Seph

I'm back in Kian's truck an hour later.

  He got off work an hour early, after he finished cleaning. Usually time in general moves at a snail's pace in my world, and tonight flew by. It didn't feel like I was sitting there for hours. And somehow, I had no desire to throw up those mozzarella sticks. They were so good. Warm and soft and perfect with the tomato sauce. I enjoyed them, rather than tolerated them.

  And now I'm back in his truck, sitting right beside him. There's some music playing on the radio and his hand is resting on my leg, as if we somehow skipped right to this. I mean, I did kiss him in the alley behind the bar, before he went back to work. It was sweet kiss. I bite my bottom lip and press down hard to make sure I'm not dreaming right now.

  He's been driving for awhile. He didn't ask if I want to go home. And I know he's not taking me back to wherever it is he's staying. But for now, I like that we can pretend we're a normal couple. Or that I'm normal, at all.

  "So, was your mom mad or upset or what?" he asks, out of no where.

  I don't want to think about my mom. She spent an hour texting, asking where I was. Telling me I better not be with that boy. Threatening to tell my father.

  "She was just worried," I say, though it's a lie.

  "You wanna go home, then?" he asks, but I can see by the look on his face he's hoping I don't want to.

  I shake my head. "I told her I'm staying at a friend's tonight. She knows I don't have friends, so..." I add a smile.

  "She knows you're with me?"

  I shrug again. "I'm assuming."

  Kian sighs. "So, Frank is your dad's friend, right?"

  I nod.  "They've been best friends my whole life."

  "So... your parents probably know this already... I was arrested, about a year ago. I got into this stupid fight and... my mom called the cops."

  I'm not shocked by what he's telling me, since my mom already told me that. But I'm shocked that his own mother called the cops on him. "Your mom?"

  "Yeah. So, I was in jail for a few days. Frank finally bailed me out."

  "Oh." My reaction isn't great. I know that.

  "I just had to tell you. My mom's got this boyfriend and he hates me, so I get kicked out a lot. This has been the longest, though. She's not even answering my calls."

 "Oh. Shit."

  "Yeah. So... I mean. I get why your parents don't like me," he goes on. "I'm not from a stable family. My dad left when my brother was born. I don't have a lot of money."

   "I don't care what they think," I tell him, and in the moment, I mean it.

  "Really?" he wants to know. He doesn't look like believes me.

   "I don't. Somehow, in one week, you've already helped me more than my parents have, in years," I say slowly.

  "Seph... I'm sure they are trying."

  I half laugh. "Don't defend them. I ate today. And I didn't feel gross about it. I don't feel gross now. You kissed me back... you make me feel like I can eat, and you'll still like me."

  I know that sounds crazy, but it's how I feel. My mom made me feel like if I wasn't thin, I wasn't acceptable. I hope Kian understands what I'm telling him. He glances at me but then back to the road. It's so dark out and we're on a road with very few street lights. I think he's headed back to long beach, but I can't really tell.

  "I would never think you're gross," he says and then I see his smile spread across his face. "And I like you, a lot."

  My face feels warm all of a sudden, like I'm just a little bit drunk. I'm not. I haven't had anything to drink in months. But it feels the same way. Warm. Happy. Good. How can this guy make me feel like this?

  "I like you too," I tell him. "Where are we going?"

 "You said you were staying with a friend?" he asks. I nod. "Well, you're staying with a friend, then."

  We pull up in front of a little blue house, twenty minutes later. It's close to 2A.M. and I've been yawning for awhile, but when we get out and go into the house, there are at least ten people all around the main floor, drinking, laughing, listening to music. It's a house party. I stay quiet but Kian keeps my hand in his as he walks through, to the kitchen.  When he stops, he waves someone over.

  "Fiona," he starts, then glances at me. "This is Seph. Is it cool if she stays here tonight?"

   "Dude, there will be a lot of people staying here tonight. If you can find somewhere to sleep, have at it," she answers right away. "Nice to meet ya," she says to me, after looking me up and down.

  I smile. "Thanks. You too."

  Kian grabs two beers from the fridge and leads me through the house and down a set of stairs. It's kind of creepy down here, and it's not finished, but once he flicks the lights on, it's not so bad. There's a pile of blankets and a pillow and some random stuff in storage, off to the side.

  "I sleep down here sometimes," he says, then points to the spot where there's some blankets and a pillow. "The girls who live here have a lot of parties, so I come down here to get away from it all."

  "It's... quiet," I say, which is true. I don't know what else to say about it.

  Kian laughs. "I know, it's a creepy basement. But it's better than up there, I promise."

  "So, you're not a big partier?" I ask, then sit down beside him on the floor.

   He shrugs. "I used to be. But in the last month I've realized I need to grow up."

   "You're only twenty one," I say plainly, but smile at him afterwards.

   "Well, my brother is eleven. He's a kid. And he needs me," he says under his breath.

  I nod, but Kian doesn't even notice. He's thinking about something else now. I want to bring him back to me, to remind him I'm here and we're together, tonight.

   "Hey. It's been like three hours," I say, quietly.

  We're sitting side by side, but not really touching. Something about being here with him feels so right. He looks over, confused.

   "It's been three hours since I ate and I... I'm okay. You've kept me distracted. And you made me feel like eating was a good thing, not a burden."

  Kian tries to smile, but he's still thinking about his brother, I can tell. "I'm really happy for you."

   "You don't seem happy," I tell him, then reach over and touch his leg.

  A spark shoots through both of us and his eyes go wide. "I'm sorry. I'm feeling sorry for myself and I shouldn't be."

  "You distracted me from my shit tonight... how about I distract you now?" I suggest and his eyes looks confused for a second.

  "How?" he wants to know, and his eyes are dark with wonder and desire.

  I don't answer with words, but I lean closer and nuzzle my face into his neck. He smells like the bar we were at for a long time but I don't even care. He grunts and it makes me want to forget about everything else in the world. I kiss his neck and his hands immediately grip my sides and pulls me in closer to him.

  Kian moves his head a bit so I'm looking into his eyes and he smiles, barely. "I'm glad you're here, Seph."

  "Me too," I tell him.

  I mean it. And then I kiss him. It's wild and passionate and full of promise. His mouth opens mine and his tongue slides in, immediately crashing into my own tongue. I close my eyes and fling a leg over his lap so I'm straddling him and I keep kissing him like my life depends on it. Maybe, tonight, it does.

  After a few minutes, our kisses slow down to a lazy speed. We're both tired. I'm actually exhausted. Kian slides me off his lap after kissing me once more and then he looks at me with mostly closed eyes.

  "You're tired," he says to me.

  I nod and then yawn, as if on cue.

  "Here." He reaches for the pillow and passes it to me. "Lay down."

  For whatever reason, it doesn't feel awkward. I take the pillow and drop it beside me and then look up at him with a small smile. I don't know what to say to him, but today has been new and different and good.  I needed good.

  I let my body drop to the floor and my head rests on the pillow.

  Kian leans down right away and kisses the side of my head.

  "G'night, Seph."

  "Goodnight," I repeat, and I'm basically asleep a moment later.