Dear journal,
Scott knew who Alex was but didn't make much of it when I talked about him, Alex knew about Scott and freaked out when I talked about him. Am I missing something here? Why can't they both just get along? Scott didn't seem to have an issue with Alex. I wish I could say the same about Alex. I don't know what to do. I want to be friends with both of them, our friendships were so different from one another. Who let me think I'd be able to go to a new school without any issues?
-M

--

And on the weekend, me, Kirstie, Esther, Jake, and Alex all showed up to the mall to hang out and do some shopping. Knowing that all of us were gay and/or females made it easy for us to have a shopping day, even if Alex still didn't want to buy that much. I got even closer to Kirstie when we shopped, because we were both so passionate about it. Jake and Alex laughed at us a lot.

Something I noticed was how close Alex and Jake really were. I didn't know at first, but they had a weird friendship and kind of didn't talk to anyone else than each other. I didn't really mind, he didn't completely seclude himself, it was just a small observation I had noticed.

"Oh, look who's here, Allie," Esther says sarcastically, motioning her head to some people to our right. "It's your best friend!" She shouts, continuing her sarcasm. Alex flips her off. I look at the people, it was Scott, his hand connected with Taylor next to him. Two other guys were with them. I had seen that at lunch before, they sit with Scott.

"Don't test me, Kaplan, your favorite person is right next to him," Alex shoots back. Esther glares at him for a moment before Alex laughed. "Look at those four," Alex says and sighs. "God, the only reason people know who Scott is, is because of his damn fuck buddy," he snaps. Oh no. I was witnessing gossip, and it was about Scott. I didn't want to deal with this. Esther and Jake laugh, Kirstie just smiled.

"And because they're dating, Avi gets credit too," Esther says, annoyed. Avi? I had heard the name before. Avi Kaplan. I knew the name, not the face. I guess that was him But I had just learned Esther's last name is Kaplan too... What?

"Esther, are you related to Avi?" I ask. Esther groans and nods.

"Don't remind me," she says and rolls her eyes. Kirstie lightly touched my forearm, a way to signify that I should stop talking. I nod to her. Kirstie sighs.

"I'm going to the bathroom, come with me, Mitch?" She questions. I shrug.

"I can't go in, thoug-"

"Great!" She exclaims. "Let's go," she grabs my arm and leads me away from the group, and we quickly reached a distance far enough to talk. "If you want to make it at this school, let them talk and don't get involved. They talk shit about people a lot, 'specially Scott and his friends, which includes Esther's brother. Just don't bring up Avi around Esther, okay?" I nod slowly. "You're lucky Alex is being civil about you and Scott being friends, he hates him. And because he hates him, he expects us all too. Esther and Jake do, I don't. I just don't talk to him and I keep my mouth shut. You should do the same." I nod again.

"There's a lot happening or that has happened that I don't know about, huh?" She sighs and nods. "Am I allowed to know?" Kirstie was hesitant. "Like, what happened between Avi and Esther?"

"I can't say it, Mitch. It's not my place." I nod a little sadly. Kirstie and I look back at the group to see our group of friends going at it with Scotts group of friends. Taylor was yelling at Scott, Avi and Esther were yelling at each other, Jake and Alex had disappeared, and Kevin was trying to stop Avi from yelling at her. Why did they leave Esther? The two of us ran over to them, intervening between Avi and Esther.

"Stop!" Kevin was yelling. He grabbed Avi's shoulders and ripped him away from Esther. Avi didn't touch Esther, just got in her face. Kevin sighed. "You idiot!" He yells at Avi. "Leave her alone!" Esther had a tear on her face. Kirstie hugged her, and I had no idea what to do. I sat still. Avi stormed off, probably leaving to be alone. Kevin walked over to Esther, and Kirstie backed off. "Are you okay?"

"I-I don't know," she says. "I can't stand him! God, I'm so happy we don't live together or we'd literally kill each other." She says in frustration. It was hard to hear over Scott and Taylor's bickering.

"Can you two shut up for one second please!" Kevin yells, but they completely ignored him. After they ignored, Kevin pulled Esther aside to finish reassuring her. I looked to Kirstie, and she shrugged. Of course she wasn't going to talk to them, she barely knew them. I did. I tapped Scotts shoulder, and his face softened when he saw me.

"Hey," I say quietly. Taylor moved Scott and pushed me, and I just about fell over, but I kept myself up. "What the hell?"

"Stay away from Scott!" She yells. "What did I tell you, asshole?!" Scott sighs.

"Stop, Taylor!" He yells. She turned to him and put a hand on her hip, you could tell she was about to go at him again. "I'm going to break up with you if you don't shut the fuck up!" Scott yelled suddenly. It was out of frustration and anger, he was in the moment. Her face lightened a little.

"Scott," she says softly. "I'm sorry, baby. I won't yell again, I'm so sorry!" She complained. "He just angers me, please don't leave me!" She begs.

"Don't take out your anger on him," Scott says, his voice softer than before. "That's what your boyfriend is for, right? You to yell at whenever you damn please."

"No, baby, I'm sorry-"

"Well, that's all you ever do!" He yells. "You yell at me, and then you sleep with other guys!" He shouts. "You know how many times I've cheated on you? Zero!" Taylor looks down. "And then you continue to fuck other guys! You don't get it, do you? You ain't ever going to settle because they gonna know all you do is fuck guys."

"Baby," she says in defeat. "I'm sorry, I won't anymore."

"Sometimes, I want to walk up to people and kiss them just despite you!" Scott looks at me. I backed away before he did something dumb. "And I almost did, too."

"You did?"

"Last weekend, I went to a party and I danced and hung out with Mitch all night. I almost kissed him to, just so I could tell people I cheat on you too, but I didn't." He says in anger. My eyes widened.

"Scott..." I whisper.

"I know, Mitch, 'I'm straight', save it," he says, shutting me up. I just nodded. I looked back to Kirstie who looked beyond shocked at his reaction.

"Are you dumping me?" Taylor asked sadly. Scott sighed.

"I-I don't know, Tay," he says, softening. I wanted him to break up with her so badly. "Just give me a day or two, I'm going home." He said before walking away. Taylor glared at me before walking the opposite direction.

"Holy shit," Kirstie said. "What is going on?" I looked back to her and shrugged.

"Where did Esther go?"

"Somewhere with Kevin," she says with a smile.  "I secretly want them to be a thing. Don't tell no one, I would get my southern ass beat," I chuckled. "They close before our two groups started hating each other. They kind of gradually just stopped talking, but they never had any beef together. I think they like each other, but it ain't my business," I smiled at the thought, like a secret love affair. "But can we talk about Scott wanting to kiss you?!"

"He was just saying that, you know, to tell off Taylor," I say. "He's straight," Kirstie rolls her eyes.

"Whatever."