This may have some triggering themes, I'm not one hundred percent sure what should be a trigger warning so just be careful when reading!

There is mentions of suicide and people dying so safe reading!

~*~

When asked why Spider-Man wore a mask he would give the same excuses.

'It's called a secret identity for a reason!'

'I don't want people to know who I am.'

'I'm not doing this to be famous.'

'I have people to protect.'

'If people saw how attractive I was criminals would stop crime all together and I'd have nothing to do.'

Sometime when a kid would ask, especially after he has just saved them, he would tell them the truth and admit that he was scared and didn't want people to know.

If asked, why Peter Parker wore a mask, he would say the same thing. That he was scared.

It doesn't matter that one mask is metaphorical.

The difference was, however that no body noticed that Peter was wearing a mask.

Not May. Not Ned. Not Mj.

No one knew.

He preferred it that way, I mean he was a superhero for God's sake, they can't know that he's struggling.

When May died the mask cracked for the first time since he had put it on.

For a slight moment you could see the pain in his eyes when he had told Mr Stark what had happened.

But he didn't cry. He refused to cry.

Tony of course was quick to let Peter move in with him and was shocked at the fact that he didn't cry.

He was prepared for yelling and screaming and crying. He was prepared for nightmares and no sleep and a billion other things.

He was not prepared for nothing.

Not once did Peter cry in front of Tony or ask for help. Although he was pretty sure he was crying in his room at night.

No, not pretty sure. He was one hundred percent sure.

Their rooms were across the hall from each other and he could hear the crying. If he tried to comfort him though, by the time he got to the door it was as if the crying never happened.

Peter would say he was fine and Tony would ask him if he was sure.

Peter being Peter would nod and Tony would tell him that if there's anything he needs or wants to talk about he can.

And then Peter would smile and nod and promise that he would.

What a fucking liar.

There was nothing Tony could do, he had asked Pepper on many occasions. Hell he even called Rhodey and asked what he did when Tony was like this.

They would both say the same thing. 'Make sure he knows that you are there for him and let him come to you on your own time.'

Tony was patient and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Peter appreciated it and he knew that Tony was there for him but part of him just couldn't tell him what was wrong.

It was like the mask was no longer a mask and everything way blending together.

He was numb.

He hadn't felt like this since Ben died and he first put up the mask but the terrible feeling was back and it felt like he was drowning.

And yet he still couldn't ask for help and it was killing him. It was a slow and painful death and it wasn't quite over yet.

It would never be over.

He still had plenty of time before he would die of natural causes or maybe he would die in battle and until then he would have to suffer.

Some days he would get really close to telling Mr Stark what was wrong, so close that he could taste the words on his lips.

Then he would remind himself that he shouldn't. So he didn't.

Every time he went to he could tell that Tony knew he was about too if the sad look he got on his face after Peter chickened out was anything to go by.

When the Avengers moved back into the tower, they noticed the mask just like Tony did.

Not that, that makes Ned and Mj bad friends for not noticing.

The Avengers are trained to notice.

They asked Tony about it and he explained that he didn't know what was going on in that kids head.

The rest of them understood and promised to help as best they can.

It comforted Tony to know that he had someone with him.

Sure he had Pepper but she had a business to run and yeah he had Rhodey too but he was busy, they helped as best they could which wasn't a lot .

He still appreciated it.

Peter still wouldn't talk to him about what was going on.

And that hurt Tony in ways he couldn't explain. His son wouldn't talk to him about things that were important.

His son didn't trust him.

When Tony died. He died think that Peter didn't trust him.

He loved Peter and knew he loved him back but the trust was one sided.

The rest of them thought maybe the mask would finally crack and they would see him deal with his emotions.

But he didn't.

He was more closed off before. He refused to speak all together and never left his room.

The team didn't know what to do he was inconsolable, yet he still didn't cry.

The team barely saw him, they would just catch glimpses of him as they past him in the halls.

He didn't smile. Not anymore.

When they did finally see him. They wished they didn't.

There was so much blood. So so much blood.

He was still in his clothes laying in the bath, full of water that was now red.

So so red.

The worst part of it was the fact that he finally looked happy.

It was sick and twisted that he was dead but they had never seen him happier.

At least he was at peace now.

"He had left a note." Steve had said at the public funeral, they had one for Peter in private but they were also having one for Spider-Man.

"It said:" Steve spoke, they had decided he should speak at the funeral since he was the captain. "I'd stay if I could. But the universe won't let me. So please be good and don't you forget me."

"And we won't." Steve looked up and scanned the audience. "Because not only was Spider-Man the best of all of us, so was Peter Parker the kid behind the mask."

~*~

That was angsty, I try not to write angst cause I don't think I'm that good at it but I just watched gifted (Chris Evan is in it I recommend) and I cried watching.

Soooooo I wrote some angst.

I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Also if there are ever any spelling/grammar mistakes please point them out!

I tend not to proof read cause I always post at like midnight and I'm too tired too lmao.

Anyway bye.

Stay safe my dudes!