The next big thing left now was packing. I think that we should be keeping toothbrush,towels,one gun……… I said.

‘Gun? Come on! Man. We are on recreational trip.’ Simon sighed in annoyance.

‘So?’ I asked twisting my eyebrows.

‘So! So we shouldn’t keep it. You don’t get encountered just going normally among public.” Luwis said.

‘But we never know what’s coming next. Best to take preventive measures. ‘ I argued.

‘Then bloody hell keep it. But we aren’t.’ Both said firmly.

‘Hmm! Your choice. But marks my words. You will regret it someday.’ I said moving on to next thing.

‘Well what do you say about peanut butter?’ I asked.

‘Hamburger is much better!’

‘We are talking about butter here.’ I said .

‘Ya! But I am talking about hamburger.’ Simon said.

‘WTF! I mean are you out of your senses?’ I said bewildered.

‘Harper & smith’s butter is best.’ Luwis said.

‘No! they are not.’ Simon said.

‘Why?’ I asked getting irritated more and more.

‘Because they are not good.’ Simon said.

‘Get this man out of here. I am literally saying ‘get this man out of here.’ I said towering.

‘But it is my home.’ He said and I began to walk fumbling sometimes keeping hands in pocket, sometimes taking it out.

Luwis began just shouting in rather serious tone to someone who was not there. ‘Is this way to live? We are sharing same room for so long time. Your ancestors were so civilized. Now you don’t share our tax but at least should have learned some manners. Coming out like this and freaking the soul out of us. So ill-mannered.’

‘Whom are you talking to?’ I asked staring at him.

‘Oh! A reptile was just teeming out like whole room belongs to him.’

‘I mean what…are you..seriously even human? Literally insanity would have cried here”

‘Yes! I have to pee so I am human.’ He said frankly.

‘I mean literally man ..of all the reasons that you could think of to prove that you are human, this peeing is one which pops up in your mind? Literally! That is so weird.’ I said.

‘But what is the need of proving it. I know I am human.’ He said.

‘WELL Mr Luwis, in maths too you know some postulate but still you gotta prove it.’ I said looking at him.

‘But I am not maths. How can you just impose any silly reference here? So irrelevant!’  He howled.

That was not irrelevant.’ I screamed. Suddenly a song began to bust out our brain or I should say mine only.

’Hey when I was a baby!

Hey when I was a baby!

A lullaby my mama used to sing

I have no idea what it was

Just go into damp pop-tarts!

Just go into chezzy pig sauce!’

I was like just couldn’t express the exact feeling right then. ’What the fuck are you doing, man?’

‘Listening to song while you two fighting like senile womens.’

‘Senile is the not word which you would use here and after saying women which is plural already there is no need or I should say it is completely incorrect to add s.’  I sighed in annoyance.

‘Shut up, Oxfordian. When did I say ass ?’ He asked.

‘Not ass, you ass but the ‘s’. S for smooch. Understand ?’ I shouted in his ears.

‘I am not ass. ya I understood’ Simon said..

‘ But why only smooch for all the words you could have said to prove it is ‘s’. ‘Luwis interrupted and smiled like getcha you lad.

‘What are even discussing about? There is only two hour till clock striked twelve and we have barely begun packing. I don’t think we can make it. We would have to shift plan to tomorrow.’ I said gravely.

‘Don’t be an idiot. When I was in school, you know I used to pack perfectly in fifteen minutes. What is so big deal now?’ Simon asked,

‘The big deal about this is that we are going to a different nation on a mad-goose chase and most importantly it is gonna  of last couple of days so if you just wanna talk nonsense here and waste our time, then I would rather suggest this plan should be retarted.’ I said being serious.

‘Hmm! Alright so where were we when all these hell break loose because of us.’ Luwis sighed.

‘wait a minute. ’us’ literally US. You two were the one to start this idiotic conversation. Anyway now I think time has come to act like mature person.’ I said while taking deep breath.

‘Hmm! So you were acting immature person till now.’ Luwis asked in tone that infuriated me but I know better to argue. I knew that to argue with these was just..well you must have got the idea what they are by now.

