Dear journal,
My mom always told me that I wasn't a bad person. She always told me that I never did wrong. My grades were good, my family loved me, and I had friends. That's all that I needed. She was wrong. She never knew what happened at school, between my ex boyfriend and I. If she knew, maybe she wouldn't of been so supportive of me.
-M

--

Do I try to talk to Scott? Do I leave it be? Do I never even speak to him again? He couldn't even look at me anymore.

Our England trip was nearing its end, the plane ride home being only two days away. The only good thing that came out of this was for Alex and Jackson, who both seemed happy at the moment.

At around 7:00 in the morning, someone knocked on me and Alex's hotel room door. Alex groaned and rolled over, trying to tune out the knock. When they knocked again, I quickly got up and walked to the door. I slowly opened it to see Avi. He appeared to be tired.

"Have a minute?" He asks forwardly. I rubbed my eyes and yawned.

"Isn't it early-"

"You got plenty of minutes, I can take a few," he says, grabbing wrist and pulling me out of the door. He shut it behind me. I pulled my hand away from quickly.

"I don't have a key, Avi!" I exclaim. He didn't seem phased. He paced for a few seconds before turning to me.

"You just like to go and ruin things for people, don't ya?" He asks angrily. "Jackson and I, Taylor and Scott, and even Scott and you," he spits. "I just want to know your motives, you know, for puttin' people through hell."

"What?" I ask. "You can't pin all of that on me, Avi-"

"The hell I can!" He shouts. "I surely can, and I surely will. How long until Malory and Kirstie split up too?"

"This is insane, why are you even here?"

"To call out little bitches like you!"

"You're a little bitch, you know that?" He spits, coming up close to me. I tried to walk away, but his body forced me to the door of a closet across from the lockers. "No one would've ever known how much of a slut you were." I tried to keep myself from crying, but it was no use.

"I thought you liked me-"

"Of course you did," he whispers. "I'm hot shit and you're garbage. You would've fallen for me if I knocked on your door and told you to drop to your knees." I wiped away a tear on my cheek.

"I didn't do anything-"

"Stop speaking," he demands. "Dogs don't deserve to speak. Now get on all fours and start barking," he says, pushing me to the ground. I didn't move at first. "Come on, pup, entertain me."

"Come on. Explain it. Entertain me," Avi says, crossing his arms and leaning on the wall. I felt tears brimming in my eyes and my entire body tensed. "Go ahead."

"I don't know what you want me to say, Avi," I admit. "I didn't do anything to you," I explain. "You did that yourself-"

"So you didn't tell Alex?" He asks. "Because if I recall correctly, the boy I was with is now with someone that I hate because of something you said."

"What I said was true," I say, avoiding eye contact. "I only say the truth."

"You're a liar."

"You lying piece of shit!" He yells, pushing me back. "You're going to tell the boy that you cheated on that it's my fault?" He asks, walking towards me. I moved back until I felt myself hit the wall.

"You tricked me," I say. "It isn't my fault, none of this is-"

"So you think you're telling the truth?" He asks demonically. I nodded slowly, fearfully. "I guess you're just insane. You need to go to a home, a mental home." He says, pointing his finger at my chest. I wiped a tear away from me. "Next time I hear this shit from you again, I swear I'll beat you until your faggot body can't take it anymore."

I felt a few more tears fall, but I wiped them away and hoped that Avi couldn't see them. I was embarrassed to cry in front of someone like Avi.

"Are you going to explain or not?" He asks. I didn't say anything and I felt him move closer. "You've hurt way to many people. You took Jackson from me, Scott has been in our hotel room crying for two days, and here you are, nothin' to say!" He exclaims. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't beat your ass right now!" I didn't say anything, and before I could do anything, Avi's fist hit my stomach forcefully.

His fist hit me hard and I felt myself crumble to the ground. I didn't look up to him, I didn't move. Not because of the pain, though that helped, but because I was horrified of what would happen if I moved. I felt a kick to my stomach, I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Stop," I begged, but he wouldn't.

"You really thing the dean would've believed you?" He laughs. "You're useless and irrelevant." I didn't want to be able to breathe in this very moment. I was hated by people who didn't know me, beaten by a boy who used me, and left by another who I cared about. And was it my fault? They always told me it was my fault. Do I believe them? I don't know. I can't tell if what I did was wrong or not, but either way, I regret everything I had done.

Another kick to my abdomen. This one hurt worse than the others. It knocked the breathe out of me and suddenly I couldn't help but scream.

"Stop! Stop! Help, someone help! I didn't mean to!"

"Stop!" I yell. "Brian, stop! I didn't do it! I care about Austin, you did this to me!" Suddenly I felt the pain stop.

"What?" I hear a voice say. I sank to the floor let my head fall to me hands. "Who the hell is Brian?" I looked up to the voice and their features started to flood back in. Dark hair, a beard, Avi. I stood up as fast as I could with pain in my stomach and banged on my door. Alex opened it quickly and pulled me in, but Avi stopped the door from shutting. "Hold up," he says. "Who's Brian? And Austin?" I began to cry and I couldn't speak

"Avi, you need to go," Alex says, standing in front of me. Avi moved towards me but Alex pushed him back. "Get out," he says more firmly.

"Why did he call me Brian?" Avi asks quietly. I looked up in fear and muttered one word.

"Leave."