Kian

There was some traffic, but I pull up in front of that mansion forty-five minutes later. I've been here five times now, in the last week. I just need to see Seph. I need to see that she's okay.

  I'm here, I text her, after I turn off the truck.

 There aren't any cars in the long driveway. The front of the house looks the same as it did when I saw it for the first time, at her party. My reaction to seeing it is different now, though. Then, I assumed some mega-rich family with spoiled brat children lived here. Now, I know her. I know her better than I should, I think.

  She slips out the front door with a big black purse over her shoulder, a few minutes later. She's wearing sweat pants and a grey, long-sleeved shirt. Her hair is down and it's wavy. It's almost 5P.M. I don't know how the rest of the day is going to go, but I'm glad to see that Seph is okay, at least physically.

  She's quiet as I start the truck again and start driving away from her house. I don't know what to say. I don't know what we're even doing. I just know she feels safe with me and that's what matters right now.

  "I had breakfast with my housekeeper. I mean, she's my friend. She's fifty-two and she's my only friend," she begins. I know she's going to continue, so I wait. "She made me eggs and we ate together. Then she asked if I wanted to go sit outside with her. I knew she was trying to keep an eye on me. She knows me. She knows I'm sick."

  The way she says sick makes it obvious it's embarrassing for her to talk about this.

 "So what did you do?" I ask, even though I don't want the answer.

 She looks away, out the side window. She doesn't even answer me for a few long minutes. I am not even sure she's going to answer at all. She doesn't owe me that answer.

 "I got mad. Defensive. And I went upstairs and..." She sucks in a quick breath. "I hate this."

  She doesn't have to finish the sentence. She doesn't have to say that she made herself sick. I know she did. I feel like there's nothing I can do or say to make this any better for her. I don't like feeling so helpless when it comes to her. That's why I agreed to come and get her. I can do that.

 "Thanks for coming to get me," she goes on, and I can tell she's grateful that I'm not trying to tell her it'll be okay.

  I don't make a habit of being optimistic, anyway. Maybe it won't be okay. I've always been a realist. I don't hope for the best. I just hope for tomorrow. And tonight, I could pick her up and I could help her, even just a little bit.

   "I have to work in a couple hours. In Santa Monica," I tell her, still looking straight ahead.

  I merge back onto the highway and start the half hour drive back. I'm glad she's here, beside me in my truck. It's the third time she's been here and it feels right. It feels good. It's a rainy afternoon now and I already know that the bar is going to be busy tonight. Rain is coming down lightly on my windshield.

 "Oh." Seph sounds confused when she finally answers.

  "You're coming with me," I tell her. It's not a question.

 "What?"

  "I work at the bar from eight to two. You can come and hang out in a booth and I'll bring you home after," I explain. I don't know when exactly I decided this, and I just hope she agrees to this plan.

  She's thinking this over for the next few moments. I'm ready for her to argue. Maybe she has no desire to do what I'm suggesting. Maybe she's about to tell me to bring her home right now.

  "I'm not even old enough to get into a bar," she says finally.

  I hadn't thought of that, but it's not a problem. I'm doing my boss a favor by working tonight. No one is going to question Seph being there. I'll buy her food and I'll keep an eye on her. Hell, she can even go into the back room and sleep, if she wants. I started working at the bar a bit after I got into that fight, a year ago. There's only my boss and two or three other employees. It's Friday night, but it's not like a popular night club. It's just a sketchy bar.

 "It'll be fine," I tell her, then glance over.

  She nods, which makes my stomach tumble. She's agreeing. She wants to go with me. Tonight, beside me in my truck, she seems so young and innocent. She seems so different from the night we met.

  She's quiet for the next ten minutes. I look at her a few times but she seems a bit out of it. I've only known for her a week. That moment I saw her come out onto the balcony, my world changed. She's nothing like any other girl I've ever known.

  And tonight, she needs me.

  I hope she'll need me tomorrow, too.

  The bar isn't busy when I lead Seph through the back door, a bit before 8P.M. I parked my truck in the back parking lot and we sat there for a moment before going inside. I don't know what she's thinking but she seems to trust me. I see Albert in the break room, and then I get a glimpse of Jeff, my boss, rushing up to the front of the bar.

 "Yo, Kian. Didn't know you were working tonight," Albert says when he seems me.

 I peek into the break room, keeping Seph behind me. "Covering for James, again."

 Albert nods. "Who's your friend?"

 "My friend is with me tonight because she needed somewhere to go. I assume it's not a problem. She'll just hang out," I answer, making sure not to tell him her name.

  He nods and then goes back to looking at his phone. I lead Seph through the kitchen and then to the doors going to the main bar. We sneak through to the seating area. There's an empty booth not far from the bar, so I motion to her to climb in.

  "You're tucking me away in the dark?" she asks, totally serious.

  "I can see you from wherever I am, but you'll still be hidden from... creeps," I tell her.

  She smiles and slides into the booth anyway. I see her drop her gigantic purse onto the table and start looking inside. I tap the table with my fingers, thinking.

  "Let me know if you want anything, yeah? Water or soda? And I can make you some fries or..." I let my voice trail off.

   "Okay. Thanks," she says easily.

  "I'll come over and check on you when I can," I go on.

   "Okay, Kian." I nod. She smiles again. "Thank you."

