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24. I Wanna Know Who You Are

Things were different in this new Enchanted Forest. When the Evil Queen had finally cast her curse in the old one, Calliope had used one of her magic beans to get out fast. She had no interest in being sucked into a land without magic, so she'd wished for an adventure and found herself in one of the alternate realms.

At first, it had been fun. She'd never explored this version of the legends before. For years, she'd traveled the lands on her own, drifting from place to place without purpose and without problem. It helped her forget the past.

She'd not spoken to Killian since they'd parted in Neverland, but tales of Captain Hook had been easy to come by back in the old realm. The last she'd heard of him, he'd been off working for the Evil Queen, helping her cast the curse. Then the curse had happened. For all she knew, he had been swept away to the Land Without Magic, able to at last exact his revenge on Rumplestiltskin.

Here, though, she'd had a blank slate. Calliope knew only one thing about this New Enchanted Forest, that it was where Mother Gothel had scurried off to after destroying the magic in the Land Without Magic. Calliope had no intention of coming across that nymph, so with that in mind, she kept her eyes and ears open.

Night had fallen a few hours previous as Calliope wandered down the forest road she'd been taking for days. Rain muddied the deep grooves in the ground from frequent carriages, little puddles forming in the crevices and making it difficult to navigate. The rain had started an hour ago. Calliope looked up, shading her eyes against the droplets, and tried to catch some glimpse of the sky.

She saw nothing but a thick, black blanket of clouds. Calliope sighed. She looked back down the path. A faint glow spilled out of windows in what looked to be a tavern. She increased her pace.

When she opened the door to the tavern, it surprised her how calm it was. There were only about ten patrons, a few playing a round of darts and others enjoying food and drink. She made a beeline for the counter.

"An ale and whatever food is hot, please," she said. Calliope dropped some coins on the counter. "Thank you."

It didn't take long for the robust older man to bring it out. With her food on a wooden plate and alcohol in her left hand, she turned back towards the seats. Her heart dropped.

She recognized the man in the corner nursing a bottle, instantly. His hair had a touch of grey and he slouched a bit more, but it was the same man. Calliope didn't even need to see the hook that replaced his left hand to know.

"Killian?" she said, breathless.

He looked up. The same sea blue eyes she'd known so well widened as he saw her. "Muse?"

Calliope wasted no time in sitting across from him. She didn't say much; she couldn't. All she could do was look at him there, alone and in pain.

"This is a bloody trick," he said. Killian shook his head and pointed at her. "You're dead."

"What? No, I came to this realm after the curse was cast." She noticed his eyes narrow and she stopped. "Why do you think I'm dead?"

Killian leaned back in his seat, wincing a bit at the motion. "For starters, the curse was never bloody cast. I ended up here when the Queen failed. So you're lying."

She didn't respond. Calliope just watched him there, Killian wincing with each movement. Anger and a deep sadness settled into his features as he took another drink.

"Besides, you're dead." He pointed at her again. "The Crocodile killed you. So either you're from the rum," he said, holding up his drink, "or the poison that bloody witch put on my heart."

"What witch?"

He slammed his tankard back on the table. "Gothel."

Calliope couldn't breathe. He had the same fiery anger, but more distressing, Killian had met Mother Gothel. She was still in this realm. She was here. "I assure you, Killian, I am not Mother Gothel. If you'll trust me," she added, "I think I can prove to you I am quite real."

"Aye? And how do you intend to do that?" he demanded.

"A spell."

"Of course," he muttered.

But Killian didn't protest further, so Calliope took it as permission. She closed her eyes. With a deep breath, she tried to think of a time when she'd been with her sisters, at peace. A calmness settled over her as she forced the noises of the tavern from her mind. Clio had taught her how to access memories. It had been many years since she'd had cause to try it, though.

"Take my hand," she said, eyes still closed.

It took a few moments before she felt his rough palm in hers. Concentrating, Calliope reached into the part of herself where her sisters still resided and used that joy to bridge the gap to Killian. Images flashed before her eyes. She saw many things, not least of which was her body, but not hers, splayed out on the floor of a dark castle, bloodied and beaten.

Pain tore through her mind. Killian's pain. She saw the Evil Queen at the Jolly Roger, a tossing sea, and then a tower and a garden. A fair maiden and golden flowers passed before her eyes and then finally, the cries of a tiny child.

She couldn't breathe as more images rapidly passed by her. The princess turned into Gothel, a face Calliope would never forget. More pain, as Killian found himself looking down into the face of a baby girl. She could feel the love in his heart as the girl grew older in the visions. He wanted to free her. But his pride got in the way, and she felt the pain of a bullet as it grazed his arm.

That pain could not compare to the sheer agony that ripped through her body when his daughter, Alice, drew close. Calliope let go of Killian, the spell breaking as she struggled to catch her breath. Her hand shook. Calliope grabbed at her chest, willing the pain in her heart to cease. She looked up at him.

