Penny

Allura has grown silent.

"What did you do?" I ask, hopefully prompting her to continue.

She pauses, opting instead to admire the night's muted beauty for a second longer. After a moment, she lets out a shaky exhale, turning to me, eyes glistening with imminent tears.

"Eithne, I beg you to reconsider. Once you know the truth, I can not stop Fate from unraveling an uncertain future for you. Perhaps if you remain unknowing, they will take pity on you, and--"

I shake my head, near tears myself because I deserve to know why I almost died. I understand it pains her to tell me the truth, but I can't go on living like I'm someone I'm not. She will never understand because she holds all the power in her hands, with a wave of her hand she can alter the course of my very life. I, on the other hand, am at her and the queen's mercy.

Holding the truth behind my identity hostage is simply one example of the power imbalance between us.

"I need to know, my life depends on it. I meant what I said in the palace, Allura. If you can not give me the truth, I will search for it elsewhere. And I will find it, and perhaps then I may not find it in me to forgive you for keeping it from me."

I hesitate, testing the boundary between lover and subject, bride to be and assuming monarch.

"Put yourself in my shoes," I whisper, desperation bleeding into my voice, "How would you fare if your wife purposely withheld your identity from you?"

Swallowing thickly, the princess gazes at me, reaching for a raven tendril that falls from behind my ear to my cheek and temple. Her look is mournful, her usual aloofness sullied by a knowledge which has plagued her since that evening in the palace a fortnight ago. I've felt the difference in her nightly visits. Her attentions became slower, more deliberate. She's been savoring me, taking her time to love me more with each passing evening.

"Let me make love to you one last time," she whispers, lowering her gaze to my breasts.

I feel my heart stop beating, pain overcoming my frustration.

"Why?" I ask suspiciously, "Are you saying you can not marry me unless I remain a stranger to myself? Is that what we're doing?"

Allura shakes her head, reaching to me with a frantic hand, but I recoil.

"That is not what I meant!"

I narrow my eyes and purse my lips, hurt. If she seeks an agreeable wife who does not question her place and only lives for her validation, then she should look elsewhere.

"Then what did you mean? Why can we not wait to make love after? Why now, when my questions about myself are to be answered?"

"Because..."

I push on, shaking my head.

"Because why, Allura? Because you do not wish to marry a woman who is anything but silent, pleasant and agreeable? Or because you fear I will leave you upon discovering the truth? What are you so afraid of?!"

"Will you still for a second, Eithne? I only meant--"

I scowl, shifting from beside her, intending to leave. I am about to stand when she scrambles towards me, lunging atop me and bringing me to the ground with her, caging me within her arms. She moves to place her palms on either side of my head, one of her legs nestled between my thighs, the other bent beside my waist. Her strong knee pushes up against me, creating a heavenly friction that makes me writhe beneath her and produce a broken cry.

At my sound, she stills, the corner of her lips curving upward in smugness. Her smile vanishes as quickly as it formed, however, and her expression returns to its usual solemnity.

"I only meant that my days on this Earth are numbered," she says, reaching to wipe a tear upon her cheek with a soiled hand.

I still, feeling my nose sting with an oncoming wave of anguish.

"What? What do you mean numbered? I don't-- I don't understand..."

"I only wish to protect you from the truth, Eithne, but you have requested it, and so I will honor your wishes."

My face is overcome with a warm flush, my nose and eyes with the prickle of tears. Allura, too, seems overwhelmed, gulping as she forces herself to continue. She looks away for an instant before returning her sorrow-filled eyes to me.

"I am to die at my mother's hand. I have known for some time, now."

I shake my head, feeling a sob begin to build up from within my stomach. It travels up my throat, unfurling past my lips in an ugly lament. My chest heaves, hurting with a pain far beyond me.

"I- that's not possible," I cry, "She's your mother! Maybe this is all a result of a build up of exhaustion from all your undertakings. Maybe--"

Allura shakes her head, crushing me with her weight, pushing her lips against mine with the bitter might of one who knows their end is imminent. She parts my lips, slipping her tongue past them, her hands drifting to my breasts as she shifts her weight on top of me, undoing the laces of my dress.

"It has been foretold, my death is inevitable. This gift that the Heavens fashioned out of the sun, the one that almost took your life once, it allows you to see the future. Your childhood was plagued by images even the grown can not endure. You knew of what was to come, and I heard from your very lips--"

The princess gasps, stopping herself. Her own sobs have overcome her, and she hesitates a moment before gathering her wits.

"You were never ill, Eithne," she sobs, moving from me, placing her hands on her face.

Alarmed at her distress, I sit up, paying no mind to the sudden rush of cool air that strikes my breasts as my dress falls and pools at my waist. I reach for her, wanting to envelop her, but she shakes her head and grabs my arms, instead choosing to graze my cheek with the tip of her nose.

"The night I chanced upon you led to a most valued friendship. Within three months, I was mad with love for you, and so I begged your mother for your hand in marriage. But only two days before we were set to wed, the Fates granted you a most horrid vision."

Returning her hands to her face, she lets out another deep-rooted sob.

"You foresaw my death, and it drove you to profound grief. Upon my mother's discovery of my knowledge of your gift, she would grow enraged-- sending a mercenary to deal with your fate and my impertinence for our betrayal to the crown. For many years, your family was able to use their resources to protect you from being outed, but ultimately, Fate would decide what was to become of us, of you."

I feel another sob of my own build up from within me, feeling pain at the mere thought of losing her. I can't imagine what it was like to have witnessed it with my very eyes.

"That gift was rumored to be a curse upon Lovely as punishment for humanity's surrender to the moon's folly. The Elders' Council and my Queen mother had decided that whomever bore the sun's gift would be subject to the severity of Lovelish law. To her, our refusal to tell her of your gift was an act of treason."

I shake my head, wishing now that I'd been born with a temper agreeable and pleasant so I wouldn't have had to know of my past. I would have evaded this knowledge if only I'd listened. If only I wasn't so stubborn and set in my own ways, I could've escaped the heartache and grief beginning to consume the both of us.

Allura was right-- at times, knowledge is naught but a curse in disguise.

"You begged me to poison you, so that those around you could escape their fates. But I told you our fates were decided only by the Heavens and the Fates themselves, that you were merely a messenger. You were not responsible for what they decreed."

Shaking her head, she pulls her knees up to her chest, placing her palms on her knees and her forehead on her hands.

"I left for battle that day. When I returned, I found you in your chambers, your brown skin an unnatural pale, your hands as cold as a Dolorian winter night while you lay upon your bed. Still and unresponsive."

I wipe the tip of my nose with the back of my hand, refusing to accept our fates as they are. Why would the Heavens waste a gift like that if the purpose of knowing the future is not so one could change it? What is its purpose then?

"B-but you're here, now! How do you know your mother will take you from me, today? Why is tonight our last night together?"

Raising her head, Allura unbends her legs before her.

"I have a feeling, perhaps a premonition... but... never mind that," she says, wiping her tears and straightening her posture, clearing her throat so all remnants of her pain are eroded away.

"I wish to spend my last hours loving you. I don't want my ending moments to be tainted by anguish. Let me depart this Earth with your name on my lips, so that when the realm of Hades welcomes me, my last memory to savor for all eternity is that of my beloved..."