Nicole

The tears wouldn't seize.

The emotions... They were starting to get to me.

Tristan... I almost couldn't bring myself to leave him.

Even while making my way back home, he had never departed from my mind. Our conversation had been stitched into my brain with a needle of heartache and emotions, strung by newly found hope for the future and adding another patch that began to close the hole of mystery I sensed in Jaden. The more I thought about the talk, the more tears I shed.

It really wasn't until those emotions calmed that I began to develop tons of questions... Questions about Tristan himself, his family, and what would happen after tonight. After all, Tristan is going to be the uncle of my child...

Oh my god... He's going to be an uncle and he has no clue...

I rubbed my sleeves as I tried to warm the goosebumps on my arms, exiting my vehicle and soon heading toward my front door with a deep breath.

One thing at a time, Nicole... Everything is going to be just fine.

I pulled my key out to open the door and quietly headed inside to meet Jay, eagerness already beginning to rise in my chest as soon as I step foot indoors. He needs to know about his brother. He needs to know now and I'll wake him up if I had to.

I headed upstairs, walking at first.

Then jogging a bit...

Then soon, rushing upstairs, heart racing with the anxiousness of wanting to just spill it all out to Jaden.

He has to know... He has to know...

When I made it in front of my bedroom door, I noticed that the dim light coming from the lamp had been turned on, which could only mean one thing.

He's awake.

I gently opened the door to find Jaden who was busy rushing to put his clothes on, clearly, he hasn't woken up too long ago and clearly, he wasn't aware that I was standing right behind him.

"I swear, Duke, your mom is so damn stubborn," Jaden muttered as the dog watched him, wagging his tail and letting out a little bark when he noticed me.

"Tell me about it." Jaden responded to Duke as he quickly began to slip his shirt on, "One second she's here and the next, gone." He said, turning around now, "It's insane-" He paused as soon as he noticed me.

"Are you through rambling?" was what I wanted to sarcastically say to him but for some reason, I could only stand there. The sight of him quickly brought those wild emotions back and caused my heart to race again.

I remained rooted to my spot as he let out a relieved sigh and rushed up to me, yanking me by my jacket. "Where the hell did you go?" He whispered, annoyance showing on the way he scrunched his brows at me.

I only smiled as he continued to rant to me, "You couldn't have at least told me you were going out? I searched this entire house and you weren't here." He sighed, "You need to quit running away like that, you nearly scared the living-"

I grabbed his face and pressed my lips against his to shut him up. As soon as I did that, his hands relaxed and slid around my waist to hold me closer as he deepened the kiss until I pulled away, smiling into his eyes.

"Why'd you do it?" I asked him in a whisper, my finger tapping on his chest. "Why'd you lie to them, why hide from them?"

He looked at me confused, "Woah... Slow down, baby. What's this about?"

I gently held the sides of his neck in my hands, gazing down at his lips so I could watch his words come out after telling him, "You staged your death to your family..."

When I spoke those seven words, I felt his pulse increasing, skin warming in my palms. His expression only vaguely softened up but his internal reaction displayed something entirely different. It almost seemed as if his heart thumped in panic for a short moment before he soon calmed it down.

He bit his lip before raising his hands to gently remove my hands from touching his skin, "Where is, uh... Where is all of this coming from? Are you okay?"

Don't pretend to not know what I'm talking about.

"Your brother." I told him eagerly, resting my hands on his chest, "He's told me so much... Enough for me to figure it out... You need to tell me. You need to tell me why you did it, Jaden. Why did you break away from them like that?"

"Wait, what?" His eyebrows raised, perplexed. "M-my brother...?" He shook his head, eyes locked in mine as he tried to understand, "Babe, you're not making any sense..." He then said.

Right, I need to get it together.

I exhaled deeply as I took a moment to organize my thoughts. Control my words... Then, I slowly told him, "I've found your brother. Jaden... He's been looking for you for years."

His heart began to thump again. Faster, harder. He gazed at me in disbelief and was at a loss for words. I moved my hands to grab both of his as I added, "He loves and forgives you, Jay. He just wants to see you again."