"Seems we both were right," she struggled to say, trying to regain composure. "You're not from my realm, though it seems you and my Killian had stories the same until the curse."

Killian didn't respond at first. He gritted his teeth against the pain that he felt as well. With another drink, he tried to focus. "Can you help, then?"

"With what?"

"Cure my heart, please," he begged. Killian struggled against tears. "The witch, she cursed me and my daughter. Alice can't leave that tower, and now I can never return."

Calliope nodded. "I can try."

She reached across the table, holding her hand over his heart. Closing her eyes, Calliope used her magic to feel it, to feel what had harmed him. She grimaced. It felt like someone had coated his heart in slime. Her hand shook, a feeling like pins and needles spreading from the tips of her fingers up her arm until she hissed in pain and drew back.

"That's strong magic," she said. "I can't. Not now, at least."

Killian drowned himself in more alcohol. Seemed both Killians had a penchant for drinking away their troubles. She looked at him closer. He didn't meet her gaze.

"Tell me about her," Calliope said.

He glanced up. "Who?"

"Alice."

Calliope wanted to hear everything about this Killian, if she were honest with herself. Seeing him there, for the first time in centuries not with bloodlust in his eyes... it didn't matter to her he was a different person. They shared the same memories of the same events, to a point, even if his Calliope had been different than her. She didn't know how the split had happened, but alternate realms were fickle things, not always comprehensible. What she did know was that what she'd felt when seeing his memories had been real, as had the love she'd experienced him feeling for his daughter.

"She's wonderful," he said, breaking into a small smile for the first time since she'd found him in that tavern. Killian ran his finger around the edge of his cup. "Brilliant, creative. A bloody miracle." After a pause, he looked down at the table and shook his head. "How she came from me and that witch, I'll never know."

"I know you, Killian," Calliope said. "It may have been a different version of you, but you shared his destiny until the curse. I'll tell you what I, she," she corrected, thinking of the other version of herself, "said back then. You have a good heart, even if you refuse to believe it."

"It's my fault she's stuck in that bloody tower!" He shook his head. "I told her I would never abandon her, not like my father did to me. Now she's alone."

Calliope's heart broke. She grabbed his hand in a moment of impulse, wishing he would accept her pity as he had never done before. But he pulled back. She closed her eyes.

"This was hers."

Calliope opened her eyes. Killian ran his fingers over a chess piece, a black rook that glinted in the light of the candles and fireplaces. As he explained their love of chess, that she held on to a white knight to remember him by, her heart continued to break. By the end, he was almost in tears, the booze and the ache of loneliness taking control.

"Take me there," she said.

He glanced up. "What?"

"To the tower." Calliope shook her head, finishing the last drop of her drink. "I couldn't cure your heart but maybe I can stop the spell."

"You'll try?"

She smiled. "Of course I'll try."

Killian wasted no time. He shot up from the table, grabbing his weapons and strapping them on his body even as he moved towards the door. It took Calliope a moment to get herself together before she followed. The rain had stopped. The puddles on the ground made her boots sink into the mud and she grimaced.

"How far is it?" Calliope asked.

He shook his head. "A few days' journey."

"Is Gothel still there?" she asked.

Killian turned to her. With a glare, he just sneered. "If she is, I'll kill her."

That was the Killian she remembered. Calliope grimaced, not surprised he wanted to kill Gothel, but she knew enough about the woman to know he couldn't do it. She was too powerful. Calliope wasn't certain she could kill Gothel either. But she had hope.

After an hour of walking mostly in silence, only the slosh of his alcohol and the squelching of their boots to make any noise around them, Killian paused in his step. He'd been walking ahead of her. But as Calliope caught up, he turned to her.

"I went to find you," Killian started. "Or, her." He grimaced, correcting himself. "Back when the witch first trapped my daughter. I crossed realms, trying to find you."

Calliope looked at him. Anger, sadness, in the dark she couldn't quite tell what Killian was feeling other than that. For a moment, she wondered if that was perhaps all he felt those days. "You found her dead?"

"Aye." Killian stopped walking. "The Crocodile. His castle lay empty, as he'd been captured by Snow White and Prince Charming. I went to see if you'd help me, despite..." Again, he fell quiet. His hand shook as he took a drink. Then he met her gaze. "I know you aren't the same as she, but our paths were the same. Since she's dead, I will say this to you. Having a daughter made me think hard about my life. And I need to apologize."

She smiled. This Killian may not have been the one to try to kill her back in Neverland, but he had the same memories. All she'd wanted was for him to find peace, and though it seemed fate had cruelly ripped that away, at least he had some happiness. He had a daughter, even if separated.

"Let's free your daughter, Killian. Alice deserves her father."

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