"Did you guys feel it?" Peter had asked at dinner.

All conversations stopped, you could hear a pin drop. They all turned slowly toward the teen who was sat next to Tony.

It had been a couple of days since everyone had came back from the snap, it had been tough but they had figured out a way to do it where no one had to die.

The Guardians had gone back to space the first chance they got, Bruce and Thor had New Asgard and T'Challa along with Shuri had quickly escaped back to Wakanda.

Strange and Wong didn't even stay long enough to say goodbye.

The rest however went back to the compound together, no one had really spoken about what happened and Peter...

He hadn't spoken at all.

Until now. He was starting to regret asking as his heart beat harder and harder in his chest, no one was answering and that was making his panic worse.

He wanted to take it back and go back to eating, he wanted everyone to go back to acting like nothing happened but it did happen.

Yet no one was talking about it and he needed to talk about it because he needed to know whether or not everyone had felt it.

He needed to know whether or not everyone felt their body getting ripped apart inch by inch. He needed to know if everyone had felt that pain.

It was killing him not knowing.

"Did we feel what Pete?" His dad asked softly, surprised at Peter talking at all.

How was he so calm? How could he ever be this calm when half the universe just came back from the dead.

How was able to be just as kind and caring as he had always been when people died, half of the people in this room had been dead and Tony was acting as if he was the crazy one!

Peter picked up the fork and pushed around he food on his mostly full plate.

He didn't dare to look at the curious faces that he knew were staring back at him.

"Being... Y'know dusted." He still couldn't find the power to look up but he could tell everyone was shocked at the question.

No one had expected that, they knew the question was going to be heavy since this was the first time he'd spoken after coming back but this was not what they had expected.

They had assumed that he would ask if they missed him or if getting them back had hurt or anything else but this...

This was not what they expected.

After no one had said anything Peter finally forced himself to look up at his family.

They were all glancing between each other as if they were having a conversation without words.

It wouldn't be a surprise if they were, they had all known each other a long time before Peter had turned up so they knew each other better then Peter could ever know them.

And yet he wanted so desperate to be that close to someone again. His whole body ached to be loved by someone like that again.

He knew his dad loved him, hell he wouldn't have adopted him if he didn't but that doesn't change the fact that Peter wasn't really apart of their family.

Most of them he had only met a couple days prior and he spent two years of the of the two and a half he had been Tony's son for dead.

No he wasn't apart of this family, not yet anyway, his family are six feet under.

"It felt like falling asleep." Bucky was the one to break the silence.

He was new too, but him and Steve went way back so maybe he wasn't really new to the family more like that one cousin you see at holidays but still love just as much as the rest.

And yet he was the one to answer because he understood. He got that Peter need an answer because not knowing was worse then knowing.

He could see that Peter was an outsider in this family and that was fine because he was too, not to the extent Peter was but still he was on the outside.

Peter couldn't tell whether or not he was glad that he didn't have to feel it and wondered if it was because of all the torture that he'd become numb to pain.

However when everyone else nodded in agreement, he was sure that it had felt the same for them too.

And don't get Peter wrong he wasn't upset that it didn't hurt for anyone he had expected it, he saw the Guardians and Strange disappear and they didn't seem to be any pain but a part of him wanted someone else to be able to relate.

"Oh. I thought maybe-" He cut himself off, they didn't feel so he didn't want to burden them with how much it had hurt him.

Tony understood because of course he did, he was there he could see the pain in his sons eyes as he begged for his help while Tony had to watch.

There was nothing he could do to help and in that moment when his son apologised for dying Tony kind of wished he had died too.

Despite the fact that Tony knew what the teenager was talking about he stayed quite, he didn't fill in the gaps for everyone else.

Peter needed to talk about it and tell people even if they didn't understand. They wouldn't be able to fix it and that's not the point but they would be able to help.

Maybe not physically but they could help carry the burden and help him understand the thoughts and what happened.

So Tony stayed quite.

"You were dusted too weren't you?" Steve asked carefully, not wanting to frighten the boy.

Anyone could see the flash of panic that covered Peters face in the moment and that was all they need to know that he had been.

Yet it still wasn't enough for them to understand not yet anyway.

Peter had dropped the fork long ago and had started fiddling with the sleeve of Rhodey's MIT jumper that he had stolen instead.

Rhodey and Pepper were the only other ones in the room that had met Peter before the snap and not as Spider-Man.

They loved the kid more then anything and in this moment they saw him as the scared little sixteen year old boy he really was.

Peter was a lot maturer then most kids his age, acted as an adult more often then not even if he did have childish behaviour.

They knew that it was because of all the death he had seen within his life and often forgot that he was just a kid

In moments like this they remembered he was exactly that. Just a kid.

A kid that could lift a bus with his bare hands mind you but a kid all the same. A kid that has been through so, so much more then most of the others.

"You felt it?" Natasha was the first one to figure it out.

Of course she was, she was good at reading people it was what she did, what she was trained to do her whole life.

She had never hated her training more then she did in this moment when Peter's eyes started to water.

His face stayed blank as if he wasn't even in the room anymore and he wasn't.

