The next time I saw Markus, he was sitting behind the run down reception desk at the gym, his laptop out as he typed away in silence. He didn't glance in my direction as the heavy door swung shut behind me with an audible click.

I was here early today. After my lunch with Sarah, I had gone back to the flat alone. The silence of our empty home had been suffocating, and while usually I loved to spend time by myself, it had left me feeling restless. I hadn't known what to do with myself and had been in no mood to do any university work.

Roman had told me to visit him at the Tattoo studio. But it felt wrong to for the two previously separate aspects of my life to collide so succinctly. Somehow, despite my best efforts to remove myself completely from the past, from Jun, from Wraith, it felt as if I was no further from them than I had been a year ago. Everyone notable in my life barring Sarah had connections to them.

And, with Quinn's recent visit to the flat, and our almost daily texts, and Jun's appearance at both the café and the gym, already they were creeping back into my day-to-day life. But it felt different to go back to the studio, a place I had spent most of my time back when I lived with them.

Instead, because I was more cowardly than I liked to admit, I headed to the gym early. My intention had been to go find Dev and chat to him for a bit, and maybe see if he was available to train with me, so I didn't have to bother Markus later. But at the sight of Markus already here, on his personal laptop and most likely doing University work instead of anything for the gym, I gravitated towards him automatically.

Leaning against the counter, I loudly placed my phone and coffee cup on the top, and instantly Markus' head shot up.

"Hey, welcome to RK Gy- Daisy." Markus cut himself off at the sight of me, his eyebrows raised.

"Hi," I greeted, smiling wildly, amused by the sound of his deadpan customer service voice.

"Ah... Hi," he said, glancing down and tapping on the screen of his phone to check the time. As he did so, I noticed the back nail varnish neatly painted on his right hand and sucked in an abrupt, startled breath. "You're early."

"Why are your nails painted?" I asked, a little too sharply.

"What?" Markus frowned. He flexed his hand, muttering, "Oh, that. Roman said he needed to practise for uni."

I wasn't an idiot. I remembered clearly that I had once told Roman I found men with painted nails hot - and that hadn't been a lie. Though, I hadn't thought Roman would pay much mind to a statement meant only to chastise a classmate who clearly had an issue with his own masculinity. I was almost certain Roman and done this intending to tease me. He knew how attractive I already found Markus, and he'd had plenty of fun teasing me about such a thing lately, even after that uncomfortable moment between us in the library.

Fuck you, Roman.

"He said he needed to practise nail painting on you... for uni? Did he paint anyone else's nails?" What bloody project for an illustration degree required painting the nails of attractive men I had slept with?

Markus shrugged. "I don't know. Didn't ask."

Fuck me. If the sight of him typing away on his laptop with his black fingernails wasn't the most attractive thing I'd seen all month, then I didn't know what was.

"When did he even do this? Your nails weren't painted this morning."

"He was here at lunch before he went to work."

I narrowed my eyes at him, but thankfully, he was no longer looking at me. I was going to have to have a serious word with Roman.

Clearing my throat, I shuffled around the desk to situate myself beside him in a spare chair. Besides tensing, he didn't react to my presence. "What are your shifts? I've never seen you here at this time before."

"Covering for Shivanya," he grunted, keeping his focus on his laptop. Of course, Shivanya, the usual receptionist, was on maternity leave.

"You haven't found anyone to replace her yet? What about that guy that was here last night? Is he new? I haven't seen him before." I asked, pulling out my sketchbook. While I was here, I might as well get some work done, instead of distracting Markus from his. He turned to look at me, frowning. "He looked young. Is he a uni student?"

"He's too young for you," he said gruffly.

My mouth dropped open. What the fuck? "I didn't mean it like that!" I exclaimed, laughing in outrage. "I was just making conversation, jeez."

Markus huffed. "He's on evenings. We haven't hired a day temp yet."

"Cool," I said, still watching him. He said nothing else. An excel document was open on his laptop but he wasn't typing anything, just scrolling slowly down the page, his mouse hovering over all the little boxes. Whatever work he was doing looked dull as fuck.

My motivation to do University work still hadn't changed since I'd arrived at the gym, but whatever Markus was doing seemed important, and I didn't want to annoy him. So I forced myself to sit there with my sketchbook open as I finished the last few designs I had been working on in the studio earlier. Typically, I found it difficult to focus unless I had the stress of an imminent deadline. I would often get distracted on my phone and forget what I was supposed to be doing. Markus' company provided an element of pressure to focus on myself so as not to bother him.

