Jeremy insisted on making lunch for the three of us, dispite it being past lunch time. Cooking was one of his greatest passions. He prepared a pan seared tallipa, almond orange dressing over a mixed greens, boxed mac-n-cheese (Beth insisted), and rice pilaf.

We ate at the table, drank white wine and listened to Bach.

Beth told us about some of the childhood memories she was fond of recalling and some she wished had never happened.

Jeremy told her about his vampire mother. Her name had been Juliet LaRou. She had been 19 when she had been turned. For the 230 years Jeremy had stayed with her they had often posed as father and daughter.

"That explains why your so good at playing the father figure." I laughed and took a sip of wine.

"Ahh, but you make it easy, Alex. You've always been one that though things through. Even when that priest kidnapped you, or the werewolf stalked you or the vampire coven in Rome plotted to take over it was you that held together." Jeremy said and lifted his glass in salute.

It wasn't his words that almost made my jaw drop. It was the sincerity in his voice. He never missed an opportunity to needle me about those incidence but his voice held absolute admiration.

"You tease me about that stuff." I said. My voice wasn't as strong and unaffected as I had wanted it to sound.

"Jokingly, Alex. No matter what comes your was you come out fighting, even when it looks like you lost. Another week in priest hands and you'd be dead."

"His coven saved me. I..." I shook my head not liking that I had to be saved. I had looked like the proverbial damsel in distress.

"If you hadn't contacted me by the coded symbols in your room at the hotel we wouldn't have known who had taken you. If you had gave up before the coven found you you wouldn't be here. It's okay to need others Alex." He lifted his shoulders in an uncharacteristic shrug. "I need you and Stephano. You're my family." He paused. "The last 30 years I've gotten the feeling you want distance. I've tried to give you that." He sat his wine glass on the table.

I was very aware of Beth who sat with us at the table. She still held her fork and was poking at the mac-n-cheese. I only knew she paying attention to the conversation because I could hear the beat of her heart. It gave her away as it beat faster or slowed.

"I'm not sure if you understand that I love you. You are my daughter."

Jeremy had never spoken to me like this. I found it uncomfortable.

I didn't know what I should say. I stood, my chair scrapped the floor lightly. I caught the look of hurt on Jeremy's face. I placed my paper napkin on the table by my plate.

"I love you too Jeremy." I walked out of the room.

I made my way to my bedroom. My emotions were fractured. I needed to be alone. I didn't know why Jeremy had initiated the conversation. I didn't know that he had noticed my withdrawal. I hadn't meant to hurt him. I hadn't known how he had felt. The knowledge concerned me. Did he think I was ungrateful for all he had done for me? Had my distant behavior hurt him more then I repay?

I picked up my cell phone from the nightstand.

I'm sorry. You are my father. I've never been good at the togetherness thing. I do love you and I am grateful for all you've done for me. I sent to his phone. I knew I should go downstairs and talk to him but I couldn't. I still needed the buffer zone.

My cell beeped and vibrated in my hand. I opened the message.

I know, Alexis. But I think you are scared of needing people. It's not as bad as you think. I could almost hear his voice as I read his text.

Maybe not for you. I text then added, How can I let anyone that close when I know that they will end up hurting me?

I waited for the reply. Finally I opened the text before it even stopped buzzing.

Not everyone will hurt you, Alexis. You will live many years, have lived many, you don't have to do it alone. We care. You just have to take a chance that we won't hurt you. Don't push people away. Life is to long to be lonely when it could be filled with love.

I read the text as my hand shakes. If I were honest with myself I had to admit that there had been times that I had longed for what I had thought James and I would have had. His betrayal had scarred me more than I wanted to admit. Jeremy had never betrayed me. Neither had Stephano. Stephano had even helped with the vampire coven.

I had let no one else get close to me. Vampire, Were, Fae, Human, many had tried to form bonds with me but I had resisted. I had wanted to protect myself. Had I made a mistake? Could I have missed out on friendships that could have lasted? Or had I saved myself from the bite of more betrayal?

A small cramp started in my stomach, but my mind was on missed opportunities, missed friendships, missed companionships.

I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I can trust like that. I sent the new text to Jeremy.

His response came quickly.

You can. You have a good heart and people are drawn to that.

My hands were shaking as typed. I think I want to with Beth. But I'm scared. There's no guarantee that the mate bond will last. I sent the text. My muscles in my back felt tense. I sat down on the bed.

Hunger clawed at me. I needed blood.

Blood. I sent the text and clutched the phone to my chest. I felt like I was sinking as I layed back on the bed.

My mind was lucid enough to be thankful that the door was closed and I could only catch a faint scent of Beth.

Pain ripped through my abdomen. I felt it from my throat to my groin. It felt like I had swallowed a white hot lightening bolt.

Sweat beaded my skin. My muscles ached. My throat was dry. My hands shook.

Something was wrong. I had never felt this bad from hunger.

I felt hot like I had a fever. The heat continued to grow until it felt I was being burned alive. The flames licked at my the skin. I clutched the blankets to hold on to something as I twisted on the bed. The pain was too much. My mouth opened but all that came out was screaming as I continued to burn.