;;

the morning after was
quiet.

not awkward, just...
quiet.

jeongguk had expected
that. neither of them really
knew what to say or when
to say it so they just shut
their mouths and kept their
raging thoughts, as it seemed,
to themselves.
it was  safer that way.

there was something different
in the air though. also expected
but jeongguk wished ever so badly
to know what it was, it was driving
him nuts.

embarrassed.
he was so embarrassed from
what had happened that he
couldn't even look
taehyung in the eye.

the teen knew that he had
a permanent blush on his
cheeks. nothing new but
he was more flustered
than usual which was
understandable considering
the whole situation,
he tried to calm down but
it wasn't working

jeongguk felt taehyung's stare
on his head as he silently watched
him from across the dinner table.
it was quiet. nothing but the echoing
clink of the teen's spoon against
the side of his bowl as he scooped
up his cereal.

taehyung stared at him a little longer
than necessary.

why were they so wordless?

jeongguk should have said
something, anything to calm
down the tension. anything
would have been fine, just some
light chatter to deter their minds
from the events of last night, small
talk that jeongguk sucked at but was
willing to delve into to ease the
ordeal— but nothing came.

he'd tried. and miserably failed.
his words choked on themselves in his
throat everytime he opened his
mouth to speak, every time he
captured taehyung's dark, hazy
stare beneath the man's thick,
dark brows.

he hadn't the slightest
clue of where he'd begin.

apologizing? no, that would
make things even more complex.

i'm sorry that i couldn't control
myself last night?
no, he couldn't say that.
god, that'd be so pathetic.

sorry that i touched you?
no, that was just fucking weird.

perhaps he needed to be explicit
though, what he'd done last night
was wrong. taehyung had clearly
told him no, and jeongguk being
jeongguk had done it anyway.
sometimes he despised his lack
of self control, if it would lead
to more situations like this then
he didn't know what he'd do.

the smaller boy wordlessly
watched as taehyung rose from
his seat to take jeongguk's
empty bowl and saunter to the
sink to wash it. the teen wasn't going
to protest and say that he was
old enough to wash his own dishes
because that would be an awkward
place to start aswell.

he hadn't been in bed when
he'd woken up.

it was a few seconds that he'd
panicked and sat up, sheets pooling
at his thin waist, convinced
that he'd been abandoned;
but then he heard some
subtle clanking of pots and pans from
downstairs and relaxed.

taehyung hadn't left him.

he was there.

but why did he seem so far away?

jeongguk too got up from his chair
and followed the man, stopping a
good few metres away from him
and fiddling with the hem of
his hoodie, lip bitten
as he watched his back, watched
taehyung run the bowl under water
and place it in the rack to dry.
he watched as he took the towel
from the side and wiped his hands
on it. why on earth was it that he
was so fascinating in everything
that he did? how was it that jeongguk
wasn't tired of it yet, wasn't tired
all?

because he adored him.

"do you regret it?"
jeongguk blurted out.

shit.

shit.

why did he say that?

taehyung stilled with the
cloth in his hands, gazing out
at the garden from the kitchen
window before them.

jeongguk had fucked up, he'd
fucked up big time. what if he said
no? what on earth was he going to
do then? fuck.

the older placed the cloth down
on the countertop and turned to
face the small boy, brows furrowed
and eyes flickering with something
jeongguk struggled to make out over
his racing pulse, his blood that
screamed in his head.

he looked like an angel.

bleak hair tamed and flat
against his forehead, lips
tinged pink and plump in the
morning light,
eyes dark like a night sky,
perfect in the halo that glowed
as a bright shadow around his
form, his duck egg blue shirt that
clung to his broad chest, tucked
away into high waisted, vintage
brown pants and suede dress shoes,
the sun's pretty rays
iridescent outlining his
silhouette as he came into
focus, gazing at the ravenette.

jeongguk didn't deserve him.

"why would i regret it?"
the male spoke lowly, watching
him for an answer that jeongguk
didn't have and wasn't going to
give him.

what reason did he have to
regret it? plenty, probably. but
jeongguk wasn't supposed to be
reminding him, he didn't want to
remind him, call him selfish and
whatever but if taehyung was openly
dismissing the fact that he'd slept
with a student then jeongguk
wasn't going to enlighten him with
the consequences.

the boy didn't give a damn.

but he had to know.

he had to know what taehyung
was thinking because he was
ever so difficult to read.

jeongguk supposed he was easy
to read, he always showed his emotions
so vividly, rarely held back, rarely
stopped himself from feeling
things— an advantage and disadvantage
really.

it was obvious that taehyung knew
exactly what he was thinking.

then why wasn't he acting on
that matter?

jeongguk didn't give him
a reply. he couldn't.

he was barely breathing.

gaze wandering to floor,
he hoped that taehyung
wouldn't notice his raging blush.

a few moments of silence passed,
long enough for taehyung to be
convinced that jeongguk was not
going to embarrass himself and
answer his question.

"do you?" taehyung reciprocated,
lowering his voice, a certain
seriousness suddenly laced
within his tone;
it frightened jeongguk.

"no." the ravenette replied.
too quickly.

to uncomfortably quick.

he blushed even harder this time,
air caught in his throat as he
cowered under taehyung's
heavy, tilted gaze.

"i don't... wouldn't... ," he began
quietly—
so sure that he'd melt to
smithereens from the heat in
his ruby cheeks.

taehyung only watched him,
expressionless. he wondered
what was going on in his head.
that, he'd probably never know.

all jeongguk knew was one thing.

what was going on in his own.