He swallowed, his nose and eyes now showing slight tints of red, "Which... W-which brother...?" He asked in a near whisper.

I gazed in his eyes and he held onto it as he waited, tears already creeping up to the surface of his reddening eyes that begged me to tell. "Tristan." I simply told him and he looked away as a tear fell down his cheek. I squeezed his hands as they trembled in mine and soon, he pulled his away.

"Nicole, you-" He choked on his words, raising his fist over his lips as he tried not to break. "H-How?" He asked. "How'd you find him...?"

I decided to give him the short story version, "I just sort of ran into him. He lives about 2 hours away..." I answered.

He slowly and repeatedly shook his head as he studied my face, looking at me as if I were an entirely different person standing in front of him. He almost seemed to not believe any of my words but after a lengthy, silent minute, he began to back away with a hand snaking around to rub the back of his neck, painfully pursing his lips and scrunching his brows before he soon turned his back to me then headed for the balcony door.

There was a pang in my chest as I crossed my arms, watching as he headed out and rested his hands on the railing then soon... He broke down crying.

And my heart ached for him. Shattered.

I sighed, moving my hands to rub my arms as I began to feel a lump form in my throat. A clear sign of the waterworks coming back to me... I assumed that I had poured all of my emotions out in the car ride back here, I thought I had run out of tears but seeing Jay like this hit hard.

No... No more tears... For Jaden's sake.

I took a deep breath, containing my emotions inside and then built up the confidence to make my way over to him, watching as he sunk to his knees and sobbed into his T-shirt.

Jaden...

I headed out to the balcony, shards of my heart stabbing left and right in my chest as I approached him. I've never seen him like this and I extremely underestimated how he'd react to the news.

I silently crouched down to his level. My hand resting on his back as I attempted to comfort him. He continued to cry, staining his white shirt with tears. I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes to keep my tears away as I listened to his abnormal breathing, felt his trembles. I couldn't even begin to imagine what this all felt like for him. I hadn't been very considerate of his feelings when I blurted the news out to him, I should have just eased him into it...

Unfortunately, It's already too late to consider that now.

I want to let him know that everything is gonna be fine...

That this should be good news because Tristan forgives him...

But I couldn't.

What he feels right now is beyond me. My words won't mean a thing because I don't understand. All I could do is be here for him. Be his comfort...

"N-Nicole..." His breathing hitched. "You told them a-about me..."

I nodded as I took his trembling hands in mine, "Jaden, please... Just breathe right now." I told him calmly but, suddenly, he shoved my hands away, his tear-drenched face glaring at me now.

"Just answer the fucking question!" He shouted raspily, causing me to quickly draw my hands away.

I widened my eyes at him, stunned.

I watched speechlessly as he clenched his jaw and kept those heartbroken eyes on me. He then asked in a softer tone, "Did you tell them where I am...?"

I hesitated to speak. He seemed more angry about this than anything else.

And that shocked me... Had he not heard me the first time? His family is willing him to forgive him. There is no reason for him to hide anymore.

He gently shook his head as he observed my expression, his words almost inaudible as he asked me, "Why would you do that...? Do you even realize what you've done?"

"I... I just don't understand."

"What is there not to understand?!" He snapped. "I don't want to see those people, I don't want to be a part of their lives anymore! Hadn't that been obvious enough by now?!"

Even after knowing that his family would forgive him, after knowing that they still love him... He still doesn't want anything to do with them...?

"You couldn't have come to me about it first?" He asked coldly, "You didn't think for a second that I should have a say in when or how I decide to face my family again, if ever?"

I lowered my eyes away from him to keep from looking at the devastation in his, "I was only doing what was safe."

"Safe?" He shook his head at me, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to hold back further tears. "What you did was give Tristan... M-my mom... And anyone else who shares my blood..." He drew in a deep breath then soon finished sharply, "You gave them a death sentence..."

I raised an eyebrow, heart thumping. Those words brought my bones to ice, made the hairs on my arms stand straight.

