Cesar's Pov

I can tell Tyler was not thrilled by what I just said she sits up, "So you are just going to forget the fact that I told you I love you?"

"Tyler." 

"What about me? You didn't even asked what I wanted about our relationship! What if I didn't want us to break up? What if I said that i wanted to still be your girlfriend while I was away?" 

"You are going to be with so many other people, Tyler. Making new friendships and other guys...-" 

"Stop. Are you fucking serious? You think that I will cheat?" 

I grab her hands, " We haven't been apart for that long Tyler or that far... I'm not saying you will cheat. Im trying to say that feelings can change and maybe we only feel this strongly is because we are always by each other's side. Like fuck we were away from each other from a month and its was a lot for me." 

"It was hard for me too." 

"So you really want to go through it again?" 

"If it means I can be with you? YES. Because again, I love you... But i feel like you don't... or at least not as much as me... Don't think I haven't picked up on the fact you haven't said it back to me." 

I look down at my hands, "I don't know what to say." I can't say it, not when Im unsure of what will become of us. She looks at me pained. She doesn't say a word at first. She looks off where the rest of my family is, "So what does this mean for our Senior year? We can't just pretend we didn't just have this talk."  

" I really don't know..." I say helplessly. 

"Well... if you don't know then... I don't know why I'm here." 

"Oh come on Ty-" I say as I try to get to her. She pushes me away lightly causing me to sit back down. 

"At least say you are possibly starting to have those feelings.... Or... Do you know even feel like you are starting to?" I look at her blankly. She sighs heavily, "Listen Ceasar, you may want to live in the world where the future doesn't exist but it does. I understand you wanting to live in the moment but you need to start thinking what do you see your life becoming. I want you in my life but it's clear that you are set to not be in mine. If you don't start making your own decisions others will make it for you and you will have no one to blame but yourself if you are unhappy with how it turns out. You know where I stand. I want us to stay together senior year and I still want to date you while i'm away. But now knowing that you don't feel the same way at this point, I don't know if I want to... It seems like a waste of time..." 

My heart aches at her words, "A waste of time? How can you say that?" It was the first time she has said something to me that was hurtful to me. 

She doesn't say anything at first and then sits back down almost in a pouting stance, "I want to go home." silent tears escape her face as she aggressively wipes them. 

I sigh heavily, "Yeah, okay." As I row her back to shore. I glance at my family who are trying their hardest to not be in our business but know themselves well enough to know that was never going to happen. 

When we reach land she immediately gets out and walks back inside. I watch her leave just replaying in my mind where it all went wrong. 

"What the hell just happened?" asks R.J. as he comes up behind me with Adrian by his side. 

"I ... I.... I don't really know." I say finally. 

Adrian takes a deep breath, "Cesar, I love you but if you say I don't know and other time. I will kick you so hard you going to wish-" 

"Are you guys done?" R.J. Interrupts. 

I pause for a moment and look back at the direction Tyler just left, "I think so." 

"Hold up what was exactly said?" 

"Guys just stay out of it!" I say annoyed. My parents and the rest of the family start making their way to shore. 

"What going on?" Asks my mother as she helps bonnie out of the canoe. 

"How can we when you are purposely ruining it!" Adrian yells at him. 

"I'm not!" I rub my neck, "I'm tired of everyone saying i'm not doing enough!' 

My father breaks his way into the crowd. 

"Because you aren't!" Adrian yells at him.

 Emma grabs Adrian back, "Would you quit it Adrian? You're doing too much!" 

My father looked at Riccardo and immediately Riccardo pushed through the crowd and grabbed me by the arm and walked away with me, "Let's talk." 

Immediately scared for my life I look over at my father who just waves at me with a smile on his face.  Immediately my heart sank. What is going to happen to me?! We go inside and Riccardo lets go of my arm, "Tyler where are you?" He calls out. 

"What are you doing?" I said to him annoyed. He glares at me and immediately I shut up and look at the ground. 

