Season 1, Episode 18: Laryngitis

Ownership of Glee: FOX, Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, Brad Falchuk

= = =

Will was holding a piece of paper that included 5 names of Glee kids that had completely stopped singing. Rachel had the choir room bugged so she could figure out who stopped singing.

Rachel's list:
1. Finn Hudson
2. Quinn Fabray
3. Santana Lopez
4. Noah Puckerman
5. Brittany Pierce

Will looks as disappointed as he sounds. "I am very disappointed in you guys."

"I can't believe you narced on us." Finn says.

Rachel scoffs. "Don't get mad at me for exposing your laziness. I'm tired of carrying all of your weight. Regionals is in a month, guys."

"I'm just trying to understand what's going on here. Finn, why did you stop singing?" Will asks.

Finn shrugs. "Cause you started giving all the male leads to Jesse. It kind of shook my confidence, y'know."

Santana gives an exasperated sigh. "What difference does it make? Everyone knows that my job here is to look hot."

"My baby hormones are making me moody." Quinn says.

"There are so many lyrics." Brittany states.

Will sighs. "Okay. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. A glee club is about a myriad of voices coming together as one. Alright? This ends now. Which is why your assignment for the week is for each of you to come up with a song that best represents how you see yourself, where you are in your lives right now. Your voice. Then you're going to stand up here and sing your hearts out. All of you."

Kurt looks hopeful. "Solos?" He asks.

"In front of everyone?" Violet asks.

Will smiles. "The Glee Club has lost its voice. It's time for us to get it back."

= = =

Kurt and Violet are walking out of the choir room as the period ends.

Kurt smiles at his girlfriend. "Baby I am going to kill this assignment. If there's one thing that I know, it's my voice. I have exactly the same vocal range as 16th-century castrato Orlando di Lasso. But you know what he didn't have?" He asks. Violet shakes her head. "A song by Miss Whitney Houston in his back pocket." Kurt says.

Burt appears in the hallway behind them. "Hey, Kurt. Hey, Violet."

Kurt and Violet turn around. "Dad? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?" Kurt asks.

Burt smiles. "No, I'm here to pick up Finn. I got a pair of tickets to the Reds game, and Carole said that Finn's never been to a major league game. I mean, it's Cincinnati, so it's barely the major leagues, but still."

Kurt looks hurt. "And why wasn't I invited?"

Burt starts laughing a bit. "Are you kidding me? Every time I sit down and watch a game, you start in on the fact that all the players are wearing stirrup pants."

"Because there's never an excuse for stirrup pants." Kurt and Violet say simultaneously.

Finn appears. "Okay, I'm ready."

Burt nods. "Alright, I'll meet you by the car. This is gonna be so great. It's gonna be great for Finn, and it means a lot to his mom, too. Hey, I'll see you two at home. I'll be home around midnight."

Kurt stares after them. Violet kisses his cheek.

"Don't sweat it baby. He's just trying to bond with Finn."

= = =

Puck and Mercedes are in the choir room before Glee practice.

Puck smirks at her. "Girl, you got more curves than a Nissan ad."

Mercedes raises an eyebrow. "Seriously? That's what you came up with?"

Will arrives and claps his hands twice. "Alright, guys. Let's get things started."

Rachel stands up. "As I was first on the sign-up sheet, I'll kick things off."

Will nods. "Okay."

"I have chosen Miley Cyrus's "The Climb" because it's about overcoming obstacles and beating the odds. In my case, the obstacle is you, my lackluster teammates who refuse to carry their own weight." Rachel says.

Rachel is clearly off key and struggling to sing "The Climb". As she sings, the New Directions react, looking embarrassed and confused. After a few lines, Will cuts her off.

"Rachel. I think you've lost your voice." Will says.

Rachel looks horrified. Violet frowns gently.

She really wanted to hear her ex-sister sing Miley Cyrus.

= = =

Sue walks up to Kurt, who's at his locker. "Hey, ladyface. I noticed you weren't at Cheerios practice yesterday, and I don't look kindly on absenteeism."

Kurt looks at the coach. "I am so sorry, Miss Sylvester. It won't happen again. Something happened yesterday that really upset me. It's my dad. He's the most important thing in the world to me. I love him, and I'm afraid that I might be losing him because of my ... sexuality."

"Your sexuality. How old are you, 16? Have you even kissed a boy?" Sue asks.

Kurt shakes his head. "No."