He noticed my expression and took a moment to try and calm himself down, moving to sit crisscrossed on the ground as he soon told me, "I didn't stage my murder for fun and games, Nicole..." He nearly glared, "I did it to protect them... To keep them from looking for me so they wouldn't be targeted by the gang."

I took a deep, chilling breath through my nostrils before asking, "Why would they want to target your family...?"

He moved his softening eyes away, "They care too much. No matter how far I tried to run, they always came looking for me. They always wanted to know where I was or what I was doing and..." He sighed painfully, "I knew that if they kept it up, they'd eventually find out about the gang and the tournaments which would've cost them their lives since they were considered outsiders and because I was already trapped in a position where freely leaving the guys was no longer an option for me."

He only glanced at me for a second as I listened intently, soon peeling his eyes away as he said, "I knew if I completely took myself out of their lives, they wouldn't have a reason to come and find me. I wouldn't cause any more damage to them."

Oh my god... I would have never even guessed...

"So this whole time... You were protecting them." I nearly whispered and he confirmed that with a nod.

"And by being lucky enough to be offered a position at the USSCI, I was able to protect myself as well." He added. "I was given a chance to escape the gang knowing that my identity will be kept confidential and I could defend myself while having backup if an attack were to happen."

I nodded, understanding completely now... And feeling a hell of a lot more guilty about what I've done. Guilty but not sorry.

"I hadn't realized that that'd be the case..." I admitted. "But you do love your family, don't you?"

He nodded, "I do. Which is why I have to stay away from them."

"No..." I crossed my arms. That'd be the last thing he'd do... "You're going to go see your family. You'll see them, hug 'em, and tell them face to face that you love them." I stood up now, dusting myself off.

"Nicki..." He started but I stopped him by adding, "And I'm going to get Levi and the rest of that little team in handcuffs. Those damned fight clubs are going down with him."

He gawked at me speechlessly. Astounded.

I smiled down at him before bending over to kiss his forehead, "I'm going to protect your... Our family. I'll find each and every one of your siblings and do all in my power to get them into a better neighborhood and get them into better care. I promise you."

He shook his head, tears already resurfacing on those eyes that gazed at me in disbelief, "You can do that...? Is that really possible?"

I nodded, "I can and I will..." I stood up straight now, gesturing him over, "Come. We should rest for tomorrow. Those things in your apartment aren't going to move themselves."

He sighed, "I'll be there in a minute, Nicki... I just wanna... Process."

I nodded, understanding that. "Goodnight, Jay..."

Jaden

I watched as Nicole headed inside of the bedroom, leaving me alone with the stars.

That woman always finds a way to make me love her more.

I leaned back until I laid across the balcony floor, pressing my hands over my face as I let out a soft groan.

My brother...?

How did she manage to do that?

I dropped my arms to lay flat on the ground as I gazed up at the moon.

"He told me everything..."

How much... Is everything...?

How much has Tristan known all this time?

"He's been looking for you for years..."

He's known that the death was a hoax and yet, he still wants to see me? He still wants to forgive me?

I don't get it... Why would he? After watching me become a ruthless monster, killing Levi's brother in front of him... How could he even bare to think of looking me in the eyes again?

"You don't want to do this..." I remembered that night like it happened yesterday. As I was slowly putting the knife down as Levi's twin brother held Misty at gunpoint, I remember seeing Tristan through the other side of the window... Watching my every move.

Nicole... What if he's told her about that night?

Would she think I'm a lunatic?

Nah... She obviously doesn't...

I stared at the moon, wondering about the rest of my family. How mom's doing... My brothers and sisters... Even my dad who chose to part from us.

I could only hope that they're in better condition since I last saw them but...

Things are gonna change for them. Change for the better. I don't need to hide myself away from them, I no longer have to worry about causing them any more pain because they'll be protected... I'll get to see them again.

My chest tightened at the thought.

It's been so damn long... Would they even recognize me...?

I sat up now, moving a hand to rub over my forehead.

This is just too much to take in right now.

But one thing is certain...

I stood to my feet and made my way to the railing, my eyes moving out into the stars.

I know you were listening, Misty... And I hope you understand...