The last forty-eight hours have been hell.

Between packing up all my belongings from Hazel's suite, telling Larry and Lloyd goodbye, accepting that my run as the owner of the Reynard was over, and signing the papers that put Raven officially in charge, I had enough to give me nightmares.

But the worst part was how Soren and I had left things. I hadn't seen him since our discussion in the forest the day before yesterday. He was probably staying away for what he felt was my benefit, but all I wanted was to see him one more time before I left. We'd wasted almost two whole days together, and I regretted ever voicing my desire to hear his true feelings. I should've just let it go, but as I usually do, I pushed too hard and fucked everything up.

I was packing my last box when I heard a tap-tapping at my door. I jumped up, hoping against hope it was him, but when I swung the door open, my heart sank and my guard went up at the same time.

Raven stood in the hallway in her navy-blue pinstripe business suit, her black hair slicked into a bun on top of her head. "Gemma," she said with that tone of superiority she had so long ago mastered. "Good evening. I thought I'd check and see if there's anything I can do to help you." Her fake, sickly sweet tone made me nauseous.

Get out faster, I completed her sentence in my head. "No. I'm fine." I stepped aside, my manners winning over my bitterness. "Would you like to come in anyway? How about a glass of wine? Oh, wait, sorry, that's only a drink for us sinners."

"Well, at least you acknowledge it. I'll take a glass of water," she said, glaring at Hazel's belongings with a curled lip. "I can't believe you chose to stay in here. This place is," she lifted the hand crocheted blanket from the back of the couch with two fingers, "lacking."

I didn't even bother to suppress my eye roll as I filled a glass with tap water, no ice. "Do you have to be so snobby? I mean, I realize who our mothers are, but Hunter and I managed to not follow in the rest of the family's footsteps. Why couldn't you?" I knew I was being a bitch, but to see her come in what I had considered my home and do nothing but spout insults burned me up. "You never liked Aunt Hazel or anything about the Reynard. So, it isn't surprising that you'd not approve of her suite. Why comment on it at all?" I set the glass on the table in front of her and added, "I'm out of bottled water; maybe you can bless this glass and it won't taste like shit," I spat.

Raven scowled. "Keep mocking me, that's fine; see who comes out on top. And as far as Hazel goes, she liked you best. All your little shared secrets and her calling you here early so you could have time alone. She didn't care for me, so I didn't care for her."

I wanted to call her out for the juvenile way she was acting, but another side of me basked in this one thing that made her jealous of me. It was petty, and I should have told her that Hazel loved her just as much as me, but I didn't. Instead, I took a sip of my wine.

"What do you want, Raven? Why are you in my room? You got what you wanted: control of the hotel. You and our families successfully pushed me out. What more can I give you? You're taking everything I have. Do you understand that?"

She stood and placed the glass on the coffee table. "I guess I just wanted to gloat one last time. Thank God I'm washed in the blood and forgiven of my spite."

We both walked toward the door as I said, "You know, for the daughter of a pastor, you sure have a backwards way of thinking. I hope that one day you figure out who you really want to be, Raven. Because this," I pointed at her and moved my finger up and down, "cannot be it."

Raven laughed, the sound of it grating on my every nerve. "Oh, that's rich. You, Gemma the Indecisive, telling me to figure out who I am? Classic." She shook her head and opened the door. "Have a safe trip back to Boston. I'll take good care of the place for you."

The tome sitting on the coffee table caught my eye. I hated handing her the book that contained so many of Hazel's inner thoughts, but it was necessary. This was the guidebook for the owner, and I could only hope that it would make her see how important this place was.

"You're going to need this," I said, picking up the book before she walked out.

Raven stepped back and eyed the book. "What is it?"

"Basically, a journal with entries from every woman who owned the hotel before us. You should read it. The key to the room will open it and you must read from start to finish but be careful...it...it can be intense, and you don't want to take in too much all at once."

I couldn't tell her it was magical; she would most likely think I'm crazy or burn it for being possessed by the devil. But I could do her this one favor in hopes that it benefited Soren and made his time with her bearable. He had already survived so much hatred from the woman in our family, he didn't deserve that treatment again. And neither did Archer.

Without a word, she took the book and turned away, taking the last piece of the Reynard from my hands.

As soon as she shut the door behind her, I sank down onto the couch and put my head in my hands. Going back to Boston was the last thing I wanted to do right now, especially because my lease was up on my apartment and I'd be staying with my parents until I found another place. That part was almost as bad as leaving Soren.

Almost.

I picked up my last bag and looked around Hazel's suite one last time. The wooden stove I'd sat in front of and read the tome, the bed I'd shared with Soren, the bathtub where he'd held me after everything went to shit. Leaving felt wrong, like driving against traffic on a one-way highway.

But it was time to let go.

I locked the door behind me and walked down to the front desk where Larry and Lloyd were standing, depressed looks on their usually jovial faces.

"Hey, now. Don't look so sad," I said, my voice strained over the perpetual lump in my throat. "I'll come back to visit, and I will be here for Winter Spirits. And even though I don't want to, I have to admit that Raven does know how to manage a business. You guys will be all right."

Larry smiled and put his weathered hands on my shoulders. "We know. But she's not Gemma," he said, pulling me into a hug.

Tears gathered at the corners of my eyes as I wrapped my arm around him and pulled Lloyd in next to us. "Thank you guys for welcoming me and helping me get my shit together. Even though I ultimately failed, you two gave me the best start I could've asked for," I said, wiping my eyes as I pulled back.

Lloyd shook his head. "You didn't fail. If your family had given you half a—"

I put my finger to my lips. "Take care of Soren for me?"

They both nodded, and before I lost my composure, I walked out of the lobby and ran down the steps to my car, my backpack bouncing against my back and my hair flying loose around my shoulders.

I packed all my belongings into my car and slammed the trunk shut. With a deep breath, I pulled my keys from my pocket and opened the driver's side door. As I moved to crawl inside, a hand landed on my shoulder and gently guided me to turn around. I looked up into Soren's face—his eyes just as red-rimmed as mine—and relief washed over me.

"I hate myself for being so fucking self-sacrificing. I wasted my last moments with you, and I'll never forgive myself for that. To make up for my absolute stupidity, here is the answer to your question. I wake up thinking about you and at night, I fall asleep with thoughts of you taking up every corner of my mind. I have never felt about anyone else the way I feel about you, and I've felt this way for quite some time. I understand that these might not be the words you were hoping I'd say, but it is the best I can give you with the hopes that the stabbing pain in my chest doesn't grow into a void that eats me alive without you." Soren closed his eyes and ran his hand over the back of his neck. "I don't know if that even makes sense."

I put my hands on his cheeks and pulled his face to mine, my lips brushing his as I whispered, "That was everything I'd hoped you say. And of course, it makes sense; it's exactly how I've felt the past two days without you." I closed my lips over his, leaning against the car and pulling him flush against me. When we parted to breathe, I said, "You'll never be without me, Soren. My family may have taken the hotel out of my name, but they can't stop me from coming here." I ran my hand down his chest and brushed my other thumb over his bottom lip.

"I know it should no longer matter, but it has a whole new meaning now. Please don't fall in love with me, Gemma." His eyes turned glassy, he leaned in to place one more kiss on my lips and walked away.

As I watched his retreating form, I realized it was too late; I already had.

But as long as I never admitted it out loud, I could at least keep him in the same realm with me.