"Have you ever kissed a girl?" She asks.

Kurt smiles. "Yes." He says as he thinks of Violet.

Sue shakes her head. "Well then, how can you possibly know what you like? You see, that's the problem with your generation. You're obsessed with labels. So you like show tunes. Doesn't mean you're gay. It just means you're awful. You know, there's only one person in this world who can tell you what you are."

Kurt smiles. "Me."

Sue shakes her head. "No. Me." She answers. Kurt stops smiling. "Sue Sylvester. And she hasn't quite made up her mind about you."

"Wait. I have an idea. Our assignment for Glee Club is to find a song that reflects our voice – " Kurt gets cut off by Sue.

"Yeah, you know what? I checked out of this conversation about a minute back. So, uh, good luck with your troubles, and I'm gonna make it a habit not to stop and talk to students cause this has been a colossal waste of my time." Sue says before walking off.

= = =

At the Hummel house, Violet walks up from hers and Kurt's basement bedroom to fetch Burt. "Burt? Kurt wants to talk to you." She says and goes back downstairs.

Burt starts walking downstairs a few minutes after Violet. "Hey, Kurt. You wanted to speak to me?"

Kurt is obscured by a chair. "Hey, dad, yeah. I was just, uh, working on my Glee Club assignment. "Pink Houses" by John Mellencamp." Kurt is wearing work boots, cuffed jeans, black t-shirt, red flannel shirt, puffy parka and grey baseball cap.

Burt looks shocked by his son's appearance. "Oh. Really? I didn't think that was in your wheelhouse."

Kurt nods. "Yeah. I think it's really brave for a Midwesterner like himself to, uh, write a song about such bold interior design."

Burt and Violet both look at him. "You know that's not what the song's about." Burt says.

"Really?" Kurt asks.

"No, it's about how the '80s were a tough time for a lot of people, and, y'know, the American dream isn't all it's cracked up to be." Burt answers.

Kurt nods. "Hmm. Fascinating. Hey, why don't we go grab a couple burgers, and, uh, you can tell me more about it?" He asks. He looks at Violet. "You wanna come with us babe?" He asks.

Violet nods. "Sure." She says with a fake smile plastered on. She hates his new look. She wants the old Kurt back.

Burt nods. "Sure. But I gotta be honest, it's pretty much what every Mellencamp song is about. But you know what? I'll get my coat. Anything to help you out." He says and then leaves.

Violet wonders how long Kurt is going to keep this up. She wants her boyfriend back.

= = =

Finn sings "Jessie's Girl" in the choir room during Glee rehearsal. Everyone is clapping and cheering along.

[Jessie's Girl by Finn]

Will smiles and pats Finn on the back. "Nice work. Now that, that is the kind of soul-exposing song I was talking about. We should all be inspired by Finn's bravery. Good job, buddy." He praises as Finn takes his seat.

Puck raises his hand. "Uh, Mr. Shue, can I sing my song now?"

Will nods. "Yeah. Let's go for it, Puck."

Puck gets up and opens the door to the choir room, letting in the jazz band.

Mercedes looks confused. "What are they doing here?"

Puck smirks. "I invited my brothers from the jazz band and their righteous horns to help me out with my song. Since I shaved my mohawk I started seeing things differently. Last week I joined a black church. And I recently downloaded every song Sammy Davis, Jr. ever recorded on iTunes." He reveals. Mercedes rolls her eyes. "He was a black Jew, you know, and my inspiration. So without further ado, I give you one of Sammy's biggest hits."

Puck starts off singing "The Lady is a Tramp" to Finn, Brittany and Quinn, and Santana is clearly enjoying his performance. But when it becomes apparent that he is singing to Mercedes, bitchface Santana appears. Puck pulls Mercedes up to join him after the bridge.

[The Lady is a Tramp by Puck and Mercedes]

New Directions give Puck and Mercedes a standing ovation at the end, except for Santana.

= = =

The next day at glee rehearsal, Kurt, still dressed like a Finn wannabe walks up to Will.

"Alright, let's get things started." Will says.

"Mr. Schue? I'd like to start us off. I believe I've found a song that finally expresses my true voice." Kurt says, a slight twang in his voice.

"Okay." Will says hesitantly.

Kurt nods to the band. "Gentlemen."

Kurt sings "Pink Houses" and everyone just stares at him or look questioningly at each other, except for Brittany, who smiles and claps along.

[Pink Houses by Kurt]

New Directions clap half-heartedly at the end of the song.

