Chris greeted his band members with open arms and the largest smile he'd worn in weeks.

"So this is LA, eh?" Guy asked, looking around at the neighborhood from which Chris had rented his flat. It was a nice neighborhood, as he was quite rich, but it still didn't compare with the large house that Gwenyth was now in full possession of.

"Well, it's my part of LA," Chris replied with a giggle.

"Your part? As in you own it?" Will laughed. "What are you doing in this tiny flat, then?"

The rest of the band laughed.

Cautiously, he looked over at his green-eyed love. He was looking down, and biting his lips, a Jonny-way of saying he was stressed.

My poor Jonny. I'm so sorry.

"Well, since we don't have to work today I'm going out for lunch. You chaps wanna come?" Phil asked everyone.

Chris wanted to take this time to talk to Jonny, but when Jonny nodded in agreement to lunch, Chris sighed and offered to come as well. Guess he'd have to wait until later to spill things.

Lunch would have gone better if Jonny would've looked at Chris at all. Chris wanted to sit by Jonny like he usually did at restaurants, but Jonny quickly took the seat next to Guy, leaving Chris to sit across from him, and yet the green-eyed man still refused to look him in his own deep blue eyes.

At one point, Chris even reached over to attempt to grab Jonny's hand, but he flinched at the touch and quickly moved his hands away.

What had Chris done wrong?

The whole thing was really hurting Jonny. He didn't want to act like this towards Chris, but his therapist said that his feelings might have been caused by too much intimate contact between the two of them throughout the years. Of course, he didn't believe that nonsense for even a minute, but Chloe, who had been angry with him for telling her that he was in love with his band mate and best friend, encouraged him to succumb to the therapist's suggestions.

He didn't want this for himself or for Chris. He knew he was just hurting Chris more than he was already hurt, by making it seem that Jonny had no feelings for him whatsoever. In truth, his need for the singer was growing inside of his chest, his desire nearly outgrowing his will to be strong for his family. He loved Chris, with every ounce of his heart, body, and soul, he loved that man with the blue eyes as deep as the ocean and personality as bubbly as a puppy.

He bit his lip all throughout lunch, barely eating anything. He knew that Chris could see his stress, and he knew that they'd probably have a talk afterwards. Still, he did his best to talk with the other three guys and act as though nothing was wrong, even though all of the guys could see how hurt he really was.

When lunch was over, Chris offered to pay the bill, and Will was the only one who refused, even though Jonny was usually the one who refused and always ended up paying for it himself.

"I guess Jon was tired of paying for us," Guy joked, trying to lift his mood. He won a small chuckle from Jonny, but his small smile quickly turned back into a worried chewing on his lip.

Guy frowned and patted Jonny's back. "Are you okay, Jon?" Will and Phil  looked back at Jonny, who sighed and gave a nod.

"Jonny, please come to my flat. I'd like to talk with you about some things," Chris blurted, simply because he felt that he wouldn't get another chance to. Jonny was being unresponsive with him, and he needed to get answers.

Again, Jonny sighed and nodded, and with another pat on the back and a quiet, "Feel better, mate," Guy left with Will and Phil.

Chris made Jonny look into his eyes, which he did, and all the feelings that Jonny was trying to put away once again resurfaced.

Chris was almost the definition of a perfect human being. His short, brown hair was long enough to run for Jonny to run his fingers through it, and he remembered scolding Chris for shaving his head because he could no longer rub his hands through his fluff.

Then there were his soft lips, which gave Jonny sweet memories of them kissing. Under a sky full of stars like back in Devon the night Yellow had been written. Sweet, loving moments of them together on a daily basis, sharing a kiss or two before dinner or breakfast.

Then, of course, his crystal blue eyes, which shone as deep as the ocean under a full moon. How he could stare into them all night. He imagined himself staring into them on their wedding day, them both saying "I do," and then getting to stare at those eyes all he wanted for as long as he wanted.

His eyes moved down his body, and Jonny remembered the nights where Chris had wanted his own body, but how Jonny had refused and placed kisses up and down his neck, his chest, his stomach...

"Jonny! Did you hear a thing I said?"

Snap! Just like that, reality set in, on how Chloe was trying to keep them apart, how he still had a toddler back in London, and how he still couldn't make up his mind on whether or not he should take Chris back or not. He bit his lip and shook his head.

Chris sighed. "Come on, J. I have something to get off my chest." Usually, Chris would grab Jonny's hand and pull him, but after what happened at lunch, he wasn't willing to get hurt again and he let Jonny follow him quietly.

Back at Chris' flat, Jonny sat on the bed. "Chris, it sounds like we both have stories to tell and truths to hear."

Chris sighed nervously. "You first, J."

Jonny repeated his action and rubbed his sweaty palms together. "Well... the thing is that... I told Chloe about my feelings for you, and she wasn't happy about it, to say the least."

"Jonny, why would you do that?"

He sighed again. "It sounds so stupid now, but at the time I believed I was doing the right thing by seeing what she thought I could do about it. Well, she hired me a therapist who said that maybe it was just the intimacy that we had that caused my feelings, so she told me not to be intimate with you anymore." Tears threatened to fall from his eyes. "I took her advice, despite not believing a word of the bullshit she was feeding me, and now I feel bloody awful about it. I truly do."

When the tears finally fell and Jonny's voice cracked, Chris didn't make him explain it anymore. He embraced the younger man and felt him shake in his arms.

"It's ok, J. I still love you," he whispered.

When Jonny pulled away from him, he cleared his throat and continued. "So the problem is that I still don't know what to do. You're hurting, and that's obvious. I love you, and I want to be with you, but I don't know that Chloe wouldn't be angry if I went to you right away. That's why... that's why I can't leave her. At least, not yet."

Chris nodded and looked down. "It's ok, J. I understand. You have a family to take care of. I messed things up. I ended things too soon. You weren't ready. I can see that now." He didn't dare cry. A melody came to him then, and he quickly grabbed his guitar.

"That melody is depressing," Jonny said, his intended joke not quite reaching above his depressed tone.

"Well, so is my life at the moment." He strummed a few chords before he began to sing.

"For a second I was in control,
I had it once,
I lost it though,
And all in all,
The fire below,
Will rise."

Jonny watched in silence and Chris bellowed out those emotional, heartfelt lyrics.

"And I wish you could've let me know,
What's really going on below,
I've lost you know,
You let me go,
But one last time..."

Once again, tears pricked at the corners of Jonny's eyes. "I didn't let you go," he whispered, but Chris didn't hear him over the guitar.

"Tell me you love me,
If you don't then lie,
Oh lie to me."

"I do love you," he whispered, full on sobbing now. When Chris stopped playing, he ran over to Jonny and cupped his face in his hands.

"I'm sorry, J. I didn't mean to make you cry." He pressed Jonny's cheek to his own and they cried and held each other. "It just came from the heart. It's not necessarily about you, it's about my life in general," Chris said, but even he didn't believe himself.

"I love you, Chris. Just because I haven't made a decision yet doesn't mean I don't love you." He wiped his tears away and Chris nodded.

"I know, Jonny. I'm so sorry. I love you so much." They put their foreheads together and resisted the urge to kiss each other.

That night, they fell asleep in the same bed, and Chris forgot all about his plans to tell Jonny about their past.

~Author's Note~
Yes! Two new chapters in one day as an apology for not updating yesterday (oops).

I really love this chapter and nothing even really happened. Just more depression. I just think it's really good.