"w-wouldn't ever regret it..." he
whispered, fiddling with his
soft sweater paws as he took
in a shaky breath to finish
his dire sentence.
"with you."

good lord.

he'd really said it.

now, he didn't quite
know how literally taehyung
would take it but he prayed
that he wouldn't think too
much of the statement, it
wouldn't be good for either
of them, jeongguk was
embarrassed as it was.
it seemed as though he was
digging himself another hole.

the boy's heart stopped in his chest
as he saw taehyung's feet shift,
taking gentle, slow steps towards
him.

in less than a second,
the small boy felt two slender
fingers under his chin to
tilt his face up towards
taehyung's own.

the man studied him,
pupils wandering across the
boy's face, brows knitted
together with concern. jeongguk
wondered what he was so concerned
about. he probably looked
concerned for himself too,
like a lost, helpless puppy.
why was his life so difficult?

"then what's wrong, darling?"
taehyung whispered softly.
he was always whispering,
he didn't have to whisper, they
were very much alone, he didn't
need to worry about that, in fact,
jeongguk didn't need to worry of
that because there were more
pressing matters to worry about.

a smooth, careful
thumb shifted across the
expanse of the boy's cheek, palm
cupping the side of his face
and fingers weaving themselves
through his brown curls.

he was ever so close again.

it was far too much for jeongguk's
brain to handle so early in the
morning.

"m'sorry." he mumbled
against taehyung's finger
that wandered over his thin
upper lip, doe eyes apologetic
and hazy as he gazed up at
this man. this gorgeous man.

"whatever for, sweet?"
the older mused, chuckling
lightly as jeongguk gasped
under the clasp of his other
hand at his neck.

his touches.

god, he'd never get over them.

he was ignited by them.
so tender, and sweet, jeongguk
would have been mad not to feel
like drunken and tipsy.

"for not, f-for not listening to
you." he stuttered.

taehyung gave him a small
smile.

"but you did, love."

"m'no i didn't." jeongguk
frowned. "sh-should have
stopped myself." he traced
his fingers over taehyung's
hands, down the veins
and held his wrist, his hand,
his fingertips where they
fell in contact with his own skin.

fuck, he wanted
to kiss him again. he was
just there and so close and
gorgeous, taehyung was
so pretty. he felt small under
him. in fact, if he wanted to
kiss him standing upright, he'd
have to get upon his tippy toes
just to reach him.
he hadn't quite realised their
height difference.

he was smaller than him.

so significantly small.

"it's alright, ggukie." the man
assured him, tapping a finger
against his cheek and laughing
gently at his fluttering lashes.

was it?

it was.
it was okay. taehyung had said so.
jeongguk could stop worrying now,
right?

"was..."
fuck.
"was gonna say, that i...i- loved
it. actually."

had he not been a desperate mess,
perhaps he would have loved it even
more so.

but he'd just admitted something
embarrassing, yet again.

ugh, why was he so helpless?

"yeah?" taehyung smirked,
leaning in closer, dangerously close.

"mhm." jeongguk mumbled.

"good."

"mhm." he mumbled again,
eyelids heavy and tired.

"you're beautiful, you know that?"
he said this staring dead into
jeongguk's eyes.

his words were deeper.

meaningful.

he meant them, he didn't just
toss them around. he'd meant them.
all along it seemed.

but it meant more to jeongguk...
now that he'd truly seen him.

taehyung had seen him.

every inch of him.

he badly wished he could see
taehyung too.

he was probably so, so, so
perfect.

"i am?" the tiny boy smiled shyly.

"gorgeous." taehyung whispered
against his cheek.

he placed the softest of kisses there.
long, sweet, heavy, clad with care
and fragility, careful, cautious.
perfect. his lips melted his cheek.
made him shut his eyes to breathe
him in, to exhale as he came closer,
so, so close.

jeongguk would never tire of it.

"what was that for?" he asked,
pouting with curiousity once
he'd removed his grasp.

"couldn't help myself, i guess."

"you sound an awful lot like
me." jeongguk blushed.

hard.

"hmmm, i do, don't i."
taehyung tilted his head
to comprehend it.
"guess we're even now then."

wow.

jeongguk bit his lip
to stop himself from smiling.

"how about this."
the older suggested, taking
the boy's hand in his own.
"how about, you go fetch your
sketchbook."

his sketchbook? why-

"how about we go meet a
certain someone you've been
wishing to know for a while,
hmm?"

oh.

"anne." a grin erupted into
jeongguk's young face.

god, the moment he'd been
waiting for. he didn't think
this trip could get any better.

"but, why my sketchbook?"

he didn't need it, although
he'd bring it along anyway
because that's just what
jeongguk did.

"well, she's given so much of
herself to you through her
artwork." taehyung tucked
a stray lock behind the boy's ear.
"i'm sure she'd love to see a
part of you, as well."

oh. god.
yes.

jeongguk threw himself on to
taehyung for a soft hug.

taehyung was amazing to
embrace, he smelled so
good and way squishy in all
the right places and-

oh.

he'd be a fool to miss it.

to miss the way the man tensed
beneath his touch when his
arms wrapped themselves around
his slender waist.

jeongguk ignored it, he took
no heed, shoved it away as though
it was nothing.

because that's all it probably was.

nothing.

taehyung's short, warm smile
once he had removed himself
definitely reassured him so.

it was nothing.

nothing.

____________________

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