;;

jeongguk wasn't fragile.

there was no doubt about that.
he was strong, he could edure
things. he could push
past his troubles as long as he
had what he required to cope.
he had his art and his art had
him, that's all he ever needed
in this underwhelming life of his.

or, at least, he thought that was
all was needed.

what if that very art was the source
of his happiness, his sorrow, his
pain and love. everything in his
life revolved around it and he
couldn't come back to it when
he was upset because it'd
upset him even more than it
had before, he'd make it worse.
he was trapped in a cycle that
he couldn't escape. he wished
so badly that he could see things
another way, perhaps. things would
be far more beneficial. he could
leave all his sorrow behind him.

ugh, he should have known
that mr kim had a girlfriend.

why wouldn't he?

he was twenty two, financially
stable with a job and a car and
a stunning face. that's all you needed
to be happy in this world,
it seemed. he had no
business with scrawny highschool
students. the only time he probably
thought of jeongguk was when he
had to, like any other of his pupils.

he wasn't special, he wasn't
unique. in taehyung's eyes, he was
just another regular kid.

he was foolish to wish he
could have been so much
more.

not even painting brought
him solace, he was sat on
his bedroom desk,
perfecting a portrait
of a lush pair of lips with
his watercolours that his mum
had recently brought him.

beautiful;
he'd said
this to himself countless
times that everything he did
was somewhat beautiful.
they were precise and accentuated
and raging crimson, so red that
the skin could barely be seen,
they reminded him of someone,
he hated that it did but it was so
blatantly obvious who's lips
they were, he'd spent far too long
staring at them to not be aware of
it. far too long staring to dismiss the
fact that jeongguk had stared at
taehyung so long, had studied every
inch of his skin, of his face, to draw
him from memory.

so, yes. he stared with his
lips, oblivious that they'd
turn out so stunning. why wouldn't
they? Yhey were utterly stunning.
not his art, it was the lips itself.
the dimensions, the pigment,
the creases in the soft, plump skin.

jeongguk sighed and turned off
his nightlight, raising himself
up from his desk only to collapse
in a tired mess onto his bed.
his eyes fluttered shut as they
fell in contact with the fresh linen
sheets.

he'd have been pretentious and
flaunted to him to capture his
attention but what would be the
use in that, nothing.
he knew this from the very beginning
so he hadn't dared to stray from
what he felt was right. what he felt
was needed. little did he know then,
that what he needed was taehyung.
of course, he paid no heed to such
foolish things, things so painstakingly
obvious that he should have foreseen.
he was like a lamb to the slaughter,
letting his heart get torn to pieces
with nothing but obliviousness.
he hated every second of it.

stupid, stupid, stupid. he thought.

if only taehyung would see how
much he cared. that was the thing,
he never ever would. because to
him, he was nothing more than a
student.

a boy.

______________

"still here, gguk?"
jisoo's voice mused from
behind him.

it was sad how much
time he spent in the gallery,
sad how much time he spent
wallowing in his grief here.
but the paintings, to him, were so
thought evoking, allowed him
to think, stirred up those
thoughts in his head, mind
occasionally at peace.

"yeah, sorry, i'll leave."
it wasn't even that late but
jisoo had to close up soon and
she didn't like to leave him here
all alone. jeongguk had a night
pass. he was best friends with the
night guard so he was sure that
it wouldn't matter if she stayed
or left, he just didn't want her
to feel uncomfortable.

"nah, it's fine, kid. now tell
me what you're thinking about
in that brilliant brain of yours."
the sound of her heels stopped
beside him as she decided to take a
seat. jeongguk wasn't really in the
mood for a conversation but he
felt mean saying that and besides,
jisoo knew most of his deep dark
secrets, he was sure that she could
handle another one.

"i have a fat crush on my
art teacher." he deadpanned.
it was nothing but the damn truth
and he guessed it was better to tell
someone than to keep it bottled up
inside.

"i know."

"you bloody what-"

"it's obvious, ggukie," jisoo braced
her hands on her legs and
giggled, giving the boy a heart-warming,
red-lipped smile.

how on earth?

the younger boy tilted his
head in confusion.