"Tyler!!" He yells again. She comes out of the shadows and slowly walks up to us both. She definitely looks like she has been crying. "Both of you have a seat." We both make our way to couch like little children who are about to be whipped. She sits beside me and uncomfortably shifts. Uncle Ricky crosses his arms and just looks at us both for what felt like forever. My father, my mother, and Aunt Tammy comes into the room and takes a back seat and just listens.

I clear my throat, "Uncle Ricky-" 

"Stop. I don't know whats wrong with young people today.  You talk so damn much but when its actually time to say something worth a damn you clam up like you gone and dipped your balls in some snow." 

Tyler turns bright red and looks like a deer in head lights. 

"Now Cesar...." He sits directly across from me. I sit up a a little more and take a deep breath. One thing about Uncle Ricky is that is more intimidating than my father. "I want you to look at Tyler." I stare at him confused. He lightly slaps my face, "Look at her God Damn it!" I turn to her our eyes barely meet. "And scoot closer you guys have fucked haven't you?" 

"God Damnit Riccardo." My mother says annoyed.  She looks at my father. "Aren't you going to step in?" Tyler choked on her spit and starts to have a coughing fit.  My father in the back shakes his head and grabs some water for Tyler. Aunt Tammy grabs some wine out of the fridge and pours glasses for her and my mother. 

"No we haven't..." I grumbled in a whispering tone as Tyler composes herself. Riccardo pauses, "Well we can't discuss that part later- Tyler..." She immediately looks up at attention practically shaking. I can tell she is terrified of him. I want to hold her hand. "Tell Cesar how he hurt you." 

She doesn't say anything at first. Her hands shaking clasped tight around one another. I scoot closer to her and place my hand on her leg. She looks up at me almost about to cry again. 

"Its okay. Tell me what I did." I assure her. I can tell she is calming down and she begins to speak, " I feel hurt because when I told you I loved you. You didn't give me an answer."  She pauses for a moment. I rub her leg as she tries to give herself a moment. " I don't know what to do. If you say no you didn't feel the same way then I can heal from that and move on but i'm stuck in this weird space of waiting for you."  I nod taking in what she said, "Im also mad that you decided for the both of us that you rather call it quits because you didn't see us staying together because of my internship. It made me feel like I wasn't worth fighting for. You tell me that you can be yourself around me that you can tell me anything but now you're struggling? Were you lying and you just said that shit because it's good to hear or is it true? I feel like I will do anything to be with you but you won't do the same... and that thought hurts so much. " 

My mother sighs heavily and leans into my father, he wraps his arms around her and rubs the side of arm.  

"Did you get all that Cesar?" Uncle Ricky asks me. I nod swallowing a big knot in the middle of my throat. I meet her eyes and all I see is hurt and pain. Where did it all go wrong? " I feel.... Embarrassed..." Tyler straightens herself out and takes a deep breath. I start to feel the tears coming. I start wiping my eyes. 

"For what?" Asks Uncle. 

"I just... People usually come to me for advice and looks like I need more help than I realized." 

Uncle Riccardo puts his arms around me, "You are a pain in the ass like your dad.  I think you  try your hardest to hurt people. I don't think you intentionally meant hurt Tyler and I don't want to speak her Tyler but would it be safe to say that you know Cesar would never do anything to purposely hurt you?" 

Tyler nods vigorously she grabs my hands in hers and smiles in a way that is soft but almost strained considering the circumstances. 

"But Cesar, you are going to hurt people whether you want to not. You actions indirectly affect those around you for better or for worse. And when you can't be honest with yourself and those around you. It can lead to misunderstanding and hurt. And as a person in a relationship you need to be able to be honest about your worries and fears and bring them to light. Your father had to deal with that went he met your mother and I had to do that with you aunt back when we officially were together in college. In accepting that you will hurt even the ones you care about the most, in return she can potentially hurt you. Tell her how she has hurt you."

I sigh heavily, "It feels weird saying it to her."

"Don't is no reason why you need to hold on to it. Let it go." 

