;;

jeongguk couldn't
quite believe that he was
in belgium.

it hadn't dawned upon him yet.

a lot of things hadn't actually,
he was still in the process of
trying to wrap his small head
around them, the task quite
difficult to achieve with everything
that had happened in such a
blur these past few days.

a mess of colour, that's
what it was. the teen couldn't
describe what he felt.

he could only see it.

visualise it.

breath in his emotions, his
thoughts his incoherent,
unfathomable, jumbled up
feelings that he dwelled upon
far too much to be healthy, far
to long to be necessary.

there were other necessary things
that he should have been worrying
about right now but currently...
his situation remained surreal.

it seemed as though he
hadn't had the chance really,
he was just dilly dallying,
daydreaming, frolicking
up in the clouds with his
awfully vivid memories that
lay etched into his skull till
all he saw was black and white.

he was sat next to taehyung
on the bus, his backpack
clutched to his stomach as
he tried ever so hard to deter
his thoughts elsewhere,
anywhere expect on the events
of last night.

after he'd finished wallowing
in his self pity, everything hit
him like a truck.

lord.

he'd picked apart every
second in his head and analyzed
every breath that they had shared.
every word that came from
their mouths.

everything that had occurred
these past few days seemed so
perfect, so unbelievably, beautifully,
stunningly perfect that he wouldn't
have it any other way.

jeongguk was happy.

he was so happy.

he had taehyung at his side,
his sketchbook in his hands,
his heart in his chest about to
leap out with excitement,
was buzzing, elated, drunk on
joy and felt warm with nervous
butterflies in his tummy.

sick with glee.

jeongguk was living his best life,
how could he ever want more?
scratch that, of course he could
want more, he wanted everything.
everything being taehyung but
he figured that was too much to
ask for, especially being so
privileged all of a sudden.

the boy wasn't too sure
what position he and taehyung
were in but right now, but he
was assured that it was
definitely a good one, he could
work with good, it was more than
he'd dreamed of after all.

taehyung made him feel like
a prince.

'my little prince.'

fuck.

had he really said that?

had that really happened?

had he really kissed taehyung?

he had.

much to jeongguk's disbelief.

kissing taehyung...

kissing kim taehyung was euphoric.

limitless heaven,
endless warmth and
comfort and longing and
enlightenment.
he could dwell upon it
for an eternity, could trace
the outline of his lips on
his mouth, knew them like
the back of his very hand.

he'd kissed him with such
intensity, such longing and
desire and force that he had
no idea he'd possessed.

had he really slept in the same
bed as him?

had he really said
those lewd things?
moaned his sinful name, had he
really told him words he'd never
dreamt of telling anyone?

jeongguk felt awfully needy.

and awfully embarrassed.

taehyung knew.

taehyung knew that jeongguk
was touching himself. he knew.

fuck.

a  prominent blush adorned his cheeks
as his eyes flickered down
to their interlaced fingers that
rested on taehyung's thigh.

what did this even mean?

what were they doing?

taehyung didn't seem to be
thinking much about it.

if course he wasn't, he was
probably a lot more experienced
than the teen and the uncertainty
of their position presumably
didn't bother him in the slightest.

understandable.

there was nothing worth thinking
about, right?

wrong.

there was everything to think
about, those words he'd shared
with him, those words of praise-
did he mean them? or did he just
say them in the moment
because it felt right?
he'd said them before, he'd said them
again, emphasized it, even. yet
jeongguk still remained doubtful.

taehyung's gaze was always so
reassuring.

so strong and true.

it was, but those few seconds
before he'd ran upstairs to fetch
his things were foreign. he'd never
seen that glint in his eye.

the gaze he'd given him this
morning didn't reflect him in the
slightest.

it was as though he wasn't there
or something, physically present
but his thoughts and actions were
elsewhere, distant and fazed.

he could only hope that it wasn't
what he thought it to be.

guilt.

he hadn't realised so until they'd
sat down beside eachother, so
wordless in the crisp morning light.

the boy never had any trouble
talking with him, his words came
freely, he never thought twice
about them.

why was it that he didn't know
what to say anymore?

