her other side while Storm flanked my own and Hannah moved just in front of me- carrying Diamond by the scruff. I could hear Fallan plodding heavily behind, clearly bouncing along with her restored good mood while Blaze stuck close by.

This was how it should be, I thought. All of us with our different talents that came together perfectly- that fit together just as they should.

Fallan as the complaining goofball that got on every-cat's nerves now and then- Hannah the caretaker of a beautifully patterned Diamond kit who was afraid of nothing, fearless as the Sky-cat herself.

Blaze was oddly enough great at climbing trees and brave, leveling out Hannah's caring nature by caring about her all on his own.

Aspen, always smiling; a bit quiet but always determined to prove that where you came from didn't determine who you were. Plus he had a great nose and a knack for learning things quickly. I hoped that one day Midnight and the young tom might become mates- if they weren't already, that was... I would have to ask my best friend when I got the chance.

Yes, Midnight was silent and knowing so much that it seemed she could sometimes read thoughts. I knew this wasn't true and that the black cat with the small paws and muzzle was simply very observant.

Loyal and strong-willed to the end, she'd helped me make it through all of Cold-paws and had carried with her her amazing leaping ability which Storm seemed to be challenging with his powerfully thick hind legs. Silent as night, the purple-eyed human cat could slip through any area almost certain to stay unnoticed.

And Storm... Well, Storm was a good friend. Loyal throughout the whole time when he'd had no one loyal to him. Powerful and helpful in more than one way, and so determined.

Overall, he was just a great cat and I found myself stealing a glance at the tom as I walked through the whispering trees.

He returned it warmly the whole way back, not even invading my personal space- just staring as if he knew too that we were supposed to have some sort of future together.














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