LALISA
🍂

Life in the small town of Wayji had always been different from the two sides. The North is were the capital is. The heart, as one would say. But to me, it had always been in the Southside. It was more genuine, unforced. Whereas in the Northside you have to strive to survive.

It's been a week since we found her body by the river and I still couldn't believe that Tzuyu's gone.

We didn't even get the chance to talk all night like we used to. Now, I wouldn't be able to talk to her, period.

Her funeral was held on the Northside and the serpents—though uncomfortable roaming around enemy territory, still made it. I gave the eulogy together with this Kim Jungkook—they say he's the closest to her when she was still a new student in Wayji Acedemy, but I didn't get the chance to talk to him about what happened to Tzuyu. But I do hope one day, I could. Because I want to know whether Tzuyu was happy during her last days. Or did those snobby brats had something to do with her sudden passing.

"Lis."

I looked up to see Yoongi, Taehyung and Jimin standing near me. Hands in their pockets, Taehyung was the first one to sit beside me.

"You sneaked out again," he said while putting his arm over my shoulder. I did what I usually do whenever he does that. I leaned closer to him and my head rested on his chest. "You dad called my dad to ask where you were. He also called Yoongi and Jimin's dad."

"We're worried about you, Lis," Jimin said as he too sat beside me. "We know how close you were with Tzuyu."

"It's just..." I felt a huge lump in my throat. "I don't believe that she killed herself, Chim. I know her. Even if she's soft spoken, I know she wouldn't give up on anything that easily. She's driven. She has dreams. We're supposed to enroll in Seoul University together and get away from here. We... we..."

"People change, Lis," Yoongi said firmly. "You know for a fact that Tzuyu wasn't herself that day."

"She lost weight and she spaced out a lot," Taehyung seconded. "Those were the signs but we didn't realize it sooner. She was depressed, Lis. Adjustment in her new school must've been tough."

"Tzuyu blends with people well, Tae," I argued. "Remember when she was new in the southside? It only took her two days. Two fucking days, Tae. It was like she grew up here with us."

"The Northside and Southside are very different," he started. "The North doesn't have you in it. She blended in with us well because of you, Lis. You made it easier for her to befriend everyone. Plus Southside high doesn't have any bullies in the first place."

"So when she went to the Northside, she wasn't immune to the harsh reality of high school anymore," Jimin continued. "And knowing she came from the Southside, it wouldn't be easy to fit in. Not for her nor for anyone else."

I sighed. "If that's the case, why didn't she tell me? I mean, I could easily slit those snobs' throats—"

"That's exactly why, Lis," Taehyung lightly patted my shoulder. "She knows you'll march over there and stir up trouble. But I guess, that's just a hunch. Maybe there are other reasons why she did this."

I heaved a heavy sigh before turning to Yoongi. "Did uncle Seunghyun say anything? He's the sheriff so I assume he has something to back up that depression thing."

Yoongi gave her a quick nod before rummaging through his bag.

"Since the investigation's done, he thought it wouldn't be for the best if we were to give this to you," he said while handing a baby pink notebook wrapped in plastic to me. "But I think this might help you move on from what happened."

I wasn't sure if I could. But nonetheless, I took it from him and gently tore the plastic.

Bittersweet. That's the right word to describe what I currently feel. It hurts that this diary is the only thing I have that reminds me of her. But I managed to crack a smile because the pink notebook I'm holding right now was my gift to her for her last birthday. The unicorn embroidered on its cover looked a little worn out but it was still nice.

"It's getting pretty late," Taehyung suddenly said breaking the deafening silence between us four. "I'm sure your dad already made us dinner. He said he'd make your favorite kamjatang and kimchi rice."

I nodded without breaking eye contact with the notebook. Maybe this will give me the answers I'm looking for. The answer to who killed Chou Tzuyu.

🍂

Sneaking out late at night was a natural thing for me. I'd usually do it when I want to sleep over at Tzuyu's. But now that she's gone, strolling around the neighborhood is my only option.

Wearing my black beanie and black leather jacket, I carefully climbed out of my bedroom window. As I safely landed on the ground, I immediately placed my backpack inside the basket of my bicycle and rode off.

I still couldn't believe Tzuyu's gone. We planned our summer getaway together. But she never showed any signs of depression or sadness. Instead, she was so pumped and excited with the road trip us five will enjoy for a good two months.

But I guess that was months before. When her father got hired in the Mayor's office. When she couldn't stop crying 'coz she's transferring schools. When five became four.

With my phone's built-in flashlight, I scanned the pages of my best friend's diary. Her handwriting is pretty as always. She liked decorating her notes with doodles on its corners. Her letter "o" was still a cheesy heart.

September 8

Dear Diary,

I miss Lisa. I miss every♡ne fr♡m the s♡uth. I wish every♡ne was here. S♡ I w♡uldn't be this l♡nely anym♡re.