Kurt sees the disappointed look on his teacher's face. "Is there something wrong, Mr. Schue?"

Will sighs. "I don't really think you got the point of the assignment. This was about finding a song that expresses who you are. That song didn't really sound like you."

"Well I'm sorry if I didn't live up to your expectations." Kurt bites.

Will shakes his head. "No no no. This group needs you to be you, Kurt. You can literally do things that no one else can."

"I'm not a box. There are more than four sides to me." Kurt snaps.

"Don't lose track of who you are just because it might be easier to be somebody else." Will says. Kurt heads towards the door. "Alright, take five, guys." Will says.

= = =

Violet has her hand up once they take their five-minute break and Kurt comes back to the choir room. She's changed out of her Cheerios uniform, and has put something more stylish on.

"Mr. Shue? I'd like to sing my song if that's okay." She says.

Will nods. "Go for it Violet." He says.

Violet hands sheet music to Brad and the band. The piano plays the opening chords and Violet begins singing.

Just stop your crying
It's a sign of the times
Welcome to the final show
Hope you're wearing your best clothes
You can't bribe the door on your way to the sky
You look pretty good down here
But you ain't really good

We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets
We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets

Just stop your crying
It's a sign of the times
We gotta get away from here
We gotta get away from here
Just stop your crying
It'll be alright
They told me that the end is near
We gotta get away from here

Just stop your crying
Have the time of your life
Breaking through the atmosphere
And things are pretty good from here
Remember everything will be alright
We can meet again somewhere
Somewhere far away from here

We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets
We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets

Just stop your crying
It's a sign of the times
We gotta get away from here
We gotta get away from here
Stop your crying
Baby, it will be alright
They told me that the end is near
We gotta get away from here

We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets
We never learn, we been here before
Why are we always stuck and running from
The bullets?
The bullets

We don't talk enough
We should open up
Before it's all too much
Will we ever learn?
We've been here before
It's just what we know

Stop your crying, baby
It's a sign of the times
We gotta get away
We got to get away
We got to get away
We got to get away
We got to get away
We got to, we got to
We got to, we got to
We got to, we got to

[Sign of the Times written by Violet Berry]
(all rights go to Harry Styles, but I figured Violet would've written it)

When Violet finishes singing, everyone is up on their feet with the exception of Artie and Rachel... but both are for different reasons.

Will is flabbergasted. "I... that was... wow!" He stutters. "Violet did you... did you write that?" He asks.

Violet nods. "I call it 'Sign of the Times.' I feel like it best describes me and my voice. And this is the first time I've ever performed a song I wrote." She answers.

Kurt sends Violet a smile and she smiles back before Finn starts talking to her.

"Violet... you have got to perform original songs more often. You're a kickass songwriter."

= = =

After getting home from glee practice, Kurt puts a 'do not disturb' type note on the handle to their bedroom door. Violet giggles gently as he carries her bridal style down the stairs. "What are you up to?" She asks.

Kurt smirks. "I was thinking maybe... we could try getting to second base?" Kurt asks.

Violet blushes. "Okay. But if one of us gets uncomfortable, we should have a safe word to use." She says.

Kurt nods and sits her on the sofa in their room. "What should it be?" He asks.

Violet thinks for a minute before answering. "Hold."

Kurt nods. "Okay. That's our safe word. Gimme just a minute to grab a few things." He says. He comes back with a few candles and sets them on the little coffee table a few feet away. He lights them up and sits on the sofa, beckoning Violet to come and sit with him.

Violet and Kurt slip their shoes off once she sits down next to him. She takes his hat off and kisses him, tossing the hat to Kurt's bed.

Kurt kisses back, and they continue to kiss for a few more seconds until Kurt is pushed back into the sofa by Violet, who's lips are still attached to his. There's a small battle for dominance as they explore each other's mouths, but Kurt is ultimately victorious. He sets his hands on Violet's hips, and he gently caresses her sides.

Violet takes it a step further by licking at Kurt's bottom lip, eliciting a moan from him. It was hot, but she didn't want to go any further than a make-out session. They're in the middle of their make-out session when Burt walks downstairs.

Burt's eyes widen. "Whoa. Am I interrupting something?" He asks. Violet flings herself off of her boyfriend and to the other end of the sofa, blushing from a bit of embarrassment.

Kurt chuckles. "You sure are." He says and sits up. He scoots over to Violet and puts his arm around Violet's shoulders.

