Remus Lupin was scared. No, he was terrified. The full moon had been two days prior. He had spent the last 48 hours in the hospital wing, but that wasn't the part that scared him. He was scared about the bed next to him.

Sirius.

He laid there, asleep, dark hair messy, a slash across his chest.

"We are always so careful. All the injuries prior were minor. This shouldn't have happened. He shouldn't be hurt.
It should be me."

Remus couldn't escape the guilty thoughts running through his mind. He didn't even remember if it was his fault or not, yet he was still blaming himself. His best friend, maybe more, was injured and bedridden. Sure, Remus was also injured and bedridden, but he didn't care. All of his troubles paled in comparison to the thought of Sirius being hurt.

-
Lily Evans was running (well, jogging. She had to set an example as a prefect) to the hospital wing. Yes, this was the third time that day she had visited the boys, but who was keeping count?

As she ran, she felt someone come up next to her, matching her rapid pace. It was James. Of course it was James. He (and Peter) was the only one who had visited the hospital wing more than Lily.

"Alright, Evans?" He smiled, trying to keep up with her jogging.

"Sure, Potter." She responded, cracking the tiniest of smiles.

"For someone so short, you walk remarkably fast." James commented.

"For someone so slow, you sure do stop and talk a lot." She fired back.

This was most of their conversations as of late. They'd have the beginning of a nice conversation and immediately resort to half insults and witty comebacks.

This was definitely progress.

Finally, they burst in the doors of the hospital wing, finding Peter sitting in a chair between Remus and Sirius's beds, Remus talking with his friend quietly, and Madam Pomfrey making Sirius a potion.

"It seems Mr. Pettigrew has beaten the two of you here." Madam Pomfrey commented, not looking up from her potion.

"It seems he has." James pouted. He always needed to be first.

"Hey, guys." Remus waved weakly.

"How are you doing, Rem? Any better?" Lily walked over to his bed and grabbed his hand.

"I'm fine. Just tired and, you know, worried." Remus responded, glancing over to the bed beside him.

This further proved Lily's theory that Remus liked Sirius, but that was a discussion for another day.

The five of them stayed in the hospital wing for a bit longer, catching Remus up on class, talking about their days, and hoping Sirius would wake up.

He didn't.

A little over a day later, Remus was released. Usually he would be ecstatic because 72 hours in a hospital bed is not exactly fun, but he could barely focus on his freedom.

Sirius hadn't woken up.

That day, everyone could tell that Remus wasn't himself. Friends, classmates, especially teachers. And most knew why.
He was more fidgety than usual, quieter, less focused. His attention and heart were clearly elsewhere.

Thankfully, Sirius woke up that night.

Remus didn't leave his side for hours.
-

"No need to applaud my arrival. I know the past four days were the worst of your lives but I'm happy to report those days are over." Sirius announced to his section of the table. This was his first time leaving his bed since the full moon.

"Good to know being hospitalized hasn't changed you at all." Marlene smiled. Out of everyone, she might've been the best at hiding her worry. Not that that was saying much, everyone could still pretty much tell.

And just like that, things were back to normal.
Well, almost.

Remus was acting differently, still.
He tried to act normal, but it was obvious. Something had happened since the two were in the hospital wing.

A couple days passed and nothing had changed with Remus. It was driving Lily batshit crazy.

"Remus, what is going on?" She finally asked. The two were studying alone in the library. It was late, so even the librarian was asleep. It was their favorite time to go. Silent and still.

"What?" He asked, looking up from his book confusedly.

"You know, I know, the giant squid knows. You've been acting weird since the hospital wing."

"Lily, I'm fine."

"Remus, we're best friends. You can talk to me."

"I'm okay, Lil." He did not want to crack.

"If you insist on not telling me, it's okay. Just know I don't care what it is, I still love you. I'll love you no matter what." She went back to her studies, only slightly (visibly) upset.