We spent the next ten minutes alongside each other in silence. The only sounds between us were the tapping of Markus' keyboard or the sound of my pencil against paper. It was nice. It was peaceful. Strangely, I didn't feel the need to fill the silence with any of my usual ramblings. If this was what studying with Markus was like, then I'd be more than happy to do this every week. Roman and I had thus far been unsuccessful in our project progress. We often distracted one another or lost track of time.

The inner doors between the gym floor and the reception swung open, and a short, muscled guy stalked through. There was a gym bag slung over his shoulder and a water bottle in his hand. He looked over towards us, uttered a polite 'thanks', and made his way out of the main doors. Markus said nothing in response, but nodded his recognition in the guy's direction and returned to his work. This receptionist work was mind-numbingly boring, and I was certain there was supposed to be more to it than just sitting here and greeting customers.

With my head resting in my hand as I leant into the desk, I observed Markus with a smile that curled across my mouth. He was sitting properly in his chair, facing his laptop, while I slouched where I sat with one foot curled beneath my thigh, facing him. I mused, "You're a really quiet person," I stated, thinking of the few times I'd been with him around other people - even his friends. He wasn't one to input much into a group conversation. The only time I'd heard him speak more than a sentence was when we were alone.

As if he had forgotten I was here, Markus twisted his head abruptly, his eyes meeting mine for a fleeting second before falling just below my chin, and then to my open sketchbook out on the desk.

"Around others, at least; I don't notice it much when it's just us. Unlike me. I feel like I talk too much sometimes. Sarah - my flatmate - is the same. Sometimes we rant at each other for hours." Boldly, I added, "You avoid eye contact, too, I've noticed. You weren't this reserved when we first met."

When we had first met in the bar, Markus had been more than confident enough. He met my eyes without wavering, and his entire approach to our flirting had been bold. He hadn't been cocky, though, merely sure of himself and comfortable in his own skin. To where it had almost been overwhelming. There was nothing of that man in this moment - but I found myself not minding all that much. Knowing this side of him as well felt more intimate somehow.

"I don't like talking to strangers, or in large groups," Markus confessed, proving me correct as he avoided any prolonged eye contact and turned back to his laptop again, his shoulders hunching forward.

"Is it an anxiety thing?" How he behaved reminded me of Sarah when she was around people she didn't feel close to, and I had suspected something similar in Markus' behaviour earlier today on campus.

"Sure," he answered offhandedly.

I hesitated before asking my next question, steeling myself against the possibilities of his answer. "Is that a yes or are you being dismissive 'cause you're uncomfortable?"

"Both. I don't know." He dipped his head and rubbed the back of his neck. He certainly looked uncomfortable thanks to my prying questions. I had perhaps pushed his boundaries too far. "I don't talk about this with people. The guys know how I get, so they don't get offended if I'm quiet when we're around others."

"Oh," I breathed, my hands twisting together on top of the counter. "If-" I cleared my throat and looked away, my chest feeling tight. "If I'm ever bothering you, or making you uncomfortable, I want you to know you can just tell me. I won't be offended." It would probably feel like my heart's being ripped out, but you don't need to know that.

The thought of overstepping in such a way with Markus was upsetting. And now I would be cautious not to bring this up again unless he addressed it first.

"Okay."

So he felt uncomfortable around me right now. Okay. That's fine.

"Okay? 'Okay', as in you want me to leave right now?" I asked in a rushed tone, already reaching for my sketchbook with one hand and my backpack with the other.

It seemed narcissistic of me to be upset if Markus felt uncomfortable around me. It wasn't his fault. We'd hardly spent much time together, after all. He didn't know me very well. It wasn't fair to judge him by how comfortable I felt around him when I didn't experience anxiety in the ways he did.

The sound of Markus' quiet laughter had me freezing. He was smiling at me, grinning actually, a wide tooth baring grin that had his cheeks dimpling and my breath catching. "Okay, I'll tell you if you bother me. Stay." He tipped his chin upwards, gesturing towards the sketchbook just beyond my outstretched hand. "Can I see?"

Swallowing around the large knot that had developed in my throat, I nodded mutely, sliding the book towards him. Automatically, my fingers fiddled with the gold chain around my neck, and I couldn't sit still as I repositioned myself in the chair.