I sigh again and shift uncomfortably, " I felt hurt when you said that dating me was a waste of time. You were said in knowing how I felt which you technically didn't... Said that it seems like a waste of time to stick around... I know I shared with you that I can be myself with you and tell you a lot about my thoughts and feelings, but... that moment that I shared that with you was huge for me. The day at the pumpkin patch when I asked you to be my girlfriend. It took me a long time to finally get to say it. If I wasn't so stuck in my head I know I would have asked you out my Freshman year of college. As i shared... My family means everything to me but I feel like an outcast. Hell if it wasn't for my dad being like me I would have thought I was adopted. I know you wanted me to think for into the future and Ironically enough I normally do. But with this... i didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to know your future if it didn't involve me. I didn't know that it would involve me. I felt like I was being rushed and forced to give you an answer in the moment when I don't process things like that. I felt like I was being put on the spot when I haven't fully come to grasp that I may actually be in lo-" I catch myself in mid sentence. Holy shit. My heart starts beating twice as fast now. 

Tyler's eyes widened. My mother covers her mouth in shock as Tammy smiles looking at my mother's reaction. Uncle Riccardo whispers, " May actually be in what Cesar?" He says with a sheepish grin. This son of a bitch. 

"I think that Cesar can handle the rest from here." My father says as he places his hand on Uncle Ricky's shoulder. "Right Cesar?" 

I nod they all leave the room leaving me and Tyler alone my hands are still in hers as she looks more at ease now. I scoot in more so that our legs are literally touching practically intertwined. I kiss her hands and look up at her. "I... love you too." She practically leaps onto me and kisses me as she grabs the hair on my the nape of my neck. I fully embrace her. I pull away after a moment, "Im sorry it took so long." 

"No, Im sorry that I rushed it. I should have accepted the fact you weren't ready. I'll be more patient next time. I was just so scared because of the internship. I couldn't get it out of my mind. When I get anxious about something I want the problem to be dealt with so I can be at ease and I forget some people don't work that way. And also, i was wondering what was taking you so long to ask me out. " She chuckles softly.

"Yeah, i don't know what I was thinking either.... So are you sure you want us to continue even when you're traveling?" 

"Yes, for the 1000th time. I want to stay with you. I know you are still worried and ill be fine with that. I hope that this next year together will make you more confident in us that you can see this working out." I nod, " And also, Say if we did break up in midst of it. I would still be glad we tried because at least we tried and I don't have to wonder what if things could have worked out. Ya know?" 

"Yeah I understand what you're saying...." 

"Soooo......"  I look at her confused. "Do you want to date after graduation or not?" 

I laugh and pull her in tightly. She looks at me with squinty eyes like I should know better after all this, "Yes, Tyler, I want to still date you after college because I want to be with you. No matter what it takes." 

She kisses me again softly her hand caresses my face as I deepen the kiss. I dig my fingers in her hair as she wraps her arms around me. She pulls away, "And one more thing... Im sorry i didn't tell you sooner about it. I thought about and I wish I did tell you. I was just nervous that you would take it as making plans that don't include you but i guess you already thought that way regardless so. We are a couple and Anything that involves my future I should be telling you. You shouldn't be one of the last people to know."

"I appreciate that but it's not only because of that but because I would have supported you in it.  I would have been so excited and would have thrown a party or something if I would have known. How long have you been worried about the internship and I didn't know it?" 

"Now I feel dumb. God I don't know why I was so worried." She takes a moment to just sit in silence, "Also, Your Uncle is-" 

"Oh yeah not going to lie I was a bit terrified. He has never done that." 

"But still as much as in the moment it might not feel that way. They clearly love you and I hope that even when you don't feel like you belong. You think of moments like these where they want to see you succeed and be happy." 

"Yeah... Speaking of which they are probably waiting outside painfully waiting for us to see if we reconciled. I don't think i'm ready to show my face." 

She stands up and offers her hand. I grab it and we go out side together.