I know you've got the best intentions

I know that you're just trying to help me.

Just trying to find the right words to say

But I can't stop hurting you. I'm trying to change. How can I show you that?

Promise I've already learned my lesson

You don't have to remind me. I remember. After all, I'm only a broken canvas of my shattered memories.

But right now I wanna be not okay

But right now, I want to be able to feel like I'm running out of air. At least that way I'll feel something.

So tired sitting here waiting

Everyone says the same thing, again and again, while I wait for that one person who doesn't judge.

If I hear one more "Just be patient"

It's too much to bear and I cannot help it, no matter how long I wait.

It's always gonna stay the same

It's not changing.

So let me just give up

Let me reach the end.

So let me just let go

Let me drown.

If this isn't good for me

Well I don't wanna know

No matter how toxic you think my past is, I want to remember. How can I learn from my mistakes when you always keep them out of sight?

Let me just stop trying

Let my miseries suck me in.

Let me just stop fighting

Let me allow the darkness to take me.

I don't want your good advice

Or reasons why I'm alright

I don't want what you think is the answer.

You don't know what it's like

You've never experienced this.

You don't know what it's like

You've never known what it's like living under this skin.

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Peter Parker isn't who everyone thinks he is. He's just so tired of painting a fake smile on his face everywhere he goes, tired of pretending like someone he isn't. He's so tired of tugging his sleeves down everywhere he goes, hiding his cries for help, his broken heart and fractured soul.

He wants people to understand how he truly feels, how every word, every joke and every punch feels like a knife piercing his heart. Every laugh is a ghost of his memories, every song a reminder of when he wasn't fragile.

His only option is to hide, for every time he shows everyone just how lost he is, they pull their hands away and let him fall from the cliff that he's slowly slipping into.

He wants all the 'it's going to be all rights' all the 'it's going to end soons' to remember that they never went through what he feels. They never fell prey to the thoughts that haunted him at night, that sucked him into endless spirals of depression.

The only thing he knows is that they don't know what it's like, and he wants to keep it that way. 

Nobody deserves to become the shell that he is now.

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A/N: Hey guys! This is my first book ever and I'd like to say that any comments, even negative, are seriously appreciated.

The song I used is called 'You don't know' by Katelyn Tarver.

Goodbye!!