it was probably nothing.

jeongguk let out a shallow
breath as his gaze wandered
up the man's arm, up the sleeve
of his shirt, across his prominent
collar bone to the pendant that
lay on his chest. it was an emerald
of some sort.

pretty.

like him.

taehyung was ever so pretty.

the gem reminded him of the lush grass
that grazed his soft fingertips during
those precious moments
in the meadow. it seemed
like forever away- had it only been
yesterday that he was gazing into his
eyes and hoping and hoping and
praying that he'd look at him the
way jeongguk so foolishly did.

a fool.

was that what jeongguk was
to fall for taehyung?

if he'd ever told him he'd thought
of himself that way, he wouldn't
hear the end of it. taehyung seemed
to despise it when he talked ill
of himself.

his hand was warm, comforting
and huge against his own palm,
as if he couldn't feel any smaller
than he originally had- his hand
held him with a force that made
him feel safe.

he felt safe with taehyung.

"how long till we get there?"
jeongguk asked quietly.

taehyung was looking out
at the window over at the pretty
fields that rolled by at the vast
mountains at the tip of the
hazy horizon, jeongguk
wondered if he saw what he did.

his breath hitched in his throat as
the older man traced a gentle
thumb over his knuckles,
soothing circles into his soft skin.

"not long, sweet." taehyung murmured,
turning to face him with a small
smile on his face and that fondness
in his eyes that jeongguk wanted
to see forever.

here it was.

his warmth.

it came and went in a cycle,
a heartbeat. blink and it'd
race by; you'd miss it,
it seemed.

like taehyung truly cared
but something was holding
him back.

jeongguk despised how
much he could read people.

their body language was one
thing that anyone could pick
up on but the emotion that one's
eyes held never lied. it was raw
and honest, no matter how much
you'd want it to be wrong.

truth swam about in the depth
of taehyung's dark irises, even
in his happiest moments.

there was something that lingered
there that jeongguk sensed.

something in his mind.

"i hope she likes me"
he wondered out loud.

taehyung shook his head
with a grin on his face.

"anyone sane would love you."

are you sane, taehyung?

"i want to make a good impression."

"hmm, tell her your space
philosophy sweetheart, m'sure that'll
sure wow her."
the older sighed,
voice still husky, deep from
slumber. the small boy could listen
to him talk forever.

"that was nothing. just me
overthinking as per usual."
jeongguk bit his lip.

he was always overthinking,
he couldn't help it. keeping
his thoughts to himself was
overwhelming sometimes
but the second he'd let them
out, nothing good would ever
happen. he'd let his insecurities
get the better of him.

"when you're
quiet..." he fiddled with
a fraying strand on his backpack,
twisting the thread into a knot
between his nimble fingers as
he delved deep into his thoughts.
"you get a lot of time on
your hands."

"to think." he added.

taehyung sighed, nodded
with agreement.

almost as though he related,
as though he saw it like that,
he too felt what jeongguk
was feeling. he too had experienced
it. he could imagine taehyung
as the quiet type in his younger
years.

jeongguk pictured him to be calm
and focused and determined.

taehyung slowly leaned forward then,
face a tad bit closer than
it had initially been.

a little further.

his voice lowered an octave,
deep, slow, sullen as he tilted his
lips in towards his ear,
breath hot against the nape of
his small neck.

jeongguk shivered.

"if i had a penny for every
thought that went on in that
brilliant mind of yours, sweetheart,"
he trailed off, chuckling darkly as
jeongguk's face flushed red.
"i'd be a rich man."

fuck.

"most of them are meaningless."
the tiny boy murmured.

"yet the majority define you."
he brought up his slender fingers
to brush the teen's hair from
his doe eyes.

"are you happy, jeongguk?"
taehyung asked calmly,
words weighted with meaning.

jeongguk nodded silently.

he was.

god, he was so, so damn happy.

he wanted taehyung to be
happy too.

______________

short filler chapter but i just wanted to tell you guys how much i love you and how greatful i am of you for 200K, I don't deserve you guys, you're so precious and I hope you're all taking care and staying safe mwah 💖