He was back on Titan.

He could feel the way his body was being ripped apart and he could hear the panic in Tony's voice. It was like he was there.

Tony's callused hands coming to touch his shoulder softly in a comforting manner reminded him that he wasn't.

He was at the Avengers compound, the place he wasn't quite ready to call home because home was with May.

May was gone and yet Peter still thought of her as home. She had been the only solid thing in Peters life for a very long time.

Even after his parents died and after Ben had died, May was always there and it killed him knowing that May had died alone with no family with her.

It killed him even more when he came back and found that out. He was meant to be there when she died a long way in the future when they were both old and he had kids.

Though that's not how it happened, May died alone in a car crash when the other driver was dusted and Peter didn't get to say goodbye.

And that hurt more then feeling his body being ripped apart.

Peter nodding caused everyone to slightly gasp.

"I could feel each atom being pulled from my body one by one." Peter whispered but the silence meant everyone heard it loud and clear.

They wanted to comfort the boy as more tears fell from his eyes but none of them knew how, they didn't know him well enough.

Maybe they should have made more of an effort to get to know him, they could tell he had gone through something traumatic. He would barely leave Tony's side.

They didn't though. They ignored it in favour of reuniting with each other and pretending this horrible thing didn't happen.

But it did.

Tony, bless his heart, had tried to comfort his son. He let Peter sleep in his bed after nightmares and would let Peter stay glued to his side.

He didn't want it to seem like he was trying to replace his aunt.

He had adopted Peter the day after they had all came back so that he didn't get taken away just as he had gotten him back.

Because Peter was what he did it for.

All the long nights and the intense research. All the fights and killing Thanos. All the arguments the team had and all of the test and experiments.

It was all for Peter.

All to get him back.

Tony isn't sure whether they got all of Peter back. A part of him was destroyed when Thanos snapped his fingers and Tony hated that he couldn't fix that.

He fixed things for a living! Yet this he couldn't fix.

"I knew it was coming before it happened as well." Peter continued.

They could tell it was that, that was what scarred him the most.

Knowing what was going to happen and not being able to stop it.

If asked Peter would say 'I'm a superhero, I'm supposed to stop stuff like that.'

He would argue that he should have helped more or been stronger or faster or a million other things.

He wouldn't take the fact that it's not his job to stop it as an answer nor would he accept that he is still a child and he shouldn't have to stop it.

He would say 'with great power come great responsibility.'

Simply because he lives by that.

The rest weren't sure how to reply and continuing any previous conversation or even just eating in silence had long gone out the window so they sat waiting for someone, anyone to break the silence.

They weren't sure if they were thankful when Peter broke the silence or not.

"It hurt so much." The way he said in such a small broken whisper broke their hearts and when he started sobbing most of them were convinced they would too.

Tony was quick to pull his son into his arms while the others watched unable to help.

Tony rubbed circles on his back trying to sooth his kid as he looked desperately around the table for help.

His eyes finally landed on Rhodey who had an understanding look on his face and for a moment he wonder if this is how Rhodey felt when Tony had turned up in his dorm room crying when his parents died.

Now that he thought about it most of the people watching had the same look on their faces.

Tony yearned to know the stories behind the looks so that he could understand his team a bit better but he knew that now was not the time.

That didn't stop him from thinking about each person the member of the team had to console at one point or another.

Bucky's was almost definitely Steve and Clints must have been Natasha or maybe one of his kids. Sams was probably Riley and Wanda might have been Pietro but it was more likely the other way around.

He slightly scolded himself for getting distracted so quickly.

He pulled Peter closer to his chest, whispering soothing words into his hair as an attempt at calming him down.

Tony had to admit he had an easier time calming the hulk down.

The T-shirt he was wearing was soaked in tears and Peter was gripping it so tightly he was surprised it hadn't ripped but still he just hugged the boy tightly.

"I got you Pete." Tony whispered planting a kiss on the top of his head. "I got you."

And Peter hadn't felt this loved in a long time and hadn't felt this safe since before he was Spider-Man.

It was weird how his heart was still beating harder then he can ever remember it beating and he was still terrified of how the others would react because he was broken and couldn't handle his emotions by himself like he should.

He could feel that Tony was crying too and at first he thought his brain was just playing tricks on him but when he looked he could see the others crying as well even Nat.

Then maybe it's okay to break down he thought. If the worlds mightiest hero's can cry then so can he and for a while he forgot about everything else and just allowed himself to feel.

Allowed himself to feel the heart break and the pain and the fear as well as the love and the safe feeling he got when slowly but surely the others began to join the hug.

He wondered if this is what it's like to have a proper family. I mean sure he had May and Ben but they were gone now and even when they were alive they worked so much he never really got to see them.

His parents had died when he was five so he never really got to be a family with them either.

So even if he never had a family he enjoyed this feeling and he didn't think he ever wanted it to go away.

"I got you."

~*~

Hey!! I hope you enjoyed even if it was a bit angsty!

It is pretty long so thanks if you read it all.

I'll keep this A/N short since the last one was kinda long.

Okay bye.

Stay safe my dudes!