  Work is hard tonight, knowing Seph is right there. I try to leave her be, mostly. It's busy at the bar and the music is loud and the booths and tables are full. I stay mostly behind the bar and also end up doing food runs. It's more than two hours into my shift before I get to check in on her.

  As I approach, she's focusing on her phone. Besides bringing her a glass of water, this is the first time I'm really seeing her in awhile. My stomach tumbles and my heart skips a beat or two.

 "Hey," I say, and she finishes typing something before she looks up at me.

  Her smile appears but it's not very big. She looks a bit concerned. I can only make out some of her features, in the dark.

  "Hi. How's it going?" she asks me.

  "Well, I was going to ask you that."

 "I'm fine," she says quickly, but then she seems to be frowning. She looks away and when she looks back, she shrugs. "My mom's been texting. That's all."

  "Oh. I'm guessing she's not a fan of me."

  Seph looks embarrassed right away, so I know I'm right. "She's just... I don't know, she thinks she can control me and who I am friends with."

 "Kian!" I hear Jeff calling me. "Order for table eight."

  "You go. I'm okay here," Seph says quietly.

  I nod. "I'll come back in a minute."

  I run behind the bar and grab the basket of fries and then quickly cross the bar and deliver them to table eight. There's two older woman there, smiling up at me.

  "Hello handsome," one says right away. She's got thick dark hair and glasses.

   "Good evening," I tell them both. "Need anything else?"

  "We'd like a bit more of your attention," the other one - who looks a bit younger - says and then they both laugh.

  This. This is the worst part of this job.

  "I'm busy, gals, but holler if you need anything," I say to them and the smile before turning to go back to the bar.

  Albert's there now, busy pouring drinks. I tuck my head into the window going to the back where the kitchen is, and call out to Dominic, the guy working back there tonight.

  "Can I get some mozzarella sticks please?"

   "I didn't see the order," he calls back.

  "I'll put it in now."

  As I'm punching in the order on the screen, Albert looks over my shoulder. "You taking a break?"

  "Uh, no, just getting food for-"

  "Your friend? What's the deal?" he asks with a lazy smile.

 "No deal. She just needed me tonight," I say, and finish the order.

  "You better make sure no drunks are bothering her," Albert laughs.

  "I know."

  Ten minutes later, I scoop up the basket of mozzarella sticks and go back over to where Seph's sitting in the booth. She's sipping the water and she looks bored. Her eyes light up when she sees me slip into the booth across from her.

 "No pressure. Honestly. I'm just hungry," I say right away, already popping one into my mouth.

  Seph watches me carefully. Her nose crinkles up and then she smiles. "You've got sauce on your cheek."

  "Oh. Oops." I wipe it with a napkin and smile back at her.

  "It's so stupid. I'm afraid to eat," she tells me a moment later.

  I sigh and reach across the table to touch her hand. I don't know why I do it, but I need to touch her. She meets my eyes and doesn't move. She doesn't pull her hand away.

  "I'm here. If you want one, eat it. If you don't, that's fine."

   "I want one," she says, but it sounds painful.

  I let my hand slip off of hers and pop another one into my mouth, then stand up again. There are still three in the basket.

  "I'll eat them later if you don't," I say and then wink at her before turning away.

  I want to stay here and sit with her but I can't. I have to work.

  Two hours later, I get a real break. It's quiet in the bar now, so I go out and tell Seph to follow me. She grabs her big bag and we go back out through the kitchen and past the break room, and then out the back door of the bar.

  I light my cigarette before I even look at her. I forgot to look to see if she ate the mozzarella sticks, but it doesn't seem all that important now. It's a hot, muggy night and there's only a small light back here. I can barely see her leaning against the building, a few feet away from me.

   "Can I have one?" she asks me, after I've smoked half of mine.

   "Yeah," I say and pass her a cigarette and my lighter. I was waiting for her to ask.

  I watch her smoke. I hope she'll smoke slow and we can stay out here longer. As long as possible. It just feels right. The rest of my shift, I'll just be cleaning. They might even let me leave early. I hope to God they do.

  "I ate," Seph finally says, once she tosses her cigarette and steps on it. "Two of those damn things. They were good."

  My eyes grow wide. "You did?"

  She nods, bashfully. "I think I can... keep it down. I think I..."

  "Yeah? You can. Seph, you're amazing. And if this if the first step, then-"

  She coughs and I stop talking. "Don't get ahead of yourself. I have had a lot of set backs."

  "Oh. Yeah. I just mean..." I let my voice trail off.

  "Thank you, Kian. You've been really great tonight."

  I step towards her and reach for her hand again. She lets me take it. I pull her closer to my body and I can feel her thin body against me. I can feel her heart pounding. I duck my head and whisper into her ear. "I believe in you."

  She pulls her head back right away and our eyes meet again. "Why?"

  "I don't know. But I know you need someone to believe in you. So... I do."

  A smile creeps onto her face. "You're something, Kian."

  "Something good?" I ask.

  "Something..." she says again.

  And then she rises onto her toes and presses her lips to mine. So far, our kisses have been fairly PG. By the pool, it was pretty tame. Unexpected. In my truck, I wanted more. So much more. Now, in the dark behind the bar, I know better. So I kiss her gently. I kiss her like I care about her, because I do. She doesn't push it to anything deeper, so neither do I, even though I want to.

   Tonight was big for her, and this is how I tell her that I'm proud of her.