September 17

Dear Diary,

Every♡ne here hates me. I want t♡ g♡ back t♡ s♡uthside high but dad w♡n't let me. I miss my ♡ld friends. My ♡ld life. I wish Dad w♡uld just l♡se his j♡b here s♡ we can g♡ back t♡ the s♡uth. Ugh. I hate him for d♡ing this t♡ me.

September 29

Dear Diary,

Kim Jungk♡♡k became my science partner. N♡w every♡ne hates me even m♡re than they did. But at least he's nice. He talks t♡ me like we're friends. Are we really friends? I h♡pe s♡. I need friends here. G♡d I miss Lisa. I wish she was here with me s♡ she can punch the living shit ♡ut ♡f Jennie Kim.

October 9

Dear Diary,

I'm ditching the heart o's. I checked and I do look like a five-year old. Lisa was right.

So Jungkook and I are friends. He said so himself. I'm glad really. Who wouldn't wanna be friends with him? He's like the Golden Boy of the Northside. A modern day prince. Girls in Wayji Academy would kill to be in my position right now. But he's not my type. We're too similar so it won't work out. Plus, I like boys who are more like Yoongi. I'd ask him out myself but I know he's got his eyes on someone else. Or maybe a boy version of Lisa would be better suited for me. Lol. I'd totally fall for Lisa if he was a boy. We're soulmates, I'm sure of that.

November 26

I haven't been able to write much but I guess I became busier because of school and... him. I think I really like him. Scratch that. I think i might've fallen in love with him. But I can't. That'd be too weird. Or can I? I think he feels the same way too. I can feel it. I can feel it with the way he looks at me.

He's not my type but I still fell for him. Ideal types can change, right?

December 25

I finally confessed my feelings for him. And he loves me too! I'm so happy! For the first time since I transferred to the north, I feel genuinely happy. I feel like when I'm with him, I finally belong here.

I wish I can share this with Lisa. I miss her. I can't wait for her to meet him.

February 18

I thought everything's in place. But I guess I was wrong. It was too good to be true. I hurts a lot. I feel like my heart is about to explode...

March 15

Should I just end everything? It would hurt less if it stops, right?

A lone tear dropped on one page.

"Fuck."

I wiped off the tears which started to fall. So what they say is true. She was hurt. And she killed herself to end the pain.

Why didn't I notice that whenever we talk? If I wasn't that insensitive, I could've saved her. If I only knew, I would've been there for her. I would've made her feel loved. More than any fucking guy can.

Flipping through the pages of her diary, I somewhat feel angry—no, furious, at the guy who did this to her.

Why are guys even like that? Saying you like someone then suddenly leave her hanging after you get a quick booty call done? Or whenever they get bored, they leave her.

Are girls just play things to men? Are we even human in their eyes?

I'm not a man-hater or anything. My dad's an awesome guy. Half of the serpent men are great boyfriends and husbands to the women of their lives. But I guess not all men are alike. For ever one good man out there, there are three douchebags just waiting to take advantage of the a girl's innocence—

Suddenly, a blinding light was aimed straight at me cutting my thoughts.

"What the actual fuck?!" I hissed. "I swear if that you, Dong Jimin, I will end your fucking miserable life—"

As the light darted away, a foreign face greeted me. Well, not too foreign because a week ago, I've seen that face before.

It was him. It was Kim fucking Jungkook.

🍂

"I'm not her boyfriend! Stop!"

I didn't. I continued to hit him hard with Tzuyu's pink notebook while sitting on top of him.

"Liar!" I kept hitting him. "You played with her feelings you fucking douchebag! You fucking asshole! She killed herself because of you! And you had the audacity to make that half-assed eulogy—"

"Fuck."

With one swift move, the bastard pinned me to the ground.

"It wasn't me!" He insisted as I struggled to break free from his grasp. The guy was fairly strong—and heavy. Yup, he was on top of me while his hands tightly held my wrists.

"Get off me!" I screamed. "You're just saying that so you don't get blamed for her suicide! To clear your fucking conscience you monster!"

"Would you just listen to me?!" He yelled back. "Tzuyu's a good friend but we never dated! Yes, I liked her but she turned me down. She said she was in love with someone else!"

I stopped "What?"

"I liked Tzuyu but when I confessed my feelings to her, she rejected me. She said she already has a boyfriend and he only sees me as a friend. As embarrassing as it may seem, I was friendzoned by the only girl I ever liked!"

"But she said so in her diary!"

"What diary?" His gaze doverted towards the pink notebook. Without having any choice, Jungkook was able to take it from my hand—with him still pinning me on the ground. "Where did you get this? How does this even prove it's me she likes—"

A loud thud suddenly echoed and Jungkook fell on top of me revealing Taehyung with a rock on his hand.

"Lisa, are you okay?"