‘I am putting six peanut butter packets here. Now there is three luggage bag alright! You two should start packing while I will potter about giving you some directions. Alright?’ I asked expecting yes rom them for sure but whom I was kidding even I knew.

‘Sounds like dictating.’ Luwis remarked.

‘I mean what is the matter with you guys? In even serious stuff, you just wanna pull on some idiotic joke. I am really serious about this.’

‘Like james bond?” Simon asked shrugged.

‘What James Bond?’ I asked looking puzzled suddenly being struck by this sudden.

‘Oh !  James bond, Ian Femming’s guy . Detective and spy man.’ Luwis said.

‘I know who he is. THANKS for help. But what about him?” I aksed.

“I mean are you serious like James Bond you mean.”  Simon said.

“Yeah sure if it gets you two to work calmly and pack bags.” I said and finally we all started to pack our bags. First thing that went into my bag was toothpaste. Simply because on one instance I thought that I will just pick it up in morning and then when I forgot, an old lady complained all the way on the train about strange onion smell as I tried to make her believe that I hadn’t eaten onion last night. The old woman was in such a fixation that if I wasn’t the man of logic and science that some evil was inside her who haunts the travellers on train with annoyance. Though even if I do believe that it sounds absurd.

I shrugged off the bad memory and thought this trip was gonna be awesome. I looked over to Luwis who was putting his boots in first and then he spilled jam bottle completely on it. I was barely keeping it together.

Simon then came and looked over what was happening and said

“Oh bro! Those were my best jam”

“Wait! You are worried about that pickle jam more than your boots.” I questioned him.

“Oh! I completely forgot about that. That was also not good, Luwis.”

I shook my head at both of them. Those two! Jeez what will I make of them. Finally after intense battle of 30 minutes which involved pillow throwing, running after each other our packing was done. Simon’s bag was like messy to say per say. I mean it was like just you open, some rubber will hit you. Anyway I didn’t want to push my luck so I just relented.

                                      Next day

I woke up early as usual at 6. I saw that both were sleeping and I grinned at the fact that I would be ready much before them. Ii went to brush my teeth in one bathroom.  When I finally was ready and came down, I saw those two sitting on table eating breakfast. I was just staring at them with my mouth hanging open. It was truly wonder to see that how these two were ready so fast and prepared breakfast and were eating it. They just shrugged at seeing me and continued eating.

Well today was gonna be hella exciting and I was like very eager to see what awaits us completely unaware that today will change our life completely. It would topple civilization, erase history and break the timeline. We filled our trunks with our bags and Simon started driving. We were going without even talking for past 5 minutes and there was no music. So I told him” come on! Man at least put on some nice music.” To which he started to play best song ever. “Sweet dreams”.

I started to hum the tune and read the map of France. I had plan for visiting many places but first I wanted to get quickly to Paris coz that was intriguing and detectives like us are living for that only.

“So I was thinking that something.” Simon said suddenly.

“Huh! What?” I asked him.

“If we find something interesting, would we solve it on our own or tell our boss or authorities?” he said/

“Hmm! That is a good issue. I think that since we have earned a holiday. We should try to solve it on our own.” I said.

“I agree too.” Luwis said. We all looked at each other and felt like that now we are serious adult in full seriousness.

                     3 minutes later

“Hey! Give me the steering.” Luwis pushed Simon. Simon and Luwis both were fighting over who to drive in heavy traffic over flyover and I was screaming. Gosh! I can’t catch a break. It was not like we tried to do such thing on purpose but somehow whenever we do something, something contrast to it happens just after it and we feel like fate is playing with us.

  The checkpoint arrived and we were waiting in queue now. A guard began to check our id and license of Simon. He asked friendly “So where you off to, mates?”

“Paris. What about you?” Luwis said.

“To check more people’s Id and license.” He said hitching his eyes. I am happy to say that Luwis didn’t try to start conversation with any stranger after that on the trip.

 Keep posted for next chapter.