"These are good," Markus murmured, flicking through the pages. I warmed at the compliment. "This for uni?"

"Yeah. I'm, ah, doing a project on the depiction of the human body throughout history, with a focus on the male gaze and the objectification of the female form by different artists across the various disciplines."

"Right." Markus blinked at me, glanced back at the sketchbook in his hands, and looked up at me again with furrowed brows. "Pretty fucking cool."

"Thanks. It's just a lot of studying old statues at the moment. Then I'll move on to paintings and shit. Photography, performance art, porn. Don't know what the final piece is going to be, but I'm thinking of maybe incorporating some text in - Barbara Kruger style - maybe even some collage stuff that I'll work over digitally."

Markus made a small choking sound in the back of his throat. "Porn?"

"Yup." I nod, mouth twisted in not quite a smile as I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. Had he not heard anything else I said after that? "Do you want to see some of my other work? I have an art account on Insta where I post everything. Do you have Instagram?"

***

"No, move your arm like this," Markus directed in a tight voice. His large hands gripped my forearm and moved it tighter around his neck. "That's it. Now the other hand, where I showed you."

Markus grunted a little, and I felt his shoulder hunch forward a little. My body followed the movement, pulled forward by my arms that remained tightly around him. He was on his knees, while I pressed up against him from behind, trying my best to do as he instructed. Sweat was dripping distractingly down my back, and I was panting an embarrassing amount.

This was only my second time training with him, though the first time had been far more relaxed and easy-going, perhaps because we had had an audience back then. Today, with the only other occupants of the gym being other people dedicated to their own training, there felt like more privacy to the session.

"You need to be tighter," Markus rasped out, his voice sounding strange and not at all like someone who I should strangle more.

"Are you sure?" I said, dubiously.

Despite being literally choked, Markus seemed remarkably composed. Unlike me, he didn't seem to be out of breath and other than a bit of colour in his cheeks, one could mistake this as relaxing for him. I readjusted my grip, my palm against the back of his head, and applied more pressure. Slowly, his cheeks flushed a deeper pink, until eventually, Markus was tapping against my forearm.

I let him go instantly, moving too quickly and falling back onto my arse.

"Did I do it right?" I asked eagerly, feeing a rush of excitement.

Markus shifted off of his knees, mirroring my position with his legs splayed out in front of him. Despite his anxiety, I had noticed he didn't seem at all uncomfortable training me in the middle of the gym. While we were the only people on the mats, there were quite a few people using the various equipment around the room. Perhaps, here at the gym, he felt comfortable enough not to worry. He had mentioned before that he taught some classes here.

"Yeah. You do that long enough, and your opponent will pass out." He rubbed a hand against his neck, and I noticed how pale his fingers looked against the blood-rushed pink of his face and neck.

I grinned, feeling a sick sense of achievement. "Amazing. What if someone's doing that to me? How do I get out of it?"

"If they're doing it correctly, you probably can't." He must have seen something drop in my expression, because he was quick to continue. "It's unlikely anyone's going to try a Rear-Naked Choke on you, though."

"You never know these days, there's some real freaks out there," I said half-seriously, my voice a little tight - because the idea of someone trying to choke me out was now locked in my mind. The point of training was to ease my fears of being attacked, not exasperate them. I didn't want to learn more ways in which someone could leave me completely helpless.

Markus bit his lip, the action doing very little to hide his smile. He thought I was being ridiculous, no doubt.

Crossing my arms against my chest, I nodded firmly. "I'm serious. One day, you're just walking along on your way back from Tesco's, the next second someone's choking you and your eggs are smashed on the pavement."

"The poor eggs," Markus said, tone flat, and reached for his near empty bottle of water. Oh, he definitely thought I was being ridiculous. He was adamant as he assured, "No one's going to choke you."

What if I asked you nicely?

I shook my head, ignoring him. "Think of all the cakes I could have baked with those eggs."

"Well, you'll be dead, or kidnapped in this scenario, so you wouldn't be baking anything anyway," he said matter-of-factly.

I reached out and lightly shoved him on the shoulder in light outrage. He barely even moved against the assault. His core strength must be insane. "Great. Thanks for your confidence in me. I reckon I could definitely escape."

"I'd be surprised."

I rolled my eyes, picking at the material of my shorts as I repeated his words in a mocking tone under my breath. I'm sure he'd feel guilty if I ever got kidnapped or murdered now.