"you're a literal tomato whenever
you're around him, don't think i
didn't notice that."

"that's just goddamn embarrassing."
the teen mumbled, shoving his
sketchbook into his backpack. if it
was so strikingly obvious- why hadn't
taehyung caught on yet? the man
certainly wasn't stupid.

he was so fine.

he didn't think a man could
be so perfect, so pretty. so beautiful.

taehyung was definitely something
else.

"he's a really good man, ggukie."
the receptionist's look was distant,
voice laced with something he couldn't
quite put his finger on. jeongguk
was well aware that they had known
eachother for a while. he'd never had
the opportunity to ask jisoo about it.
perhaps he was too shy, he wasn't
sure. but what he did know that
he should have jumped at the opportunity
long ago.

"a really good  friend."
she spoke quietly.

jeongguk wondered how much
she really knew, how much she
knew mr kim outside of school.

"yeah, he's super nice." jeongguk
looked up at the antiques on the
walls.

the boy stared up at anne lister's
work of art. last time he was here,
he'd thought he'd been rideculed.
but the way that taehyung had
complimented him was surreal,
something he'd never dream of
asking for. the things he'd said
to him, lord they were so.. suggestive.

it was wrong.

"and passionate." the girl hummed.

that was obvious to. his eyes
told so much about how serious
he was about his art, he seemed
not to give a damn about anything
else in his life. jeongguk wasn't
exactly complaining because he too
remained the same, his art came
before everything, because everything
to jeongguk.. was art.

until mr kim had came into his
life.

"what's he like?" the teen
asked with curiosity, carefully.

"who, taehyung?" she ran
a hand through her pitch black
locks and eyed the boy wearily.

placing a manicured hand
on the seat and drumming her long
nails against the faux leather,
she replied,

"he's brilliant- i've never met
someone quite like him."

"what makes him brilliant?"
jeongguk was well aware of the
answer to his pointless question,
it was more just reassurance that
he wasn't completely delusional.
unlikely, everyone thought that
taehyung was ethereal, not just him.
it wasn't just his eyes that saw him,
it was the whole world. and the
whole world knew his worth.

jeongguk just didn't know
his own.

"the way he speaks. i could
listen to him talk for hours on
end. he has very particular interests,
not particularly foreign but
not explicitly common."

interests other than art, good
lord how could he get even more
intriguing?

"he likes to read a lot. mostly
literature. he can quote plays,
poems, a true romantic."

why did that make his heart
flutter? it shouldn't have,
especially now, after everything,
after aknowledging that he was
taken. it shouldn't have made
him feel anything in the
first place.

"he adores history aswell.
he used to read textbooks when
we went to the coffee shop near
campus."

history was gorgeous,
jeongguk loved it; the way
his mind was taken back to
a world that existed before him,
a place where they did things
so different yet their emotions,
triumph, loss, blood, pain.
sorrow and smiles that painted
their faces clean. people
grew through these stories,
humanity thrived and lived
off these tales, learnt from
their mistakes to progress
to the current day. art played
a massive role as a representative
of the key events in history.
unforgettable, momentous
occasions that were captured
at the tip of a paintbrush, the
edge of a canvas, the edge of
the universe. they stayed
there, even as the world
revolved around them, even
as time passed by, these
visuals were caught
forever, irreversible and
invincible.

true beauty.

jeongguk despised
how compatible they
were.

it made little sense
to feel so strongly about
all of this, he should have
let it go while he could.
he should have stopped
himself from being so
attached.

he hated how his skin
crawled with jealously as soon
as those three words crept into
his head. the way he'd said them
so easily, so carefree.

'my special someone.'

it was so obvious that
he didn't care for jeongguk in
the slightest; why was he so hung
up on him then? this wasn't healthy.

he knew why.

because it was his gut feeling.
somewhere, deep down,
beneath all of this doubt and
insecurity, he was selfish.

he wanted taehyung for
himself. it was frightening
how hung up he was, how
much he yearned him,
how badly he wanted him.

this was so much more than
a stupid crush.

but of course, nothing really
concerned him now and it never
would.

it didn't matter because
jeongguk didn't matter to
taehyung, anyway.

he didn't matter at all.

_________

who's the special one?😎