Burt nods. "Okay, I'm confused. I came home to find this note on your doorknob: "Do not enter under any circumstances; I'm making out with a girl." I just thought it was the start of one of your murder mystery dinners." He says.

Kurt smirks a little. "Dad, I really need you to respect my privacy. Violet and I were just, uh, having sexual relations."

Violet blushes more. "W-We were just making out Burt. That's all we were doing I promise."

Burt smiles gently at Violet. "Hey. I'm not mad. I was kinda wondering when this kinda stuff would happen with you two." He says and motions for Kurt to follow him. Kurt gets up and leaves Violet on the couch.

"Kurt, uh, I've been sort of dealing for months with you being bisexual and everything, and now you're telling me that's not the case?"

Kurt smiles. "Dad, you and I have more in common than I would have thought. The flannel, the Mellencamp, the ladies." Kurt looks back at Violet and winks. She gives him a shy smile.

Burt looks back to Violet and gives her a fatherly smile. He looks back to Kurt. "Okay. Well, you're free to be whoever you are. You just let me know when you make up your mind, I'm gonna do the best I can. But I'm good either way. You kids be careful, alright? And then you gotta respect her, alright? If things get serious, you gotta use protection." He says and leaves before he can embarrass himself and the two teens any further.

Violet nearly dies of shock. "Trust me, we're not getting anywhere past second base."

= = =

That night while Kurt's showering, Violet goes upstairs and goes to sit next to Burt on the couch, who's watching a football game. He looks up and smiles when he sees her. "Hey. Is something up?" He asks.

Violet nods as she sits down. She fiddles with her hands. "Burt I'm sorry about earlier. I know you said not to close the door. But we didn't do anything past making out. We're not ready for that yet." She explains.

Burt smiles. "Well thank you for being honest with me. And it's okay. I should've knocked." He says. "Is something bothering you?" He finally asks.

Violet sighs. "It's Kurt. He's been acting... strange this week. He's dressing in clothes that he usually never wears, he's trying to act all macho, and he even sang a Mellencamp song in Glee Club. He won't tell me what's going on, but I think I know what it is."

"Tell me." Burt encourages.

"I think Kurt's jealous because you've been spending a lot of time with Finn lately. I know you're trying to bond with him and stuff, but I think Kurt feels left out." Violet explains.

Burt sighs. "Why doesn't he just tell me?"

"Kurt's one of those guys that you have to force the truth out of. He's not going to tell you on his own. I just don't know how much longer I can go with him acting like this. I just want my boyfriend back." Violet answers.

Burt gently hugs her. "Don't worry kiddo. We'll get to the bottom of this thing."

= = =

Mercedes and Santana start permorming "The Boy is Mine" while talking on the phone with each other though they're walking side-by-side in the hallway. Song continues in the choir room.

[The Boy is Mine by Mercedes and Santana]

Song ends in choirroom with the two fighting over Puck in a shoving match.

Will gets in between the girls. "Wow. That was intense."

Santana sneers. "Don't touch me."

"I'll step to it." Mercedes snaps.

Will is now talking over Mercedes and Santana. "Y'know I gotta give you guys props for the passion. Maybe hold back on the animosity a little alright."

Santana nods. "Okay. Yeah, I know, I know, I understand."

As Will turns away, Santana gives Mercedes a big shove. Will turns around immediately and grabs both girls.

"Hey hey hey, seriously! This ends now." Will says loudly.

Santana walks off. "Alright."

Mercedes glares at her retreating figure. "Talk to the stick figure."

"Please. Alright? You can go at it in song, but that is it." Will decides.

Santana smirks. "Enjoy it while you can, Weezy. His hair is already starting to grow back." She says before walking away.

Mercedes makes a move at her but Will grabs her.

"Calm down. Hey! Hey." Will says.

Santana leaves the choir room. Mercedes looks at Puck.

Violet doesn't understand why Mercedes and Santana have gotten into a fight over Puck of all people.

= = =

Burt sees Kurt and Violet walking down the hallway after rehearsal. "Hey, Kurt. Hey there kiddo." He greets.

Kurt turns around. "Dad. Hey."

Violet smiles. "Hey Burt."

"Finn caught a foul ball in the ninth so that means free hoagies at Lenny's Hoagies, and then half-price to the motocross tonight, so I promised I'd take him." Burt says.

Kurt looks upset. "Did you ever think that that might be something I wanted to do with you?"