"Are we done for today?" I'd caught my breath back now, and I didn't feel so hot and sweaty. But I definitely didn't have enough energy left to go through anything else. While my sessions with Dev had always required a lot of energy, these sessions with Markus were going to leave me absolutely aching. I could already tell just from the ache I was already feeling in my abs and my arms.

"Yeah," Markus said, though it didn't seem like we were done. He was staring at me, frowning.

"What?"

"I've been thinking."

"Okay?"

"Why did you ignore Roman's messages when you were avoiding me?"

"What?"

"When you were avoiding me, after the Jarred instance, you avoided Roman, too. He said he didn't hear from you all weekend, he was worried, he even walked by the cafe to see if you were working."

"I don't work weekends."

"I know."

I cleared my throat and looked away, squinting my eyes across the room as I tried to formulate a response.

"I-" I stretched out my arms and looked away, my hand finding my necklace to play with the chain absentmindedly. Sighing deeply, I explained in a voice that was too timid to sound like my own, "My mental health isn't the best sometimes."

My stomach turned as my chest tightened. A lump formed in the back of my throat. Nobody liked a deep conversation about someone else's mental health, and I didn't want to irritate Markus with any of my issues. We weren't close enough for that. He didn't want to know.

I shrugged my shoulders half-heartedly. "That's it, really. I just get in a shitty headspace sometimes. And, instead of dealing with it in a healthy way, I turn into a little bitch who ignores everyone and everything," I explained with a strained laugh, to lighten the mood. It felt like a weird place to be explaining this - in the middle of the gym on a Tuesday evening.

When I glanced back at Markus, though, I didn't see any evidence that he was judging me. He sat there patiently, his expression earnest as he waited for me to finish.

"I didn't leave my flat that weekend because I was feeling shitty and the thought of stepping outside was too overwhelming. My friend came to check I was still alive, though. They brought me some food and watched TV with me, so I couldn't wallow for too long. So... If I ever disappear for a few days, it's normal. You can tell Roman he doesn't need to worry."

"Okay," Markus said simply.

That was it? That's all he had to say?

He stood and held out a hand towards me. I hesitated for only a few seconds before I allowed him to pull me up until we stood far too close to one another.

My hand was still clasped in his when he dipped his head to align with mine. Softly, and with far too much intensity in his gaze, he murmured, "If you're ever feeling that way, and you want food or company, just call me, yeah?"

"Uh, yeah, okay. Thanks." I laughed awkwardly and took a step away, my heart beating violently against my chest. It was ridiculous to - after one mere sentence - suddenly feel so off-balance around him when we had spent the last hour wrapped around one another and sweaty.

Markus coughed and rubbed the back of his neck. He looked flushed as he checked the digital watch on his wrist as he asked, "You goin' home now?"

"Roman wants me to go see him at work."

"At the studio." He nodded, his thick brows furrowing slightly.

"Yeah," I breathed.

"It's not that far. I'll walk you." He paused, and added as an afterthought, "Unless Jun or someone is meeting you."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't have to walk me everywhere, you know?"

Markus cocked his head and fixed a narrowed eyed stare on me. With one brow arched, he asked with far too much attitude to his tone, "Do you like walking alone in the dark?"

The answer was obvious. No, I didn't enjoy walking around Thorpefield in the dark, knowing just who was out there. I wasn't sure that was something I would ever overcome.

My voice was quiet and resigned as I confessed, "No, I don't."

"Then I'm walking you," he said with finality, and all I could do was nod in agreement. He jerked his head towards the changing rooms. "Are you showering, or do you want to head straight off?"

I groaned. "Will you judge me if I say I'm too lazy to shower right now?"

"No."

"Then no, not showering. I'll just go grab my stuff and splash some water on my face."

Instantly, Markus' face scrunched into obvious disgust, and he exclaimed loudly, "That's fucking disgusting. Who doesn't shower after the gym?"

"Markus!" I hissed, my jaw dropping. A quick, frantic glance around the gym confirmed that, thankfully, no one was paying any attention to us.

He smirked and rolled his eyes. "I'm kidding. Go get your bag."

What do we think of the chemistry between Markus and Daisy? I'm actually really struggling with it, so would love some feedback.

[RE-WRITTEN 05/10/22 - I've since been working on the chemistry in the edit so please let me know your thoughts]