"Fine. I'll tell you. Just sitting here in silence I feel guilty." Remus cracked.

Lily let out the tiniest of smiles.

"Lils, I'm scared." He looked into her eyes, and she knew his fear was real. His eyes gave him away.

"Remus, why? We're all okay. You're okay, right? Your family is okay?" Something about Remus's scared and watery eyes scared her.

"Not like that. Lily, you can't tell anyone about this. I swear." He took a deep breath.

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise."

They interlocked pinkies and smiled.

"Lily, I think I'm in love with my best friend." This was the first time he had ever admitted it out loud, but Remus noticed this while in the hospital wing.

"Wow, okay. I think I know who you're talking about." All she could think of was Sirius, but was scared to make any assumptions.

"I'm in love with Sirius. G-d, what is wrong with me?" He groaned, pressing his head against the table.

"Remus John Lupin, look at me." Lily picked up his head so they were making direct eye contact.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Remus. You love who you love. It's okay."

"But he doesn't even know I like guys. I don't even know what I like! I've never dated anyone seriously. I've never felt like this about someone."

"Rem, it's okay to not know. Just because some of our friends know their sexuality and are out doesn't mean you have to be in the same position."

"Lily, it gets worse." Remus continued, burying his head in his arms once again.

"What?" She asked, hopeful it wasn't as bad as Remus was making it out to be.

"He likes someone else." He whined.

"How do you know that?" Lily was confused. Remus was not one to jump to conclusions.

"I heard him talking to James."
James. She hadn't thought about him in an hour. A new record.

"What was he saying?" She wanted the full story.

"All I heard was him saying that he's liked this guy for years and he has no idea. The way he talks about this guy too, he's in love. The kind of love I can't imagine someone feeling for me."

That conversation happened the night before.

James and Sirius were sitting alone in the dorm.

"James, I have something I need to tell you."

"Yeah, Si?"

"I think I'm in love with Remus. I'm so screwed."

"Congratulations, Sirius Black. You are the last person to notice that. Other than Remus of course." James rolled his eyes.

So very very many words can describe Sirius Black. Subtle is not one of them.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't act like we don't see you staring at him in class, especially his mouth. Or being inarticulate whenever he is shirtless. Or how flushed and flustered you get when he smiles at you. Or how get all blushy when he says your name. Need I go on?" James listed off, counting on his fingers.

"No, that's quite enough. Thank you." Sirius left the room, but not without flipping James off first.

He was never going to admit that James was right. Over his dead body.

-
"Hey Dork." Marlene greeted Dorcas.

She looked at the door of the dormitory and after making sure it was clear, she quickly kissed Dorcas.

"It's okay. Everyone else is either hanging out near the lake or generally wreaking havoc. We're clear." Dorcas looked up at her girlfriend.

"I have a question."

"Yeah, Mar?"

"Why are we still hiding?" The two didn't break eye contact. Both knew the answer, but hated it.

"Honey, I want to hold your hand in public so badly but it's not safe. We're already hated enough for being gay and pan. We've seen what those death eaters do to couples like us. It kills me, but not as much as it would if something happened to you." Dorcas said what they had already discussed.

"Yeah, I know. And I know we can't tell our friends cause they'll make a big deal and what we have is amazing. I know. I just want to kiss you." Marlene sat down on her bed.

"Then kiss me, you fool." Dorcas sat beside her, and Marlene took her up on what she said.

"Something like this only happens once in a blue moon." They stopped kissing just long enough for Marlene to say this against her lips.

They were so focused on each other, they didn't realize the door opening.

"Holy shit!"

a/n
hey! this chapter is a little shorter, about 1,500 words. not bad not great haha.
anyway, here's some cute little moments between our fave gay disaster couples :)
who do you think walked in on dorcas and marlene?
i hope you liked the chapter!! thank you to all of the amazing people who read this and encourage me to update this book. you guys keep me going. as always, if there are any typos in this chapter, please let me know! love you!
~ brynlee