Burt sighs. "Look, Kurt, Finn needs a buddy right now, okay? At the game, he got to talking about his dad, and, you know, his mom thinks it's a really good thing for him. Look, I promise you, we will hang out as much as you want, okay? Just not tonight." Burt says and walks away.

Kurt sings an altered version of "Rose's Turn" (Now titled "Kurt's Turn") after his father leaves and he lets go of Violet's hand. Song continues on auditorium stage. Kurt has magically changed into a much more flamboyant outfit. Kurt also has his name in lights behind him.

[Rose's Turn (Kurt's Turn) by Kurt]

Clapping can be heard from the seats as song ends. Lights go on, revealing Burt Hummel and Violet Berry.

"That was some serious singing, kid." Burt said.

Kurt fixes his hair. "That was 'Rose's Turn.'"

Burt nods. "I could get into that, maybe."

Kurt looks confused. "What happened to the hoagies?"

"Ah, blew it off. You know. Too much cholesterol." Burt says.

Kurt frowns a bit. "I bet Finn was disappointed."

Violet gives Kurt a gentle smile. "He understood. Once I told him how bent out of shape I thought you were."

Kurt looks offended. "Me? I'm fine." He lies. Violet puts her hands on her hips and gives him a 'seriously?' face.

Burt sighs. "Kurt, I'm dumb, but I'm not stupid. And I have no idea what that song was about, but "fine" don't sing like you just sung. Look. Maybe I got carried away doing stuff with Finn, but, you know, I told you this thing with you was going to be hard."

"Thing with me. You mean being bisexual." Kurt clarifies.

Burt nods. "Yeah. Being bisexual. Look, I will fight to the death for your right to love whoever you want, but when you were a little baby in my arms, did I dream about taking you to baseball games and talking about girls? Yeah, I did. A lot of fathers do."

Kurt sniffles a bit. "I had no idea how disappointing I was." He says and starts to walk away.

"Hey, come on. Now stop it right now. I'm talking straight to you. Don't go playing the victim. You know that's not what I mean." Burt says.

Kurt turns around, tears in his eyes. "I know. I'm sorry. I know you're working hard on yourself to make all this okay. Just seeing you, the way you are with Finn, how easy it is, breaks my heart."

Burt looks a little sad. "Is that why you were dressing differently, and singing Mellencamp?"

Kurt sighs. "I just want you to know that I'm going to work as hard as you to make this okay."

Burt puts his hands on his son's shoulders. "You don't have to work at anything, Kurt. Your job is to be yourself. And my job is to love you no matter what. Okay? That and a majority ownership in a tire store, that's all we got. Okay? We stick to that, we're going to be great."

Kurt tears up. "I missed you, Dad."

Burt smiles. "Oh, come here." He says and they hug. "I love you."

Kurt closes his eyes as he hugs Burt. "I love you too."

The Hummel boys pull out of the hug, and Burt sees Violet standing onstage, smiling with tears in her eyes. "I think you two need to talk for a minute. I'll see you guys at home." He says and walks out of the auditorium.

Kurt walks over to Violet. "I am so sorry baby. I... I just..." He can't finish his sentence as he chokes back a sob.

Violet wipes at cheeks with her thumbs. "Baby it's okay. Please do me a favor and never do anything like that again. You don't need to change for Burt, for me, or anyone else. You're perfect just as you are, Kurt. The person you are right now, this is my boyfriend." She says proudly and kisses his nose.

Kurt smiles and kisses her head. "What would I do without you?"

"You'd probably be dating Brittany."

= = =

Rachel and Sean sing the opening lines to "One" in Sean's bedroom before the scene cuts to New Directions performing the song on the auditorium stage.

[One by Sean, Rachel and New Directions]

Majority of song takes place on auditorium stage. Song ends in Sean's bedroom with Rachel and Sean doing final notes.

= = =

4247 words

Songs Mentioned/Performed
1. Jessie's Girl - Finn
2. The Lady is a Tramp - Puck and Mercedes
3. Pink Houses - Kurt
4. Sign of the Times - Violet
5. The Boy is Mine - Mercedes and Santana
6. Rose's Turn (Kurt's Turn) - Kurt
7. One - Sean, Rachel and New Directions

Wow you guys! We're at the last 4 episodes before the finale!

Next update is Dream On, which will be more of a filler chapter than anything since it's more focused on Will than the kids. After that is Theatricality.